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#stan mayor lewis hate
shhh-secret-time · 24 days
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To be honest, stardew valley has me in such a chokehold. It always has, even before the 1.6.
In such a way that my brain wants to smash my hyperfixation into it. So late at night I'll be awake thinking of this stardew/south park mashup.
Call that bad boy Star Park AU.
But no brain! Bad! We already have too much going on! You have a Secret Soulmate AU. Fantasy AU, A Cowboy AU story staring Kenny that's still in the outline phase, and these one shots!
(Look at the tags to watch me descent into madness)
#like C'mon#it would be so cute and wholesome#ya know#everything south park isn't#its not my fault I think about me and my friends ocs starting a little farm together#i got one friend I rp with#we smash everything into our stardew rp#it ain't even really stardew besides like the layout of the town#I could write something like that up#like Stan and his family are already “farmers”#the heart event where he tells you he fucking hates it#but next heart event he confesses he's starting to associate farming with you#and now...maybe its not so bad?#COME ON#Kenny taking Karen to see your animals and falling in love with the way you're so gentle with her#Kyle finding you passed out in the mines and scolding you for being careless#but he's patching you up while he does it!!!?#Cartman demanding you bring him crops from your farm because#“everyone elses crops taste like dirt and ball sweat! at least I can stomach yours.”#(its the sweetest thing hes ever said tbh)#tweek having his little coffee shop set up there#he gets away from his parents and moves out to the valley because its quiet!#Craig moves out there to study the stars because they're so clear he can almost see all of them without a telescope#Clyde is JUST Alex and you cant change my mind#after the death of his mother he goes to live with his grandparents#Bebe is like a mix of Haley and Emily!#her events would be you helping her get her outfit designs off the ground and using her photography skills to have you model them#Wendy's whole thing would her being the mayors assistant but over heart events you make her believe in herself#and she becomes mayor; fuck you lewis you old fuck#shhh its a secret
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treatian · 3 years
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The Chronicles of the Dark One: Breaking the Curse
Chapter 34: Criminal Organizations
It was a perfect plan. A brilliant plan. But it was a double-frame job, and that made it a complex plan. He had to make it look like Mary Margaret was behind Kathryn Nolan's disappearance, on the surface, at least. But when it came right down to it, he had to make it something deeper. He intended to make Regina look like she was responsible for framing Mary Margaret. It was complex on the whole, but when he sat down to think it through it, piece by piece, it at least seemed much simpler. But still, expensive.
There was work to be done with this, work he couldn't be seen doing, work he couldn't actually do physically because he might be too slow, or it might arouse suspicions. So, he hired Dove's cousins, damn near all of Dove's cousins. It felt like every last one of them had a job to do or was reporting to him. Marc was already watching David. He'd put Stan on watching Emma Swan while Dove assisted him with Kathryn. He finally broke down and tasked another cousin to watch Mary Margaret and one to keep an eye on Regina from a distance and another for Sidney Glass, first because he wasn't going to make the mistake of underestimating him again and second because he had plans for him later. Hell, he'd even gotten Dove to put his old friend Will Scarlet on the payroll. He'd asked him to stick to his job at Granny's as a new dishwasher a little more reliably for a while. Everything happened at Granny's; he wanted eyes and ears there too. If any of them suspected what they were participating in, they didn't question it. It was expensive, but it would be worth it if he could pull this off with the desired results.
He employed two more to go to Regina Mill's residence, where he told them to retrieve a shovel. They'd returned with one that was large and bulky, probably not the right choice for a woman, but he'd work with what he had. When they returned, he sent them to Mary Margaret's apartment with a skeleton key he'd gotten "on loan" from Regina earlier in the day and a hunting knife he'd had in the back of his shop collecting dust since the beginning of the Curse. It was likely one of Graham's, from the other world, but he'd never claim it now. And because he'd already seen to any evidence it had ever been in his shop, no one would ever trace it to him either. "Use this to get into Mary Margaret's apartment," he explained, handing the key over, "and be sure to hide this," he wrapped the knife in a cloth and gave it over as well, "somewhere in the apartment that is neither too obvious nor too difficult to find. Remember to wear gloves and don't make a mess of things. Oh, and while you're there, I need you to steal something, preferably a box, preferably something old or stashed away in a closet that the girl isn't likely to notice it gone for a while. And on your way back, I need you to go see Sheri Lewis, the butcher..."
A few hours later, they'd done their job. Extremely well, if he had to say so himself. They'd returned from Mary Margaret's with an old jewelry box they claimed they found in the back of her closet buried under some clothes as if for safekeeping. And from Sheri Lewis, former warlord turned butcher, they returned with a sheep's heart. He fetched another hunting knife from his back room and made sure to cut just below all the places Lewis had cut the heart himself. It wouldn't be an exact match, but at least it was two hunting knives that appeared to make the cuts instead of a clean butcher's knife. Then, after cleaning the blade, he placed the heart inside the jewelry box himself then returned to the front of the store and the men who were waiting. He handed one of them the shovel along with the small piece of the shovel he'd broken off himself while they'd been at Mary Margaret's.
"Bury this-" he motioned to the metal fragment, "under this-" he handed him the box as well, "using this-" he explained, handing them the now broken shovel. "Bury it under the old toll bridge." The place that Marc had told him David would meet Mary Margaret when they were seeing each other. "Were seeing," past tense, since his spies reported they were on the outs since the affair went public. "When you are done with that shovel, kindly return it to Regina's home to the place you found it. And please, both of you, remember not to muddy the future crime scene with your fingerprints or other potential evidence," he muttered, glancing down at their shoes. "You only get paid if the right people are implicated."
Breaking and entering, murder weapon hidden, soon enough Kathryn would be secure and missing...but it still wouldn't be enough. He would need DNA. He was a lawyer; he knew that would be the clincher to doing this right. But he had plans for that to be fixed at a higher level. Dove had a cousin who worked in the hospital. When Dove went to pick up Kathryn, he was under orders to get some of her blood and leave it in the mailbox when he arrived at the safe house. Once everyone of his players were asleep, he'd send another cousin to pick it up and take it to the cousin who worked in the hospital and now for him. That cousin would make sure results matched when the time came. In the meantime, he resisted the urge to take notes on who was doing what or start making name tags for all Dove's cousins. It might help him keep things straight, but as of right now, none of this could be tied to him, and if he made a list like that...
"Is it done?" he questioned when he received a call from Dove just past one in the morning a couple of nights after he'd had his conversation with Regina. He was utterly exhausted already. He'd wanted everything done and set by the time this call arrived. He usually was in bed strictly by nine, ten at the latest, but he'd waited up just to hear from Dove that one of the last pieces had fallen into place.
"Yeah, just finished getting her in and settled…if you call banging against a soundproof door settled."
"Did she give you any trouble?"
"No. The car stopped just like you thought. How did you know that would happen?"
"I have my ways, Mr. Dove. Everything else went as planned?"
"Yeah, I blindfolded her, convinced her I had a gun, and got her into the car, then waited until after dark to get her into the house. Blood's in the mailbox. She actually cut herself before I grabbed her, so no harm, no foul there. She's in the basement now. I left her some books and cards to keep her entertained; hopefully, she'll notice when she calms down a bit. Why do you have a house like this?"
"The former tenant wanted to start a band and make a recording studio. When he failed to pay rent, I saw the benefit in keeping what he'd done. Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Dove, check-in and call me if you need something. I'll see your needs are met."
Getting Kathryn, like the rest of the plan, was easy enough. In talking to Regina, he'd learned that Kathryn had confessed to her weeks ago that she'd applied to law school in Boston. Boston…David's affair with Mary Margaret wasn't a strong relationship, nor was his relationship with Kathryn. A little pressure and everything was sure to begin to crack. And with just the right pressure, then Kathryn would get herself to the perfect place to disappear for a while…the town line. Either she'd get there alone, and he could go through with his plan. Or David would go with her, and Mary Margaret would be devastated. One way, and he'd be happy, another and Regina would be. It was a careful bet. But it had paid off. The affair became public knowledge yesterday. Will Scarlet had reported that to Dove, who had let him know that the relationship seemed to be over. Tonight, he wasn't surprised that Kathryn had gone alone. Or attempted to, at least.
He was exhausted, sorely in need of a good night's sleep after all of this, but he wasn't done yet. This weekend was Miner's Day, a town holiday, and the morning after Dove took Kathryn, as the town prepared for a weekend of festivities, he realized that he had one more visit to pay. Regina was taken care of, and Mary Margaret was taken care of…now he had to handle the third person in this trio…Emma Swan.
Yes, he wanted Regina to think he was working for her, and yes, he wanted to let her think she was close to getting everything she'd ever wanted…again. But then he needed Emma to take it all away. Emma was the key; the wild card he needed to be sure was tamed. After what he'd done, in a normal police precinct, Mary Margaret would go to jail for life, without question, because there would be no reason for the police to look deeper into it. But in Storybrooke, Emma Swan was the sheriff, and even if Regina had forgotten who the enemy was, he suspected that Emma would not. With everything pointing to her good friend Mary Margaret she'd investigate, she'd leave no stone unturned. She'd be determined to look deeper and prove it wasn't her. What would she find? Regina. Not Mary Margaret, but Regina. He was paying good money for that.
But it wasn't enough. He needed to be certain that along with Regina's guilt and Mary Margaret's innocence, she discovered something else. Motive. It was time. All his visions in the Enchanted Forest had always been clear. Emma needed to face off Regina. If it wouldn't happen naturally, then he'd kill two birds with one stone and orchestrate the damn thing himself. In the midst of all this, he needed Emma to ask questions, and he needed her to think. Why would the Mayor of Storybrooke hate a simple schoolteacher so much that she was willing to frame her? Why would she murder someone just to put Mary Margaret in jail? Why would she care so much?
Those were difficult questions that required a difficult answer, but the time had come to give her something to believe in that went beyond what she could see. And how would he do that? Well…there was one step in his plan that he was most worried about, one step that he didn't want to leave up to fate. Mary Margaret running away. He had a plan for that, but unfortunately, he needed someone to help him, and he was fresh out of cronies. Fortunately, he knew someone he might be able to convince, someone who used to work for him, someone who hadn't wanted to see him again but wouldn't remember that in this world.
"Mr. Jefferson," he smiled when his old associate answered the door. He stepped forward to offer his hand in a friendly shake. "I don't believe we've met, I'm-"
"Rumpelstiltskin…what took you so long?"
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tconilhilm · 6 years
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South Park x Stardew Valley (it’s late and I dont know what I’m doing.)
I love Stardew Valley and I also like South Park, who am I to not force them together for my own reasons? Hehehehe
Anyways. Butters and Kyle are roommates that work for Joja, their both rather sick and tired of the life and Kyle’s grandfather had left him a letter when he died telling him to only open it when he felt crushed by the weight of every day life. When Butters pointed out how morbid that was Kyle could only agree, either way when he did open the letter the pair realized that Kyle had a whole farm left in his name out in some place called Stardew Valley. Neither really have anything to loose in the city so they decide to pack up and move out, they had been doing things forever for years now, no point in separating when they both hated their jobs right?
So they arrive to Stardew and are shown around the town by Mayor Lewis and arrive at the farm. And as Robin, the carpenter, put it, it was more of a dump then not. Still, not one to easy give up Kyle is determined to make this work and gets started in cleaning up with Butters help. Each with their own set of tools they get to work cleaning up and planting their first crops. Also Kyle renames the farm to SugarCup Farm, he said it worked because of their personalities.
The towns people are a mix of the ones from Stardew and South Park, Stan is the second carpenter working under Robin, Kenny is gone the first year on military duty. Cartman is the manager of the Joja store in the town. Token helps at the Pelican Store, Clyde is a nurse next door, Craig and Tweek are dating each other and live on the beach on the opposite side of the path to Elliot, and Jimmy lives in the Saloon and does stand up comedy every Friday for the crowd.
Butters and Kyle aren’t seen at all for the first few days as they get settled in leaving the town to wonder just who they are and what their like. So the first day they head into town everyone is either curious about them or disappointing expecting more. While Butters isn’t use to such attention Kyle keeps them both from getting too far off track, they need to buy more seeds anyways.
For the most part everything is normal for them, peaceful little town and a farm that was slowly improving over time. Kyle got to talk to the cute carpenter boy and Butters got to actually learn now to do skills he always wanted to learn under his parents watch, farming, fishing, harvesting. Most of their income is from their crops but also a good bit of extra comes from fishing and the random stuff Butters finds around the beach and just around the town.
Butters is the first to fine the wizards town and looks up at it in confused wonder for a good three minutes before a rabbit runs past him scaring him into screaming like a girl. The causes the wizard to come out and look down at the boy who just nearly screamed bloody murder and is now blushing horribly. He raises an eyebrow at him and says something about chaos and discord before slamming the door shut. Butters quickly hurries off.
Soon the mines open and the pair agree to take turns working on it and going down together in the winter. Butters is surprisingly the better fighter and Kyle is better at finding the next ladder down.
Now that the mines are open and both are on their way to becoming residents of Stardew Valley, well, lets just say that’s when the weird things start happening. Then again, it wouldn’t be a home if they didn’t right?
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