#tbh don’t even get me started about how I think imposing a strict binary on a cosmic energy field and channelling exclusively one side of it

[knife-em0ji]

Sorry for this long post but can people stop treating Vader and Anakin as completely separate people. Like. That type of dissociation were obviously coping mechanisms by Old Ben and Vader. Not like. A literal fragmentation of personalities. Like if you love Anakin Skywalker imo you have to accept that he was a cute kid and a padme simp and a fun older brother and a boy desperately in need of acknowledgement and praise and a father who ultimately loved his son but also a guy who commits atrocities in his anger and strangles people who annoy him and has a victim/persecution complex (although admittedly for good reason) and was also a notorious child killer. This man contains multitudes.

Imo falling to the dark side/using the light side of the force isn’t marked by a shift or fragmentation of personality, but rather what emotions are used to channel the force and guide one’s actions. I think part of what’s so hard about resisting the dark side and coming back to the light is that there’s positive feedback loops of power, and resisting that by doing good and healthily channeling emotions is just plain hard. Especially in the case of Anakin, who is notoriously a “in for a penny, in for a pound” type of guy. He’s loyal and loves completely and dangerously with his whole heart, and he hates just as much.

And I think guilt is a huge factor with him struggling to do good; it’s pretty much a thought process of “Well, I’ve already committed thousands of atrocities and have countless amounts of blood on my hands, I have to believe whole hog in what I’ve been doing because then otherwise what was it all for.” I think that’s what makes his sacrifice for Luke so poignant, because it speaks to how much he loves his son that he’s able to overcome that spiral and do one last act of love for his son, unselfishly and without rationalization.

Idk, I just watched ESB again, and I think beyond just wanting to possess Luke and use him for power, it’s reasonable to think that part of the reason Vader wants him so badly to turn to the dark side with him is that he still thinks the dark side is the only way he can have enough power to protect his family and therefore keep them—he’s objectively much more powerful than he was in the prequels, and a main part of his struggles during the fall of the Republic was that he didn’t feel “strong enough” to protect the people he loved as a Jedi. He wasn’t able to free the slaves. He wasn’t able to save his mother. He wasn’t able to stop Ashoka’s expulsion from the order. He wasn’t able to prevent Padmé from dying. With the commitment he’s had to his path and the objective amount of power he’s amassed since the twins’ births, I think it’s reasonable to assume he desperately grasping at the idea that somehow, this time, he’ll be able to achieve what he’s never been able to do before. But his failure always lies in the fact that his motivations are, and always have been, ultimately self-serving, that his pride and fear of loss—which are completely understandable in moderation and not something he should necessarily be punished for—outweigh his real and genuine care for his loved ones and the galaxy at large.

Idk. All this to say that Anakin has always been Vader and Vader has always been Anakin. They’re the same fucking person, you fools! Stop taking dissociative rationalization literally!!! It’s right there in the text!!!! His return to the light does not negate his time in the dark and vice versa! There is good in him !! He is capable of unspeakable evil !!! BOTH ARE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!

#darth vader #anakin skywalker #Star Wars #look. I have a PhD in Darth Vader. he is my babygirl. my sweet cheese. my silly rabbit. #my meow meow has committed atrocities by the likes you’ve never even believed #Vader studies #tbh don’t even get me started about how I think imposing a strict binary on a cosmic energy field and channelling exclusively one side of it #is reductive to the theme of ‘balance’ like. how can you be balanced if you only use one side and whole heartedly reject the other huh. huh