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#so I told myself I'd do a 'quick drawing' to process it all before bed
fan-fantasies · 2 years
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Darkest before the Dawn
Please comment and reblog :)
Summary: you share your feelings and thoughts with Steve, hoping to take the weight of doubt off your shoulders. Of course, Steve is always there.
Pairing: steve harrington x reader
Warnings?: depression/ struggles with, thoughts of self harm, (does have a happy and fluffy ending), nudity (but no actual smut)
A/N: hello everyone! Thought I would post this quick little thing I wrote last night, I was having a hard night and this idea came to me. Writing and talking seem to help with my depression and I hope maybe this could help someone who’s having a bad day. I truly do hope you all enjoy! -Breezy
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"Hey Steve, you love me right?" You randomly questioned as the two of you cuddled in his bed.
"Of course I love you, why would you think I wouldn't?" He answered clearly confused as to your random question.
"I don't know, I just, I can't help but wonder if I'm not good enough for you." You admit, you'd always fought with your emotions, struggling with waves of depression and the emotional roller coaster that came with it.
You heard Steve move behind you before he pulled you back into his chest.
"You shouldn't think like that," he began, "if anything you're too good for me. I'm so incredibly lucky to have you in my life and I'm even more lucky that you gave me a chance." He spoke sweetly, it made your heart melt.
"You can tell me anything, you know that right?" He offered gently as he held you.
You nod, "of course, I just sometimes just can't help the thoughts that cloud my head. I just never thought that you'd ever love me. You were the King of Hawkins high, I was that awkward artist that sat by themselves drawing to perfect their craft. I mean, when you were with Nancy, I couldn't help but think of how you two were, I mean you're so handsome and she's so beautiful." You admit softly, "Then you two broke up and you asked me out at the end of our senior year, honestly, I always thought it was a dream because it just seemed too good to be true." You whisper trying to hide the wave of emotions that were now slapping you across the face.
Steve was silent for a moment, you assumed to process the information you had just thrown at him.
"I never knew you felt that way about me back then." He admitted, "you thought I was that handsome?" He joked trying to lighten the mood. It worked.
You giggled at his question, "of course I did, you were and still are, the full package. Especially after you stopped hanging around with Tommy and Carol. You weren't the douche jock anymore," you smile at the thought, "you were this caring guy, who also just happened to have the most amazing hair and a smile to die for." You moved a small bit out of his grip before turning to face him. His eyes filled with worry.
You smile softly, "this is something I've fought with for a long time Steve." You take a breath, "after moving here it was hard to keep the negative thoughts out of my head. I've spoken to a shrink a few times, they think the move made me depressed. Seeing that I had to start a new life and everything but I brushed it off. Why would I be depressed when there wasn't anything wrong?" You laid in silence for a little bit, "then things got worse, dark thoughts would sometimes appear not that I'd ever act upon them, especially now. I've never told anyone this, I've never wanted to tell anyone that I'd had thoughts of hurting myself but, ever since I met you Steve, you've grounded me. Anytime those thoughts appear I just remember that I have you." You hadn't noticed you were crying until Steve reached up to wipe a tear from your cheek.
"I-im sorry I just kinda threw this at you, I just couldn't hold it back anymore." You whimper out, not daring to look him in the eyes. It wasn't till he gently brought your gaze to meet his that you knew he truly understood.
He gave you a small, yet warm, smile, "thank you for sharing that with me. You have no reason to apologize." He began, "I'm glad you trust me. I want you to come to me anytime you feel like this, okay? I want to be your support, I love you. Never forget that." He leaned forward leaving a sweet kiss on your forehead. You scoot forward, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. You'd never felt so safe before.
"No, thank you." You whisper.
For the first time in a long time, the dark clouds that surrounded you vanished leaving just you and the love of your life, in pure happiness.
You hadn't realized you fell asleep until you woke up the next morning, Steve's arms wrapped snugly around your waist holding you back against his chest. Last night's events remained present in your head, it was a big step and you knew that. Acceptance and understanding was the first step to improvement and you knew Steve would be the best person to motivate you. You trusted him with your life.
You laid in his arms comfortably for what felt like hours before you felt him move. Slowly you feel him sit up, clearly trying not to wake you. When his eyes met yours he gave you a weak smile.
"Good morning, beautiful." His voice still full of sleep.
"Good morning, handsome." You reply with a smile as you slowly sit up. "Are you heading for a shower?" You ask curiously. He gave you a lazy nod as a response.
"Can I join you?"
It didn't take long for the two of you to get out of bed at your proposition, both shuffling to his bathroom and peeling off your sleepwear. The warm water was welcoming, waking your muscles almost immediately. You both stood under the stream of water, your back pressed up against his slightly hairy chest. His hands held your waist gently, almost like he had to reassure himself you were really there. His chin rested on your shoulder, glancing over at him you see his eyes are closed, he looked completely at ease. Carefully you ran your fingers through his lush hair, even when soaked with water his hair still looked fantastic. You saw a smile appear on his face as he sighed in happiness. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach, just seeing him so at ease made you feel so happy.
"I love you," he muttered against your neck before laying a few sweet kisses on your skin.
"I love you too,"
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he-said-irene · 3 years
Photo
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Thomas Hartnell in The Terror, episode 8
I just really like this shot, I don’t know what to say
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