#ppl are always like 'the internet is forever' lmao no its fucking not sites fuck shit up all the time

[coridallasmultipass]

Going through my old blog posts again, and fUCK!!!!

Another fucking BroCal post that Tumblr bans have taken from me, it's just a broken link now. If anyone knows where to find the original post somewhere else, or has the images saved, please, PLEASE, LMK. God, I regret not saving everything before 2019. Tumblr has taken so much. Ugh. I just wanna live in the nostalgia!! Why did they have to remove all these old posts...

#why cant people just exist as adults on the internet any more im sick of this #i should check my old laptop if i saved any brocal on there ughh #like its like a whole chunk of history is missing from my tumblr/DIARY of things i liked #and im never gonna get that back bc of fucking purity culture removing all mature shit off this fucking site #like i cant even look at my own reblog of it to see if its something i even want on my blog #theres just this ghost of a thumbnail left in the mass post editor where ill never be able to see the context ever again #ppl are always like 'the internet is forever' lmao no its fucking not sites fuck shit up all the time #my whole life on the internet has been suffering as sites die or disappear without a trace #now its just social media and i cant even access the shit on my own blog bc the original post i shared got flagged and op probably deleted #so no chance of ever seeing it again #something something all these moments will be lost in time like tears in rain #or something poetic about the fleeting nature of humanity #NOTHING is forever #and it sucks #Cori.exe #Post.exe #brocal #vent #lil cal #puppets #idfk bro just trigger tagging #no one actually cares enough lmao

[gayshipsandanxiety]

a list of what went down between me and my mom last night bc im still tryna process what happened and ill cry if i dont tell anyone

okay so it started at dinner

my dad reffered to my friend by she/her pronouns and i was like “yeah and they do this thing”

but my dad didnt get the hint and kept calling them she

so i was like “oh actually they use they/them pronouns”

and my dad was great about it, saying that he would do better in the future

but my mom was like “no thats not proper english stop correcting us why do you always pick a fight”

so then i tried to expn to her that i wasnt picking a fight and i was just tryna defend my friend

and then my mom told me “shes not here, she doesnt need defending and if you dont stop im going to punish you”

at this point i was crying, bc 1. anxiety and 2. my mom is transphobic and refuses to acknowledge it

which she got really mad about, saying that im strong enough to yell at people but not strong enough to get yelled at, which i guess is true but also not

so then i went up to my room so i wouldnt have to cry in front of her

then she came up to y room and was like “you have a failure to communicate”

and she sat there trying to get me to talk

so finally i was like “your being a casual transphobe” bc she fucking was

she got super mad abt this, saying that i had no idea who she worked with and was friend with

i cried again

she said im not allowed to call her names and then cry about it and act like im the victim. she kept repeating the phrase “you cant throw rocks and hurt people, then act like youve been hurt” for like the next hour and a half when we were talking.

and then i think i had an anxiety attack? im not sure but i couldnt get my breathing under control and i couldnt stop crying.

which mom got really mad about, bc she thought i was faking it or smth

and like yeah i could breathe normally, but only by biting my lip really hard and shaking

then she looked at a piece of paper i had on my wall and was like “that poster is wrong, you know. fandom doesnt mean family.”

so apparently she knows i talk to ppl online

@elen-aiwe she said i can keep talking to you but if she catches me on any other sites im not supposed to be on she’ll take away my pc forever

she then proceded to tell me how tv shows and movies are “just stories” and “real friend are better than internet friends”

lmao everything i care about is pointless to her

also she thinks that being gay is all abt sex

and shes mad at me for calling her homophobic

somebody help

i dont know whats happening anymore

fandom is my only escape but i cant get to fandom 24/7

i feel like im suffocating whenever im around her

and im only 13 so its not like i have to wait a few months and then move out or some shit like that

i feel like my only option is to get dad to divorce her, but that would give my sister anxiety

and my dad is kinda on my side but thinks that i should just let it go and live my life

how do i make my parents see that mom is hurting me?

and mom was physically abused as a kid, so she thinks that what shes doing to me is just normal parenting. yelling at ur kid is nothing compared to throwing them against the wall.

#talking about my mom #abuse tw #tw abuse