#so i sometimes wish i was raised [insert religion here] because i wonder if it would have acted as a better compass for me

[sovcrcigns]

(   alexander  dreymon,  cis  man,  he / him   )     **     ♔     announcing  artem  romanov,  the  tsar  of  russia !  in  a  recent  portrait  they  seem  to  resemble  alexander  dreymon.  it  is  a  miracle  that  he  survived  the  last  five  years,  considering  they  are  astute,  cunning,  and  resolute.  i  hope  the  plague  has  not  changed  them.  they  are  for  working  with  the  other  kingdoms.

*  insert  matthew  mcconaughey  voice  here  *  alright  alright  alright !  s’up  angel faces ?  ‘tis  i,  your  friendly  neighbourhood  loser,  chrissie.  i’m  super  duper  excited  to  be  here !  it’s  been  a  few  months  since  i’ve  been  in  a  group  (  especially  a  period / historial  rp  )  so  pls  bear  with  me  while  i  get  my  groove  back  and  flesh  out  my  boy  artem,  but  if  you’d  like  to  plot  or  work  up  some  connections  etc  then  go  ahead  and  light  up  that  lil  grey  heart  n  i’ll  come  pester  you !  ♥️

F U N D A M E N T A L S .

full  name.  artem  gleb  romanov.

title.  tsar  of  russia.

current  age.  thirty-seven.

date  of  birth.  march  twenty-seventh.

gender  identity.  cis  male.

pronouns.  he / him.

nationality.  russia.

religion.  orthodox  russian.

birthplace.  moscow,  russia.

orientation.  heterosexual.

marital  status.  married.

religion.  orthodox  russian.

spoken  language(s).  fluent  in  russian,  german,  french,  and  english ;  conversational  in  turkish,  latin,  spanish,  and  italian.

C O N N E C T I O N S .

mother.  alexandra  romanova,  deceased.

father.  aleksey  romanov,  deceased.

sibling(s).  nikolai  romanov,  tatiana  romanova,  and  fyodor  romanov,  all  alive.

birth  order.  eldest ;  first  born  son.

significant  other.  the  tsarina.

child(ren).  none.

pet(s).  none.

P S Y C H O L O G Y .

positive  traits.  adept,  charming,  audacious,  determined,  resourceful.

negative  traits.  calculating,  hedonistic,  distant,  sarcastic,  volatile.

strengths.  efficient,  energetic,  self-confident,  strong-willed,  strategic  thinker,  charismatic,  inspiring.

weaknesses.  stubborn,  dominant,  intolerant,  impatient,  arrogant,  cold,  ruthless,  poor  handling  of  emotions.

fears.  letting  his  family  and  his  country  down.

secrets.  sometimes  he  wishes  he  hadn’t  been  the  first  born  son  of  house  romanov  that  way  he  wouldn’t  have  such  a  heavy  responsibility  resting  upon  his  shoulders.

sleeping  habits.  very  rarely  gets  a  full  nights  sleep.

eating  habits.  definitely  guilty  of  skipping  meals.

social  habits.  he’s  an  extravert,  partially  because  he  has  no  choice  but  to  be  this  way,  but  mostly  because  he  was  raised  to  be  noticed.

stressors.  none.

obsessions.  none.

addictions.  none.

how  others  view  him.  he  believes  others  might  view  him  as  a  fool,  a  disappointment ;  may  wonder  why  he  chose  to  marry  for  love,  thus  may  doubt  the  dedication  and  devotion  he  has  for  russia.

how  he  views  himself.  loyal,  determined,  committed  to  those  he  loves  and  to  his  country  and  people.

zodiac.  aries.

mbti.  entj.   (  extraverted,  intuitive,  thinking,  judging  )

alignment.  chaotic  neutral.

enneagram.  type  eight :  the  challenger.   (  the  powerful,  dominating  type / self-confident,  decisive,  wilful,  and  confrontational  )

temperament.  choleric.

intelligence  type.  interpersonal.

disorder(s).  insomnia.

addiction(s).  none.

vices.  lust,  greed,  wrath.

virtues.  temperance,  diligence,  humility. 

P H Y S I O L O G Y .

eye  colour.  blue.

hair  colour.  brown.

height.  six  feet.

weight.  seventy-eight  kg.

build.  of  tall  stature  with  evident  breadth  in  his  shoulders  and  defined  muscles.

scar(s).  a  few  small,  silvery  ones  littered  across  his  torso,  back  and  arms ;  a  more  noticeable  one  along  his  cheekbone  due  to  a  sword  fighting  accident  when  he  was  younger.

tattoo(s).  none.

glasses / contacts.  neither.

dominant  hand.  right-handed. 

handwriting.  surprisingly  neat  and  swirly  for  a  man.  his  father  was  a  stickler  for  ensuring  that  his  handwriting  was  both  aesthetically  pleasing  and  readable.

general  health.  fit  and  healthy ;  no  major  illnesses.

sexual  history.  he’s  had  a  few  lovers  in  his  life  time,  okay ?  but  he’s  100%  a  simp  for  his  wife.

medical  history.  has  suffered  a  few  minor  injuries  here  and  there  but  nothing  major  to  note.

mental  illnesses.  none.

allergies.  none.

P E R S O N A L I T Y .

can  sometimes  come  across  as  pig-headed  and  arrogant  but  he’s  just  firm  in  his  beliefs  and  opinions.

though  he  is  definitely  not  opposed  to  hearing  out  the  views  and  opinions  of  others,  especially  those  he  respects  and  values.

he’s  a  man  of  his  word ;  never  one  to  go  back  on  a  promise  or  oath  he’s  made.

loyalty  means  a  lot  to  him  so  if  he  gives  someone  his  trust  and  loyalty,  he  expects  exactly  the  same  in  return.

those  he  cares  for  is  unconditional  and  he  would  go  to  no  ends  to  ensure  their  safety  and  protection,  especially  his  family.

for  him,  his  family  and  his  country  are  placed  above  all  else ;  even  at  times  his  own  self.

favourite  coping  mechanism ?  isolation  babeyyy. 

it  could  be  said  that  what  you  see  of  him  is  exactly  what  he  wants  you  to  see. 

growing  up,  he  was  extremely  close  to  his  mother  and  his  adoration  for  her  knew  no  bounds. 

he  was  always  a  curious  child  who  yearned  to  obtain  an  understanding  of  everything  in  life,  and  to  gain  extensive  knowledge  on  every  subject  possible.

he’s  extremely  ambitious  and  has  always  felt  the  need  to  prove  himself,  especially  to  his  late  father.

he’s  highly  skilled  and  equally  as  intelligent  as  he  is  adept.

thus,  it  is  evident  in  his  choice  of  words  and  how  effortlessly  he  articulates  them  that  he  is  educated  and  literate  in  his  own  right.

he  speaks  with  confidence  and  is  never  one  to  shy  away  from  stating  his  opinion  even  if  it  differs  with  somebody  else's. 

at  times,  he  could  be  considered  slightly  outspoken  and  there  are  certain  occasions  where  his  blunt  and  sardonic  tongue  can  easily  become  mistaken  for  a  rude  and  unsympathetic  attitude,  but  this  is  far  from  the  truth.

however,  dare  to  cross  him  or  piss  him  off  and  prepare  to  feel  his  wrath.

he  has  a  hard  shell  but  a  soft  centre,  though  he’s  able  to  conceal  this  element  of  his  persona  easily  by  acting  under  the  façade  of  lacking  emotion.

while  this  evasive  attitude  can  make  him  seem  unfeeling,  when  he  cares  for  someone,  he  cares  deeply  and  they  will  see  an  entirely  polar  opposite  version  of  him ;  the  real  him  versus  the  persona  he  adopts  for  being  in  the  public  eye.

he  is  somewhat  thick-skinned  and  tough-hearted  but  in  spite  of  this,  he  generally  lacks  brutality  and  intensity  unless  called  for. 

at  all  times,  he’s  able  to  keep  his  composure  which  sometimes  makes  him  look  unbothered  even  if  underneath  he  is  seething.

if  provoked  enough  though,  he  will  show  no  mercy  and  never  struggle  in  using  his  combat  skills  to  defend  himself  and  his  family.

however,  he  will  only  take  physical  action  if  a  situation  is  dire  as  he  doesn’t  really  believe  in  violence  without  a  good  reason.

he’s  very  confident,  and  from  the  second  he  walks  into  a  room  he  takes  command  which  shows  through  his  stature  and  manner,  and  although  he  sometimes  tiptoes  that  fine  line  between  being  assertive  and  cocky,  he  isn’t  insufferable  in  his  self-confidence.

his  charisma  and  social  skills  are  some  of  his  most  potent  weapons  and  he  has  no  problem  using  them  to  manipulate  people  or  alter  situations  to  suit  him  and  his  needs.

though  he  never  acts  curt  or  offhand  and  remains  urbane  toward  people  which  makes  him  somewhat  likeable  even  in  the  face  of  him  screwing  you  over.

while  he  is  charming  and  amicable,  he  is  also  shrewd  and  volatile  at  times,  and  it  is  these  less  favourable  elements  that  he  prefers  to  shield  from  the  world. 

on  the  outside,  he  appears  poised  with  a  presence  that  never  fails  to  go  unnoticed,  all  the  while  he’s  able  to  maintain  the  veil  of  ambiguity  he  drapes  around  himself.

underneath  it  all,  he  has  a  big  heart  and  possesses  the  capacity  to  care  for  and  put  these  people  before  himself  though  he  keeps  his  compassionate,  softer  side  in  the  shadows  as  he  believes  it  may  display  weakness  and  give  others  ample  ammunition  to  exploit  his  achilles  heel.

H I S T O R Y .

tw  for  death     /     thirty-seven  years  ago,  on  a  snowy  morning,  the  cries  of  a  newborn  flooded  the  corridors  of  a  grand  palace.  henceforth,  born  into  the  world  was  the  first  child  —  and  son  —  of  house  romanov.  the  instant  he  opened  his  bright  eyes  to  the  world,  artem  was  a  cherished  and  adored  baby  boy.  his  mother  had  always  told  him  he  had  been  the  most  curious  of  her  children ;  that  the  instant  he  was  exposed  to  this  universe,  all  twinkling  blue  eyes  and  cheerful  smiles,  she  knew  he  would  be  destined  for  great  things.  in  the  eyes  of  the  tsarina,  he  was  first  and  foremost  her  beautiful  baby  boy.  in  the  eyes  of  the  tsar,  however,  he  was  the  future  heir  to  the  tsardom. 

       of  course,  his  father  loved  him  but  from  the  instant  that  artem  could  articulate  to  a  satisfactory  degree  and  began  to  comprehend  the  world  around  him,  the  tsar  made  sure  the  young  boy  understood  his  place  and  realised  the  responsibility  that  laid  upon  his  shoulders.  even  if  it  did  seem  there  existed  a  lifetime  ahead  of  him  until  he'd  have  to  step  up  and  replace  his  father.  the  tsar's  primary  concern  was  to  ensure  that  his  successor  was  primed  for  success  and  destined  for  brilliance.  sometimes  to  artem  it  felt  that  to  his  father  he  was  his  replacement  first  and  his  son  second.

      naturally,  all  eyes  had  been  on  the  boy  the  second  he  was  born.  the  staff,  the  people,  the  kingdom  —  they  were  all  waiting  with  bated  breath  to  see  how  young  artem's  story  would  unfold.  would  he  follow  his  father  to  the  latter ?  become  an  exact  replica  of  the  much-admired tsar ?  or  would  he  be  less  intense,  more  kind,  like  his  mother ?  of  course,  the  notion  of  him  one  day  paving  his  own  path  had  failed  to  cross  the  minds  of  them  all.  if  only  they  had  known  what  the  cards  held  for  their  future  tsar  ...     

      from  a  young  age,  artem  was  a  clever  and  capable  boy  —  his  keen  perception  proving  to  extremely  surpass  that  of  his  age.  able  to  charm  and  evoke  fondness  within  the  adults  who  frequented  the  palace,  he  was  always  regarded  as  a  well-mannered  and  promising  young  boy.  his  mother  had  always  seen  the  potential  in  him ;  a  potential  beyond  just  becoming  the  future  tsar.  he  was  brighter  than  most :  able  to  learn  new  things  swiftly  and  memorise  things  in  a  way  that  was  unusual  for  such  a  tender  age.  while  he  was  once  a  carefree  and  spirited  child,  this  soon  withered  away  as  he  knew  that  one  day  he'd  become  the  tsar  of  his  father's  country  —  of  his  country.  some  might  say  artem  had  to  grow  up  beyond  his  years ;  his  mature  approach  to  life  only  exacerbated  by  having  to  bear  the  weight  of  being  tsesarevich.

      with  such  heavy  expectations  for  his  future  duties  came  extensive  and,  oftentimes,  arduous  preparation.  always  eager  to  please  and  impress  his  father,  artem  was  more  than  willing  to  commit  himself  and  devote  his  every  waking  breath  to  training  and  working  toward  the  destiny  that  had  been  bestowed  on  him.  from  no  age,  he  was  a  determined  boy  with  a  laser-sharp  focus  —  bright  blue  eyes  always  honed  in  on  the  fate  that  lay  in  wait  before  him.  he  excelled  in  his  schooling,  always  keen  to  learn  as  much  as  his  brain  could  soak  up.  while  he  was  undoubtedly  intelligent  and  displayed  fitting  leadership  qualities,  he  was  also  talented  with  weaponry  and  in  battle ;  equally  as  proficient  in  academics  as  he  was  in  combat.  whether  he  had  intended  to  or  not,  his  father  put  tremendous  pressure  on  artem  to  excel,  to  be  the  best  version  of  himself,  to  push  himself  to  be  the  leader  that  he  knew  his  son  could  be  —  the  leader  that  he  would  be  confident  in  having  one  day  take  his  place  as  tsar.

      for  many  years  of  his  life,  artem  was  prepped  and  primed  to  be  a  self-disciplined,  formidable,  resolute  man  that  others  would  blindly  follow  onto  a  battlefield  and  vow  their  undying  loyalty  to.  and  he  became  just  that  —  growing  into  a  young  man  whose  bravery  and  courage  was  unmatched,  with  an  utter  strength  and  an  intellectual  capacity  second  to  none.  he  was  exactly  as  his  father  hoped  he  would  be.  exactly  how  his  tsar  needed  him  to  be.  after  years  upon  years  of  dedicating  himself  to  all  that  his  father  required  of  him,  the  ageing  tsar  looked  at  his  eldest  son  and  heir  with  an  admiring  glint  in  his  eye  and  a  proud  smile  on  his  face.  all  his  life,  artem  had  dreamed  of  having  his  father  look  at  him  with  pride.  even  when  the  strict  regime  he  was  under  seemed  too  much  to  bear,  it  was  that  very  moment  that  continued  to  spur  him  on.  and  to  this  day,  it's  a  moment  that  artem  continues  to  hold  dear  to  his  heart. 

      however,  his  father's  pride  seemed  to  falter  then  slowly  wilt  when  his  son  announced  that  he'd  fallen  in  love  with  a  woman  who  would  not  bring  about  any  political  alignment  for  the  tsardom.  regardless  of  the  dismay  of  his  family,  a  then  twenty-nine-year-old  artem  married  his  beloved  in  secrecy  to  assure  they  could  never  be  ripped  apart  —  that  their  marriage  could  never  be  revoked.  that  look  of  pride  his  father  had  worn  for  a   few  years  beforehand  was  swiftly  replaced  by  one  of  disappointment.  his  mother  was  concerned  and  feared  the  worst,  but  wanted  her  son  to  be  happy.  as  for  his  siblings,  he  could  only  believe  that  their  opinions  would  vary.  but  all  that  mattered  to  artem  was  his  wife  and  the  love  he  held  in  his  heart  for  her.  all  his  life  he'd  thought  his  devotion  for  russia  could  never  be  replaced  ...  until  she  came  along. 

      his  marriage  to  the  future  tsarina  provoked  disarray,  rendering  his  family  perturbed  and  unsettling  those  who  were  loyal  and  committed  to  both  the  romanov  house  and  his  future  position  within  russia.  this  amplified  tenfold  when  his  father  eventually  passed  away  and  his  succession  to  the  tsardom  was  imminent.  he  knew  his  people  were  anxious  and  displeased,  unsure  in  believing  that  they  could  place  their  trust  in  their  new  tsarina.  then,  to  add  fuel  to  the  fire,  the  plague  hit  and  threw  russia  and  its  people  into  further  chaos  and  disorder.  he'd  heard  whisperings  of  how  they  blamed  his  union  to  the  tsarina  for  the  famine  —  knew  that  some  believed  his  wife  was  to  blame.  of  course,  artem  paid  no  heed  to  the  concocted  speculations.  he  knew  his  people  felt  they  had  to  pin  blame  on  someone,  or  something,  for  the  disaster  that  had  befallen  them  and  he  knew  well  enough  that  the  liability  would  fall  on  his  head.

      it's  been  five  years  and  still,  he  knows  his  aptitude  as  tsar  falls  under  question  for  some ;  that,  still,  his  marriage  is  open  to  scrutiny  for  others.  he's  more  than  aware  of  how  he  is  perceived,  by  his  own  people  and  by  the  people  of  many  other  kingdoms  across  the  world.  they  believe  him  to  be  a  fool,  to  have  chosen  love  over  politics  and  his  heart  over  his  head ;  to  have  made  a  mistake  in  being  so  foolhardy  in  his  union.  regardless,  artem's  main  priority  is  to  restore  balance  and  order  to  the  country  he  long  ago  pledged  his  unwavering  loyalty  to.  he  wishes  to  bring  harmony  among  his  people  and  to  aid  in  their  growing  confidence  and  faith  in  the  tsarina.  and,  in  himself  and  his  allegiance  to  russia.  

#hi hello pls dont perceive me djsdkjs. #if u see spelling mistakes ....... #no u didnt jdsk. #1642hqintro

[queenofthefallenangels]

Think Twice Part 12

“I am going to make sure you never even think of touching my girl ever again. I am going to make sure you wish you never even met her.”

Seth Rollins X OC X Jon Moxley/ Dean Ambrose 

Rated: M

No warnings I think

Tag Team: @sithstatlander @xladyxfatex @awkward-teenaged-girl@steadysuitcasepurseranch @themansbliss@katelynirwinhemmingsclifordhood@strwbrryshrtckexo @bluedragonfly678 @luleelurah @mohawkmama @foreverthenerdprincess @aujenaeblaze @missnena2194 @suicidepanda07 @kelseyann2002 @princessminjikwon @nerdgirlsblog @multi-stan-kpop @REDZ0MBIE @thebornalpha @acon1120 @jonsmoxley @dayasvalkyrie @goddessofhardrock @1dluver13xx @vampirepixi @dietwrestling @ASKTVHEAD @moxslilangel2020 @chynagirl13 @new-zealand-chic @hotyeehawman @lavandernightmares 

A/N: I am such a horrible person and have been forgetting to update tags. Sorry, If you were waiting :(. I also should hopefully either tomorrow or Wednesday have some Mox smut out ;) And another Negan, sorry lol not sorry. 

Aria 

“You want to explain to me why I saw Jon leaving the apartment,” Alexa asked as we sat down at the table. She raised an eyebrow at me, a small smirk across her lips. 

I shrugged, blushing, “I told you I was going to talk to him.” “Yeah, on his lunch break. I got off early, but I didn’t get off that early.” 

“How did you get off early?” I asked her.

“Don’t change the subject, but I got off early to go check on you. Our boss was worried about you. She knew things had been rough.” 

I groaned softly. I lived in a city that seemed like it would be big, but sometimes it felt the same as a small town. Everyone knew each other's business and wasn’t scared to insert themselves. She must have known that Seth and I broke up again. “I am fine.” 

“Clearly after I saw Jon leaving the house. I was really worried about you going back to Seth.”  

“Why would you be worried about that?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow. 

“Girl,  when you told me that you had slept with Seth again, I thought I was going to die right there. I was for sure you would pick him again and never talk to Jon. You know, I haven’t ever seen you have feelings for anyone else.” She paused. “Besides Dean.” My heart stopped at the mention of his name. My memories of him are still fuzzy. The doctors said that is normal with memory loss. I had regained most of my memory back, but parts still fuzzed here and there. Dean was one of the big things that fuzzed. All I knew is what others had told me about him and why he wasn’t around anymore. “I don’t want to talk about him,” I said as I started to eat the food that had been brought out. 

“You never do. How are you going to remember him if you never talk about him?” Alexa sighed. 

“He doesn’t want me to remember him. He is probably getting plenty of girls wherever he went.” 

“That’s what Seth wants you to think. He told you lies so you wouldn’t go looking for those memories. If you don’t remember what a great guy he was to you, then you won’t remember that you can have better. If it wasn’t for me, Seth might have left out all the cheating too.”

Tears filled my eyes, “I know. I remember little things. Like, when Jon called me a kitten for the first time. I remembered that used to be Dean’s pet name for me. Only me, he would say.” I shook my head. “Someone else is probably his kitten. He is better off where he is. Wherever he is.” 

“He loved you, Aria. He thought he was doing what was best for leaving.” 

“Right after my dad died! I needed him the most. He didn’t even come to the hospital after that car hit me, Alexa. How does that sound like someone who loves them?” 

“Aria,” Alexa started, but I wasn’t having it. I didn’t want to listen to any more of this. I got up from my spot at the table and handed her a twenty. 

“Just take it,” I said before leaving. 

---

As I walked out of the restaurant, my phone started to buzz. I groaned as I looked at the caller ID. “You are seriously the last person I want to talk to right now.” I said into the phone. I heard movement behind me. I quickly whirled around. “And tell your goons to stop following me.” 

“Aria, I need to talk to you. You have been ignoring my calls and texts all week. I had to make sure that you were okay.” Seth sighed into the phone causing me to roll my eyes. What made him care all of a sudden? 

“So you send people to stalk me if you are so worried.” I snapped.  “Because I told you I needed a break.” I rubbed my face. I was already mad at Alexa for bringing up Dean when I told her I didn’t want to speak about him. I knew there was a reason that Seth didn’t want me to remember him, but maybe it was better I didn’t. 

“And I asked you, why you needed a break and you never told me why. You know I worry about you.” 

“Because,” I sighed. “I think you know why. Come on, Seth, you have people always watching me.” 

“Maybe I stopped them to give you some space as you asked. I am not all bad like you seem to think. I just want to know why we have sex one minute and the next you are pulling away from me? What’s going on, Aria? This isn’t like you. We always fight and then makeup. That was supposed to be the make-up part.  

“So that’s what you listen to. Maybe sex was the reason why. Maybe I realized I am sick of all this stupid back and forth we keep doing. If I took you back, would you even be faithful or would you just go back to your old ways?” I yelled into the phone. I paused taking a deep breath. “Just stop your goons from following me. I wanted a complete break from you.” I shook my head as I hung up the phone only to have him call me back. I turned my phone on silent as I walked back to my apartment. The restaurant wasn’t far from there. Once I got home, I sat down on the couch looking at my phone. I had tons of missed calls and texts from Seth. I rolled my eyes. I almost missed the one from Jon. 

Jon: Hey, sorry I had to catch up on a few things at work. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight. 

Aria: Of course. Where? 

 Jon

“You have to tell her the truth,” Alexa said into the phone. She had called about Aria’s recent outburst. 

“You and I both know how that’s going to go down. I can’t do that. You just told me how she felt about how about...well, me. I don’t think telling her after I just slept with her twice is a good idea. She isn’t going to like any of us. Plus, if she doesn’t run to Seth, who knows what will happen to her. Even if she does run to Seth, we are fucking screwed, because she won’t trust us.” “Did you ever plan on telling her the truth about who you were?”

“I honestly didn’t plan for any of this to happen,” I said running fingers through my hair as I began to pace. “To be honest, I really didn’t think it would get this far. I figured we could regain a friendship, but never ever did I think I would end up fucking her!” 

“Calm yourself and figure out how you are going to tell her the truth.” 

I sighed while hanging up the phone. How could I tell her the truth? It would kill her. She was better off never knowing the truth about who I was. I rubbed the back of my neck as I sent her a couple of texts.  

Jon: Okay, I will meet you outside your apartment and we can go chill at my place. 

Aria: Sounds good. I will go get ready now. :)

I groaned. Now, I had to figure out how to tell her. I walked towards my house. There was no way I could do this. She would hate me forever if she knew that I had lied to her and slept with her. It will look like that’s all I was using her for. When that wasn’t the truth. If that would have been the truth, I would have tried harder when I was still Dean not when I was just  Jon. 

I rummaged through a few things trying to find something. I had it. She wouldn’t believe me off the bat. She would probably think this is some sick joke or something. I had a picture of her that I had taken one day. One day when it was easier. 

--

“Stop, Dean.” She giggled as she tried to take the camera away from me. I pulled it back. 

“Just one picture. Come on you look great tonight.” I told her as I pointed the camera at her again. Aria wore a tight red dress that hugged her curves with her long blonde hair flowing down her back. Her hair curled at the ends.  I took the picture. She posed for a second before giggling. I caught it just at the right time. She was in between giggling and posing. I could see the light in her eye even in the old polaroid. 

“Where did you even find that thing? It has to be as old as you.” She teased. 

“It was my mom’s. I think it’s actually younger than me. She must have bought it not too long before she..” my speech drifted off. The camera was one of the last few things that I had left of her. When I was traveling from foster home to foster home than group home to group home, things got lost or stolen. Sometimes even the family you would stay with would take things. I was with a strict Catholic family for a bit and they were the worst about taking things if it didn’t fit into their religion. A Muslim girl I was with lost all her belongings when she stayed with her. They burned anything that was part of her religion because to them it was evil. I felt so bad for the poor girl. 

“Do you have any pictures that your mom took with that before she?” Aria asked. I could tell she was being cautious about how she asked things. 

I nodded. “Yeah, a couple from Christmas that year. I think that was the year that she got it. It must have been a present from my father or something.” 

She nodded smiling, “Come on, let’s take a picture together.” A smile grew across my lips and I nodded handing the camera to her. She wrapped her arm around me and did something I never would have thought she would do. She kissed my cheek gently. It took me off guard when she did it. Her lips were soft and gentle against my stubble on my cheek. It had to be rough across her lips. I never thought I would feel something like this. She created a warmth that was inside my soul. Something I thought that had died long ago when I lost my mother in a car accident.  

“Aria,” called Seth. His voice sounded harsh. “We are going to ber late what the hell do you think that you are doing?” Charles must have been breathing down his throat because Seth never sounded this rude with her. Or was there something I didn’t know? The way she flinched and handed me back the camera told me as much as I needed to know. I wished I didn’t have to know what went on between them. 

“Sorry, Seth.” She said as she fixed her dress running towards him. I sighed as I watched her run up to him and give him the same peck on the cheek. He wiped it away as soon as her lips left his cheek. I could see him saying something before pulling her away. 

--

I looked back down at the picture in my hand from that night. There was a couple more mixed in together. As I looked at more, something fell out from between them. It was a letter. The letter I had meant to give Aria. Just like I didn’t have the balls to tell her the truth about who I was. I didn’t know what it was about Aria, but she had my heart in one hand and my balls in the other. I was never nervous like this with anyone else, but her. I wish I knew what she had done to me. 

I walked towards her apartment still trying to figure out how I was going to say this. Alexa kept texting me telling me that its time to do this. It needs to be done. I never thought this was something that was ever going to need to be done. I don’t think she thought so either, but now it was the time apparently. I didn’t think so, but she was sure that it was. 

I sighed as I ringed her apartment. She answered it by coming down, a smile on her face. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail. She wore just a normal tee shirt and jean shorts with flip flops. Even in casual wear, she looked amazing. I held out my hand, “Shall we?” I asked.

She took my hand, “We shall.” Her smile was brighter when my hand touched hers. I could feel the electricity between us as soon as our hands meet. This only made it harder to tell her the truth.

#dean ambrose smut #dean ambrose fanfiction #dean ambrose #jon moxley #jon moxley smut #jon moxley fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #seth rollins #seth rollins smut #seth rollins fanfiction #seth rollins x oc #jon moxley x oc

[deepestuniversallove]

Selfship Positivity Day

So I heard that today is a day for some selfship positivity! I want to also thank a few people for tagging me in their posts!

I have joined the self-ship community on tumblr in early 2018. I have really started self-shipping when I was around 7 years old and fell in love with Bonkers D Bobcat, who was my first crush, but I promptly gave up on him when I saw that he had a crush on Fawn Deer in canon (as a kid I thought that canon was what was real, so....). I had a few minor crushes on a few other characters as well (like Johnny from S.O.S. Croco), but never actively self-shipped with them, I just found them really cool.

Then at 11 years old, I went to see the First Pokemon Movie and fell in love with Mewtwo at first sight. After Bonkers, he was the first character I actively started to self ship with, and he has been a great inspiration and help for me; I was raised in an emotionally abusive household, emotionally neglected, starved for affection that I never got. Plus my mother has narcissistic personality disorder and only sees me as a living plaything and extension of her - which this is no fun way to grow up. Add to this that I was pretty much the social outcast at school, and you would probably understand why I always had suicidal ideations, depression and eventually developed avoidant personality disorder. So yeah, seeing Mewtwo, neglected by the scientists who refused him warmth and him going against Giovanni... I wanted to be like Mewtwo, just as strong as him. Daydreaming of him in the evening was what kept me sane and gave me the feeling that at least someone loved me, even if he was fictional. Plus, through him, I learned about genetics and science and decided I wanna go into science (which led me to being a Biology PhD student today) - which led me into choosing Biology, Chemistry and English as my majors in our german school system.

I have always drawn the occasional self ship picture or sketch with Mewtwo, but back then, I mostly focused on shipping other pairings from other franchises. I came to the internet for the first time in 2005, when I joined Deviantart through other self shippers who had their sights on various Sonic characters and shipped their own OCs with them. In fact, I have made my own OC named Jamai Dark to ship her with Shadow the hedgehog.

The first picture with Mewtwo was one that I tried to trace from “Mewtwo Returns”. Though I still focused more on shipping other pairings and on the Sonic franchise. In any case, the Mewtwo artists back then were a huge inspiration for me.

My first fanchild with Mewtwo, Kunai, was posted online before I ever posted any of my selfship pictures, and even then, I avoided outright saying that she was supposed to be the daughter of me and Mewtwo because of the backlash I feared. I simply enjoyed watching the more daring artists who outright were able to profess their love for Mewtwo, which I didn’t have the courage for at first. My first other self shipper that I found was @desert-fairy-vixen, who had remained a loyal friend ever since I started out on Deviantart.

At 16, I became involved with a boy around my age and entered a relationship with him. He forbid me Mewtwo, stating that he wasn’t necessary any more, so I tearfully bid Mewtwo goodbye, writing him a poem as well as drawing one goodbye picture.

However, my relationship with my boyfriend was not that good, and without Mewtwo, I simply felt lost. My frist boyfriend belonged to a religious cult and was homeschooled; he was also heavily brainwashed that religion trumps over all, so I tried for years to reconcile his religion with my science, only finding that it was impossible. I have still stayed with this guy for 6 years, when he had started to control me even more with his abusive grip. I ended it with him then, and was heartbroken, feeling that I didn’t deserve Mewtwo after having left him to be with my boyfriend. So I couldn’t jump back into self shipping. Instead, I shipped certain pairings from the YuGiOh series, as well as Digimon, in the meantime. It was actually when I hit the Digimon stage that I started to self ship with Arukenimon. I also had a crush on Eridan Ampora.

In 2013, I had a dream in which Mewtwo fought and protected me from zombies. That was the point at which I decided that I want to be with Mewtwo again. Why deny myself this? Why hide?  And so I drew my first comic in which I tried to remember my past with Mewtwo, and this is how I met my first self shippers on Deviantart who also self shipped with Mewtwo. In fact, @sweetwhitechoco was one of the first I openly talked with when it came to Mewtwo. I have watched Lullaby-of-the-Lost and Kokoro-Tokoro from afar and didn’t dare to talk to them because they were out of my league, but seeing other people post self ship Mewtwo art made me want to do the same.

I only found out about the self shipping community on tumblr in 2017, after having had haters who told me that my self ship is vile and bestiality. Finding an entire community of self shippers was a blessing after having gone through such shit. I think I am still not over the fact that I have tried to give up Mewtwo when I came together with my abusive ex-boyfriend for the first time. Sometimes I wonder if Mewtwo would really want to be back together with me, or I feel unworthy of him. I can only hope that I may overcome this one day. Or it’s just a symptom of my AvPD, because I tend to push away those I love to not taint them with my imperfections.

In any case, onwards to the shippers I met on here!

@star-platinums-wife was one of the first self shippers, and through her and her followers, I got to know more self shippers. Though the concept of having a self shipping blog is what I have seen from @gamzeeismyboyfriend for the first time, and this was actually when I decided to post my selfship art on my blog too.

@asa-de-ouro is one of the best friends I could have hoped to find, and she is the mom friend for sure!

I also got to know @husband-of-lucoa, who is also a great friend and really loved by both Lucoa and Palutena! They both told me so!

@lightningsconsort Your love and devotion to your queen Lightning is such an inspiration, I wish you both many happy years together for the future!

@slyvivi has such a cute self ship with Necrozma, it is always a delight to see someone who also self ships with a Pokemon! You and Necrozma are so cute together, and I am sure that he sees you as the Light of his life. And @come-along-here-and-spin-with-me, you and Oracion are also such cuties together!

@lildreamysoul, you are an absolute Queen, and I kind of count you in as “above my league”; I love the ideas you have for self shipping! Making your own self ship mugs? A book with collected artworks? Acrylic charms? Like dang, you make me want to try this out as well!

@mrs-rock-light You reminded of the time when I found Zero so cool! :D I am glad that he found someone to be happy with in you! God knows after all his fights, he certainly deserves some happiness for a change!

@charles-self-inserts I am so honored that you wanted my self ship to be included with yours in a comission! ;__; thank you so so much for that!

@only-mewtwo Highfives! You and Mewtwo are so cute together!

@malt-tango :D I love all the discussions about details for fanfics that I can have with you, and I love your idea for my fanfics. It is thanks to you that I am now even attempting to write my self-insert more true to myself which I didn’t have the courage for before.

@plucky-belmondo AHH, you and Richter are so cute, and I love all the awesome designs that you made for your self-insert for Smash Bros! Amazing!!!

@goldenworldsabound  :D You, Spock, me and Mewtwo need to go out on a date together. :D

@rulersofthekoopakingdom You and Bowser are so cute! *_* <3 <3

I hope all of you had a great self ship positivity day! :D If I haven’t mentioned you in here, I am still probably watching you from afar and being too shy to say anything. ^^;; whoops.

#self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #self ship positivity