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i-did · 3 years

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hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

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zuzusexytiems · 7 years

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tagged by @babyfairybaekhyun to post unecessary information about yours truly lmao THANKS BAE

also i answered this last friday and saved it on my drafts so the first part of this doesn’t exactly count anymore ack

THE LAST: 1. Drink: white coffee which I mixed some milo into 2. Phone call: My uber driver asking me where I was 3. Text message: An appointment confirmation from my therapist 4. Song you listened to: Homesick at Space Camp - Fall Out Boy 5. Time you cried: The other night bc I read this stupid VIctuuri oneshot based off of PS I Love You aND THEY FUCKING KILLED OFF VICTOR WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF UDJHSUIJ @randomrissarush HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: I’m not even sure tbh lmao 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah. 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: Yeah. 10. Been depressed: Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yeah. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pink, blue, ochre yellow IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yep. 16. Fallen out of love: Wasn’t even in love with anyone in the first place lmao #sadlyf 17. Laughed until you cried: Not sure tbh 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah. The older you get, the more you realize how inevitable that shit is, lbr. 19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah. Not in a very good way though, no. 20. Found out who your friends are: Already have for a while now. @randomrissarush 56. Pair of trainers: I’m not sure how I’m supposed to answer this?? Like do you mean I own a pair trainers or…? :)))

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Not at the moment 58. Drinking: Nothing 59. I’m about to: leave the office 61. Waiting for: The Legend of Korra comics coming in October uhfjkdhsfnusj 62. Want: I don’t know I want lots of things and I’m really fucking lonely 63. Get married: if I meet the right person, then yeah 64. Career: I’m a copywriter but I’m planning on taking my masters in clinical psychology

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: Younger (but not too much, like 2-3 years is my cap off lol) 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms (cus I like soft bellies)(would not be opposed to abs tho ngl) 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive af 72. Hook up or relationship: either 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: yeah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No, I’ve never had or needed either 77. Turned someone down: Yeah. 78. Sex in the first date: Nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yeah. 80. Had your heart broken: Yeah. 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Learning to (struggling to. rather) 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: Maybe. It doesn’t happen to everyone but I do think it’s possible 87. Santa Claus: …no? 88. Kiss in the first date: Depends. I’m leaning towards a no rn though 89. Angels: ehhh sometimes 90. Current best friends name: CURRENT??? @randomrissarush THIS IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE, EXCUSE ME. Also Bea, Jara, E.Y. and Apoline @heart-peen 91. Eyecolor: Dark brown 92. Favorite movie: Big Fish

gonna tag @randomrissarush @impalakatara @savingprimrose @muse-of-chaos@littledevil26 @writeme123@pettypingpongpaddle @p-t-f-s @lekoppafandoms @beifongheiress @lithafox@paper-jamz

enjoy!

#sharing tiems #tag thing

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