#pierre on the other hand. his reaction to cherry isnt to make an attempt to connect with this new person or anything

[cultivatingyourfuture]

OK BRAIN WORM NUMB R ONE. WHAT WAS THE THING WITH NEIL N PIERRE ABOUT DYING AND COMING BACK THE SAVE VS LIVING WRONG

i went through. my entire got damn blog trying to figure out WHAT you were referring to where the hell i had said this. and then realized it was the 3rd most recent reblog. im so smart and organized guys

so in reference to this post

essentially you can read it as either neil or pierre, but the perspective of WHO is saying this definitely changes.

for neil, the dying and coming back refers to the cyborg process and the fact that neil has the very unique situation of... being used for intermittent testing for about a year. And then being shut off and kept in essentially storage for about 6-8 years after that. where he was unconcious and did not age at all. so when he gets out, its still just a teenage boy, but suddenly everyone is so much older and everything is different and not only is eveline older shes also. not her anymore. which is not new ground here ajdjdhfjf

but its also worth noting that neil does not get the near instantaneous reconciliation that he did with cherry in WTTW, because cherry is dead. for at least 10 months. so it spends that time not knowing why cherry came to RR or who they are now or anything of the sort. so like if i had to do a line by line breakdown itd look like:

-"i died but i came back exactly the same" neil has not significantly aged and is around the same age he was when eveline knew it

-"you though, i came back and you were wrong" neil is the same. eveline is very much not. it has been a much shorter time

-"did the fact of my dying really damage you this much?" neil doesnt know WHY evelines so different and wonders if them being ripped apart the way they were had anything to do with it

-"was bringing me back worth what it cost you?" neil thinking the reason any of this happened is because eveline came back for him, and it cost her her life. (also the fact that haha um neil is. Kind of the one who kills cherry. oopsie!)

-"would it have been better to just leave me?" neil sees all the new people in their life that they dont know and feels guilty over the idea that He was (as far as he knows. because no one ever tells the kids anything except for vallen but shhh) the reason eveline went back, died, and left all of her friends to clean up the aftermath of it all. tldr neil blames himself for everything bad that happened to cherry and it fucks him up bc i cannot give that boy a moment of peace

pierre is a lot more straightforward. imagine some visage of eveline saying this shit to him. "bringing me back" is less about being brought from the dead and more about, like. taking someone by force and bringing them back home.

pierre sees the moment "eveline" escaped left as the big turning point of his life, when everything having to do with his future life became a lot less clear and what was left of his morals went down the drain in pursuit of Maybe Having Her Back One Day and as such he DOES wonder what may have happened had he just... let her be. so he lives in guilt over what happened because it went So So Wrong and because shes gone with next to no chance of seeing her again and not. the obvious reason he should feel guilt over eveline.

the more things change etc etc

#lies in a pile. On the ground. forever #neil #pierre #meta #worst comparison i could EVER make between these two and it is in VERY DIFFERENT WAYS #but neil and pierre both have issues understanding that eveline is gone and that cherry is not her. although they do understand that - #something Has fundamentally changed. #though neil is upset and frustrated by it because his sister DIDNT come back for him she DIDNT know he was even there #and this person ISNT HER but all of evelines love for him is in them for some reason but its not the same. it just isnt. #but he at least tries to understand how this happened and tries to connect with cherry where he can because. he's still grieving. #evelines been dead for 10 years but hes only been without her for a few months. its not an easy adjustment #pierre on the other hand. his reaction to cherry isnt to make an attempt to connect with this new person or anything #(which yaknow. thank god) but its to 'fix' eveline. to bring her back. #hes still got her memories. all he'd have to do is delete whatever files have filled their place and put them back in. #theres parallels her. both characters are in their own ways grieving and frustrated and upset about the fact that #yeah. shes gone. and this is not her. #but where neil tries to at least understand this new person who he can still see eveline in AND see this new happier person as well #pierre would rather hold onto what was and would effectively kill cherry if it meant having eveline back #yakno. grief and embracing the future vs living in the past and allthat #(except not really because what neils doing is grieving. Idk if i have a word for whatever pierres doing) #i doubt anyones gonna read this far soo uhh im also gonna say. something something ocarina of time on that one neil plot point #asks #down-thedrain