#she would LOVE the silly little clowns and their theme since its based off a play | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bucketogrubsarchive · 4 years

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Quick Fire Facts about the muses!

(Editor Beezie here aka the mun: I will be doing small quick fires of the muses of this blog. This will include upcoming ones too. Just a few four headcanon facts about the guys.These are the official headcanon of the fantrolls in this blog. There is more facts about the trolls but these are the only facts I can tell you without spoiling their whole backstories. If you wish to know more about the mueses please send in a ask and find out. )

Calice Wahron

.Calice makes her own paints at home by mixing flowers,precious stones and clay hence the name dirt paintings or rivercolors.

Calice is highly allergic to salt water, because of her genetic mutation of an olive with sea dweller gills and fins.

Her horns are based off the clovers of the bermuda buttercup or the buttercup oxalis that grow in winter months in the state I’m in and they’re my favorite flower. While her design is slightly based on the book Winds in the willow.

Calice’s sign is the mun’s homestuck zodiac sign.

Eponia Hompis

Eponia was originally a ship baby between two canon characters that the mun no longer ships. But still show a little bit of the ship what she was formally was once in a while whenever interacting with others or in rps.

Yes the mun is fully aware she’s been writing Eponia’s name like this ‘Epoina’ she’s just too lazy to fix it now.

Eponia’s current design was originally adopt for a flower theme of trolls. Her flower being irises. But I fell in love with her design and kept her.

Eponia can make extremely fluffy jiggly grubcakes aka pancakes which she often sees as a failure.

Kimaoi Midria

Like Eponia Kimaoi was going to be a grubling adoption, her design was a bronze grub with vitiligo and rabbit tail. But I decided to scrap the bunny tail and keep Kimaoi for myself.

Kimaoi’s name is the combination of kimo kawaii meaning and please correct me if I am wrong in the comments. It looks a little creepy but cute.

If you guys hadn’t noticed Kimaoi had a few scars on her legs, meaning she had self harmed herself in the past, due to having dealt with depression and had trauma with abuse. And still recovering at her own pace to self love again.

Like the words for her name, Kimaoi loves everything spooky and scary. Basically halloween is her Christmas. She loves it and finds what we see as big scary monsters to Kimi she sees puppy. ( The mun is no better if facing monsters or dinosaurs and willing to call them puppies)

Kotton Poplus

Kotton is at this moment is one of two out of the ask group that has their pale quadrant filled.

Kotton was suppose to be a ship baby from two canon characters but got scrapped and the mun doesn’t ship anymore. But like Epoina, it's hinted who they were who turned Kotton into a clown loving puffball who doesn’t know too much of the rules between limes and purples.

Kotton’s name is the combination of Kitten and Cotton Candy, Hence why she appears to be extremely hyper and overly positive to some situations.

Kotton and her morial are the youngest of the adults trolls, both being 8.77 aka 19 years old. And yes she is the party girl of the cast.

Mariot Lotora

Mariot is the only one out of the group at this moment who has their red quadrant filled and is the mama of Macleo.

Mariot’s name is the combination of two Agatha Christie's characters miss Marple and Hercules Poirot.

Mariot had gone through probably the most design changes out of the group currently.

Is the main mom friend of the group to make sure the younger jades in the caverns are not sneaking off or bringing something back to the caverns. This goes double with the ask cast too.

Mairuz Panais

Mairzu is one of my oldest oc characters, not by age but who came first in the large group when being created. he, Nefiri and Rafina were the big ogs before everyone else was created. And went through a massive design and character change before making his appearance on the blog.

Mairzu’s name is a play on words of the italian almond candy marzipan.

Whenever Mairzu becomes scared or excited he would start to smell like someone’s favorite candy for the whole day. This is from an inside joke me and a friend have about Mairzu due to his namesake.

Whenever Mairzu becomes flustered or has a crush on someone will do the goofy’s very loudly hyuck. He is very embarrassed about it.

Nefiri Bastia

Nefiri is from a very long line of huntresses/tribe leaders. Where her traditions is where both eggs from blackrom and redrom are at risk from the other mate in the chief's black and red quadrant. Nefiri’s egg is the only known recorded redrom egg in the bloodline.

Nefiri is the old lost friend of @ask-swagger-dagger-trolls’s oc Jamari, she is not part of his quadrant. She did had two of her quadrants filled before losing them to a rival tribe forcing her into exile. Making her quadrants empty.

If she really likes you, Nefiri will lick your cheek or rub her head against you much like how a big cat greets their keeper. Or full on big cat hug which she tends to forget how strong she is at times. And if Nef has red feelings to someone she will bring dead animals and extremely affectionate to them.

Nefiri does not know how modern society works at all. If you put her in a city setting, she will become extremely tense and nervous about it. Hell she is kinda the reason if someone has some sort of new tech and its someone she’s close to. Yeah.. She’ll see it as a threat and will destroy it.

Nixiie Apilon

Nixiie has a babyface, meaning she is easily mistaken to be younger than her actual age. She is 10.62 aka 23 in human years at this moment since her wiggling day is in the spring.

To Nixiie she sees any jade in caverns she’s in as family/teachers. For example @princeofdoomrps Viktor, Nixiie calls him a teacher if she knows he is not part of her cavern while with @faithlines ‘s Lacuna she is not sure in that department so big sister teacher. And feels extremely guilty if a higher authority jade sees her and she thinks she’s in trouble like anyone of us would towards our own family,teachers or bosses fearing we will be punished or be a disappointment to them.

Nixiie’s name is the combination of Pixie and Nymph two magical creatures of folklore and her horns and wings are based off of the lunar moth. But went through a lot of design changes before taking in another grub adopt and turn it into Nixiie today. And like a moth to a flame if Nixiie sees something new or is extremely excited she will go after it.

Nixiie doesn't eat meat, she will drink troll blood but will not touch anything that is made from an animal. She’s pretty much the vegan girl of the group.

Pohkin Boines

Pohkin wears a corset under her clothes and will deny it if someone asks if she does wear it. This goes double for the weave. And bust size.

Pohkin was held to a high standard by her lusus when being raised to become a regel and lady of high blood society and look down at her fellow low caste even in her own.

Pohkin carries around a very sharp and large syringe and will use it on anyone she either deems as a riff raff or a threat. However she’s not that strong. Cunning yes, but has no muscles.

Pohkin is at this moment tends to scare the mun and bullies me often whenever something silly comes her way. For example being put in an outfit like idk a chicken suit or something that shows way too much skin.

Rafina Uymumi

Rafina is a run away troll, to get away from her overly controlling lusus. She ran away and joined the circus sort of speak.

She is extremely flexible, able to bend and walk on her hands with ease and stay that way for a while before standing on her feet again.

Originally Rafina was going to be a shut in underwater writer for her blog for fantasy stories, but I didn’t think that would be a good fit for her. I wanted to give her the little mermaid story where Ariel wanted to go to the human world for her own means and not for a prince. But, still writes just for herself and refuse to show it to anyone.

Rafina’s performances either contains acrobatics gymnastics,belly dances or pole dances. Depending what’s on the line up or who’s the audience for the evening.

#Rafina Uymumi #Pohkin Boines #Nixiie Apilon #Nefiri Bastia #Mariot Lotora #Mairzu Panais #Kotton Poplus #Kimaoi Midria #Eponia Hompis #Calice Wahron #quick facts #fantroll #fantroll ask blog #Fantroll community #fantrolls #troll oc ask #long post #info #ask blog promo

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creativitymouth · 6 years

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The World Forgetting By The World Forgotten Pt.6

A/N - Sorry for the later than usual update, I got a tattoo today and didn’t get home until generally late. I will mostly be updating around 9pm - 10pm Eastern Time. I’m going to make a post after this about the different time zones and when to expect an update in your time zone. Also, can I comment on about how much I enjoy talking to @apartofthelosersclub, Because I do. And I love the asks and messages guys keep it up.

Summary: Push yourself to do what you feel is impossible and maybe you’ll unlock a new part to yourself. Maybe a part you don’t like.

Trigger Warnings: Major Depressive Themes, Swearing, Henry Bowers Sexual Assualt Reference, Trashmouth Tozier.

Chapter 6

The Quarry

Quarry

Your parents hadn’t returned home yet, not that you truly expected them too. The problem wasn’t that they weren’t home, it was that you had found yourself alone. No Richie or Beverly to distract you from the thoughts in your head. That made the night what you had come to call a clouded night. Clouded nights occurred when you felt isolated, when the strong bearings around you came crashing down. It was as if your mind was Pompeii, Italy and you couldn’t escape the lava. Just another thing beyond repair.

So tonight, you sat in front of the mirror combing out your hair as you practiced smiling. In the 10th grade when life had seemed bleak, you read about tricking your mind into feeling happiness. Smiling to yourself even when it hurt was one of those tricks.

“Everything is okay.” You thought aloud, as the comb practically ripped through your tresses. The smile still painfully plastered onto your face. “I am okay.” You didn’t know, nor understand why you felt such a despair, your life was shit but so was everyone else's. You were making yourself feel worse because now, not only did you feel like shit, but you also felt like shit for feeling like shit.

Everything's not okay. Your brain retorted. You’re not good for anything, you’re not good at anything. You smiled as you shook your head.

“I’m good at stuff, my friends love me.”

You’re pathetic you don’t deserve their love.

“I’m path-” You began but quickly stopped “I’m me.”

Are you? Your existence doesn’t even matter, you’ve been faking smiles for so long that you don’t know who you are. Your existence is based on keeping up a charade. All you are is the girl with the fake smile.

“My smile is pretty.”

Your smile is overused and played out.

“When I smile I make other people smile.”

They’re pitying you.

“No one has any reason to pity me.” Your eyebrows furrowed as you caught onto your own lie.

Henry. Bowers.

You got up, tired of the fight you were having with yourself. You skipped over to the record player, putting on Express Yourself by Madonna so loudly that the neighbors were probably hearing it.

“Don't go for second best, baby. Put your love to the test. You know, you know, you've got to make him express how he feels and maybe then you'll know your love is real.” You sung along loudly as you sat back down in front of your vanity mirror. If you couldn’t hear yourself think, then it was a job well done.

Or so you thought.

You blinked twice when your reflection began to smile. You felt your own lips with your fingers to see that they weren’t curved up in the slightest bit. You blinked again, before rubbing your eyes. The reflection was the same.

“Okay, no, what the fuck?” You got up from looking at the mirror and turned to go to your window. You pulled it up. “Richard!” You yelled out, “Richard Tozier this isn’t funny!” There was no response, causing your stomach to sink. “Richie! If you’re playing this as some mean prank, I’m going to be fucking livid dude.” Still nothing. “Beverly?” You tried again. No one was there, this wasn’t a prank. Giving you only one other option, you had finally gone off your rocker. You thought about that one time in 10th when Richie convinced you to take a hit off his blunt. You’d been opposed but once he called you a coward you gave in. You’d choked for about 5 minutes not used to the feeling of smoke going down your throat. When Eddie had realized what you’d done he scolded you and told you about all the long-term effects of cannabis. Was one of those seeing mirror people? You couldn’t remember.

“They don’t care enough about you to bother you with silly pranks.” A voice that sounded very much like your own said. You jumped, slowly turning back around to stare at the mirror in shock. There was a you in there, a you that was talking and moving on its own. The eyes were soulless, the smile sinister. Is that what you looked like? “What?” The voice spoke again, but this time you were looking straight at it as the mouth moved. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Nope.” You said looking around your room. “Not today, not ever. I’ve seen A Nightmare on Elm Street, I know what happens.” You turned with shaking legs to exit but you, or the creepy mirror you, appeared directly in front of your room door. “Oh. Okay, I guess that’s fine.”

“Running from your problems again?”

“I’ve lost my damn mind.” Your voice quivered, and you moved to walk through what you believed was an astral-projection from the stress you had been taking on. But she was solid, very solid. Mirror girl cackled.

“Fucking coward, you can’t ever defend yourself can you.” You sat down on your bed, bringing your knees to your chest as your hands covered your ears.

“I’ve gone insane,” you closed your eyes tightly hoping that when you opened them everything would fade. You made a silent promise never to do Cannabis again because it was obviously still in your system after a year.

“You can still hear us (Y/N), we’re inside you head.” You started mumbling under your breath to try and drown out a situation you didn’t understand. The voice seemed to soak through your hands, and crawl itself inside your brain. “Useless.” It begun. “Waste of space.” You shuddered, your stomach turning in horror as claw like hands gripped your shoulders shaking you. You were sure blood was going to be drawn, if this was real that is. “Don’t hide from the truth. Don’t hide from yourself!” The voice was cackling, now shifting between your own and something much darker. “You’re nothing, not to the losers, not to your parents, not to Mike, not to Beverly, not to that boy Richie.” You looked up at the mention of Richie, which turned out to be a fatal mistake. You were decaying in front of yourself. You stood up again, in a rush of fear to try to escape but rotting hands gripped your shoulders. “And not to yourself.” A sob trapped itself in your throat, the mirror girl was right. “You’re a complete failure. Why do you think your parents leave so much? They can’t stand being around such a horrible person.” You nodded in agreement, something grabbing onto your strength to fight back and smothering it. “You antagonized Henry Bowers, you know that? That fucking short skirt, showing him all that skin.”

“It was my fault.”

“WHORE!” the voice yelled with a smile, much like the one you used every day it was fake. “Why are you sitting here on this bed crying, people have it worse than you. You’re nothing but a self-pitying piece of trash.”

“Trash.” Your darkest thoughts were before you, decaying, eating itself alive. But still managing to smile.

“You never do anything right, you can’t love, you can’t feel, you can’t save, you can’t smile.” The voice was straining. “You’re a mistake and so is your existence. Float (Y/N), Float.”

“Float?” You stared into the soulless white eyes before you. “Float.”

“Does it hurt? Do you hurt?” You nodded the pain that resonated inside of you suddenly becoming unbearable. “Then float (Y/N), float with us. You’re not important to anyone here, you won’t be missed.” Your chest heaved and cracked with the harsh words. Some part of you was screaming to run away from the truth, the terror the pain, but it was all hushed by the insistent need to join this imagery in floating.

“Float.”

“Yes (Y/N), Float.” The rest of mirror you decayed away, and in its place stood a large clown, chuckling with wide terrifying eyes. You were dazed, unfeeling, wanting to float. It was as though you were watching through another set of eyes, as if the fear you were feeling consumed every rationalized thought you may have had otherwise. “You’re afraid (Y/N).” The clown said. “I can taste it.”

“Float.”

“You’re afraid of yourself, you’re afraid of love, you’re afraid to feel.” The clown cackled, dancing happily with people who looked like your friends behind him. “I can take that fear (Y/N).” You had begun to nod as the clown opened his wide mouth, you were petrified by the things you heard. Nothing in your brain making sense, but then your eyes landed on a picture by your vanity mirror of you and Beverly, with Richie's fingers thrown behind you into bunny ears. You focused on that picture as the loud voices screamed to you about floating. You fell to your knees shaking with fear and confusion, but your eyes never left that photo.

“YOU’LL FLOAT (Y/N)!” The clown cackled angrily, but as soon as everything became too loud it was silent. There was no clown, no decaying version of yourself, no desire to float. There was nothing besides your mangled sobs, and the photo of you and your best friend and that boy you may have cared for a little too much.

You’d all taken your bikes, per the request of Billy. He said it would be more nostalgic to ride them together than to all separate into cars. You weren’t too fond of this idea, since it had been a while since your last bike ride, but you went along with it anyway. Your head was still spinning from the night before, and you had a rehearsed script in your head for what you would tell everyone when they asked you why you looked so tired.

“Oh, I had some last-minute science projects to work on.” You figured it was the only lie that would work, since you had at least one of the other losers in your other classes. Questions about the project would surely arise, but you would cover it with extra credit excuses. As you continued walking with your bike next to you, an arm shot out and grabbed your shoulder. You flinched, mouth dropping for a scream, but Bev showed herself before a sound could escape. The mirror images had really put all your senses on edge, even the rustling of the trees had your hairs standing.

“Beverly what the fu-”

“Shhh, look.” She pointed at where the boys all stood looking off the edge of the cliff, making an observation of how they were only wearing boxers. Your eyes probably lingered on Richie longer than they should have but you shook it off. “They’re arguing over who should jump first.” Her voice was so low you could barely hear her.

“And?”

“We should jump first.” Your teeth clenched together, your eyes growing to the size of Richie’s. “Come on,” She nudged you “Richie always says you’re the fun one.”

“No fucking way.” You shook your head.

“For me?” She pouted her bottom lip looking at you sadly. “You left me all alone in your house the other day, and I had nothing to do.”

“You chose to be there.” You commented rolling your eyes at her attempt to guilt you into jumping.

“I didn’t choose to be abandoned.”

“The puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work.” You tilted your bike, so it was leaning against a nearby tree.

“I won’t talk about you and Richie’s burning passionate love for a week.” She said smirking, her fingers crossed behind her back, so you couldn’t see. You squinted at her, considering this.

“2 weeks.”

“So, you admit you guys -”

“Starting now.” You silenced her with a shove of your pinky in her direction. She snickered devilishly one hand still behind her back as she intertwined her pinky with yours.

“Okay,” she nodded “now strip.” You grumbled under your breath, what a way to start your summer. Insane visions and jumping off a large cliff. Soon enough, your clothes were off, and you were neatly folding them with Bev doing the same besides you.

“You’re lucky I love you.” Your heart was beating at a million miles an hour, as you clenched and unclenched your fists.

“I am.” She said with a smile, taking your hand in hers and walking silently through the overbrush.

“Who's first?” Richie’s voice rung out.

“We’ll go.” Beverly said confidently, causing all the boys to turn around and stare at you two. You both began running hand in hand as you said the most curse words you could come up with inside of your head. Soon the edge was near, and you were both jumping, screaming at the top of your lungs. But when you broke the water and came back up for air, you were smiling ear to ear. A genuine smile was hardly ever seen on your face and not many could see the difference, but a Richie watched you from the top of the cliff he knew the image was permanently engrained in his brain. He would forever know what a real smile looked like on you.

“Sissies!” You yelled to the boys above you as you swam over to Beverly who had been separated from you on impact. “Okay, that was pretty amazing.” You threw an arm around her shoulders.

“Of course, it was.” She smiled back, but it faltered a moment later as she squinted at you. “You have some pretty serious bags under your eyes dude.”

“Stayed up late doing an extra credit science assignment.” You said without pause. Her eyes squinted more.

“You’re lyi-” The sound of someone else screaming cut her off and you were thankful for whoever had just jumped. Richie’s head of curls popped back up out of the water, and he smiled at you. His thoughts on the way you had looked when you’d just come up for air. You smiled back at him as the rest of the boys soon followed.

The chicken fighting had begun, Beverly was sitting on your shoulders and Eddie was on Bill's shoulders. You squeezed her knees reassuringly as she began slapping at Eddie. Eventually her hands came down hard enough on his chest and he fell over. Beverly jumped off you laughing so hard that she was doubled over clenching her stomach. You weren’t sure how fair the chicken fight was, given how much stronger Beverly was then most. Putting her against Mike may have been a better bet. That didn’t stop you from celebrating though.

“We Won!” You yelled splashing around. “First fight ever, and we beat you.” You jumped onto Beverly’s back ruffling her short hair. She laughed more before dropping you into the water. You flailed around before grabbing her ankles and causing her to sink farther. She squealed with laughter before helping you stand.

“Are you guys gonna kiss now or?” Richie asked causing you to roll your eyes.

“Richie, I think you rather kiss (Y/-)-”

“Beverly! You promised remember?” You screeched with squinted eyes.

“I had my fingers crossed behind my back.”

“Your asshole.” You said though you couldn’t help from smiling, that was your best friend after all.

“Is Richie the one who kept you up all night?” She continued and your face reddened as you sputtered. You didn’t see the boys behind staring at the way Richie was rubbing his neck.

“Chicken Fight!” You yelled suddenly at Bev, before spinning around to face the boys. “I challenge Bev to a chicken fight.”

“We just did that.” Eddie remarked as he gazed at you strangely.

“We can do it again.”

“Psh, fine, don’t be mad when I beat you.” You ignored her, looking to each of the boys.

“Richie, you’re with me.”

“I knew you were going to -”

“Ben!” Beverly stopped talking, looking at you with curiosity. She had expected you to pick Billy since she had feelings for him. “You’re with Bev.” You turned back around to face Bev whose eyebrows had gathered in confusion. “You’ll know later in life, trust me.”

Soon enough, you were on Richie's shoulders. His face was so red that you had asked him multiple times if he was sick, and wasn’t feeling up to holding you. He responded with he was fine each time. Across from you where Bev was on Ben's shoulders she was laughing so hard you worried she might fall off him. Beverly just couldn’t get enough of how gentle, and silent Tozier was being with you sitting on him. He was so conscious of his hands on your knees, not wanting to make the mistake of moving too far, his head was bent over so that he wouldn’t graze your chest by accident. He was just a mess when it came to you. Richard had never in his life, cared about what would make a girl comfortable. He had had many partners, girls of whom he used to try and forget his looming feeling for you with, but he had never cared about their comfortability. Richie was love struck. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Stan (who was acting as referee) yelled game on. Beverly was certainly stronger than you, so if it wasn’t for Richie’s tight grip on your knees you would have fallen off a long time ago. You were convinced you were going to fall off Richie but by some miracle, and Ben's imbalance you were able to knock Bev off Ben's shoulders. After a few seconds of being underwater Beverly’s head came back up.

“Loser!” You yelled at her, with a bright smile on your face. Time went on, you all continued to splash around in the water and at some point, Eddie had yelled about something brushing against his foot. Of course, it only ended up being a turtle, that Billy cradled in his hand with gentleness. You watched with a small smile as Beverly began to form a bond with your second family. She had a relationship with Richie since the 8th grade, but they were never super close. Now though, she was a part of your ragtag group of losers. The only one left to drag down with you was Michael, and that would be hard seeing as your friendship had been a secret for so long. You shook your head, clearing your mind of thoughts as Stan and Bill splashed you in the face with water, the battle beginning once again. If only the joy could last until you’d get home.

You and Beverly grew tired of playing around and she suggested sunbathing on a nearby rock. You obliged, wanting to dry off before you put your clothes on anyway. You laid side by side with Beverly as she rocked a pair of sunglasses she’d probably stolen from the store.

“They’re staring at you.” You whispered under your breath with your eyes tightly closed.

“I know.” She chuckled softly.

“It’s weird they’re like my brothers, I’ve never seen them fawn over a girl before.”

“They’re not all fawning over me.”

“I’m pretty sure they-”

“You’re definitely not 13 anymore (Y/N)!” Richie yelled, cutting you off and further proving Bev’s point. You felt your body heat up at the remark as you shook your head slightly, Richie was always flirting with you. It didn’t mean anything. Beverly tipped her glasses down her nose and chuckled at the expression on your face.

“Friends?”

“He’s just being Richie.”

Richie, although he was a natural flirt, meant those comments he always made. You were stunningly beautiful in his eyes and though Bev may have had different assets than you, to him it was nothing in comparison. He kept trying to tear his eyes away, and follow the other boys in their gawking at Beverly, but he couldn’t do it. Somehow it almost felt like cheating.

“D-dude she’s l-like our sister.” Bill said as he gave Richie a face and nudged him in the side. Richie’s stomach turned, that’s not how he saw you.

“You’ve had a fucking crush on her like twice already Bill,” Richie grumbled “Does that mean you’re into incest?”

“It was 2nd grade dude, lay off. It doesn’t count.” Stan said, though no one's eyes ever came off Beverly besides Richie’s.

“I don’t think it’s weird that Tozier has a crush on (Y/N).” Eddie soon said causing everyone to glance at him in surprise, though Richie had glanced at him because he referred to his feelings as a crush when it was much more than that. “They’ve always had a different relationship then we have with her.” Eddie shrugged at the looks he was getting. “She’s not as motherly with him as she is with us.”

“I might not know much,” Ben said suddenly, and Richie couldn't help but hope the poor kid got Beverly’s heart before Billy, “But they definitely don’t interact like siblings.” Something in Richie shifted, his heart soared. You didn’t treat him like the rest of the Losers, and the new kid had picked up on that. That was a step in the right direction for his 5-year plan.

“Don’t get me wrong though, (Y/N) can do better.” Eddie said after a silence, causing Richie to drag him under water as he squealed about bacteria. Stan and Bill, though still staring at Beverly began to ponder about what Richie had told them years ago. Was it possible for the Trashmouth to have intense feelings? Was it possible for you to feel them back? Gross.

TAGLIST!!!!!!!!!!

@mikoalabear @interstellar-brownies @apartofthelosersclub @glamouredbigby @abbytheabbott @the-queens-shadow @lunalife101 @distantsmiles @jakefromstatefarm143 @parisbautista @holycoldcoffee @glue-lamp @fightmebub @toziers-girl @firstfannypack @mysticalreadingnerd @imaginethis-st @snarkpunsandsarcasm @neonshock @mari-melancholy @teenwolf2424 @michaels-hands @mermaidfrommars

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crowdvscritic · 4 years

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round up // JUNE 20

The quarantine continues, and so does my insane level of film consumption. As you’ve probably discovered in your many a Zoom call, if you ask, “What’s new?” you usually get a, “Nothing much since we last talked.” Of course, these days no news means good news, so I’ll happily confirm the same is true here at Crowd vs. Critic. In this time of no movie theatres and few new releases, I’m catching up on a lot of classics and squeezing in a yoga sesh and reading in between. Perhaps these pop culture pieces that brought me joy in June will bring you some in July!

June Crowd-Pleasers

Yoga with Adriene

Adriene is all about finding what feels good, and her yoga videos have been helping me feel good during quarantine. I’m a big fan of browsing her YouTube playlist of 20-30 minute practices and picking whatever focus sounds like it would, well, feel good on my lunch break or when I wrap up my work day. If you’re looking for a way to stay active, destressed, or stretched out, Adriene’s (and her dog Benji’s) friendly videos have become my go-to.

The World According to Jeff Goldblum (2019- )

You know those people who can make anything interesting? Jeff Goldblum is the quintessence of that kind of person. Every episode of this Disney+ docuseries covers a broad topic that happens to intrigue him, including ice cream, tattoos, denim, RVs, and jewelry. While I don’t have many questions about ice cream, per se, I’m happy to just ride along on his trips all over the US to learn more about it. He finds niche communities, game changers, and new technology I suspect most won’t be familiar with, and he finds ways to get involved, a lá giving someone a Jurassic Park tattoo or getting custom grills made for his teeth. Truthfully, I don’t care much about what Goldblum chooses to explore as long as he’s stammering and sing-song-ing his way through as only he can.

Double Feature – Historical Action Flicks: The Quick and the Dead (1995) + Troy (2004)

I told you last month I’m working on the Western genre, and The Quick and the Dead (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10) is a ‘90s entry from Sam Raimi featuring a rare female lead (Sharon Stone), the babiest of Leo DiCaprios, an evil Gene Hackman, and an epic tournament of duels. If you’d prefer your adventure several thousand years back, Troy (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7/10) is a star-studded interpretation of The Iliad featuring a plethora of togas, romance, and epic battle scenes.

Double Feature – Corporate Espionage Thrillers: The Firm (1993) + Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

Two unassuming guys start jobs bright-eyed and leave jaded, one a fresh-out-of-law-school attorney and the other a quit-school-to-save-the-world CIA analyst. The Firm (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) is the critical winner of the pair, but Jack Ryan (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) is a more satisfying action movie than its Rotten Tomatoes score would suggest. (Another example of why we should take those numbers with a grain of salt.) Bonus: Another evil Gene Hackman in The Firm!

Double Feature – New Crime Comedies: The Lovebirds + My Spy (2020)

For a family movie night in, I recommend My Spy on Amazon Prime (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), which holds the honor of the last movie I watched in theatres before everything shut down. For date night in, I recommend The Lovebirds (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10), which made me ready for Kumail Nanjiani to become a superstar. You can read my full thoughts on this fun pair of laughs on ZekeFilm:

The Lovebirds

My Spy

Double Feature – Heist Thrillers: Now You See Me (2013) + Finding Steve McQueen (2019)

Close up magic hasn’t been as cool as Now You See Me(Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 8/10) since Houdini was escaping handcuffs. This, of course, has less to do with the magic shows and more to do with the Ocean’s Eleven/The Sting-style plot. I love a movie that pulls the wool over my eyes—Hollywood, this is your call to trick me more often! And who says “cool” like Steve McQueen? While I wouldn’t have minded another pass at the dialogue in Finding Steve McQueen (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), this based-on-a-true-story heist targeting President Nixon looks as cool as it is funny.

Double Feature – ‘80s Comedies: ¡Three Amigos! (1986) + Coming to America (1988)

The stars of early SNL & Friends make movies! Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Chevy Chase bring an alternative version of The Magnificent Seven with more jokes and fewer successful heroics, and I’m surprised at how most of it (save a few moments) has aged well. (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10) And who knows when we’ll get the sequel Coming 2 America that Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall were going to star in this year, but the original sweet and silly romantic comedy about a Prince looking for love is worth revisiting so we’re ready whenever it drops. (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10)

Cinematic Cities: New York by Christian Blauvelt (2019)

I started this Turner Classic Movies book to prep for my first visit to New York City in March...well, we all know what happened there. Kudos to this writer and the book designers who helped me wrap my head around how the neighborhoods are connected in this city and where to find famous movie locales, plus a few off the beaten path. Now I have more places I want to see and taste and experience when I finally go, but until then, I’ve got a list of movies to watch so my vacation doesn’t feel so far away.

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Summer Stock (1950)

The plot is hackneyed and the songs are hokey, but, gee, if I didn't spend the whole time wishing we had more movie stars like these clowns, Gene Kelly and Judy Garland. Twice I tried to wipe the smile off my face as Gene danced, and I just couldn't do it. The corners of my mouth twitched back up because a newspaper and squeaky floor were competing with Judy for his best dance partner! 70 years later this movie still won't let someone wipe a stupid grin off her face—three cheers for camera-magnetic movie stars! Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10

Air Force One (1997)

Sure, it’s Die Hard on a plane, but when you nail the formula this well, I think you get more than a pass. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

June Critic Picks

The Sting (1973)

I jumped out of chronological order in my Best Picture watch because I liked Butch and Sundance so much. It’s an unusual winner, but it holds up well. Scroll down a bit for two reviews, or catch ‘em here:

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Critic

Double Feature - World War II Action Dramas: Saving Private Ryan (1998) + Enemy at the Gates (2001)

Watching this pair back-to-back makes for a poignant compare and contrast of how the United States and Russia managed their campaigns during World War II (at least as they’re depicted here). In Saving Private Ryan (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10), Tom Hanks and Co. are trying to save one soldier just after D-Day; in Enemy at the Gates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Jude Law is a legendary sniper trying to give hope to his comrades. Compare how both armies fight against all odds, and contrast how one life matters to each country.

Anna Karenina (2012)

Joe Wright reunites with much of his Pride and Prejudice cast, and it’s as magical and beautiful as you’d hope. Keira Knightley stars as the tragic heroine alongside a stacked cast including Domnhall Gleeson, Jude Law, Matthew Macfayden, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Alicia Vikander. Fun fact: I just learned my grandfather calls Knightley “his girlfriend” because he thinks she’s so cute in Pride and Prejudice—no word yet on what he thought of the gorgeous gowns she wore in this movie, but my podcast co-host Kyla and I loved them in our most recent episode. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 10/10

Double Feature – Humphrey Bogart: The Maltese Falcon (1941) + Key Largo (1948)

Plenty has been written about how The Maltese Falcon (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10) is the epitome of Film Noir. Now that I’ve met Sam Spade and his femme fatale (Mary Astor) and watched their hunt for a McGuffin, I’ll just join in the chorus. And now that I’ve watched all of Bogie and Bacall’s features, I’m picking Dark Passage as my favorite and Key Largo (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) my second. In their last film together, she’s a war widow and he was a soldier who knew her husband. When he comes to visit her at her hotel in Key Largo, they end up stuck inside during a hurricane with gangsters—tension ensues.

Da 5 Bloods (2020)

While Spike Lee’s latest was a little long, it’s hard to know what to cut when its updated take on The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is so engrossing. Between the performances, the action, and the treasure hunt plot, it’s the rare Netflix original in which you won’t be tempted to look at your phone. I’m hoping Delroy Lindo is in the Oscars conversation come next April. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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Long Gone Summer (2020)

The summer of ’98 was big for me: My sister was born, my family moved to a new house, and I turned six with a Mulan-themed party. (Yes, I was the height of cool.) It was also the summer Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa faced off in a home run battle to beat Roger Maris’s regular season record, which even then I knew was a big deal. This ESPN 30 for 30 episode interviews McGwire, Sosa, and everybody in their orbit, but the real heart is the tribute it pays to St. Louis, Chicago, and baseball as a whole. I knew baseball films make me cry, and it turns out good baseball documentaries do, too.

Women In Music Pt. III by HAIM (2020)

The sisters are back with an album made for late-night driving with the windows down, and “I Know Alone” feels like a COVID anthem.

The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)

If you loved La La Land like I did and haven’t seen this musical, just get around to watching it already! From the colorful aesthetic to the melancholy plot structure, you can literally see Damien Chazelle’s inspiration for his modern musical. And if you can find an answer as to why the Academy found this film worthy of consideration at not one but two Oscars ceremonies, let me know—I’ve yet to solve that mystery. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 9/10

Double Feature – Gregory La Cava Class Comedies: My Man Godfrey (1936) + 5th Avenue Girl (1939)

I don’t think I’ve watched a film from the 1930s that isn’t about money on some level, and these two from director Gregory La Cava are no exception. In Godfrey (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Carole Lombard is a socialite who brings a homeless man in as their family’s new butler (William Powell), but there’s more to him than they know. in 5th Avenue (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10), Ginger Rogers befriends a lonely businessman (Walter Connolly), and though their relationship is platonic, that doesn’t mean he won’t hire her to make his philandering wife jealous. The moral of both films? Rich people be crazy, which is a great set up for comedy.

Also in June…

In addition to Anna Karenina, Kyla and teased our self-made millionaire hair and introduced our butler Max to discuss the ‘80s rom-com procedural Hart to Hart. If you enjoy detective shows, it’s a fun spin on the genre you may enjoy.

I watched and reviewed Best Picture winners The Sting (above) and the worst one I’ve watched yet, 1933’s Cavalcade. Read the Crowd and Critic reviews to know why it’s not worth your time.

I updated my Letterboxd with a list of all the movies in Cinematic Cities: New York, and my quarantine watch list is almost to 250.

Photo credits: Yoga With Adriene, HAIM. Cinematic Cities my own. All others IMDb.com.

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