#surface level banal shipping was never what this story was about

[septembersghost]

when you are talking about bleak takes. man there are so many running wild rn. why are people dismissing 'everything you did was for love' when it's one good thing we can take from season 15?

an honest answer that is fandom critical, so here goes: bitterness and hurt is consuming people to the point where the discussion is getting out of control, is my only reason. people are trying to moralize something (namely Dean himself, and the connections he makes) that isn’t about morality, it’s about transcendence. 

and because there’s this massive schism between sides regarding various ships, that speech has become a battleground and is being lost in the crossfire (one side not willing to hold onto its selfless importance unless they can force it to change shape, another side negating what it means to Dean and his motivation, when the fundamental meaning of it is about Dean as a human being. we didn’t need to be told that, but hearing it anyway carries weight despite how it’s unraveled in some spheres). I’ve said that the context is devastating while the content is beautiful and important, and I stand by that. I doubt I need to restate my hurt over Dean and how real of a grief it is, but fandom insisting on snatching away pieces of him worsens it and makes it even more impossible to heal. (I feel bad because I have officially hit the breaking point of unfollowing people who love him and who are in deep mourning with me, but are hateful of the things that are essential to him, his actions, his closest bonds, because it is too much damage for me to handle. I can’t take seeing his essence shredded when we already lost him in a brutal way.) I also feel like people simply don’t want to see that love is not always easy, clean, and pretty. Dean’s existence as an emblem of love doesn’t mean it’s fundamentally pure or without mistakes or without trauma - it’s the fact that it isn’t DEFINED by those aspects, it is defined by something so much greater than that. trying to box it in or shame/negate portions of it only fragments him in an unfair way. humanity itself is not easily defined. love is not clear cut, black and white, wrong and right - it’s layered and complicated and frustrating and consoling and full of potential. love does not have a singular meaning, its meanings are myriad. people can hurt you, and you can hurt people, and you can make amends, or not talk about it, and still love them with every breath. some of it is innate, some of it is instilled, it doesn’t mean any of it is less real or important.

what he did and was and is was defined by his capacity for brave, trembling, ferocious, tender, irrevocable love. if that means something to you? you’re allowed to hold onto it.

#anonymous #letterbox #the discourse about this is something else #the discourse that's basically playing scoreboards with love really loses me #as if it can be tallied up like that #as if it's competitive #like. his heart is special. it's the beacon #blotting it out is erasing him even more than his ending did #if we can't at least let him have #that's not who i am #then what's left #if we can't let him have the bridge which to be clear has become very meaningful and vital to me then we're diminishing any peace he found #(yes i did strain against heaven in my grief at first but did i come to a cathartic place with it out of necessity? absolutely) #if we can't let him be the multifaceted character who loved others and in many many ways #we're letting him die all over again #idk i reject it #looking at it through the lens of ships only is the problem i think #surface level banal shipping was never what this story was about #ship wars in this fandom are beyond help #but he's getting diluted and lost between factions and i'm not here for that #dean feelings