#something something wanderer giving acts of service as a means to feel useful pipeline to him giving because it is his way to love.

[alchemania]

Love Comes, Slowly. (Death Comes Faster.)

(Or, Furina falls ill, and Wanderer is confronted with the fact he cares a lot more than he realized.)

(He's got a name in this drabble too lads yippee!! He and Furina are close enough now he feels comfortable letting her call him by a name :] oh yeah and uh. This was not intended as shippy, if you were wondering, just to get that out of the way. It's platonic.)

“..ina. Furina!”

The white haired girl blinked owlishly, startled to attention. “Huh? What?”

“This is the third time I've called you,” Tetsuya frowned, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you daydreaming?” Furina flushed in answer, scratching the back of her neck.

“I've just been a little out of it today,” she muttered. That much was an understatement. She'd awaken with a fogginess in her head and a heaviness in her stomach that just hadn't gone away, and everything seemed to be processing twice as slowly, leaving her behind as the world kept moving. Was it always this warm, too??? Furina felt like she was baking, even for a place as warm as Sumeru, something felt off-

“Hey!”

Wanderer's hands grabbing her face snapped her to attention, and Furina instinctively leaned into them a little, comforted by how cool they were. In contrast, his pupils dilated a little - humans were always very warm in contrast to him, but Furina felt especially hot. “Are you sick?”

"I don't know…. maybe…?”

Tetsuya's eyes flashed with something unreadable, and he quickly took his companion by the hand, fear gripping his chest as much as he would deny it was there. “Well, we need to get you medical attention, then.”

“I'll be fine-”

“I know you will,” he asserted, “because we are GOING to get you looked at.” His tone left no room for arguments, and Furina stared at him hollowly before weakly nodding. She didn't understand why he was so vehement all of a sudden, but she didn't have much energy to be stubborn.

“Mkay…”

Tetsuya began to lead her through the city then, and she let herself be pulled along, slipping in and out of awareness as voices around her rose and fell like the tides. Very soon however, it was a struggle just to put one foot in front of the other, and Furina wobbled to a stop, a hand to her temple. Wanderer turned to her then, frowning. “What's wrong?”

“Tired,” she mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Achy, too…”

“We'll be to the clinic soon, just - we're going to get you some help,” he replied, and if she were fully coherent she'd notice his voice was slightly strained from barely concealed worry. “Come on. You can lean on me if you need to.” He seemed so far away, despite the fact he was right there, and Furina's legs buckled, too weak to support their owner's weight anymore. She crumpled to the ground, and Tetsuya froze, unable to move for a moment. And then the spell was broken, and he knelt by her side, frantic. “Furina!? Hey!! HEY!! Furina!!” With shaky hands, he took her pulse, relief flooding him when it came through strong and consistent.

It might not stay that way for long, though. You've seen this before.

Pushing that thought away, Tetsuya carefully wrapped one arm around Furina's back to support her and then scooped her up princess style - she was so small, and he noticed her cheeks were quite rosy, beads of sweat all over her brow.

..the fever's getting worse.

He had to hurry. He had to hurry.

Tetsuya swears he's never flown so fast before, everything whizzing by in a blur (and if his vision blurred for reasons other than his swiftness, no one needed to know). The moment he touches the ground again, he's racing towards one of the nurses, chest too hot and too cold all at once. “My friend collapsed,” (and it's startling, how easy it is now to call her that) “Help her. Please.” Furina was gently taken from his arms, and he lingered like a shadow as she was carefully placed in one of the beds, a cool cloth laid on her brow. “She gonna be alright?” Wanderer ventured, and his voice was so so small, expression more akin to someone centuries ago; someone who hadn't yet seen the depth of all the world's sorrows. One of the nurses turned and nodded, in reassurance.

“Her illness was caught early on, so she should be just fine. It's good you noticed quickly. She should be back to normal in a few days with rest, but you can spend the night if you'd like-”

“Absolutely.” He was not going to leave. No way in hell. Settling into a chair nearby, he tried to calm the storm in his chest, closing his eyes to clear his thoughts. The hours flew by, and eventually Wanderer sat up and gently shook Furina, to rouse her. “It's time for you to take your medicine. Come on.” Furina didn't move, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe, chills gripping him.

Oh.

Oh, god. God, please, no. Not again. Please, not again. He couldn't do this again.

“Hey,” Tetsuya called again, shaking the girl harder. “If this is a joke, it's not funny. You need to get up. They said you were going to get better, so you have to.” He'd made it in time this time, he'd - as soon as he could, he'd brought her here… so there was no reason that -

Tetsuya took Furina's hand, and to his horror, it was cold (like his) and limp. Just like - no, no no. This wasn't happening this could NOT be happening it couldn't!! “You can't just - leave me like this,” he managed, tears flooding his eyes. But she had. She had, and he didn't even get to say goodbye, and he couldn't breathe, sobs choking him. This time, he understood that death was a constant, that it would come and claim all humans eventually but-

...that didn't make it hurt any less, as much as he'd tried to deny it.

“Furina, come on, you're one of the only friends I have I - please don't leave me behind. Please - I'll do anything just wake up; wake up!”

I couldn't save you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

He can't stop crying. He's sprung a leak and he can't fix it and everything hurts so badly and a nurse is taking his hand and pulling him away and turning his face into her chest so he won't look, and he can't stop crying and he's begging her to do something, anything, but she can't. She knows that, and he knows it, too.

Furina was gone, and he couldn't do anything. No one could.

Tetsuya jolted awake, tears streaming down his cheeks, and gasped. Stars twinkled above, and he sat up after a split second of regaining his senses. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Then, Furina- getting up in a hurry, he raced to her side and shook her frantically, and to his immense relief, she stirred. Heterochromic eyes stared blankly at him, and she blinked sleepily. “Tetsuya…?? What - oogh!” He was squeezing her in a hug before she could process what was happening, tucking his head into her shoulder. “Oh….hey hey, it's okay,” Furina mumbled, patting his back weakly in reassurance. “M’just tired..why are you crying??”

“You're okay,” he barely managed, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go. “I had a dream and - no, it..it doesn't matter. It wasn't real. You're okay.” Wanderer's voice broke then, and he sobbed, relief overwhelming. “You can't leave me yet, okay? Not yet. Please. You're the best friend I ever had.”

“I'm going to get better, don't worry. They're taking good care of me here, and I'll be out in no time and - ….”

“What? What is it? What's wrong?”

“Nothing, just.. you said, I'm your friend-”

The young man froze, taken aback, and then eased up again, slowly nodding. “.. I did say that.”

“You mean it?”

“..Wouldn't say it if I didn't.”

Furina smiled, laying her head atop Wanderer's, and blue and white locks spilled into each other. “You're my friend too, yanno. Thank you for bringing me here when you did. I might be a lot worse off otherwise.”

“You don't have to thank me. I just - . . did what anybody would do.”

“Maybe, but I still want to thank you. Gotta make sure the people you love know they're appreciated.” Tetsuya stiffened at that, blinking rapidly. Oh god, she couldn't just - say things like that, he'd cry all over again and - he had to have misheard.

“You- …what?”

“You're my friend, and I love you,” Furina reasserted, and she said it so easily, like she was talking about the weather, like she was stating a fact of the world, and it shook him to his core.

“.. I - oh,” was all he could say, hot tears making their way down his face again. “Just. Just like that?”

“Just like that,” she nodded, and the tears fell faster. He loved her too, he realized - he wasn't quite sure the exact dimensions of it but he knew he cared for her as a friend would, wanted to stand by her side and defend her with everything he had. Still, it wasn't very easy to say that, so he hoped his actions spoke for themselves. She seemed to understand though, to his relief.

“..why?” Tetsuya finally ventured, because he did not understand. There were many things he did not understand, actually. What he did not expect was for her to answer his question with a question.

“Why not?”

“Why not? Because - …I mean, you've seen how I act.”

“Doesn't make you unlovable, yanno. You're prickly, yeah, but I mean. If love is conditional, it's not love at all. You care about me - the real me, and I care about you, flaws and all. And that's not gonna change. Okay?”

“...mm,” Wanderer managed, nodding once.

Just like that. Just because he was, he was cared for. Worldrocking, that.

They stayed like that for a long time, until one of the nurses came to take care of Furina, and soon after the girl fell asleep. Tetsuya watched how the nurse gently tucked her in and brushed her damp bangs out of her forehead, expression contemplative. Humans could be selfish, they could be deceptive, they could be cowardly - but they also cared about each other and they loved each other, too- and some of them had so, so much love to give, it was daunting. Here in one moment and gone the next but they loved so much and so deeply - and for a moment, he wondered if he could, too, love the world and everything in it or - most things. He didn't think so, but these days it did seem a little brighter than it had before. Maybe that was a sign he was changing, without realizing it.

He would think more about it later. For now, he simply held Furina's hand as she slept and leaned his head on the side of the bed, heart steady. They'd said she needed a few days to recuperate, and he would be here until then. She would be okay, she would be alright. There was nothing to fear anymore, and everything would be okay. He wasn't going to lose her - not for now, anyway.

..to love, and to be loved, was wonderful, he thought.

Maybe that was living.

..he could come to thrive in it.

#genshin impact #furina #wanderer #HI GUYS I'M BACK AGAIN YIPPEE #oh boy oh boy i love these guys so much im so ill over them i need them to interact in canon #but until then i will write my dream interactions #anyway uh my hc is wanderer gets very fussy when people get sick because yk. trauma. he's scared of them leaving him behind again aha! #i dab to hide my tears #but yeah he cares about furina very much she's wormed her way into his heart and he's like Oh No.......Oh Dear #i think furina loves very very deeply and it's easy for her to express that. she has a big heart #wanderer also loves deeply once like. you get past his walls but by god!! they're thick as hell. 400+ years of trauma is crazy bro #it's hard for him to say it verbally too so he expresses it through actions he cooks for his friends he looks out for their well-being #he takes note of things people like and then like. gives them those things; etc #something something wanderer giving acts of service as a means to feel useful pipeline to him giving because it is his way to love. #do you feel me. do you get it. am i making sense #aughhhhhhhhhghghghggh #he is just. a lot to me i love him #and i love furina #and they are gonna heal together and it will be better

[hedgiwithapen]

0 missed calls

for @mosylufanfic and Ciscoramonlovebot (update:5:18, missing opening added in) Cisco didn’t call.  Caitlin checked her phone absently, over and over, until Frost told her she was acting like a middleschooler waiting for her crush to  text back. She felt herself flushing and flipped her phone over, putting a stack of papers over it for good measure.  A minute later she checked it again. “Caity.” “I just, he  moved,  that’s--you call to let everyone know you arrived safe,” Caitlin defended. “Did he call while he was on the road trip? Or in Antarctica?” Caitlin chewed her lip. “ Not much but--- but service was bad, and he was really busy…” Frost sighed. ~ Cisco didn’t call.  Caitlin checked her email, her spam folder, answered every single telemarketer and robo-call just in case. “Caitlin?” Iris asked. “Everything ok?” “Uh, no, yeah, I mean…” She trailed off. “Oh, I have the results. On that test, for your article. It looks like--” she  scrambled for the printouts. “ whoever’s doing this isn’t a metahuman. They must be using tech, to make it seem like--” “Thanks,” Iris took the papers, glancing at them. “But you know that’s not what I meant. Contrary to what some people think, our lives don’t have to be just work.” Caitlin gave an elegant shrug. “I just… it’s been a week since he left and that’s… it’s just weird.” “Did you call?” “Him?” Caitlin asked. “I… he didn’t answer. I didn’t want to keep leaving messages. It was … it was late…” “I meant, did you call all the times you left,” Iris said gently. Caitlin shrank inwardly. “No,” she admitted. “Just give him time.”

~ Cisco didn’t call. Caitlin stared at the article, frowning as she read the comments. It was the usual internet noise: an argument over a tiny detail blown out of proportion , a metaphobe stirring up trouble,  fans of Iris praising the writing,  and of the Flash cheering the effort. “This isn’t right,” she said softly, scanning usernames and icons. “Uh, what?” Barry asked, sprawled on the couch with the remains of a 3 foot sandwich. “Iris did her fact checking, and she was there for most of it. What do you think she got wrong?” “Not that,” Caitlin shook her head, turning the tablet so Barry could see. “Caitlin. You’ve gotta learn not to read the comments.” “No, this,” She gave an angry sigh, flicking a finger to scroll back to the headline. “Flash defeats E-vile in Tech Team-up.” Barry frowned.  “Uh. That… is what you were calling him, right?” Caitlin stood, pacing. “ something’s wrong, see for yourself.” Barry took the tablet and speed-read through the comments. “I… ok, I must still have that concussion. What is it?  No one’s being mean about the name….” “I know! That’s the problem! It’s a terrible name, and cisco hasn’t so much as left a comment about it! Something isn’t right.” Barry scuffed a shoe along the floor. “Caitlin, he made his choice.  He doesn’t have to be part of this mess--and I can’t blame him… I miss him too, but-” “No! No buts! He’d never let me live this down.  I want you to take me to his new  apartment, now.” “If he wanted to see us, he wouldn’t have left,” Barry said, stopping her before she could interrupt. “ he asked for space. Let’s just… give it to him. Ok?” “Ok,” Caitlin said, but her heart wasn’t in it. ~ Cisco didn’t call, and Caitlin was sick of it. On the one occasion Barry had visited ARGUS to see if Ramsey was in any state to have a trial, he hadn’t even seen Cisco. If the engineer was avoiding them, Caitlin decided, he’d have to tell that to her face. She’d left, but she’d always said she was leaving for good, she hadn’t made it seem like--like-- well. She made up her mind. Getting to ARGUS on her own was less than convenient, but not impossible. She told the team she was off duty for a weekend, entrusting Allegra with the massive first aid kit, and took off. They were surprised to see her. “Is Cisc-- is Agent Ramon available?” she asked the agent at the security desk, signing her in. It felt foreign, being so formal. “No.” The agent did not elaborate, exchanging a glance with the Agent who’d met her at the door.  “What’s the nature of this visit?” “Oh, I’m here to check on Ramsey. Er, Dr. Rosso.” “Oh, Bloodwork. We could have sent over the latest files, saved you a trip. Flash drop you off, Dr. Snow?” “Uh, No,” she said. “I’d like to see Dr. Rosso.” “There’s no change since the last check in, you know.” “I know.” She’d read the scant report. “I just need to double check a, a new theory.” “Hmm. I hope you’ll let us in on that,” the agent sighed. “Fine. Visitor pass.” He handed the laminated card over it, and the first man nodded. “Well, follow me, and do not wander.” Caitlin nodded, feeling like a chastised kindergartener. She sent a quick text: I’m here, when’s your lunch break? I need to see you. There wasn’t even a ‘read’ indication.  ~ Ramsey had not changed. There was no light in his eyes as he smiled at her, dripping darkness in his containment cell, and asked how her friends had fared. She’d  tried to ignore the parts of her old friend she could almost still see, going through her mental checklist. The files had been accurate. His condition was… stable, for now. Leaving containment would speed up the progression, until he was… well, until Ramsey wasn’t anymore.  The thought hurt. “I’ve seen enough,” she told her ARGUS escort, blinking back tears. How was this her life? So many people gone, her heart full of open graves.  She didn’t wait for the agent to lead the way back through the doors into the main hallway, trying to get the sight of Ramsey out of her mind. “Wait, Dr. Snow,” the agent called out, and she froze in the doorway. She’d pushed open one of two doors, forgetting the one that led to the exit. She stepped back, releasing the door and  letting it swing shut in her face again. “Sorry,” she said, her voice thick. “I… I wasn’t thinking. Just turned around.” It was a lie, of course.  She worried the agent would be able to tell, that he’d see in the way her eyes went blue in anger, what she’d seen. But he merely walked with her back to the front hall. Caitlin swallowed bile, clamping down on Frost screaming in her mind. There were too many agents, with too many weapons. They’d be on her in a second if she tried to do anything without a plan. But she couldn’t get the image out of her mind. The container, the tiny prison cell smaller than a Pipeline box, labeled Subject 2, and Cisco standing in it, one bloody, bandaged hand pressed flat against the glass.

#dammit hedgi day 2021 #cisco ramon #Argus is so damn shady #Caitlin snow