#shit it’s bleh and yah ive been so fuckrd up by it anyway fuck their family they are a bunch of asses :) but still

[babiexiao]

i just need to rant abt smth so pls scroll because im embarrassed + it’s not important but i need to cry a bit haha

#very… very not good mentally idk #I’ve been obsessing over the fact I’m never going to fall in love or experience love the way everyone else will / does #mostly because i have been fucking traumatised by the shit that happened on my holiday with a potential idk husband igg?? arranged marriage #shit it’s bleh and yah ive been so fuckrd up by it anyway fuck their family they are a bunch of asses :) but still #idk what they told my dad but he didn’t… speak to me properly for the last two and a half months and that really hurt me even more hehehe #like it’s only been just over two weeks since he actually started talking to me properly rather than just saying two words to me #i hate it i don’t want to disappoint him again even though ik it wasn’t my fault in any way but i overthink and panic #and i just??? idk i don’t go out enough or have any friends irl it seems like so i never speak to males #fuck i don’t even know how to speak to males #let alone hang out with one or develop feelings I’m too scared to used dating apps and shit idkkk im really fucking upset about it #i just #really want to experience love #i want to fall in love and BE loved in the way that i imagine it to be like or the way I’ve seen people be loved but it’s… just #never going to happen and i’m sad #or to just have a crush that #would be so cute idk i'm never going to fucking experience that either lmfao #i just want.. love.. :/ #it’s so fucking minor too like this is the dumbest reason to cry over and be sad about but here i am lmfaooo very funny #sighs #idk #i feel like a failure too #idk what im doing with my life lol #fuck #anyways #let me go cry for a bit again lololol #iwatxh me regain sanity and regret every crying about this