#oupsee

[randomoranges]

October Long pt 3

October 7th 2023

“Did you really mean it?” Étienne asks as they exit the metro and start the walk back towards his place. The rain had stopped and despite the wind, the fresh air is good and it gives Étienne a chance to walk Mercury before they get back home. “Earlier,” He clarifies after a moment, “When you told Suzette you’d think about coming over for the holidays…”

Edward can tell that Étienne is trying to be nonchalant about it and he thinks it’s endearing. He bumps their arms and twines their fingers together when he feels Étienne’s hand brush up against his.

“Yeah. I mean, it would be nice to come back again… Although, I was surprised, but your family didn’t seem to be aware that we’re dating?” He poses it as a question and Étienne is quiet as they cross the street. Élyse knows, obviously, but she’s different.

“I never told them.” Étienne finally tells him and Edward is a little bit surprised by this news.

“Still?”

Étienne shrugs. Then again, Étienne has never been the one to share personal details about his life with others, but he would have thought that after over fours years, the news would have been spread. “We never talked about it and I felt wrong telling them without making sure you were okay with others knowing. I’m not ashamed of them knowing or of dating you, but I didn’t think they needed to know and it never came up…”

Edward lets the news sink in. He’s somewhat touched and he supposes that it makes sense. He’s also always been on the quiet side of things and he’s thankful for Étienne’s consideration.

“Oh – yeah, that makes sense. Well, assuming I show up for Christmas, what do we tell them, or not tell them?”

“I mean,” Étienne lets out a puff of air and let’s go of Edward’s hand to pass it through his hair, before burying it deep in his sweater’s pocket. “I wouldn’t mind telling them, but if you don’t that’s fine too. We used to sleep in separate rooms more often than not before, so that wouldn’t be new either.”

Edward thinks about it for a moment. Deep down, he wouldn’t mind either. He knows that Étienne’s family is accepting and it wouldn’t change much to any of their lives. However, it would also mean explaining the fact that he’s also in a relationship with Calvin, especially if Calvin comes along, and he’s not sure if that would be too much for them. Still, he knows it would make Étienne happy if they told them and he supposes that, at the very least, would be a start.

“Yeah, I guess we can tell them and I will really think about coming, promise, but I also need to check with Cal and see if we already had some form of embryonic plans or some such.”

Étienne nods and doesn’t say anything about how it seems that Edward keeps telling him that he’ll really think about visiting but then doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ruin the good evening and despite whatever thoughts he has lingering in his mind, he knows that Edward really means it, even if it doesn’t always work out.

“Calvin can obviously come,” He says instead because it’s the right thing to say and because he wants to reassure Edward at the same time. Plus, if it means it’ll get Edward to visit, he’s ready to use whatever trick he can.

“Ha, I knew you’d say that,” Edward tells him linking their arms together. He can’t really tell, but he’s convinced Étienne’s cheeks have pinked somewhat.

“Plus, if Cal comes my brother will be actually genuinely thrilled to see him, even though both of them combined together might make them insufferable, but if it means Samuel will be off my back for an evening, then so be it. I’ll endure whatever other stupidities they come up with.” He pauses for a moment and then cringes, “God though, can you imagine both of them together? I’ll have to remember to bring the good booze.”

Edward laughs. Personally, he has theories as to why Samuel and Calvin get along, but he’ll share them with Étienne later. “Where was your brother anyways?” He asks instead.

This time, when Étienne laughs, it’s without humour. “As if my brother would have graced this godforsaken city with his presence. He probably stayed home with Fred.”

If Edward wouldn’t have known better, he would have guessed that Étienne was bitter. “I thought you got along and liked Frédéric?” Of all the times Étienne has mentioned his brother’s boyfriend, it has always sounded quite positive. Then again, something could have happened since.

“Oh, we do,” Étienne quickly reassures him, “And he’s a saint for putting up with that asshole, but there’s just so much one can do to fix my brother’s shitty personality.” Étienne shrugs and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket. He struggles with the lighter for a moment, having to disentangle their joint arms, but once he gets the lighter going and the cigarette is safely in his mouth, he links their arms back.

Edward observes him for a moment and watches the smoke curl around Étienne’s face. He’s struck once more by how right he was about the family dynamics between Étienne and the others and he wonders if they’ll ever come to some understanding.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I hope I’ll be able to properly meet him under the context of Christmas.”

The comment seems to put a smile back on Étienne’s face and they finish the walk back to the apartment in relatively good cheer.

FIN

#pc: montreal #étienne maisonneuve #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #fic #projocanondoko #made one change because lol #forgot ed totally has met fred bcs of city meets lamao #oupsee

[randomoranges]

the first half of this is like haha oupsee and the second half is like But Also

Dress Shirt

Étienne mindlessly tugs on the sleeve of his sweater, as his second group of the day trickles in. It’s Edward’s class and he’s always privately amused when he has his boyfriend’s group. They don’t know, obviously, but he does and the knowledge amuses him.

 He’s busy giving out instructions when one of the students’ comes up to him and says, “Hen, M Étienne, vous avez le même chandail que M Édouard?!”

 He pauses, mid sentence and looks down to the shirt he’s wearing underneath the sweater and feels a split second of anxiety.

 It is, indeed, Edward’s shirt. Kids can be so – observant when they want to.

 There’s a perfectly good reason for the shirt.

 Kind of.

 Not one he’s about to share with the kids, who’ve now noticed that their art teacher has the same shirt as their teacher and who are making a Big Deal out of it.

 Last afternoon, like every other afternoon, at the end of the school day, Edward had set out to drive him home, like he does nearly every afternoon and as he’s been doing for the past year and a half. However, halfway through the ride, after their discussion on what they were each making for supper, Étienne had made a comment about how much better Edward’s supper sounded, and his boyfriend had asked him if he wanted to stay for supper.

 Étienne had said yes, obviously, and supper had turned into watching some television together, which had turned into making-out on the sofa, which had led Edward to pull Étienne to his bedroom, which had turned into more fooling around, which had culminated in Étienne spending the night on a weekday night.

 It had been a really good night, though. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had sex on a school night.

 Therefore, seeing as he hadn’t been prepared to spend the night and seeing as they’d gone to bed past their normal bedtime and had rushed in the morning, Étienne hadn’t really thought anything when he’d asked Edward if he could borrow a shirt for the day. He’d picked his favourite one, Edward had driven them to school, and all the while Étienne had thought that maybe he should leave a change of clothes at Edward’s – in case this happened again. He’d like for it to happen again. Especially the impromptu version.

 “Ah oui?” He plays dumb. Thankfully, the shirt is a simple button down in powder blue. “J’imagine qu’on a du l’acheter au même magasin. C’est drôle, hein?” He laughs and the students giggle as well, before he ushers them to their seats so that they can start the lesson.

 No one else brings it up and the rest of the period goes off without further incidents.

 There’s half an hour left before lunch, when he happens to see the light blinking on his cell phone, alerting him of a message. His third group is busy working on their projects, and so, even though he’s not supposed to, he checks his phone and sees that Edward has sent him a text. Curious, he opens it up, wondering what it says.

 “Can we do lunch?”

 They hadn’t discussed eating together, but Étienne is never one to say no, unless he legitimately can’t.

 “Sure : )”

 He doesn’t bother to wait for an answer and goes back to his lesson.

 Edward shows up to the art room ten minutes after lunch started, after he’s brought his own kids to the cafeteria, and knocks on the door as he always does. Étienne looks up from the paint pucks he’s been setting up and grins, before he motions him in. He walks over to the door and makes sure to lock it behind Edward, before he pecks his boyfriend’s cheek in greeting.

 “Nice shirt,” Edward offers and Étienne lets out a semi-embarrassed laugh.

 “I guess you heard?”

 “It’s all the kids were talking about.”

 There’s a point of seriousness to Edward’s voice and Étienne wonders if maybe his boyfriend is bothered by this. If he hasn’t had a change of heart.

 “I’m sorry if I made things weird – I promise I didn’t tell them anything – just that we must have gotten it at the same store.”

 They both take a seat on the couch at the back of the room and Edward lets himself slump over with a deep sigh.

 “No – it’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. I played along as well and it’s fine, but – is it stupid that I got scared for a moment? That they’d figure it out and react?”

 Étienne blinks, confused for only a second and then it hits him. What it could mean. What it could look like. What it could lead to.

 “It’s not stupid,” Étienne says after a moment, a quiet little admission of defeat. “This is still school. People like us have been fired for less.”

 It’s a sobering fact to remember. It leaves a chill in the room that even the coziest of sweaters can’t whisk away.

 “I don’t know – maybe it would be easier if there was a precedent. Some queer kid in the school. Queer parents. Something that would let us know it’s okay,” Sure, the union has an ally branch – but for the kids. There’s never really anything mentioned for staff. Even when he tried to look, he’s found nothing.

 Edward picks up, “Yet, in all my years here, I’ve never heard of a student having queer parents. Or even mentioning a queer family member or friend. I mean, I get we’re in elementary. Kids coming out happens more frequently in high school, but still. It would help. Would ease the tension and the anxiety.”

 He remembers hearing stories growing up. He remembers the fear he had felt, even then, without knowing. The sleepless nights afterwards. Wondering, always, how would it impact him, even though this was a new millennium. It’s always easier to say that one is tolerant, another to apply it when faced with the facts. Would the school accept two queer teachers? Would the parents turn on them? Would the school ask them to leave, politely, before they caused more damage? Because parents would talk? Would they even?

 Étienne reaches out and gives his knee a squeeze. “I hate that I get what you mean,” He sighs out and spares him a glance, “And that we have to choose – between being ourselves or going back into some proverbial closet. Potentially losing a job and causing a scene, or keeping our heads down and passing by.”

 “Yeah...” He’s relieved Étienne gets it. He would, obviously, but he’s relieved regardless. If anything, at least, he’s not alone. He’s not going back home to some other boyfriend who doesn’t have to worry about this one issue and who won’t understand. He’s been there before.

 “I know it’s not ideal, but I’m not – I don’t think I’m ready. To be out. Here.” He casts a worried glance around the room and then to Étienne, afraid his boyfriend will get annoyed. They’ve only been dating for a few short months and he knows he should have brought this up over summer, but – he’d forgotten. “I know you’re more – out than me. In your style and way of dressing... and I know it’s asking a lot.”

 “Hey, no, I get it – I really do.” Étienne says and tugs at Edward’s body until his boyfriend is leaning on him, using his chest as a pillow, “The school institution in itself is still a very conservative place full of archaic rules. I’m fine with playing it safe and testing the waters. Not rocking the boat and all. I might be the art teacher and get away with some things, but believe it or not there are still things I keep to myself as well.”

 They’ve spoken some about this over the summer, once they’d started dating. Of certain things they both enjoy doing that wouldn’t be accepted by the school’s dress code. Certain hobbies that might be frowned upon by more conservative minded people. It’s exhausting, really and they both hate it. Yet, even if they decided to take up arms to fight the stigma, it would take a lot of time and they’re both uncertain they have the drive in them for it.

 “Sometimes, I wish I had a different job. One where I could – dress the way I wanted and just be me. No one would question it.” Edward admits, his head on Étienne’s shoulder where it’s nice and safe. “I mean, I know that there are issues everywhere and that even if I worked at a bank a client could decide not to touch money I handled because I’m gay, or something, but I feel that there’s an extra layer in a school. Because of the kids.”

 He’s heard stories – on the news, online, of parents accusing teachers – hell, even more open-minded straight teachers of turning their kids “gay” because of class discussions or certain books they’d make their kids read or some other stupid thing. He knows they live in a pretty tolerant and open-minded city, but it doesn’t mean everyone is on board and there’s no way of knowing which parents would be on their side and which ones would want them out. Unfortunately, there is no survey that’s sent out at the start of the year along with photo authorisations.

 “I hate that I always have to fucking lie and pretend.” Edward concludes with another frustrated sigh.

 “Me too,” Étienne adds.

 They fall quiet for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, imagining what their lives could be like if there wasn’t this constant stress, simmering in the back of their minds, dictating their every move – watching and waiting for them to tumble and fall.

 “I don’t know if it makes things easier or harder that we work in the same place and that we’re together, but I know I’m glad I’m not alone – that if anything, we can at least get support from one another and maybe, hopefully, with time, we’ll find out who the allies are.”

 Edward looks at him and scrubs a hand over his face, before he offers him the smallest of smiles. It’s not much, but Étienne will take it.

 “I guess you’re right,” He pauses and then looks over to Étienne, “Okay, but what were the actual odds that in a job composed mostly of women, the only two male teachers would not only be queer but end up together?” He huffs a laugh and Étienne grins, joining him.

 “Probably very little, but I don’t regret it.”

 He means it, truly. He’d obviously enjoyed being friends with Edward, but he likes where their relationship has been going and he hopes that – even if it’s a little unconventional, that they’ll manage to overcome whatever hardships and insecurities will come their way.

 “Me neither.” They might have to make concessions because of their work, but Edward has vowed to himself, years ago, that he wouldn’t stop himself from being happy and living his life because of what others might think of him. He might not be willing to go to battle over every issue, but he’ll find ways to make this work. They both will.

 “For the record, you can keep the shirt – it looks really good on you.”

 Étienne laughs, this time for real, and it’s closer to his usual carefree laugh, before he playfully hits Edward on the shoulder.

 FIN

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #au #fic #teacher au