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aradias-crypt · 5 years

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Poker Face headcanons ♥️

Poker Face is mute

You’re not sure if she was ever capable of speech, or if she is mute by choice, but Poker Face is incapable of speech. Granted it’s probably her “thing” as a mime villain, but even when the two of you are alone she never speaks.

A notepad is slid into your line of sight.

Looking up from your keypad, you give the villain before you a look of utter confusion.

“How may I help you today ma’am?”

She points to the notepad, her mask completely obscuring her face.

Don’t for a moment think it stops her from having fun

You look at the paper.

“Hey cutie ;3”

You look up to see her pointing at you with finger guns.

It’s actually pretty hilarious when people assume she can’t understand them

Mute is not deaf. She is is perfectly capable of listening in on conversations. Don’t believe her? Well, don’t let him know, but you’d never believe the dirt she has on the mail boy from downstairs!

Poker Face is one of the “cool” villains

She’s honestly the best. Filled to the brim with charisma and self confidence, Poker Face doesn’t need anyone to tell her how great she is. Despite her inability to “talk” to most people she is capable of captivating everyone she meets. New villain? New friend! Group of kids at a park? Irresponsible Awesome aunt figure here she comes! Adorable new attorney at the Black Hat organization?

Sign her up~! *purrs*

Needless to say you were quickly won over.

She’s a bit of a show off, but she can’t help it! She loves impressing others!

You smile in awe as Poker Face produces a card from thin air and sets it on fire. Flicking her wrist, the card turns into a bouquet of orange and red roses. She offers it to you with a flourish.

“Wow!” You gingerly take them from her. Bringing them close, you smell them, picking up a vaguely orange scent. Huh. “They’re beautiful.” You murmur.

She chuckles from under her mask and twirls a knife on her finger. “It nothing.” She signs, spelling it out slowly for you.

With each visit to the organization, Poker Face has slowly but surely been teaching you the alphabet. And you can proudly say you’re getting the hang of it!

You sign back, “Very good still.”

Poker Face chuckles before putting a finger to her mask and pointing the hallway behind your desk.

You look back and salute as Black Hat squints at the flowers in your arms.

“Hey boss, when did you come back?”

“Not long ago.” He grumbles and turns his attention to the woman behind the counter, “Flowers, eh?”

She moves her head side to side giddily.

“Oh, before I forget, you have a meeting with Aku in an hour. He’s been going on about some design for a new armor or something, he kinda lost me in the last bit.”

Black Hat nods and takes a file from your desk. He bares his teeth at Poker Face before he goes.

“If my assistant’s work begins to lag it will be on your head.”

She blows a kiss.

No one knows her real name

Honestly, you’re not sure if anyone knows her real name. The only ones who know are probably herself and Black Hat seeing as he knows pretty much everything.

“You aren’t gonna tell me?”

Poker Face shakes her head and crosses her arms.

“Well I can’t keep calling you Poker Face, it’s pretty long.”

She tilts her head.

“You give name.” She signs.

You rub your chin, “Well.. you have hearts on your costumes.. and you’re kinda a diva.”

She snorts, ushering you to continue.

“Oh come on, it’s true and you know it.” You snap your fingers, “Queenie!”

“Why?”

“The Queen of Hearts, you know, like the kids movie. It suits you.” You grin cheekily.

Queenie pinches you playfully.

She’s a glutton for attention

If she didn’t have her mask on she’d be seen grinning all the time! Poker Face loves being in the spotlight, whether it’s at the craps table or on television after a heist, she adores being in the limelight.

Poker Face poses in front of the mirror, admiring her freshly cleaned uniform. Her stockings were covered in blast powers and all sorts of weird chemicals, but you somehow managed to clean it up!

You laugh from your spot at her vanity, “You’ve been staring at yourself for half an hour! Come on Queenie we have to go.”

You managed to reserve a seat at one of the more expensive fine dining restaurants in the city. Granted it was with the help of your boss’s name, but you still did it! And here Queenie was, taking her sweet ole time.

“So white.” She signs excitedly, “Very red. Clean. Soft. Stretchy still!” She does a backflip and lands in a split, making small sounds of glee.

“You’re going a bit too fast for me Queenie, I think I saw soft in there somewhere? ‘With’ something…?”

Spelling out the words slowly this time, Poker Face stands up and presses the mouth area of her mask to your cheek.

“Look good me!”

You smile, “You always look good. Now, I know you love your outfit but if you dress like that the cops will get us before we can finish an entrée.”

- -

“Queenie.. this isn’t low-key at all.”

She looks back at you.

Her dress is covered in rubies and rhinestones that flash and glitter with every turn. Her buttons are solid gold. Hell, she looks like she could buy the whole restaurant with just the sleeves!

“Cheap dress me own.”

“Liar.”

She snickers.

She loves swing!

If you haven’t noticed yet *flutters eyelashes under her mask* she is very flexible! Give her the right beat and she will break out in dance! As her partner, you will soon realize that no outing with Poker Face is complete without a moment of dancing. Having a special place in her heart for swing, Poker Face will bring you to swing competitions all over the place. Have extra work you have to do? She’ll help you! Have two left feet? You couldn’t have found yourself a better teacher!

“Queenie!” You burst into a fit of giggles as you are spun around the dance floor. Your blood thrums with excitement as people cheer all around you, your legs grow tired but your energy feels limitless!

Poker Face smiles, her mouth visible due to the opera mask she has stitched out.

Just for today, she reminded you earlier.

“You’re doing great.” She mouths.

If she knew you’d be as great as you were at swing she would’ve taught you the Charleston while she was at it!

Poker Face is fiercely loyal, hurt her loved ones and you may just lose your hand

Every villain has their own moral code. Some won’t hurt certain types of people and some don’t discriminate between who they kill. With Poker Face, everyone knows she defends her people.

She is the Queen of Cards after all.

Poker Face strokes your cheek as she pulls you to her chest. You both are hiding behind the bar of a gambling den, guns drawn as lower rate yakuza flood the room.

“Maybe we shouldn’t listen to Lady Naga for vacation suggestions.” You laugh weakly, your mind fuzzy with blood loss. Your leg was coated in blood.

Turns out, silk doesn’t absorb blood as well as you thought.

Poker Face fumes with rage, her knuckles white with how tightly she holds her gun.

How dare they hurt you! How dare they ruin your date! You were about to win the jackpot!

You look up at her.

“Queenie..?” You say unsteadily.

She lifts her mask and kisses the top of your head.

“No move.” She signs.

You nod.

She lets go and fires above the bar.

The firing above your head falters.

Poker Face slides over the bar and sends bullets in every direction; her hands fill with blade like cards once the ammo runs out.

- -

You leave the bar with her.

No one follows behind.

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