#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw

[an-theduckin]

Wait shit people might actually care about me

#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw #hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that! #mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha #but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit #texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text #cuz she sent three seperate texts) #and i was just. so flabbergasted at that #i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone #i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that #i thought theyd just be indifferent to it #also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears #and i just. wow. #people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me #ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way #i saw myself #really and truly i love you guys so much #even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock #anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better #life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now #at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity #thank you all for everything :') #man i need a hug rn lmao #tw vent #tw sui implied #tw sui ideation #tw self loathing #tw self destructive behavior #<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore #if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd #love youu <33