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#overall i think its a better decision than staying here tho. and my mom promised me i could redo my entire bedroom at home so like.
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#i feel. so sick rn .#it has hit me like. oh yeah. my last day of work is in 2 days. i am never going to see any of these people again.#that post abt like. the light that follows u around and glows when its the last time youre ever gonna see someone/do something#. its haunting me rn#laying. on the fucking floor#:|#<< current emotion#im like. feeling every emotion known to mankind /neg and they are all cancelling each other out so im Actually feeling nothing.#im like. excited to go home bur also the idea of . living in proximity to certain people/places again is making me sick to my stomach fr#like! i escaped! i fucking escaped and got out and im free and . i am Choosing to go back now. why the fuck am i doing that#overall i think its a better decision than staying here tho. and my mom promised me i could redo my entire bedroom at home so like.#in her words (which hit me like a truck and i appreciate very much coming from her)#'it wont feel like the room you went through high school in'#so. im hoping that makes it better.#and now that i have. living on my own experience. i wont just. be cooped up at home with nothing to do.#esp bc im familiar with the area and know where thinggs are#but that doesnt completely cancel out the 'theres a nonzero chance you could run into people you used to know'#and 'you have to drive past her house whenever you go to x location'#which. fucking sucks. its fine. its fine . im just#its all hitting me NOW because my last day of work is coming up and all of my coworkers are. saying goodbye to me n stuff#its a lot. an d also nothing. and also everything.#:(#idk man. sucks#delete later
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