#put em all in there fuggit

[toxooz]

also been thinking abt pooki with his cunty scarf💅

if my next drawing post isnt the comic update take me out back and shoot me like a sick dog

#ghost #this was a wip too and its mainly to keep that damn twitter algorithm from throwing me into the abyss if im not on every fukkin day #i got sonethin imma post on patreon bc christ sake ppl are paying me but otherwise no more fukkin around #my first time seeing him wit the scarf a 'slay queen' slipped out despite me never really fukkin saying shit like that AHA #ghost with the crustiest bloodshot eyes from getting 3 hrs of sleep bawling his eyes out in the shower and smoking 5 blunts #bc girl thats how it is #my art #fanart #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon riley #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #mw3 #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty modern warfare 3 #put em all in there fuggit

[austinpanda]

Letter to Dad

15 April, 2018

Dear Dad--

Happy tax day! Although taxes aren't due until Monday this year because it's the weekend. April 15th is also my anniversary at work, so I've now been there for 22 years. Egad, I need to leave this job, and soon! Heh heh. 

Also, Zach usually gets groceries Sunday mornings. And the reason he gets groceries on Sundays instead of both of us getting groceries on Sundays, is because I get groceries on Wednesdays. This time, though, I felt like going with him, and I offered, and he accepted. This probably helped us to avoid some frustration, because a funny thing happened. Two weeks ago, he texted me from the store to let me know he was on his way home. This way, I can be out in the parking lot when he pulls up and I can help him carry the groceries inside, because I'm a good husband, right? So two weeks ago he texted me when he was leaving the store, but for some reason the text didn't arrive until after he was walking up the stairs to the apartment. I just happened to talk outside and was gobsmacked to see him coming up the stairs. THEN his text arrived. For some reason, when he texted me, it went into the ether and sat there for 20 minutes before finding its way to my phone.

So ONE week ago, I suggested to Zach: When you leave the store, just call me.  A live phone call isn't going to disappear for 20 minutes. Piece o' cake! So I waited, and waited, and finally I just went outside to take out the trash, because I felt it'd been too long already, and he was walking upstairs with groceries, looking less than pleased. I took out the trash, and he came back outside, and I met him at his car to help get the last of the groceries. As I walked up to him, apologizing, my phone (in my pocket) made a bunch of noises, all at once, indicating I'd had two missed calls, and one text message from Zach. So he heard this, and we both cursed in bemused exasperation. "What the FUCK is up with your cell phone?"

For this morning's trip to the store, I just said, "Fuggit, I'll come with you." We don't often to go the store together, because he goes on Sunday and I go on Wednesday, but what the hell. Going to the store is nice when it's 7:00 a.m. and you're the only ones there. I don't mean to harp on something so banal, but when you value your space, and your quiet, and your privacy, going to the grocery store is a big pain in the ass. This is a little bit true for me, and a LOT true for Zach. And Austin is a very big, very crowded city. Say, did I mention the grocery store where I shop sells whole frozen pig heads? It's a landmark for me when I shop. I get to the frozen pig heads and text Zach: I'm at the pig heads. Tell me if you think of anything we need at the store that we didn't put on the list.

Today I'm moving Operation: Hummingbird Assassin Squad into its next phase. Now that the hummers have returned from Mexico, or South America, or wherever they go, and they're showing up regularly at my feeders, I'm going to start training them to come to my patio at a certain time every day. Apparently, hummingbirds are just as fond of (and naturally adaptive to) routines as most animals. If you keep your hummingbird feeders inside during the night and morning, and deploy them outside at the same time every day, they'll pick up on that routine. They'll grow to expect it, and if that time passes, and you haven't deployed the food, they WILL show up and they WILL bitch at you about it. "Hey! Food time, ya lazy fucker!" They'll actually buzz around you and peep angrily. I can only assume it's adorable.

So I'm going to take the feeders inside every night before bed and re-deploy them every day at, say, 6:00 p.m. Then I can do something I haven't been able to do yet, which is to not just summon the hummingbirds, but summon them at a time of my choosing. I should think this will also help them become less wary about my presence, and therefore easier to photograph. As I've mentioned in the past, hummingbirds are like mockingbirds, they're belligerent little assholes; they're brazen, and they're territorial, and they'll sometimes run off any potential competitors nearby. Then again, if two dozen hummers all show up at once to feed at my feeders, no one will chase anyone away, they'll all just form queues to chow down. It should make photographing them much easier than usual. And if I can catch them in direct sunlight, I can use a fast enough shutter speed that I may be able to freeze the motion of their wings, which is like Chinese algebra, it's so fuckin' hard. That would be a VERY good picture. 

I suppose after that, my next goal will be to train them to attack humans on my command. Or maybe to begin teaching them to enjoy alcohol. (Start 'em off on beer? I dunno.) Oh, I've also found (seriously) that if you leave certain kinds of cotton nearby, like raw cotton and not cotton ball cotton, the hummingbirds will take little bits of the cotton away, and use it for nesting material. And in case you were wondering, yes, wee little hummingbirds do indeed make wee little nests, about the size of the bottom half of a shot glass, and have seriously wee little eggs that make wee little baby hummingbirds. And yes, the way the hummers feed their young is exactly as disgusting as all other kinds of baby bird feedings you've ever seen in documentaries. 

Off to get my day going. I hope your week ahead is a very fine one!