#sorry my thought process works best when rambling - constant stream of thought can knock new things loose up there yk yk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stories-of-a-1000-flavours · 5 years

Text

a pair of idiots

Jared Padalecki x reader

Fluff

For the challenge by @thisismysecrethappyplace . Sorry it’s late!

The first time you met your neighbour you were shifting boxes into your new apartment. You were quite happy in your own world moving at your own speed while listening to some upbeat music. It was going to take all day but you could cope with that. You had the whole weekend to move in and an extensive playlist that had taken longer to compile than packing up your stuff.

That had been the plan anyway.

After only a few trips back and forth, and before you could even process what was going on, a giant, enthusiastic man was lifting twice as many boxes and cheerfully carrying them wherever you directed him. On the second trip up from the lobby you learnt he was called Jared and on the third trip you found out he lived on the floor above you. By the final trip you were tired enough that you wanted nothing more than to collapse on your couch and ignore the mountain of boxes. Unfortunately, the manners your mother had drilled into you had other plans and took over, so you smiled politely “Do you want a drink?"

"Although I should point out I have nothing to offer but water and I don't know where my glasses are yet … Although I could probably find them if you can wait.”

You were rambling, it was one of your two default settings: painfully shy and quiet or voicing your every thought no matter how random. Inside you were praying he would say no. Jared seemed a perfectly nice man but the idea of having to make conversation with a relative stranger terrified you. Spending the evening in your own company would be just fine.

“I'll pass on the water but why don't you come to my place for pizza, kind of a welcome to the building?”

You had dodged one potential disaster only to fall into a more awkward situation. You promptly switched from rambling to silent.

“Um….. “

“Great”

Unable to correct his assumption you watched as he opened an app, “What kind of pizza do you like?” Before you could answer that question he was tapping his screen and half out the door saying he would just get a few different ones.

Pizza wasn’t quite a disaster, you didn’t say more than a few sentences the whole evening but that didn’t seem to matter. Not only did Jared not seem to notice your shyness or perpetual embarrassment but he also managed to talk enough to fill any gaps when you were struggling to speak. Even when you were forced to admit you had never watched his show there was no uncomfortable silence. It made it a little easier to do the polite thing and reciprocate his offer by inviting him over for lunch the next weekend albeit while hoping his filming would run over and he would cancel.

It turned out that inviting him round was a huge mistake because after that lunch you never quite got rid of him. In fact, barely a few days went by without Jared stopping by your place or inviting you to his. It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy his company you just weren’t used to having a friend like that. One who would spontaneously want to hang out and take the time to check on you. You made a concentrated effort to be more open around him and as time went on you managed to talk more and join in the conversation rather than only reacting to what he said. It was slow going but you were making progress. Fortunately he was willing to be patient with you and gave you the time you needed to feel relaxed with him, dangerously this also led to you unleashing your habit of blurting out random trails of thought. Thankfully Jared didn't seem to mind your shyness or your unfiltered stream of consciousness. He didn’t seem to mind any of your quirky behaviours.

To his credit your increasing confidence was as much down to Jared as your own strength of will. Probably mostly down to him if you were honest. Jared was very perceptive and noticed whenever something made you uneasy. He never pushed you, unlike your family. On a few occasions when he invited you out with his friends he didn't seem to be offended by you saying no. He made you feel comfortable without doing anything but be himself. You could talk to him, joke around, sit in peaceful silence reading, watch movies, knock on his door without calling in advance. They sound simple things but you had never felt able to open yourself up like that to anyone, even people you had known your whole life.

You didn’t entirely understand how your friendship had developed. You were glad it had, but you couldn’t understand why Jared had spent so much time getting to know you and had been so patient with you. He had plenty of friends he could spend time with who would be more fun and less work. More than once you had wondered if it was all down to his general kind and caring nature more than any genuine affection. You tried to chalk those thoughts up to the constant stream of nagging whispers that questioned your worth.

Every so often there were days when those demons got the best of you and dragged you down. After accidentally stumbling into one of those days Jared took it upon himself to call a pyjama day whenever you admitted you felt like you were starting to drown. You would spend the day cuddled on the couch under blankets together doing whatever helped. There was usually a considerable amount of crying, some of it proper ugly crying, but Jared never once looked at you as if you were being silly or childish, he just had an endless supply of tissues. There was no one else on earth, except for your mother, that had seen you in that state and certainly no one that had been so devoted to helping you. When he was away and you felt that darkness creeping over you all you wanted was for him to come bounding through the door.

The first time Jared found you in a teary mess he had admitted to his own struggles. You couldn’t help but admire how open he was about it and it made it easier to talk to him about your own problems. It wasn’t until a few months later that he opened his door and you saw a man suffering. His hair was askew, his face grey and his eyes dull. It was as if someone had removed the battery from your friend and left him running on emergency power. He barely spoke and collapsed onto his couch as if he hardly registered you were there. That was the first time it was your turn to help him. You were never sure if anything you did made a difference but from then on Jared always called you when he felt it setting in.

By the time he finished work for the year you could safely say he was your best friend. He seemed to understand you and never seemed to mind if you weren’t up for talking or if you didn’t want to go out. When he invited you to the wrap party for his show you should have been pleased but instead it made you feel sick. You knew a few of his friends but being in a room full of strangers was not something that appealed to you. Being Jared though, he figured out how you felt without you saying anything and didn’t make you feel like an awful friend for not wanting to go. You said goodbye to him in your own way the next night watching three films of his choice with snack food of his choice until you both fell asleep on the couch.

*********

In many ways you were Jared's opposite; where he was boisterous you were calm, where he could socialise and talk for days, you could happily exist quietly in your own company. Being around each other pulled you both from your polar opposites to a middle ground. He could bring you out of yourself and you had taught him the joy of relaxing and embracing the quiet. You balanced each other, you fit together, you understood each other.

It was true that Jared had a lot of friends already, he was close to people he worked with and had gotten to know other people in the area. He found it easy to talk to people and had always found himself surrounded by friends. That didn’t mean he never felt alone and it certainly didn't mean he never felt like he wanted to withdraw from the world. He could empathise with you more than you might expect.

The first time he saw you he couldn't help but be drawn in by the adorable way you kept muttering to yourself, totally contained in your own world. In your shyness there was a self reliance he envied even if you couldn’t see it yourself. Although Jared found it easy to socialise he didn't always have the words he wanted. That's why he had launched in to help with your boxes rather than embarrass himself by stumbling over his words.

He saw the shyness but it didn't frustrate him or make him think you were weak. He saw the little glimpses of you that you let out and it only made him want to see more. He knew there were words unspoken in your head he just had to make you feel comfortable enough to speak them. When you did you only drew him in further. Your quietness hid a wicked sense of humour and you had a gentle caring nature that he wanted to protect. You were unpretentious, real and unaffected by the superficial industry he was surrounded by. It was refreshing and he found he craved your company more and more.

*********

You never said it but you officially hated Jared being on hiatus. It was selfish but entirely his fault. Until you met Jared you were used to being in your own company, but he bounced in and carved a (rather large) niche for himself in your life that sat conspicuously empty when he was away. You missed your daily catch-ups over coffee, late night hot chocolates and take out when he had been filming late, walks in the freezing weather, snowball fights, movie marathons, and occasional meals out when there was a special occasion. It didn’t help that the closer you were, the more your heart got involved, no matter how much you tried to tell it not to. Nothing good could come of you falling for your best friend.

From the first day Jared woke up in Texas his fingers itched to text you. He lasted till midday before he gave in and began sending you photos of his home, telling you about his holiday and really anything he thought you would like. You responded in kind and before long an epic text conversation had begun that never really stopped over the following weeks. Sure there were hours between messages sometimes and you didn't talk about anything significant but you were constantly in touch and Jared found himself waiting for each new message.

This didn't go unnoticed and between the smile each message brought to his face and the number of times he checked his phone his family guessed something was going on. The comments at home however, were gentle compared to what happened when he was at conventions. Jensen had picked up on his increasingly close friendship with you over the previous months and stepped up his teasing when he noticed Jared's fascination with his phone. Especially after he managed to steal it to nosy at who Jared was talking to so much.

At the other end however, you had formed quite a different impression and talked yourself into a different interpretation. With your usual lack of self-confidence you never thought Jared might be messaging so regularly because he missed you, instead you decided he was being kind, as he had been throughout your friendship. With each message he sent, a nagging voice would suggest that he must have better things to do while he was at home, better friends to spend time with. In those moments you convinced yourself you were exploiting his kindness and he was bound to become irritated with you. Of course rather than voice your concerns you simply retreated.

Somewhere in the Midwest, after a week when your messages had become less and less frequent, Jared pulled his phone from his pocket and checked it for any kind of notification.

"Seriously, put your damn phone down. That's the fourth time you've checked it in the past 30 minutes and the fourth time you've held up these photo ops."

As much as Jensen was enjoying teasing Jared about his apparent obsession with you the constant delays to everything they did was getting on his nerves. Jared mumbled a sorry and plastered his standard smile on his face. His heart wasn't really in it though. As much as he liked meeting the fans his mind was elsewhere. Luckily they had a break before the next panel.

"Do you think I should call y/n?"

"Will it stop you looking at your phone every 5 minutes?" Jensen sighed knowing there was no getting away from the topic.

"She might be busy"

"Then she won't answer. Call her or I am confiscating your phone till the end of the day".

Jared narrowed his eyes at Jensen before turning away trying to find a quiet space. He held his breath as he dialed your number and listened as it rang out. When your voicemail kicked in he let out his breath before hanging up.

Should he try again? Would that seem clingy? You would know he had tried to get in touch by his missed call. What would it mean if you didn't call back? He let his head fall back against the wall behind him. Having these doubts and questions was unusual for Jared and didn't help his anxiety. As much as he tried he couldn't stop his mind returning to you and your sudden withdrawal from his life.

Had he said something to upset you? Were you having a bad time? Had something happened to you? After eating a rushed lunch he checked his phone one last time before the panel began. Still nothing.

Catching the despondent look on his friend's face Jensen cocked an eyebrow questioning him. He had teased Jared and joked along with the rest of the team but he knew there was a fine line between Jared being able to cope with life and his anxiety and depression grabbing hold.

Jared held his hands up to stop the comment he thought was coming "I know, I know. I'm gonna give it to Cliff while we're out there".

"That's not what I was gonna say" Jensen responded more kindly than he had all weekend. "I was gonna say you should tell her how you feel rather than pretending you just want to be friends and tormenting yourself"

Jared didn't even try to deny it. Jensen knew him too well.”It's not that easy when I'm not even there. Besides I don't want to mess up our friendship”

Jensen clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder. “We've got some time off over the next few weeks, just fly up there and tell her. For all our sakes”

*********

You weren't ignoring Jared, but you had tried to slow your responses in an attempt to avoid overwhelming him. That and you were trying to save your heart some suffering by distancing yourself before you got hurt. It didn't seem to be working very well and you decided to throw yourself into work as a distraction.

The confidence Jared had helped you build had made it easier to get to know your colleagues and you had somehow been volunteered to lead a new project. Although it might be good for your career it also meant you were signed up for a 'Leaders Away Day' which no one seemed enthusiastic about and you were fairly sure might kill you. Your saving grace was that at least one good friend from work also had to attend and the pair of you agreed to stick together. To prove you were both 'team players' and enjoying ‘developing key leadership skills' you posted a series of selfies together from each task. About the only honest photos were a broad smile with the ice cream you had bought at the end of the day and the dinner you shared with your partner that evening to celebrate surviving the corporate bullshit.

*********

Checking your social media had become part of Jared's routine. Not in a creepy way, he told himself, but because you were friends. After the final panel of the day and over dinner with Jensen he found himself scrolling through your #awayday photos. He recognised the man with you as a work colleague but wasn't sure what your #awayday tag was about, although he decided (with no evidence whatsoever) that it meant the man had taken you away for the day.

“Dude you're not eating, what's up?” the frown on Jared's face was hard for Jensen to miss.

“You think this is a date?” Jared said without looking up.

“I'm flattered but I just don't see you that way”

“What?” Jared scowled “no I meant this” he passed his phone across the table

“um... Well they look like they're having fun. Who is he?”

“A friend from her work I think.”

“They're probably just hanging out then. You can't expect Y/n to just sit around and wait for you to get back”

“What about this…” Jared pointed to the screen “Look how he has his arm around her, and here, that's a nice restaurant, that's not just hanging out”

“But you go out for dinner with Y/n and you're just friends. Why don't you ask her about her day instead of guessing..” Jensen suggested before closing the app for his friend and forcing a change in conversation.

Hours later after too many beers and an increasing number of shots, Jared raised the topic yet again, opening the pictures and pointing out where he could see clues to a budding romance.

“I guess this is why Y/n hasn't been in touch as much”

“You could of course just ask her what's going on rather than making assumptions.” It was the same advice Jensen had been giving all evening.

“I'm an idiot. I should have known someone else would see how amazing she is”

“So tell her that, tell her how you feel.”

Jensen patted Jared on the back as he walked away to find a conversation that didn't keep circling back to you.

Jared was still drinking as he got the opinion of anyone who made the mistake of talking to him. Everyone gave him the same advice that Jensen had; to talk to you and tell you how he felt.. Taking a final shot for courage he pulled out his phone to call you.

Voicemail.

All three times.

Frustrated and worried he might lose the courage to be honest with you if he waited till morning Jared began to type out what he wanted to say.

*********

Sunday mornings for you meant sleeping in and not changing out of your pyjamas until you absolutely had to. This Sunday you failed at the first hurdle when you were woken by a loud banging on your door. A glance at your clock said it was 7 am.

You couldn't think of a good reason why anyone would wake you at 7 am on a Sunday so it was with some trepidation you peeked through the spyhole. You had expected maybe police or firemen, something hinting at the emergency that had pulled you from your sleep. You did not expect to see Jared looking exhausted and disheveled, and leaning on the wall opposite your door for support. By his side Jensen looked a little concerned but mostly impatient and tired.

In your shock at seeing the pair you seemed to lose the ability to speak, and as you opened your door your mind was trying to think of one plausible reason for why they might be there. For a moment nothing happened and there was no explanation from Jared for his sudden appearance. Instead he looked panic stricken as if until you opened your door he had forgotten where he was. Jensen was too exhausted to wait for his friend to get his shit together and offered a simplified narrative of how they came to be there.

Sometime in the early hours your friend had decided to book himself on the first early morning flight to Vancouver and had woken Jensen to deliver that news. Given Jared's inebriated state Jensen hadn't felt he could leave him to travel alone which is why he was tired and grumpy at your door. The explanation didn't do much to dull your surprise but it did kick you into action. After a little push from Jensen towards your door you took Jared by the hand and led him to the couch and sent Jensen home with a thousand apologies.

You were still confused by Jared's early morning trip and you didn't quite know how to ask about it. Jared was being uncharacteristically silent, although that was likely due to the fact he was embracing one hell of a hangover. That was at least one problem you knew how to tackle: some water and painkillers would be a good first step. Waiting for him to speak your heart seemed to be beating faster. There was a rebellious shimmer of hope that he had come specifically to see you. Your brain said you were being foolish, your heart didn't seem to care.

Jared could feel you watching him intently as he sipped the water. Why hadn't you said anything about last night and the messages he sent? Were you trying to let him down gently? Were you being kind and saving him the embarrassment? Deciding he would only get an answer by being direct Jared dodged the question and delayed the inevitable response by distracting you with an apology

"I'm so sorry about last night."

You tilted your head in confusion "What happened last night?"

Jared sighed remembering the state he had been in, "I was tired and I hadn't eaten much and I drank far too much and then when I called you I got your voicemail..."

"Oh sorry, my phone died yesterday, it's been charging overnight, I haven't looked at it yet"

The realisation that you hadn't read his messages hit Jared like a bucket of ice water. Maybe there was still hope to delete them before you saw.

"Oh… don't worry about it." he said quickly.

But you were curious about potential drunken voicemails, "Did you leave a message? Hang on let me grab my phone"

Before Jared could object or change the topic you were out of your seat and disappeared into your bedroom. Sinking a little further into your couch Jared contemplated making a run for the door. All his courage from the night before had evaporated leaving behind the doubts that had plagued him since he left Vancouver. He probably shouldn't have spent most of the flight reading the messages over and over while trying to anticipate your response.

When your phone powered up the number of message tones initially made you wonder if it had been damaged during one of the many thrilling activities of the away day. After a couple of jokey messages from your work colleague about aches and bruises you noticed how many had come through from Jared. You began reading them as you walked back to the couch.

[23:34] Hi you look really good in those photos and happy.

[23:37] I mean you always look nicep i@

[23:49] I don't mean you look just nice but you're pretty much my best friend and you must have noticed how I

[23:51] canton take my eyesight off your apology for not

[23:56] Sorry I hit too many buttons and it went. My words won't work or it's my phone. I think you look beautiful in the photos but you do everytime I see you. Even in my head.

You hesitated mid step as you scrolled through the messages. You had expected funny drunk over-excited puppy Jared texts. Not this. Was it a joke? Did he mean to send them to you?

[00:02] Because I think about you y'know. I kinda can't stop. And we're friends you know that and maybe he makes you happy but I could too if you give me a chance

[00:08]I know I get too loud and talk too much and behave like a kid and Im noy even there half the year and I'm not great at talking about important stuff

[00:09] but with you I can talk about anything and I don't have to worry about anything and I can be me around you. The real me with no pretending.you're kinda magic like that

[00:10] don't love him please

[00:11] Wait j wants to talk

[00:13] Hi, this is Jensen, I'm taking Jared's phone away now because he's drunk and that's not how this conversation should happen.I’ll try and get him to call you tomorrow.

Something in your brain refused to believe the texts were meant for you. That's why Jared was currently avoiding looking at you. He was embarrassed because he sent them to the wrong person… right?

You read them again still paused halfway on your return to the couch. You could handle this, you told yourself. Laugh along when he says it was a mistake. Don't make it awkward.

Trying not to appear completely flabbergasted by what you had just read you casually sat down next to your friend. You could almost feel him cringe when you put your phone on the coffee table.

“Y/n I'm so sorry. I drank way too much”

That was the confirmation you needed.

“So you didn't mean to send them to me?” your voice was so quiet it was a minor miracle he heard you.

“God no…” Jared shook his head as he began to explain.

“Oh”

“I mean yes…”

“What?”

“I mean I shouldn't have told you like that but… Yes, I did mean what I said”

“You are beautiful, And I can't stop thinking about you, And God I've missed you every day since I left, And I want to be with you, Good times and bad, And I have wanted to tell you for so long, But then I saw your pictures from your date and…”

You grabbed his hands in an attempt to stop the flow of words and confessions tumbling from his mouth.

“Wait… . What date?”

“Yesterday, with the guy from your work.”

You couldn’t help smile despite his defeated tone. “That wasn’t a date. That was a nightmare leadership course”

Although Jared brightened up at the news his embarrassment took over and he buried his head in his hands.

You gently pulled his hands away “I’m kinda glad you thought it was a date though ...why didn't you say how you felt earlier… like before you left the country maybe?”

Jared sighed deciding his embarrassment was at maximum anyway “When you first moved in and I asked you out with the crew and you said no i thought I didn't stand a chance so I figured I'd stick with being friends and I was just kind of hoping that you'd… y'know… fall in love with me” he added a half laugh trying to sound as if he was joking in case you told him he was an idiot for thinking that might happen.

“You’re an idiot”

Jared’s crestfallen expression made you rush to explain, “I don’t even remember you asking me out so I can’t say why I said no, if I did i’m an idiot too. But you should have told me how you felt sooner, you know there’s no way i’d have the strength to.”

Not entirely trusting the hopeful feeling bubbling inside him Jared tentatively pushed you to say more. “So….”

“So… your plan might not have been brilliant” you gifted him one of those wide smiles he loved so much “but I think it worked”

The kiss that followed wasn’t the most romantic of the many that came after in your relationship; Jared was still incredibly hungover and you had just crawled out of bed on a Sunday morning, but for the pair of idiots that had taken far too long to be honest, it was perfect.

#jared padalecki x reader #jared padalecki x you #spn #mine #supernatural one shot #supernatural #rpf

36 notes · View notes