#some boy who is everything mac n charlie used to be so against as a person... n charlies so fucking hurt n betrayed

[cutemeat]

litrlly still hate how ive never seen enough talk abt how mac n dennis Clearly banged in the back office after Maureen kicks em out n they go back to the bar... Like..

dennis’ continual lack of ability to grasp the serious situation he’s in... he’s litrlly in a state of fuckin Afterglow rn dude. like it perfectly mirrors the ‘honeymoon’ phase type of behavior Maureen embodies in the beginning of this very ep....

AND THEN THIS??

LIKE WITH ALL THE AIR OF A MAN WHO JUST PISSED OFF HIS HUSBAND N THEY JUST MADE UP SO HES TRYIN NOT TO PUSH IT AGAIN..... PLEASE??

like this is not just my ‘Headcanon’ or whatever the shit... this is fucking Written Into The Show

(less coherent rambling.. now...)

im telling u... when Dennis talks abt ‘it was a little uncomfortable.. but im glad we got our heart to heart out of the way or whatever...’ HE WAS REFERRING TO SMTH THAT JUST HAPPENED BETWEEN HIM N MAC BETWEEN LAST NIGHT N THAT MORNING?? CUZ THEN HE HAS APPARENTLY BEEN FORGETTING ABT HIS DIVORCE WITH MAUREEN THRU THE NEXT HALF OF THAT SCENE???

its all abt how they bang n dennis thinks Thats enough for them to have been ‘made up’ now cuz thats how dennis has ALWAYS solved problems... but this time its different cuz theres real Emotion behind it now. like its dawning on them both that their previously seeming ‘friends w benefits’ situation was NOT just that cuz theres clearly an emotional conflict here thats going unacknowledged... like dude... then in S6 “Who Got Dee Pregnant?” with the whole thing abt Dennis getting mad at Mac cuz he thought they were gonna go in MATCHING COSTUMES (metaphor for their relationship being fixed aka back to how it was before in s4-pre “Macden Break Up”)... but Mac changes at the last minute, cuz then he makes things “emotional” in the first two eps of s6 so Dennis is mad cuz hes all like “mac messed up our good thing...” cuz hes repressed n forgotten the fact that--- its ALWAYS been emotional. ever since meeting mac in HS u kno dennis had a big fuckin crush but then something fucking traumatic happens that same year so Dennis just totally cuts himself off to cope n Mac doesnt understand so Macden become distant... then get close again by s4.. but just as things seem to be going back to how they were like when Macden first met in like 8th grade/HS whatever... close the way they were before... but then Macden Break Up happens... so Mac is having a similar emotional reaction he’d had when they were teenagers n Dennis started drawing away for no apparent reason (to Mac’s pov) n lashes out with all the Jesus Bullshit trying to hurt Dennis as bad as Mac’s feelin. dude its all soooo.. ITS SO

(ok That last part was all more actual HC shit LOL)

#macdennis #macden #this is why im like... macden needs no Arc of this shit.. #they litrlly have HAD it this entire time man #s6-s11?? thats the PEAK of macden drama come on #its ... man #the reason i just wanna see em back to that s4 peak 'we are horrible but so horrible Together <33' dynamic again is cuz like #theyve BEEN the toxic dysfunctional couple in the bg from 'Mac and Dennis Break Up' to s15 dude... #i wanna get my Manhunters Macdennis BACK !!!! :( #parker posts #man i dont blame charlie being as mad at mac as he is dude LOL i bet u charlie was feeling so neglected in his friendship w mac #cuz mac was so obsessed w dennis... thats why charlie gets even more sad n angry. #ITS THE SOMETHING IN THE WAY HIGH SCHOOL CHARLIE THING DUDE IM TELLIN YOUUUU #he was so sad n isolated... dude. :( #charlie hating love in general n pushing himself further away from it ... cuz he loved mac like a brother. n then mac goes n falls In Love w #some boy who is everything mac n charlie used to be so against as a person... n charlies so fucking hurt n betrayed #DUDE ITS. ok. ok okokokokk #fuck roller rink man i get- oh godddd #s16 give us the real flashback shit PLS #not literal flashback but-

[wayward-riana]

The Lost Silhouette | Part Two | Thomas Shelby

Summary: After Grace’s death, Tommy had closed his heart off but when he marries the new female detective of the Crime Investigation Department of Birmingham only for protection from the law, his cold exterior starts melting.

Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: Mentions of sadness. Brief cursing.

A/N: 'Gypsy' is a song by Fleetwood Mac. Let's pretend that it existed back in the 1920s. I just thought that it'd go so well with this chapter. I really hope you all genuinely enjoy this. I had a lot of fun writing this.

___________________________________________

Most nights Tommy likes to have Charlie beside him at night, while he's sleeping. Other nights, Charlie sleeps in his cot that is situated in his father's grand bedroom. Although, Y/N insisted that Charlie sleeps on her bed tonight, beside her. Tommy allowed it.

Now that he lays in his cold and lonely bed with a cigarette in his hand, he feels restless. Restless knowing that his boy isn't in the room with him. So, he throws on a loose shirt and marches towards Y/N's room.

As Tommy stands outside her door, he can hear a cry flowing out of the room. He slowly creaks the door open and relief washes through him when he sees Charlie.

Charlie clings onto Y/N's body as he buries his face in the crook of her neck. Tommy sees Y/N is sat on the bed, while she holds Charlie very gently against her and soothingly rubs his back.

So I'm back to the velvet underground

Back to the floor that I love

To a room with some lace and paper flowers

Back to the gypsy that I was

To the gypsy that I was

Tommy is taken aback by the sweet melody that flows out of Y/N's mouth. He is surprised by how sweet her voice is. But her voice also has an endearing rasp to it. Only voice that ever sounded good to him was Grace's. He never expected to appreciate anyone's voice after her's, let alone Y/N's.

The words that Y/N sung had stitched themselves like a thread, into his heart. The words take him back to Small Heath. They remind him of a much simpler time. They remind him of the happiness that he knew of, before the war. They remind him of the man he was. A man who knew how to laugh. A man who knew how to love life.

And it all comes down to you

Well, you know that it does, well

Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice

Oh and it lights up the night

And you see your gypsy

You see your gypsy

Did Thomas Shelby hope for a life without pain? Absolutely. But hope is not in his body, anymore. Hope is something he has thrown away, a long time ago. Pain has made him who he is and he doesn't know if it's for the best or not. Before all this, he had a God. A God that he said his prayers to but he lost that as well.

He lost everything. Fucking everything.

To the gypsy that remains

Her face says freedom, with a little fear

I have no fear

I have only love

And if I was a child

And the child was enough

Enough for me to love

Enough to love

If he gives Y/N a chance, will she end up dying too? If he loves her, will she be taken away from him too?

Doesn't matter. He won't let anyone in, anymore. He made that mistake once. Not again. Besides, he's content with what he has. Charlie.

Charlie is all he needs.

She is dancing away from you now

She was just a wish

She was just a wish

And her memory is all that is left for you now

You see your gypsy, oh

You see your gypsy

The tears stream down Tommy's face like raindrops on a cold-blurry window. He doesn't even bother wiping them away. He puts the cigarette up to his lips and inhales the toxic smoke, that brings him peace.

And it all comes down to you

Lightning strikes

Maybe once, maybe twice

I still see your bright eyes, bright eyes

Y/N wipes her own eyes as she finishes the song. She looks down and sees Charlie sleeping, oh, so peacefully. She smiles and presses a gentle kiss on his head, before she slowly puts him down on the bed. She covers him with a blanket and delicately runs her finger across his cheek while staring down at him, lovingly.

Tommy watches Y/N's every single movement. He realises that she truly loves his son and genuinely cares for him. It makes him feel happ - no - satisfied with his choice to bring her in.

The overwhelming smell of smoke hits Y/N. A smell that isn't found in her room, ever. She snaps her head and looks at the doorway to see Tommy leaning against the doorframe. With a cigarette in his hand, of course.

Instead of calling out to him to ask if he needed anything, she climbs out of bed, not wanting to wake up the sleeping child. She slowly approaches Tommy and holds her dressing gown tightly against her body.

"Tommy, did you need someth -"

She stops mid-sentence when she notices his tear-stained face. She also notices tears in the corners of his eyes.

Y/N instinctively reaches out to wipe a tear droplet that slowly rolls down his temple. He watches her intently, as she does. His skin is soft beneath her gentle fingertips. She quickly realises what she's doing and regains her composure.

"What's wrong, Tommy?" Genuine concern is etched all over her face as she questions him. "Is everything all right?"

"The song...that you sang. Where is it from?" He croaks out.

Embarrassment dawns upon her as she realises he's heard her sing. She bites her lip and stares at the ground.

This is so unlike the two of them.

Tommy is always very emotionless and composed, but here he stands, broken and tearful.

Y/N is always incredibly confident and quick-witted, but now she found herself unable to speak properly and is a mess under Tommy's stare.

"I wrote it." She admits, slowly looking up from the ground. She gazes into his beautifully broken blue eyes. He raises his eyebrows in surprise, clearly impressed with her skill that he never knew she had.

"It's good." He compliments.

She blushes and nods at him, not being able to trust her voice to thank him.

Tommy sighs and stands up straight.

"You must be tired. I'll let you rest." Tommy states.

"I'm really not tired. You can come in and...talk,"

Y/N stares up at him, expectantly.

"If you'd like." She adds.

He barely shrugs, "All right."

___________________________________________

"What is the meaning behind the song?" Tommy asks as he lights up another cigarette. "I mean, what does it mean to you?"

"In London, where I grew up, there was an area where only the gypsies lived. No one went there, and by no one I mean, the elites. But my parents always did. Even though, they were part of the upper class, they didn't care about status. They always interacted with them, and most of my best friends were gypsies. I practically grew up with them. So I refer to myself as 'the gypsy that I was' because it makes me feel more grounded. It reminds me of the people that I've known and the people that I grew up with. Also, to remind myself that the people I love are gone, but I am not. I'm still here.

My best friend, James, died in the war. He was a gypsy, too. I'd known him my entire life. We were supposed to get married after he returned but that never happened due to the war. My father also died. I didn't know how to cope with the losses. So I put my heart and soul in this song. My grief is buried beneath these words.

The velvet underground stands for the velvet carpet in my father's bedroom. The lace and paper flowers were what James's family's house was decorated with. So yeah, little things like that makes the song so significant to me. That's what it means to me, I guess. Love and grief."

Y/N immediately shuts up as she realises she has rambled on for so long.

"Were you ever able to let go of that grief?"

She didn't expect Tommy to ask such emotional questions. She opens her mouth but is unable to string words together. She sighs and thinks about her answer before finally she speaks.

"Yes, I was. It took me some time to come to terms with it, but I did. I had to remind myself that none of it was under my control. Death isn't something anyone of us can control. You never know when one of us will be gone. Tomorrow is never promised. We're living on a borrowed time. I was unable to live my life. I was numb. I felt like everything was over. But then I realised you shouldn't be upset over things that you cannot control. Then, I eventually accepted it and moved on with my life. It's not like I've let go of Papa and James. I've let go of the grief. Their memories are still with me. They always will be."

Tommy judged Y/N very quickly, when he first met her. He would've never guessed that she has gone through so much.

"I know losing your wife must've been really difficult for you and I also know that you blame yourself for it but as I said before, you shouldn't be upset over things that you cannot control."

Her doe E/C eyes stare into Tommy's blue ones. The strong emotions in her eyes makes him uneasy. Uneasy because he can't afford to feel again.

The pair had talked all night long and before they knew it, the sun was up. Y/N reminded herself, it was nothing just a tough night for Tommy and he needed someone to talk to. That's it.

However, deep down inside her, she hoped that this was a start of something. Maybe 'Shelby' won't just be a legal name, anymore. Maybe, it'll be the name she shares with someone she loves and who loves her back. Maybe, she'll finally feel like she is Mrs. Y/N Shelby. Maybe, she'll finally feel like she's Thomas Shelby's other half. Maybe, he'll finally realise that she is more than just a spare.

___________________________________________

I hope you all enjoyed part two. Part three will be up real soon so stay tuned. I really hope you all enjoyed this. R, xxx.

______________________________________

@sxperncturalimpala67 @lovemissyhoneybee

#thomas shelby fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby imagine #tommy shelby imagine

[40ozandsober]

Bottom of a Swimming Pool

ch 2; You Remind Me of Home

— A/N —

general tw + tw for m*lestation mention!! heavily implicated, with no direct details. be careful <3

— END OF A/N —

— Childhood Flashbacks: Age 13 —

When Charlie was 13, his mom was running out of money quickly. She wasn’t making enough from the men who would come visit their house every week and she just needed help paying the rent for a little bit. Because of this, Bonnie let her brother, Jack, rent out the guest bedroom in her house. Uncle Jack made Charlie uncomfortable and he found himself unable to sleep most nights, because he never knew if Jack was going to come to his room. Some nights Jack did, and those were the worst of all. Charlie tried telling his mom, but Bonnie didn’t listen, so Charlie was stuck.

Charlie didn’t know how to talk to Mac about it. He knew they were best friends and would help each other through everything, but he didn’t know how he was going to say the horrible things he had been through. All he told Mac was that he couldn’t handle sleeping at his house anymore and Mac immediately made an important decision.

“Mom, my friend Charlie is gonna start spending the night a lot. Is that okay?” Mac asked his mom one morning before school, even though she was drunk and probably wouldn’t even remember the conversation.

“I don’t give a shit,” Mrs. Mac mumbled, groaning. Mac took that as a yes and told Charlie the very same day that he could pack up some clothes, bring a toothbrush, and stay at his house as long as he wanted.

“Thanks, man. I just.. I don’t want to go home anymore. I can’t.” Charlie was tearing up, which automatically rubbed Mac the wrong way. He knew something was wrong at Charlie’s house, but he just couldn’t get Charlie to tell him what. He knew not to push the boy anymore and just accepted that he didn’t fully understand what was happening.

The next day, Charlie spent the night at Mac’s house. He stayed there for a week at a time typically, then spent a night at his own house so his mom didn’t get worried. This cycle repeated for a long time. The only downside to it was Charlie’s nightmares.

It took awhile for Mac to get used to the screaming, whimpering, and crying Charlie did during his sleep. Charlie would sob, wake Mac up yelling, and scream for hours sometimes. Mac didn’t know how to make it stop, but one morning he finally told Charlie about it waking him up some nights.

When Mac was making breakfast for the two of them, Charlie walked in and sat down. “Hey buddy. Can we talk?” Mac asked, which immediately made Charlie’s blood run cold. He was used to losing people in his life or being hurt by those he loved, but he never wanted Mac to be one of those people.

“Sure, did I do something?” Charlie stammered out, riddled with anxiety already.

“No, not at all. You’re good, bro. I just wanted to talk to you about your nightmares.” Mac explained. Somehow, that made Charlie even more anxious. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Mac what his uncle had done to him for many nights, but maybe it was time.

He started to reply to Mac, but Mac continued on. “You don’t have to tell me everything about them and what happens in them. You don’t even have to tell me why they happen. It’s okay, I understand how tough things can be. I just wanted to tell you that when you have them, if they wake you up and you can’t go back to sleep or feel scared and upset, wake me up. Please.”

Charlie didn’t really know what to say to that. Nobody had ever cared for him the way Mac cared for him, so this was uncharted territory for him. Instead of saying anything back, he just nodded his head. Mac knew what that meant from him, so he dropped the subject. They ate their breakfast, got ready for school, and got on the bus. Charlie prepared himself for the mean comments about his lack of self hygiene while Mac prepared himself to fight the kids being rude to his best friend. Just like every day.

All they ever needed was each other. Mac protected Charlie, Charlie protected Mac. They were the only people that mattered.

A few weeks after they had that conversation, Mac woke up by being shaken vigorously. Charlie was crying, more than Mac had ever seen. He was panting, like he couldn’t catch his breath, and Mac immediately jumped to protection mode.

“Charlie? Charlie, buddy. You’re okay. What’s wrong? What happened?” Mac rushed out, and Charlie tried to stop sobbing, tried being the key term. He just kept crying and shaking. Mac went to hug Charlie and hold him, and the boy backed away quickly. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Mac said softly, but Charlie shut him up by moving in closer.

“I need a hug. A Mac hug. That’s all.” Charlie sniffled. It was hard for him to accept physical affection, but he knew he could trust his best friend.

Mac didn’t even reply. He just wrapped his arms around Charlie and held tightly. Something was different about this hug. Something was softer about Charlie, warmer about Mac.

Mac moved his arms a little bit and laid back, letting Charlie relax and lay on him. One of Mac’s hands found its way in Charlie’s hair and played with it softly. It was weird. Mac thought Charlie’s hair would be oily and tough, but it was the exact opposite.

They laid like that for a little bit, until Charlie began to talk. “Can I tell you something? I think I’m ready to talk about it.” The boy asked Mac, to which Mac nodded his head softly.

Charlie spent the rest of the night recounting everything that had happened to him in his bedroom when his mom went to bed. Mac didn’t judge him and he didn’t accuse him of lying. He just sat there and listened, despite the fact that his blood was boiling at the idea of somebody hurting Charlie.

All Mac wanted to do was protect his favorite person in the whole world, and he hadn’t been doing that, but he was now, by not letting Charlie go home anymore. Charlie was safe. Mac was going to protect him and keep him safe from Jack, forever and always.

— End of Flashback: 29 Years Later —

Charlie woke up from a really terrible nightmare. He didn’t have them often anymore, but sometimes he couldn’t help but dream of things that had happened to him when he was younger. He knew he was safe from everything now, but God, sometimes the dreams were so realistic. Normally, he could pick one thing in the nightmares that was completely fake and different from real life, so he could separate himself from it entirely. The nightmare he had just had, though, was completely true to real life.

It had been a long time since he had had to call Mac about a nightmare, but this one was something he just couldn’t handle by himself. Of course, Mac answered the phone and immediately offered to use Dennis’s car to come pick him up, so they could hang out.

Less than half an hour later, Mac was at Charlie’s apartment. As soon as Charlie walked out his apartment and locked the door shut behind him, Mac engulfed him in a massive hug. Charlie’s body was tiny compared to Mac’s, so when they hugged, it made Charlie giggle a little, which Mac adored.

Neither of them really spoke about how they felt when they were together, because there was no need anymore. They both knew the truth about what was going on between them, but neither of them ever mentioned it.

Mac had finally come out and began to accept himself as gay, whereas Charlie had always known he liked men and women. It was hard for Charlie to be with either, especially sexually, because of his being transgender, but with Mac, it was different.

Mac drove them back to his apartment and they went into his room, laying down, finally able to relax. Charlie cuddled up against Mac, Mac’s arms wrapped around his waist.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, I’m tired of thinking about it. I just want to lie here with you.” Charlie responded, turning his body around to face Mac. He slowly moved his hand to Mac’s hair, kissing him on the forehead.

It had taken Mac awhile to be okay with kissing when they were sober. They still hadn’t gone any further than cuddling and kissing sometimes, but sometimes Mac thought about it. He knew he wanted Charlie, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready, especially to do anything while sober. Mac knew he was gay, he had known that his whole life, but it was taking longer for him to actually act on it.

Charlie understood that, of course. If anybody understood not being ready for romantic and physical affection, it was him. Neither of them pushed one another, and that was sort of what made it perfect. Regardless, they enjoyed their time together.

Mac held onto Charlie and kissed him softly, mumbling something under his breath.

“What was that?” Charlie asked.

“Nothin’. Mind your business.” Mac replied, smiling at his best friend. Charlie knew what Mac had said, but neither of them were willing to admit how they felt. “I love you” was too real to be said yet, and both of them understood that. The feeling was mutual, though. It had taken years for them to realize it fully, but they knew now.

They fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms. When Mac woke up, he made sure to be careful and not wake Charlie up. He went into the living room, where Dennis was already awake, watching TV.

“You guys need to stop fucking at our apartment,” Dennis chuckled, knowing it would piss Mac off. Mac hated how Dennis joked about their lives, but he couldn’t tell him that. He had gotten used to Dennis’s gross comments, but sometimes, it made him angry for Charlie.

He didn’t appreciate people mentioning sex about Charlie. It rubbed him the wrong way, but instead of getting mad, he just went and made breakfast.

Sometimes, Mac just wished Dennis would stop. Dennis seemed jealous of Charlie, almost, which made no sense to Mac. Because of his past with Den, he didn’t think he was even into him, but maybe that wasn’t true. Mac didn’t know. Maybe he just didn’t want to know.

He hated what he had done to Charlie in the past when it came to Dennis, so he didn’t think he even cared about what Den thought now. He just wanted to be happy with Charlie. That was all he really wanted from the world now. Dennis had messed up his relationship with Charlie in the past, but he’d never allow that to happen again.

Charlie had woken up and smiled at Mac who was busy making pancakes. Mac wasn’t the best cook, so many of the pancakes ended up burnt and in the trash, but Charlie enjoyed the thought that went into it. They ate their breakfast, then got ready for work.

Charlie kissed Mac one last time before they left the apartment, knowing they couldn’t do it again until they had left Paddy’s that night. Dennis might have made jokes about Charlie and Mac being together, but the two of them still hadn’t confirmed it to the gang. They didn't know how to fully tell the other three.

Of course, they all knew, just based off the longing looks that passed between Charlie and Mac at Paddy’s and when the gang worked on their numerous schemes, but the couple was afraid to fully come out and just say it. That would take awhile for them to admit, and it was tougher than they thought it would be.

Charlie hated having to hide it. He felt inadequate, but he knew it was a senseless fear of abandonment and betrayal that stemmed from his past that made him overthink it.

He never told Mac how it made him feel, because he didn’t want to push the love of his life away. He just glanced at Mac throughout the day, a glimmer of hope and absolute adoration in his eye. Then, when they were alone, they’d kiss and cuddle for hours on end, or until they had to be around others again. Maybe one day, they could be open about their relationship.

Charlie just stayed by Mac’s side and waited for that day to come. He would wait forever if he needed to, because Charlie knew what he wanted forever. All he wanted was Mac. It had always been Mac.

#charmac #iasip #mac iasip #macdennis #mac mcdonald #charlie kelly #trans!charlie #trans charlie kelly #its always sunny #its always sunny in philadelphia #40ozoffanfic