#repeatedly hearing that you're being too intense and that you're making the other party uncomfortable during a fun/interesting convo

[masezace]

really getting tired of people i thought i could trust turning around and making me feel like shit for autistic traits that i can't help

#was having a convo with a trusted - usually very supportive - loved one and i was talking too animatedly about an interest #and got told i was being too intense and needed to calm down #:( #i need to be able to unmask around people i can trust because i'm still coming out of a 2 year long burnout #but people i thought i could trust are really proving lately that allistics/ neurotypicals just can't be trusted #they'll truly never understand no matter how hard they try and no matter how much they think they do #they're never going to fully be able to get rid of their ableism #to be clear #this didn't just happen once #this has been happening consistently and increasingly over the past couple years while i am no longer able to mask like i used to #so this is yet another incident to add to the pile and it's just getting too heavy to bear lately #repeatedly hearing that you're being too intense and that you're making the other party uncomfortable during a fun/interesting convo #really just... hurts #it makes me no longer want to talk at all #but if i do then they get irritated that i'm not engaging in conversation any more #autistic people really just can't win huh #autism #audhd #asd #personal #mase rambles