#that is the first thing to consider. Making a list of the many cleaning service providers that are available and operate locally might be a

[blackhistorystoryteller]

This is a message to my black brothers and sisters

Black history goes beyond slavery

You need to learn our cultures and traditions

Two major types of marriage exist in Nigeria: monogamy, a marriage of one man to one woman, and polygyny, a marriage of one man to two or more wives. In most cultural groups in Nigeria, traditional marriage is usually an arrangement between two families as opposed to an arrangement between two individuals. Accordingly, there is pressure on the bride and bridegroom to make the marriage work as any problem will usually affect both families and strain the otherwise cordial relationship between them. In most Nigerian cultures, the man usually pays the dowry or bride-price and is thus considered the head of the family. Adultery is acceptable for men, but forbidden for women. Marriage ceremonies vary among Nigerian cultures.

1 the ekpeye marriage

Bride price is paid in cash on every girl child before marriage is assumed to have taken place. This money is paid in stages and cannot be paid at once in one visit for several reasons. The first stage begins with the man and woman who after getting the approval of both parents, meet at the man’s best friend’s house for an initial introduction, which is called “Back Drink”. The bride will thereafter take the drink to her parents as a formal announcement of marriage.

The second stage is the “Front Drink” which is a bigger ceremony. In the past, this ceremony takes a whole day, but now modified to accommodate other issues in the marriage process. These issues include “Front Drink, Lineage Drink, Extended family Drink, Parents Bride Price, First Son’s bride price and the family bride price. These payments are done in segments. Although today, the issues listed are gradually being considered. There are other issues on the marriage such as cleaning of table, late coming, fixing of marriage date, service charge, etc. Some other amounts of money are paid in bits and segments, including drinks, snuffs, cigarette, etc before the final payment of “Head Money”, Ejie (2012). The head money is the most recognized and can be refunded in the case of divorce.

BRIDE EXCURSION

Payment of bride price ends with the family bride price. The groom’s wish determines the next line of action. If he wants a fanfare excursion, then another process begins. If he does not want any fanfare excursion, the bride is then allowed to formally depart and live with the husband.

Bride excursion is usually avoided in Ekpeye because of its high cost. The groom at this stage is required to settle for many other things for his wife to be escorted with gift items. However, there are compulsory gift items and non- compulsory items.

At the groom’s family house, a big ceremony is organized for the reception of the new bride and her entourage. These include young adult women, spinsters, and boys. After a day of this visit, they will all return back home, while at least seven spinsters will stay with the bride for another one week, helping her in customary domestic affairs.

. FAMILY INITIATION

This whole process of marriage makes you a man after initiation. Usually, you shall not be accepted for initiation if you have not paid the completed bride price.

Family initiation is a formal introduction of your wife to everybody in the lineage. Food and drinks are made available to groups in the lineage. These are men group, women group, youth group, boys, and girls and the children. Until every group has said they are satisfied, the ceremony cannot be over. A sign of acceptance is done by singing made in groups, especially the children group who shall raise a praise song in your name, Edema (2013).

When also these have been said and done, the couple shall be seated before the most elderly man and woman shall be seated for marriage blessings. This marriage blessing can be done traditionally or by prayers. Shortly after this special blessing, young men shall lift the man, while the woman shall be carried by women to their room. Both of them shall be locked-up in their bedroom where they shall remain until day-break. Their special assistants shall see to the end of the programme

2 Idoma marriage. The Idoma people live in central Nigeria, in the Benue State. The myth of their origin states that they are descended from the Zulu tribe of South Africa. They are mainly warriors. Some of their subgroups are the Adors, Otupas, Ogbanibos, Apas, Ofokanus and Owukpas. Marriage in Idoma land is considered a lifelong state, although divorce is possible on the grounds of A Nigerian bride and groom at their wedding ceremony.In most cultural groups in Nigeria, traditional marriage is an arrangement between two families rather than an arrangement between two individuals. KERSTIN GEIER/CORBIS adultery or other concrete reasons. When an Idoma man is at least twenty-five years old and has the financial and physical capacity to maintain a wife and children, he searches for and finds a woman of his choice, who is at least eighteen years old. He reports his findings to his family, which then chooses a go-between, a person who is familiar with the girl's family. The go-between investigates the family of the prospective bride to ascertain that the family has no history of mental disease, epilepsy, or similar problems. If the result of this investigation is positive, the prospective groom's family visits the woman's family with gifts of kola nut and hot drinks. After the first visit, another visit is scheduled for the woman to meet her future husband, after which a final visit is scheduled for the future groom and his family to pay the bride-price and offer other gifts. If the woman refuses to marry the man after these gifts have been provided, the groom's family keeps them

On the wedding day, in addition to the bride-price, the groom must pay a dowry first to the bride's mother and then another dowry to the father; this involves a significant amount of bargaining. Also every member of the bride's mother's family must be given money, with the groom's family determining the amount. The bride's age group and her more distant relatives also are given money, with the amount varying with level of the bride's education and productivity. Then the groom's family gives the bride a rooster and some money. If she accepts these gifts and gives them to her mother, she indicates her acceptance of the groom, but if she refuses, she signifies her refusal. If she accepts him, she is showered with gifts and money, and the two families eat and drink together. Before the bride is finally handed over to her husband, however, her age group will pose as a mock barrier to those who want to take her and extort money from the anxious groom's family. The bride's mother buys her cooking utensils and food because she is not expected to go to the market for the first five market days after her marriage. At the end of the eating and drinking, the wife is finally handed over to her husband's family.

Ideally the bride should be a virgin at marriage, which brings pride and joy to her family. If she is found not to be a virgin, she is taken to the husband's family' ancestral shrine for cleansing. After this the Ije is put on her to invoke fertility on her. This marks the beginning of married life among the Idoma tribe.

3 Marriage in Okrika land. Okrika is located in the eastern part of the Niger Delta of Nigeria, in the Rivers State. The Okrika clan is made up of nine major towns and more than fifteen villages.The fifteen villages are known as Iwoama (new towns). Okrika is the largest town with the largest population and is the administrative and traditional headquarters of the clan. In the Wakirike area, there are two main types of marriages—the Ya or Iyaye and the Igwa.

The Ya marriage ceremony involves certain customary functions that precede the consummation of the marriage. Here the bride and groom must come from the same tribe. When the husband is ready, members of the family assemble for the essential marriage rites, including the tying of the knot. The man is required to produce three to five pieces of kano cloth or Ikpo, one piece of real India cloth, or injiri, four yards of raffia palm cloth sewn together (okuru), and another separate yard of the same material. If the husband is wealthy, he adds additional kinds of cloth. He also provides three or four large pots of palm wine and twenty-two or twenty-four manila. These offerings are placed in the shrine of the family ancestors, and an elderly person in the family takes up the single yard of raffia cloth and ties the knot. The husband and wife stand before the shrine, side by side. The elder then ties the raffia cloth round the waist of the wife seven times, each time uttering some words that invoke blessings on the couple. Palm wine is poured into a drinking cup, and the bride and groom drink from it simultaneously. The knot has thus been tied, and divorce becomes virtually impossible. The single yard of raffia cloth is the essential thing to make the marriage binding. In case of unavoidable divorce as aresult of adultery on the woman's part, the parents of the wife are bound to return double the cumulative expenses of the husband.

The second system, Igwa, means mixed; the woman and the man may marry even though they are from different families. A woman married under the Ya system can be married under Igwa if the Ya husband is not living with her as husband and wife under the same roof. All offspring of this second marriage belong not to the biological father but to the Ya husband, who by custom is regarded as their legal father. If the woman has not been previously married to any man under the Ya system, children from the Igwa marriage belong either to the lawful husband of the wife's mother or to her brothers. However, the once unchangeable custom of the possession of children born under the Igwa system of marriage is relaxing under the pressure of modern times. Many adult men and young people engage in Igwa marriage if their previous marriage produced no children

4 Marriage among the Ibos. The Ibos are a very class-conscious group. They have a caste system and encourage endogamy. In the Ibo society, the castes include the Nwadiani, who are the upper caste of freeborn and land owners, and the Osu, who are the lower caste and descendants of former slaves. In the past, the Osu were used in human sacrifices. (Though the Osus are no longer slaves, yet they are still discriminated against by the free-born, who will usually oppose any of their children marrying an Osu.)

Within the Nwadiani are three groups:

The freeborn, who are able to trace their lineage to the founder of a segment of the community.

The Omoru, whose ancestors came from elsewhere to settle and become attached to the founder of the community. Their descendants are accepted as full members of the village or town because of their freeborn status in their place of origin.

The descendants of the autonomous groups who lived in the area before the founders of the state arrived and incorporated them into the structure of the community, which they established.

Intermarriage among Nwadiani has united these three categories in a closely knit kinship system. All the lineages in the village were believed to have descended from one ancestor or the other. Kinship links were sometimes invoked to create special relationships with neighboring village groups or village. Owing to their close kinship ties, men had to find their wives outside the village. One kind of link is between villages and village groups. Villages in a group, as well as neighboring villages, were linked by bonds forged by marriage alliances.

Endogamous marriage seemed to have served to perpetuate the Osu status, which is inferior. At Oguta, Osomari, Onitsha, and Abo, Osu could only marry an Osu because of their outcast status. They are thus despised by the freeborn. This discrimination was carried further at Osamari where the Osu class had their exclusive residential quarters (ebo) in each division. This also gave the servile quarters a sense of corporate solidarity in opposition to the "Freeborn" quarters. Through the intermarriage between members of different Ogbe, Ebo and the Osu of a community they have developed a web of kinship similar to that, which characterizes the Nwadiani. However, permitted intermarriage between Osu and Nwadianins and children born of such mixed marriages are allowed to have the status of Nwadiani. (Note that though this caste system is historical, the descendants of these castes have inherited their ancestors' classes and are therefore stratified along that line even today.)

Marriage ceremonies in traditional Ibo society are elaborate affairs celebrated with much fanfare and merriment. The couple must have had some period of courtship during which the prospective groom informs his parents of his intention to take a woman of a certain village as wife. The parent of his intended wife must be known to his parents, and the courtship requires the prospective bride to pay at least one courtesy call on her potential inlaws to enable them to get to know her. After getting acquainted with the woman, the parents of the bridegroom will give their approval if they are satisfied that their prospective daughter-in-law has an unblemished reputation. Such courtships usually become public knowledge. The day of the marriage must be mutually agreed upon by both families (Omokhodion 1998).

[wheresmynaya]

Blame it on the Mistletoe Ch. 2 | Brittana

A/N - I've been blown away by everyone's kind words from last chapter and happy to see some familiar names pop up in my notifications too! Thank you all so much for reading, what a warm welcome back!

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

After many years of working in a kitchen, Santana learned that she works well with routines. It’s most likely a habit she picked up while working under Chef Holliday, but it stuck with her, and she rarely deviates from it. Every day starts the same; review last night’s prep list and delegate tasks, quality check, review deliveries and triple check inventory then brief with the team before service.

Routines equal consistency and consistency equals success and success equals the Understudy staying open and everyone else remaining employed. The latter being particularly important considering they’re knocking on the holidays’ door.  

It’s a lot of pressure when Santana thinks about it, so she tries not to.

Instead, she focuses on her routine and does her best to keep things running smoothly. Every day, she makes a point to be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. She finds a certain solace being alone in an empty kitchen. She has her coffee and admires how everything’s clean and quiet, ready for a brand-new day. It’s usually peaceful, the calm before the storm, but lately Santana feels anything but peace thanks to Brittany’s return.

Lately, Santana feels like blasting Alanis Morissette.

\\

Service starts in less than three hours, but Kurt and Rachel struggle to string together a coherent thought with Santana’s choice of music rattling their office walls. They’ve learned to stay away from the kitchen at times like this despite paying for everything in it, including Santana’s salary. Chefs are a rare breed, kind of like actors, and Rachel respects that Santana has her own ways of preparing. However, the longer this goes on the more Kurt thinks it’s best they intervene.

“I don’t think it’s wise, Kurt,” Rachel insists. “Remember what happened last time you bothered her when the sign was up?”

“To be fair, that sign was meant to be a gag gift,” Kurt replies. “I didn’t think she’d actually use it against us.”

“Well she does and we should respect it.”  

“We are her bosses; we’re allowed to tell her to keep it down,” Kurt says. “But maybe we’ll just wait until the song finishes?”

“Of course. That’s more than generous.”

Rachel and Kurt return to their work and wait a few more minutes before the walls start to shake again. Rachel attempts to go on ignoring it but the constant rattling sends her most prized possession sliding off her desk. Thankfully, the framed picture of the one and only Broadway show she has ever starred in – which she has autographed herself – looks to be perfectly fine.

“Oh good, the glass didn’t break!” Rachel cheers as she places it back on her desk.

Kurt only shakes his head. “I think asking her to turn it down isn’t an unreasonable request. I can’t even hear myself think.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“So you’ll come with me?”

“What?” Rachel gasps. “Why do you need me?”

“I’ll need the back up. You know, incase…”

“No, no. Santana and I are just starting to get along well again since the awards ceremony, I don’t want to ruin the progress we’ve made. She is terrifying when she’s angry.”

“We can’t live like this!” Kurt huffs and abruptly takes a stand. “We’re going in. Let’s go!”

Rachel screws up her face but follows Kurt out of the office anyway.

\\

In the kitchen, Santana furiously works through the day’s prep list with Quinn by her side. There’s a little more than usual considering the busy night before. Reservations have been on the rise since being dubbed the Best Regional Restaurant, so she has taken on some prep of her own to ease the line cooks’ workload when they arrive.

Santana likes to think of herself as a gracious leader sometimes, one who doesn’t shy away from getting her hands dirty when needed. In fact, she prefers working alongside her team. What is she supposed to do during service anyway? She’s no park and bark!

Plus she needs the extra work to keep herself distracted, otherwise she might actually return one of Brittany’s calls – and there have been a lot of them.

“Okay Santana, it’s time!” Kurt announces as he shoves the swing doors open. “We have something to – Rachel, come on!”

Rachel is dragged into view looking anything but pleased to be there. Santana watches the pair with an unamused look on her face but quickly loses interest when neither of them say anything and goes back to cutting vegetables.

Quinn seems to be intrigued and asks, “Time for what?”

“Yeah Rachel, time for what?” Kurt questions.

Rachel gasps again just as You Oughta Know finishes. “This was your idea.”

“But you’re equally distracted so it’s your idea too.”

“I was fine to deal with it because she’s clearly going through something – “

“Doesn’t mean she has to take it out on the rest of us!”

Suddenly, the music pauses. The pair look up to find Santana impatiently waiting.

“Hi, I can hear you. Do you mind taking your domestic dispute elsewhere? Thanks.” Santana tells them but just before she continues her work, Kurt whispers something. Santana rolls her eyes and asks, “What is it?”

Kurt and Rachel exchange a few more grumbled words before Kurt finally speaks up.

“We think you need to give Alanis a break.”

Santana quirks her brow. “Excuse me?”

“It’s been two weeks of this,” Kurt explains. “Surely, you can switch it up? I’m sure everyone would appreciate it. Right, Quinn?”

Quinn only shrugs. “I don’t mind. Jagged Little Pill is iconic.”

“That it is,” Rachel agrees. “However, maybe consider playing – “

“Let me guess, showtunes? No.” Santana lowers her eyes and goes back to working through her veg prep.

“Or maybe try something a little less, I don’t know. Angry?”

“Angry?” Santana repeats the word like it’s foreign. “I’m not angry.”

“Yes Santana, angry. You’re angry,” Rachel replies. “I get it, music is a great way to convey your feelings when you have trouble articulating them and like I told Kurt, you’re clearly upset about something since the ceremony. I thought we were past it and I thought winning would ease the tension but alas here we are. And the music, it’s just a little…loud.”

“Forget little. It’s extremely loud,” Kurt adds. “We can’t work under these conditions anymore!”

Santana finally looks up again, eyes narrowed on them. She lowers her knife slowly.

“Thank you for the feedback,” She tells them. The tone she takes is deceptively polite. “However, you told me when you hired me that it is my kitchen and I can run it however I like so with that being said…my kitchen, my Alanis..”

“Yes, but –“

“The sign is up.” Santana points at the Beware of Chef caution sign taped over the small window in the swing door. “Why? Because we have to respect each other’s workspaces. You can’t barge in here whenever you want, just like I can’t go barging into your office. It’s about respect.”

“See, but that’s our point,” Kurt tries. “This volume is disrespectful.”

“And so is that outfit but I keep my opinions to myself.”

“Santana…” Rachel chastises.

“You’re right, that was rude. But see? That wouldn’t have happened if you respected the sign,” Santana replies.

“She has a point, Kurt.”

“Rachel!”

“Anyway,” Santana says. “If you’re done interrupting, we have some work to do.”

“Right. We’ll just leave you to it,” Rachel interrupts Kurt and starts guiding him out of the kitchen. “We’re around if you need anything!”

“Noted.” Santana then rolls her eyes as they continue bickering out the door. But, she waits until they’re gone before lowering the volume. At the end of the day, they’re still her bosses so she better not press her luck.

Besides, they’re not entirely wrong about her being angry because she definitely is. No one at the Understudy knows about her personal history. All they know is that she trained under Chef Holliday for many years, moved up the ranks extremely fast and became this kickass chef. They know she’s pleasant with everyone, cares deeply about her crew and respects that she has a responsibility to this place.

What they don’t know is that trouble is brewing on the horizon and it takes form as one Brittany S. Pierce. After two weeks, Santana thought she would’ve found a way to deal with the news of her return and all the fun little things that came with it but she clearly hasn’t.

“I think we’re good on cucumber, Chef.”

Santana looks down at her station and finds the cutting board covered in cucumber batons. She curses as she organizes the mess, but she can feel Quinn glancing her way as they go back to work.

“Everything okay?” She asks. “You don’t usually go into autopilot when it’s just us.”

In the time that Santana’s worked at the Understudy, she and Quinn have developed a good working relationship. On her first day, she remembers Quinn standing guard at the kitchen doors with a face full of skepticism. Considering the Understudy’s history with Execs and knowing Quinn had to work under each of them, Santana couldn’t really blame her.

It was rocky at first, but they had a common understanding that Quinn’s knowledge was integral. If Santana was going fix whatever was wrong, she needed Quinn’s help to do it. Quinn respected that and they eventually became good friends. It comes with the territory when you spend all your time in the kitchen together.

“You don’t have to say,” Quinn adds upon Santana’s silence. “I think it’s totally normal to have Alanis on repeat for two weeks.”

Santana laughs at her sarcasm. Not many people can tell when Quinn’s joking and when she’s being serious – she always reminded her of Brittany in that way. Maybe that’s also why she’s so good at knowing the difference.

“I ran into someone at the awards ceremony,” Santana tells her. She’s not sure what to call Brittany – her friend, an old colleague, her girlfriend, her ex? None of the labels seem to fit. “This person and I have history and I wasn’t expecting to see them there.”

“Professional or romantic history?”

“Both.”

“I see,” Quinn says. “Must be a lot of history if you still can’t shake it off.”

“You have no idea,” Santana grumbles. “I’ve always avoided hooking up with anyone I work with. We just share small spaces for hours on end, we’re not actually attracted to each other. You know?”

“There should be a term for it. Beer goggles but the kitchen version.”

“Exactly!” Santana replies, “But it was different with her.”

Quinn starts to laugh and Santana flicks a cucumber end at her.

“No, I’m serious! I’ve never met someone who I clicked with like that!” Santana explains.

“How cliché can you be?” Quinn teases.

“Laugh all you want, but it’s true.” As Santana reminisces, Brittany’s smiling face pops up in her imagination. “We shared the same passion for cooking, we were both workaholics so neither of us would get upset if we cancelled at the last minute because we had to cover a shift or we were just too exhausted to do anything but sleep. It meant everything to share that with someone who understood.”

“Okay, fine. That actually sounds really nice,” Quinn replies.

 “It was. We were the dynamic duo,” Santana says. “The way we bounced off of each other and how we were always so in sync. That can’t be replicated. Sorry, Q.”

“Don’t worry. Unlike you, I actually stick to the no dating in the kitchen rule,” Quinn jokes. “But it sounds like you guys were perfect. What happened?”

“Love happened and it ruined everything,” Santana replies dramatically. “I fell in love with her and planned what’s next thinking she’d be there with me. We anticipated these huge job offers once our contracts with the other place finished up and we agreed to decline them so that we could do our own thing together.”

“Like what? Open a restaurant or something?”

“Something like that,” Santana answered. “When the offer came, I declined just like we planned.”

“Shit.” Quinn starts to connect the dots. “She didn’t.”

“That’s right,” Santana says. “I was going to adjust though in order to make things work. I didn’t mind pivoting, but things got weird. She started being secretive; she wouldn’t tell me about the role or who she was going to be working with, she didn’t even tell me where the restaurant was! Then one day I came home to find her waiting with her bags packed. She said the job required her to move, she found out last minute and that this was goodbye.”

Quinn sputters out a disbelieving, “What the fuck?”

Santana avoids eye contact. This part of their story makes her feel so pitiful, but she endures. “She couldn’t even tell me where she was going, only that she’d come back.”

“How long has she been away?” Quinn questions. “Did you guys at least talk during that time?”

“She sent letters but she didn’t write about much. At least, not about what I actually wanted to know like what the hell was going on,” Santana replies. “She did that for about a year.”

“A year!” Quinn’s shocked. “Okay yeah, now I get Alanis being on repeat. That’s ridiculous! Now she’s back and what? She thinks all is forgiven?”

“See? You get it!” Santana is overcome with relief.

“Of course, I get it. I have my own complicated dating history so I completely understand, but this isn’t about me,” Quinn redirects the conversation back to Santana. “So the awards was the first time you’ve seen her.”

“Yup! She wanted to talk that night and I was open to it because, you know, I miss her and I obviously still love her but it’s complicated. She doesn’t get to flash me a smile and bat her eye lashes – it won’t work on me this time.”

“Was?” Quinn repeats. “So you didn’t end up talking?”

“No! Because then I found out that she’s opening a restaurant – something we were meant to do together. How the hell we were supposed to talk about the first bomb she dropped on me when she’s in the middle of dropping another?” Santana lets out a frustrated sigh. “That night was supposed to be about me winning that damn award but I didn’t even feel like celebrating after that.”

“Jesus, Santana…this is a mess,” Quinn says.

“I honestly don’t know what to do. With the new menu needing to be finalized and everything around launch day, I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with her right now.”

“Put it on the back burner then?” Quinn suggests. “It sounds crazy but just focus on the menu and getting the team ready. Whatever you and her need to sort out will still be there after Christmas.”

“That’s true,” Santana sighs. She wonders if she can truly last that long without addressing this though. She and Brittany aren’t known for their restraint – then again, they’ve surely gotten better thanks to the year apart.

“Look, the best thing about working so far away from everything else is that it’s easy to tune things out,” Quinn assures her. “So just do that until you’re ready. Like you said, you’re both workaholics and if she’s opening up a restaurant she’ll be equally as busy.”

 “Yeah, not sure how I can tune her out when that beautiful backstabber’s restaurant is just down the street from us now.”

“Wait a second. She opened up a restaurant near us?” Quinn’s once again shocked, struggling to wrap her head around the news. Now she knows how Santana has felt for the past two weeks!

“Now that I think of it, this is probably karma or something,” Santana says. “I’ve worked my ass off for this but the universe clearly thinks I need to work harder. We were always so good together but what are we apart? This is the universe’s fault. This is it’s shitty way of bringing her back just to turn her into a competitor.”

“Competitor?” Quinn frowns. “I’m not following.”

“Think about it, the Understudy was the only place out here for miles. Now that we’re on the map, Best Regional Restaurant was meant to be ours for the taking not only this year but every year. We were only meant to compete against ourselves, push our own boundaries, but then here she comes ruining that just like she ruined everything back then.”

“Uh, you sure she didn’t pick the area because land is cheap and that old barn was the perfect fixer upper?”

“Please. Nothing is cheap in this economy.” Santana fills with a new sense of purpose. “She did this deliberately. She made this personal.”

Quinn looks at her warily, but ultimately goes with it. This newfound determination is great for morale and maybe it’ll be enough to help Santana push through the kinks of the new menu?

“Okay that’s fine. A little competition won’t hurt,” Quinn says. “We’re fine dining and she’s – well, I don’t actually know what she’s offering but I doubt it’ll be similar. I mean, how many theater-inspired fine dining restaurants do you know of? Besides, what are the chances you two will ever run into each other anyway?”

Santana puts a pin in her plotting and considers Quinn’s point. She’s right, they do offer a pretty niche concept and knowing Brittany – this isn’t her vibe. Quinn could be onto something. She’ll just stick to her routines and focus on nailing a badass menu and if it happens to put Brittany’s place to shame then guess she had it coming.

#Blame it on the Mistletoe #BiotM #Brittana #brittana fanfiction #fanfics #Chef Brittana AU #santana lopez #brittany s pierce #writing things

[waeziverse]

Royal Punch: Atsidas and Connie

The Pie House had been the most successful eating establishment in Onyxville for the last sixty years. Besides the many pies and quick service, the place had been revolutionary back when they became the first restaurant in the dock town with a toilet. Such a thing was considered a matter of course in modern Nesredna society and no one thought of the brilliance of the dwarves who had made the removal of feces so simple. The miracle called toilet was truly unappreciated.

Atsidas the Orc did not appreciate the toilet as he was cleaning it. How much importance they had did not occur to him as he was pretty simple minded. The list of things he did not consider was rather long, which was part of the reason to why he would soon be in a lot of trouble.

One of the many things he did not consider, just to name an example, was how dangerous the neighborhood he both lived and worked in were. But that was most likely because Atsidas was a big fella. Taller than most adults he met. He was not used to creatures trying to pick fights with him.

So he was met by a surprised when his shift had ended and left the restaurant through the back door. Someone who as not impressed or intimated by his size ambushed him by hurling cold water in the face with so much force that it felt like as if he had been punch in the kisser.

“You bastard! You green piece of shit!”

On the backstreet behind the Pie house where trash had been thrown, a creature with light-brown skin, round ears and dark hair glared angrily at Atsidas. She was dressed in a blouse made of cheap silk with (poorly) hand-sewed patterns. She was also wearing an apron that had white powder on it, presumably flour.

Her beautiful black hair had been gathered in a braid.

“Ouch...” Atsidas’ cheek had turned red from the impact of the water that now had returned to the human who had cast the spell. The human held her hand over her head and the water levitated over her open palm. “Hey, hey, easy.”  Atsidas said as he held up his hands to show he did not want any trouble. “What is this-”

“SHUT UP!” The human grind her teeth as she with a wave of her hand sent the floating orb of water flying as if it were a ball. It landed on Atsidas‘ stomach, making him trip backward. “Do you have ANY idea what you have done to me, asshole?!”

Atsidas shrugged. “No?” His reply seemed to make the human even more pissed as she clenched her fist, making the orb of water freeze and getting small spikes. Atsidas gulped. It looked unpleasant. “Wait, just tell me what I-”

“What’s going on out here?!” Rosalio, the satyr with black wool who cleaned the toilets with Atsidas, had heard the commotion and had just opened the backdoor and was about to enter the backstreet. The human turned red as a tomato and the ball of ice turned liquid once more. She threw it at the face of the satyr. “AARGH, MY EYES! WHAT THE HELL?!” Rosalio nudged his eyes as the human ran away. Atsidas still sat on his behind, confused. He only now realized that he sat on puke.

“Hey, you okay?” Rosalio offered Atsidas a hand that the young orc accepted. “What was that about? Did you piss off that human?”

“I guess...” Atisdas shrugged as he dusted off his clothes and used the back of his sleeve to dry himself of water. It did not smell pleasant.

Rosalio rolled his eyes. “Nasty creatures. Still don’t get why the orcs didn’t get rid of the kids as well. Did you get a good look at her? We could tell the city guard on her ass.”

“... Nice earring.” Atsidas noticed the feather-formed pieces of silver hanging from Rosalio’s long sheep-ears. “Are those new?”

Rosalio’s nostrils grew wider as he got annoyed. “Don’t change the subject, this is serious! Did you get a good look at her?!”

“Nooo...” Atsidas blinked three times as he lied. Rosalio luckily did not notice as his eyes were still sore. “No, it... happened so fast. Humans, ah, look all the same, am I right?”

“Come on, there live, like, five or six humans in this town. Skin color? Nose size? You must have noticed something about her.”

“Nope.” Atsidas blinked rapidly once more. “No, I’m not sure I could recognize her if I met her again.”

***

Kahaani the Human, called Connie by friends, took the dough and slammed it against the wooden table, getting flour on herself. She knead the dough as she blew a lock of hair away from her face. She kept pounding the dough over and over again, taking her frustrations out on this bread-to-be. As she finished kneading the bread six times too many, she placed it inside a pot and then sprinkled flour on top of the dough before putting the lid on the pot. As she did so, the water inside a bowl turned around by itself mixing the water with oil, salt and yeast. Connie then added flour to the mix that eventually became dough that she also punished.

After doing so for an hour or so, she felt exhausted and sick to her stomach. She was about to leave the kitchen as she was created by Agnes, the owner of the bakery and the centaur who had agreed to be her foster parent when Connie’s parents had been banished from the kingdom after the orcs took over. Like the rest of the human adults.

“You look pale.” Agnes was leaning her upper body through the window that connected the kitchen and shop. “What’s the matter, luv?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it...” Connie went to the stairs that led to her bedroom. She knew she could be in peace from Agnes there since centaurs and stairs did not get along.

Orcs however did stairs just fine. That and ladders.

“What th-” Connie was about to yell, but stopped herself as she did not want Agnes to be worried. So she took in a deep breath, walked into her room, closed the door and then glared at the orc who was about the same age as her. “What the hells are you doing here?!”

“I just wanna talk.” Atsidas casually closed the window he had used to enter the room. “Is something wrong? Did I do something... bad? If I did, then I’m super sorry!”

“Do something ba-” Connie stopped herself yet again from working herself up and took in a deep breath as she took off her apron and sat on her bed. She held up a hand as Atsida was about to sit next to her. She then sighed. “I’m... I went to the local healer and... Look, I’m pregnant, okay?!”

Atsidas’ jaw would have hit the wooden floor had it been long enough.

Connie looked at Atsidas as she was expecting something from him, then she looked away and scratched her nose.

Atsidas looked at the human girl and tried to say something, but his mouth was dry and his throat felt like was filled with nuts. But then he forced himself to speak despite his voice being meek. “So... so, what do we do now?”

Connie groaned. “We? WE are not doing anything. I’m gonna work extra hours at the bakery to save up money. And I’m gonna change my diet to gain weight so no one will think it’s weird my stomach is getting bigger. And I will hopefully somehow save up enough to leave town and figure out what to do about this mutant baby.”

“Connie, I’m not an asshole. I will save up, too. Help and... stuff.”

Connie made a bitter laugh as she shook her head. “Sid, you barely make enough as a cleaner to pay rent. Hells, you don’t. You have to share a shitty apartment with an overgrown turkey.”

“Actually, I think Don is a pheasant harpy... sorry, not important. Look, I did this to you, I-”

“Stop, Sid, just... just stop.” Connie nudged her eyes as she stood up from her bed. “You are sweet, but... Just stay away from me from now on.”

Atsidas blinked. “But-”

“We both agree that everyone and their aunt hate hybrids, right? So lets keep our distance so no one thinks the eventually visibly pregnant human and orc are somehow connected. Besides, you and me... this was a bad idea to begin with, right? It’s stupid how lucky we been so far, not getting outed. You don’t owe me anything. This was never gonna go anywhere.”

Atsidas looked like a lost puppy. A big green one. Connie tried to smile but instead just made a weird grimace. She then placed a hand on the cheek she had hit earlier. Atsidas placed his hand over hers. It felt as if time went too fast and too slow simultaneously.

Unsure what to do, Connie pulled her hand free and patted Atsidas on the shoulder. “It was... nice while it lasted.”

“Yeah. It was... I will go, I guess. See ya lat... ah, right, no.” The young orc opened the window and turned one last time to look at the prettiest creature he had even laid eyes on. “... bye.”

After Atsidas had climbed down the ladder and hidden it in the bush like he had done many times before, Connie closed the window, went to bed, buried her face into the pillow and wept.

***

Atsidas’ home was a three-room flat above a shop that sold cheese. The young orc had lived there for two years since his parents had agreed that it was time for him to learn what Nesredna society was like and work on his personality like his three older siblings.

Atsidas wondered why he couldn’t work on his personality while working at the family company. Then again, having his big sisters and brother as supervisors might not have been that great.

Atsidas opened the door and heard the snore of Don, the co-owner of his humble home. He took off his work suit and picked his casual brown shirt and pants that hung from a nail hammered into the wall next to the door. He took a look in the bedroom and found the red-faced bird guy sleeping like a rock and having accidentally kicked his blanket off. He was wearing nothing but his trousers, making almost all of his brown and green feathers visible. After opening a window to get some fresh air inside the flat, Atsidas went to the humble kitchen where there were some bean stew left, easy to heat up. Don had written a note for him again despite Atsidas and all other orcs not being able to read.

Atsidas decided to eat the stew cold since the heat crystal was not working and filled a wooden bowl with food and decided to reuse the spoon used to cook it. He went to his bed and sat on it as he ate and took a quick glance at the harpy dude on the bed next to his. He considered if Don could help him, but decided not to since he did not want to be called a pervert and then having to find a new home.

As he chewed on the stew that tasted fine cold, Atsidas decided that the best thing to do was demanding a raise. He was a hard worker, he deserved one.

***

After being laughed out of Mr. Yarrow’s office, Atsidas sighed and went to join Rosalio in cleaning tables before the Pie House would open for customers.

“What’s the matter with you?” The black-haired satyr was about to dry the washed chairs with a rag.

“... I asked the boss for a raise.” Atsidas took a rag from the bucket of water next to Rosalio.

“HA!” The young sheep-man tried his best not to make a stupid smirk as he covered his mouth. “Sorry, sorry...”

Atsidas just shrugged and whipped the tables in the restaurant.

“Seriously, I’m sorry.” Rosalio took a dry rag. “What’s the matter, money trouble?”

Atsidas hesitated. He liked Rosalio, but he didn’t know him that well. “It’s... private.”

“Fair, fair. None of my beeswax.” Rosalio took a glance at Atsida’ built. He came to the conclusion that the tusked green-skinned guy could do well in the Undersea Temptress. “But, ah... I know...” The satyr’s eyes flacked left and right to see if they actually were alone. Then he stepped closer to the orc and lowered his voice. “... I know a place where you could make some quick cash.”

Atsidas stopped moping and blinked. He looked at Rosalio. “What? Where?”

“See, you can’t tell anyone, I’m not really suppose to tell anyone, I risk getting my cute wooly tailed kicked for this, and if you go there, don’t mention that I told you, but... You know the Undersea Temptress?”

“The tavern at the other end of town?”

“Yeah. You know what coronet style is?”

***

Idun the Half-Elf was the owner and bartender of the tavern named the Undersea Temptress, a shady little establishment near the docks. Shad her long red hair cover most of the left side of her head so you couldn’t see the nasty scar that was where a pointy ear had once been. She cleaned a mug with a rag as she stood behind the bar counter. She studied the young orc with the one eye she had left. “Well... You are a tall shit. But you ever been up fighting?”

Atsidas scratched the back of his head. “I got sent to wrestling lessons by my parents when I was ten. For like... a year or so?”

Idun narrowed her eye. “Aha...”

“AND, I have three older siblings, so there’s that.”

“Ouch.” Idun ginned. “So you know how to take a punch and throw one as well, eh? Good enough. You got two coronets?”

Atsidas took two coins out of his pocket. “Yeah. Why?”

“Because I sure as hell ain’t trust you enough to give you two of mine.” Idun leaned over the counter to see if she could spot the satyr who practically lived in the Mermaid after he had been told his boxing career would go nowhere. “Yo, Hector! Want to introduce a newcomer to two-crown fighting?!”

The satyr Hector finished his beer and burped. He had a pair of impressive swirled horns and was dressed in a shirt without sleeves to show off his arms. He was one of those satyrs who did not wear pants, something that was considered rude by most. The creatures in the tavern stood up and shoved chairs and tables towards the walls as they knew a fight was about to start. One of the tavern workers, a goblin, took a piece of chalk and drew a white line on the floor and disappeared in a small cloud of smoke and reappeared sitting on the counter. Next to the goblin was now a big jar that Idun had placed on the counter to collect the coronet coins the creatures would bet on the brawl.

Idun had a piece of paper ready to note bets. “Awright, you pieces of puke! We got usself a brawl! Hector versus the newcomer orc Albert! First bugger to drop a coin lose! Place your bets, ladies and gents!”

“My name is Atsidas, but some call me-”

“Don’t give a shit, kid.” Idun pushed Atsidas so he would go toward the chalk line on the floor. “Win and I might. Now, hold a coin in each hand and make fists. Rest should be obvious.”

Atsidas answer was a shrug as he then stood in front of Hector with his fists raised in order to awkwardly guard his face. He waited for a start signal of some sort, but instead got a fist on the left side of his head.

***

Agnes the Centaur stood by the table in her kitchen and waited for Connie to join her for breakfast. The warm bread was about to get cold as her human foster child finally came and took a seat and made a sandwich with cheese. “Sorry, I had to pee.”

“By the  Unknown Architects, is your bladder leaking, girl?” The elderly horse-lady looked concerned at the very hungry human who devoured her bread and cheese as if her life depended on it. “As a matter of fact, you seem to have been sick in general for a month or so. You spend too much time in the outhouse, you get tired, you are queasy... Maybe you should go see a healer-”

“Trust me, I have.” Connie did her best to not snap at Agnes, easier said than done as her chest felt sore. “It’s some sort of influenza, the healer says I should just walk it off.”

Agnes tilted her head. “I don’t think that’s how influenza works, sweety-”

“Well, the healer says it does. I forgot my apron upstairs.” After making her bad excuse to leave, Connie went upstairs, making it impossible for the horse-woman to physically reach her.

Sitting on her bed, Connie took in a deep breath and then moaned as her body felt uncomfortable in general. She massaged her temples and then finally realized that her window was open. Connie thought this was weird as she was sure she had shut it before going downstairs, but she found it likely that she had just forgotten to do so given her current state of discomfort.

But then she noticed a small bag on the floor. She picked it up and opened it. It was filled with coronets. There was no note attached to it since orcs did not read or write.

Connie rolled her eyes. “Gods dammit, Sid!”

***

Hector the Satyr sat at a table at the back of the Mermaid tavern and glared at the creatures who made a circle around the orc who had become the patron’s favorite fighter since he had beat up Hector two weeks ago.

The creatures who spectated the fight, most of them having had one drink too many, yelled at Atsidas to get his head into the fight as the humanoid salamander-man Bartholomew the Grindylow was mercilessly pummeling the young orc.

Atsidas did not know much about grindylows. He didn’t know that the reason to why they were so strong were that these salamander-men where born to be able to live and move under sea. He did not know that sea creatures were not allowed to participate in any sport held on land. He didn’t know that the reason to why Bartholomew’s punches had so much weight behind them was because he could use his tail as an extra leg. But what Atsidas did know as he guarded his face was that sea creatures did not handle sweating very well.

As Bartholomew was panting due to not being used to fighting anyone playing defensive against him, Atsidas planted a fist on his flat nose. Bartholomew tried to use his tail to make the orc trip, but Atsidas had learned most of the cheap tricks used in the Mermaid by now and stepped on the tip of said tail as he made his fist connect with the grindylow’s liver area. This resulted in the sea-monster tripping and losing his grip around one of the two coins he held in each hand, meaning he had lost the match.

The patrons of the bar clapped at their champ as Atsidas made a sigh of relief and simply dropped the coins that he had held so firm that marks were left on the palms of his hands.

“Bloody hell, kid.” Idun grinned as she poured the young orc a drink as he sat on a stool next to the bar counter to catch his breath. “Have on on the house! I knew the moment you stepped inside my joint that you were a tough green bugger, I just knew it-”

“Yeah, sure.” Atsidas took the cup and swallowed the burning liquid. Idun offered him a rug which he took and dried his sweaty face with. “Cash, please.”

Idun placed a small leather bag filled with coronets on the counter. “Speaking of money, some rich broad said she wanted a word with you. She sits at the other end of the room.”

Atsidas stopped counting the coins in the bag. “About what?”

The eye-patched elf grinned. “Perhaps she needs you as her gardener since you have such delicate and gentle hands?”

“Fuuuunny.” Atsidas walked across the room, being clapped on the shoulder and congratulated by a few, though most of the creatures had turned their attention to a short plump harpy singing while a spindly elf played on a fiddle.

Atsidas looked for the so-called rich broad, then spotted on he was sure fit the title as she was female as well as had an awful lot of jewelry on her. She was dressed in a black fur coat

Atsidas hesitated joining her at her table as he noticed the snakes for hair. The gorgon smiled as she noticed Atsidas and pointed toward an empty chair. Atsidas decided despite his better judgement to take a seat at the gorgon's table. “Ah... hey... ma'am.”

“Please, Veronica.” She poured herself a glass of red whine. “I saw your fight, you got some moves. They tell me you the balls of a lion, kid.”

Atsidas scratched the back of his head as he evaded eye contact. “I, ah, I never met a lion, so I wouldn’t know.”

“HA!” The snake-woman grinned as she sniffed in the scent of her wine. “So, you have a stage name?”

“Atsidas.”

“Naw, kid. Not a name. A stage name. What do folks around here call you?”

“Well...” Atsidas shrugged. “Sometimes, when someone is pissed at me, they call me stuff like that tall green shit.”

“Heh, doesn’t exactly command respect, knowwhatimsayin?“ Veronica took a sip of the blood-colored liquor. “See, I been out of town since before you could wipe your own green ass, and I used to run a pretty good fight club. But to get back in business, I need some brawlers.”

Atsidas looked up from the table and forced himself to look Veronica in the eyes covered by a pair of black glasses. “You offering me a job?”

Veronica finished her glass of whine as each snake-head of her hair wiggled their tongues at him. “Sure. And I pay better than one-eye over there.” Veronica nodded toward Idun who was dragging drunk satyr to the door and then planted her right foot on said satyr’s tailed behind. “But you need a stage name, something that got presence, ya dig?”

Atsidas tilted his head. “Presents? Like gifts?”

Veronica rolled her eyes. “Eh, fuhgeddaboudit. Hmm...” She scratched the chin of one of her snakes. “Let’s see... tall green shit... Green... Hehe, got it.” She patted Atsidas on the shoulder, startling the young orc. “How about we call you... Green Plague?”

***

Connie decided that after finding a bag with 2000 coronets at her window ledge that enough was enough and went to the less fancy part of town to find Atsidas and tell him to knock it off. Whatever he was doing to get that sort of money was not something she was interested in even being involved with, not even directly.

She had been pregnant for two months without anyone noticing. That is, Connie very much noticed as she felt bloated and her breasts felt weird. She was pissed for understandable reasons, but her mood swings made what was bad worse.

She had first gone to the Pie House to try catch him there, but going to the store manager after claiming she needed to make an complaint about some orc who worked there, she had been told that the only orc employee that had worked for them had quit his job some weeks ago.

So she instead went to his home. Unwise since she had tried since they met to not be seen with Atsidas in public, but she was annoyed, felt sick and was somehow hungry at the same time, so her sense of reason was a bit pressed at the time. She knocked on the door to Adsidas’ apartment. The door was opened by Don, Adsidas’ roommate and a pheasant-type harpy. He held a bucket of water that smelled like soap.

The bird looked at the brown-skinned creature, slightly startled. “What do yer want?”

Connie narrowed her eyes. “I need to talk to the tall green shit you live with.”

“He don’t live here no more.” Don tried to close the door, but Connie blocked the door with her foot.

“Then where is he now?”

Don blinked as he gathered his nerves. “I ain’t tell yer shit. Beat it, bitch.”

Connie’s eyebrow twitched. “What?”

Don straighten his back to look taller. “Yer heard me. Piss off.”

With the bucket of water, firm arms that had knead plenty of dough and magic that allowed her control over water, Connie introduced Don to the concept of a swirly whirly. Don had transformed his arms to wings as he basked with them to get free, but they were no help as Connie had a foot planted on his back as she held his head. 

Connie pulled up Don’s face by the feathers on his head. The water in the bucket was still swirling. “Still a tough guy?”

“I don’t know where he is, I don’t know where he is!” Don coughed and blinked franticly. The feathers on his head were heavy and wet. “I’m sorry I called you a bitch, human! That was SOOO uncalled for!”

“Then where is he now?” Connie rattled Don’s head.

“How should I know?! He moved out some weeks ago, left with a bag of his junk, no explanation or nothin’! Him and that black sheep dude took his stuff and-”

“Goat?”

“Year, you know, a satyr. With black wool. Atsi told me he had to move and that satyr helped him-”

“Tell on me to the city guard and you will regret it, birds for brains.” Connie let go of Don’s head and stood up from the floor as Don was still on his knees. Connie left the room, angry at herself for losing her temper as she went to the Pie House where Atsidas worked.

***

Rosalio the Satyr hummed as he tapped his hoof on the wooden floor while he ate his dinner before leaving work for the day. One of the perks of being an employee in the Pie House was the free pie. Sure, it was leftover pie, but second-hand food was still food. And he needed all the free food he could get his hands on as he had accidentally spent too many coronets on his new jacket.

But if Atsidas kicked ass then he would acquire a fairly large sum of coins tonight.

While enjoying his free meal, Rosalio did not pay attention to the human watching him intensively. She wore a shawl around her hair and had a hefty appetite, practically ate for two.

After finishing his food and having changed from his work uniform to his newly bought jacket, Rosalio left the restaurant cheerfully. Connie the Human followed him.

Rosalio was kind of a moron, so he didn’t notice that he was being tailed. Good thing since Connie was not great at it.

The streets of Onyxville were illuminated by oil lamps, but not great ones. Made the end of town they had gone to seem murky in every sense of the word. Connie kept her distance as she watched Rosalio stop in front of a building that seemed like it had seen better days. Had it not been this dark, she would have been able to read the sign over the door that said Hard Knocks Gym. In front of said door stood a rather tall Grindylow who resembled a fire-belly newt. Said grindylow wore a blouse with a neckline that showed the top of her red area on her chest.

Connie couldn’t hear what Rosalio was saying to the grindylow, but he was close enough to the light from a lamp so she could see the satyr laugh and move his hands as if he was telling a joke or a funny story. The sea-creature looked at him unimpressed. Rosalio then gave up what he was doing and gave the grindylow a small sack, which resulted in her opening the door to the gym for him and she quickly slammed it as he stepped inside, almost hitting his little tail.

Connie then stepped closer to the grindylow, unsure what to say. “Hello. I... Well, the thing is-”

“Okay, let me stop you right there.” The grindylow held up one of her scaly hands. “If you as much as think about trying to sweet-talk me into giving you a discount, then forget it. Some furball already tried to. It’s 100 coronets or piss off.”

“Right. No discount, one second...“ Connie collected the amount of coins from her purse, no idea what she was paying for. The black salamander-creature weighted the coins in her hand and then opened the door and gave Connie a light push and then slammed the door.

Connie found herself inside a large open space illuminated by light crystals on the ceiling. A large group of creatures stood at the middle of it and yelled and cheered and she heard the sound of a gong. They were around a boxing ring, watching two creatures beat the shit out of each other. Before this horde stood a dove-styled harpy wearing a multi-colored dress made of sequins held a sign shaped like an arrow that said Place Ur Bets Here. The arrow’s head pointed toward a table were an elf in a black dress accepted coins and handed a blue or red piece of paper to creatures who stood in a line, looking impatient as they turned their heads toward the fight.

Connie decided to get a closer look of what was the center of attention. She managed to push and shove her way through the creatures till she could get a better look at what was going on inside the boxing ring.

And then she spotted Atsidas inside the right with a pair of red gloves and a black eye.

“Aw, hells no!” Connie couldn’t recall being this angry as she watched Atsidas exchanging blows with a bison-styled female minotaur.

“I know, right?!” said a centaur who had a much clearer view of the fight because of his height. “I paid to see a blood bath, where’s the dang blood?”

Connie blinked. “Wait, what?”

The centaur soon got what he wanted as the minotaur, after planting a hook on Atsidas sore eye, lowered her head and stabbed the young orc in the chest. Atisdas screamed in pain as he retaliated by hitting the minotaur in the back of her head.

“Holy shit!” Connie was horrified.

“I know, right?!” The centaur raised his arms over his head and clapped. “Now we're getting somewhere!”

The creatures clapped and whistled while Connie felt as if she was gonne puke. Atisdas and the minotaur mercilessly took turns hitting each other in the face. Atsidas elbowed the bull-lady on the forehead, resulting in her taking two wobbly steps backward as she started to bleed from the cut the orc had just given her. She lowered her head and tried to ram Atsidas who managed to get hold of the horns of his opponent with his gloved hands and slammed the minotaur’s head into one of the corners of the ring. Atsidas stepped away and as the minotaur stood up and was about to turn, the young orc threw as many punches he could while practically gasping.

There were some boos and some cheers around the ring as he had forced the minotaur against the ropes. But most of the spectators started to chant: “GREEN PLAGUE! GREEN PLAGUE! GREEN PLAGUE!”

After getting a last punch, this time directly on the chin, the minotaur fell to the canvas, spread out on the canvas and gasping. Atsidas looked as if he was about to fall as well but managed to lift one fist over his head as the spectators still chanted his stage name. His face looked like crap.

“That dumb bastard!” Connie was furious but also felt great relief.

“I know, right?!” The centaur looked annoyed as he ripped his betting slip in half. “I just lost 1000 slaps because of that green shit.”

Connie was relieved that Atsidas had survived the fight. Because that meant she had not been robbed the opportunity to kill him for his idiocy.

***

After washing his face and getting dressed and wrapped a bandage around his chest where his wound from the horn was, Atsidas left the gym with Rosalio as two rooster-styled harpies were duking it out in the ring. As they got out on the streets, it started to rain.

“That was awesome!” Rosalio slapped Atsidas on the back.

Atsidas looked uncomfortable. “Please don’t do that, everything hurts. So, the money?”

“Sure, man. Sure.” Rosalio gave him a leather pouch. “This is your cut of the money I bet on you.”

“Not so loud, someone could hear you.” Atsidas hissed. “If someone knew I bet on myself I would be screwed.”

“Eh, it’s not like you fix the fights, you just bet on winning.” Rosalio gave the orc a light pat on the shoulder. “See ya when I see ya.”

As the satyr skipped away, Atsidas turned his head to look at the creature who had tailed him as soon as he had left the Hard Knocks Gym, unsure if he should keep pretending not to see her. Then he sighed. “Yeah, I know it’s you, Connie.”

The human remained some feet away, standing behind one of the poles that held a street lamp.

“Look, ah... we could go to my place? Maybe talk? I live not far from here.”

Connie didn't answer at first. Then, she walked past him and quickly whispered. “Keep your distance from from me as we walk.”

Atsidas watched Connie walk in front of him and realized she was dry despite the rain swince her magic made the raindrops vapor above her person. “Ah... shouldn’t I go in front?”

Connie stopped up. It took her a sec to realize he was right as she walked back and kept her distance while following Atsidas.

***

“Screw you!”

Connie had just entered Atsidas’ new apartment after being sure no one would see her go into the young orc’s home.

“Nice to see you, too...” Atsidas was drying himself with a rag. Getting a cold from rain was a luxury he couldn’t afford. “Want some tea.”

“No, I don’t want some bloody tea.” Connie took a glance around. It was a three-room apartment, it seemed. They were in a big room with a table and some cushions around it used for sitting. A big sack was dangling from the ceiling and it looked slightly worn. There was a mattress next to it with a blanket. A pair of boxing gloves and some training weights were next to the mattress.

Atsidas had a bucket with water he used to wet a small rag he placed on his sore eye. “I don’t really have any food, I just buy something from the restaurant next door, I could go pick some food for us-”

“I don’t want food!” Connie said annoyed. “And I don’t want your money! Especially not if you get them from getting brain damage!”

“Look, how else was I gonna get money for you? I’m tall and I’m pretty good at hurting others-”

“I don’t give a shit, stop coming to my place and stop giving me money, I don’t want to be associated with your shit.”

Atsidas sighed as he wrung his rag. “I keep telling, you, I’m careful-”

Connie kicked one of the gloves that Atsidas had left on the floor. “Why do you have to make this so difficult?! You don’t owe me anything, okay? I don’t want you to get your face battered just because you feel bad about knocking me up. It’s my fault that you get hurt because you want to play gentlema-”

“I’m doing it for myself, okay?!”

Connie blinked. It was the first time the orc boy had raised his voice at her. Heck, she couldn’t recall him raising his voice at all.

“Look... it’s not about anyone being in anyone’s debt. Or, you know, you are not in my debt. I just...” Atsida blushed as he looked at Connie. “Is it really so bad that I want to take care of you?”

“Ah, shit...” Connie mumbled as she sighed.

“Maybe... maybe I’m just doing it for myself, right? Not because I want to feel good about myself, just because... because I don’t want it to have been just us fooling around.”

Connie covered her face a her fingertips tried to drill through her skull. “Don’t make this harder than it already is...”

“Because... because what we had meant something. Or it did to me, I don’t need you to feel that way about me. I... you know...” Atsidas shrugged as he grimaced. “I love you, Kahaani the Human.”

Connie felt as if her entire body was about to bust. She had not felt this pissed and scared since she found out she was pregnant.

“ I have a new fight next week. A big one. This time I’m being paid 5000 coronets. And I thought, well... You think there could be enough money so... I could get a ticket for a boat sailing to Mino as well?”

Connie didn’t say anything.

“I mean... if that’s okay with you. I just thought I could help out when you get more pregnant... wait, is that what it is called? Or is it pregnanter or-”

Connie made it impossible for Atsidas to sound even dumber as she looped her arms around his neck in order to pull his head down to hers and kissed him. Confused for a split second, Atsidas then locked his arms around Connie and lifted her up as their lips were still connected.

“OUCH! You cut me!”

“What?!” Atsidas panicked and let go of the human girl. “What did I do? What did I do?!”

“Your tusk, it cut me.” Connie glared at her own feet as she nudged the tiny wound she had just received on her cheek.

“I-I-I I’m sorry!” Atsidas covered his tusks with his hands as if that should somehow help. “I forgot how thin human skin is compared to... I’m sorry.”

Both of them felt incredible embarrassed. But only for a moment as they went back to making out.

***

As Atsidas took his pants off, he suddenly realized something. "Ah, SHIT! I don't have any condoms!" He pulled his pants up. "Hold on, I will go to the butcher and get-"

"Who cares?" Connie lied on his mattress completely naked and rolled her eyes. "You already knocked me up, genius."

"Ah... oh." It took a second for the orc to let the logic sink in. "Oh. Oh yeah!" And then he dropped his pants.

***

Atsidas ran a hand through Connie's black hair while his other arm was wrapped around her back.

Connie lied on Atsidas' left side, resting her head on his chest, enjoying the feel of his warm, rough yet smooth green hide. She placed her hand on his right shoulder, stroking it. She could feel the bandage that was covering his injury from the fight.

Connie pulled herself free and sat up. Atsidas looked confused. "What's wrong?" He asked, nervously.

Connie sighed. “Okay, look... if this is going to work-”

“Yeah?!” Atsidas both blinked rapidly and swallowed.

“You have to promise me something.” She gave the orc a stern look. “And you have to say yes right away. If you even as much as hesitate-”

“Anything!” Atsidas smiled like a happy child. “I will do anything.”

“We do need the money. So next week is the last time you do this shit. We take the cash, leave the kingdom with the first boat we can find and you will never get in fights again.”

“Yeah. No problem.”

And then, Connie smiled. It was the first genuine smile she had made for a long time.

One week later...

Whatever hopes Connie might have had for starting a new life on Mino was shot down with a harpoon as she from ringside watched a human girl obliviate Atsidas’ face and kept beating him despite him looking half dead.

***

After Atsidas had been dragged out of the ring while still being glassy-eyed, Connie waited a moment before following the two big guys who had picked him up. They had gone to a back door and thrown him outside the building. Connie stood behind a staircase and waited for them to leave. Once they had, Connie went out the door and found Atsidas being left in the dirt.

“Sid?! Sid, say something!” She managed to lift the heavy orc up enough so he could lean against a wall and somewhat sit up. “Sid, are you okay?!”

The orc just breath in an unsettling way. Connie was unsure if he actually looked at her or if it was just an empty stare. His face was a mess, she almost puked looking at him. She tried to get him to stand, but even if she could then she realized putting this sort of strain on herself was not a great idea as she was pregnant.

“This is a load of shit...” Connie was stressing out as she pulled her own hair. "Shit. Shitshitshit..." She was starting to cry. “Wait here, okay? I have an idea.”

She went inside the building and realized that was a dumb thing to say as Atsidas was most likely unable to lift a finger or barely breath.

She got near to the ring again and started to go looking for satyrs with black wool. The creatures around paid her no mind as they were busy watching the harpy in the ring called Sweeper live up to her name.

She finally spotted Rosalio the Satyr who stood up and was swearing as it looked like he was gonna lose a second bet. He got startled as someone grabbed him by the shoulder. He turned and saw Connie. “What the- what do you want, human?”

Connie gave him a mean glare. Her cheeks were still wet from tears. “You. Help me. Now!”

“Help you with what exac... hey, don’t I know you from somewh-”

“Not important. Atsidas needs a healer. Help me get him to town.”

“Ah...” Rosalio scratched the wool on the back of his head. “Look, I don’t get what your deal is, but helping him would not be... smart.”

Connie’s eyes looked like they could burn a house down.

“See, these fights are not that... legal. So if we help him and someone is like Hey, this orc looks like he was in an underground fight club I could be in trouble since some might think I was at an underground-”

Rosalio got water splashed in the face. He could feel something cold poking his neck. He realized that it was ice in the shape of small arrow-heads.

Rosita blinked. “I know who you are! You are that crazy human bitch who can magic water and was trying to kill Atsi and me!”

Connie narrowed her eyes. “And if you don’t help me getting the orc to a healer right now, then I will freeze the blood in your veins.”

Rosalio dropped his betting slips. “You can do shit like that?!”

She couldn't.

“Damn right I can. Come on.” She had a firm grip around his wrist as she pulled him along to go help Atsidas as everyone else in the hall cried for blood.

***

Atsidas woke up with a terrible headache. He could only see out of one eye as the other one had been covered by bandages. Most of his face had been covered by bandages that had been dipped in healing salvia made from mushrooms. He was unsure why he lied in a bed he couldn’t recognize and was in a room that was far cleaner than any room he had ever been inside.

He was for a moment unsure why he had gotten hurt to begin with. But then he recalled the freckled human girl who had beat the ever-loving shit out of him. He turned his head and noticed a window. The sun was up, so he had been some hours since the fight. His entire body felt like an open wound as he managed to sit up.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Atisdas saw that a male elf in a white tunic entered the room. On the chest of the tunic was sewn a green snake with red spots coming from it’s mouth. The spots were suppose to look like three red roses. The snake symbol meant the elf was a professional healer. “You need to lie down and let the enchanted salvia do its work on you. You have suffered a severe case of head trauma, and that’s putting it lightly. The body needs to rest, you are lucky that you aren’t braindead.” The healer looked at Atsidas as if he was something slimy that was dirtying the bed. The elf then turned his head toward the door. “You can come in now. Your... friend... is awake.”

As the elf left the room, Connie came in. She looked terrible, as if she had not slept at all. She had not. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Atsidas didn’t know what else to say. He lied down but leaned himself enough up so he could look at Connie. She looked somehow happy and miserable at the same time. “You wanna sit, or...?”

Connie took a seat at a chair next to the bed. “I told them you got hurt by some muggers. Not sure they are buying it.”

“Okay...” Atsidas felt ashamed.

“I mean, they don’t really have to know how you got hurt, right? I pay them to fix you. Done.” Connie made a half-assed laugh.

There was a long minute of awkward silence.

“Wait... how much does this cost?” Atsidas asked as he placed a finger on the bandages around his head.

“Um... I don’t think I wanna tell you that.”

“Aw, Connie, noooo...” Atsidas groaned, partly due to still feeling pain all over his head.

“Don’t worry, I still have some coronets left-”

“I knew the risk, okay? I knew I might get beaten to a pulp, you weren’t suppose to use that cash on getting me a healer, you didn’t owe me that.”

Connie made a bitter smile. “It’s not about anyone being in anyone’s debt. Is it really so bad that I want to take care of you?”

Atsidas narrowed his one open eye. “Hey... wasn’t that what I told you when-”

“Yes, genius.” Connie chuckled as she dried her eyes. “Gods, Sid. You are so-”

“You two should be ashamed!”

Connie and Atsidas turned their attention toward an elderly satyr who stood by the door and glared at them through her thick glasses. She were dressed in a gown worn by patients. “Disgusting. Perverts!” She then left.

“Yeah, it’s a small hospital.” Connie sighed. "Some healer noticed the bump on my stomach and... well, you know, they can put two and two together.” She shrugged. “And I guess gossip spreads fast here.”

Atsidas was unsure what to say. So he said nothing and moved himself to the left side of the bed and patted on the mattress. Connie accepted the invitation and got in the bed and hugged him as he hugged her back.

“I think I have to get out of town as soon as possible.” Connie kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah, you probably should.”

"By the way...” Connie tightened her hug. “I love you too.”

#Atsidas the orc #atsidas #connie #connie the human #royal punch #connie x atsidas #atsidas x connie #orc #fantasy #Kahaani #Kahaani the human #Veronica #Veronica the Gorgon

[shouldhavebeenpersephone]

AAAAAAAAAAH One Way by S.J. Jordan was SO GOOD! Going for the sequel next but pleasssseee do you have any show or movie recs??

AAAAAAAAAA I am so glad you enjoyed it! Feel free to scream at me about it ANY time. I think I may have to go and reread it now.

In regards to other recommendations... oooooh boy. I have so many. This took me a while because I was considering if this would be respectful to the strikes, but we haven't been told to stay away from any streaming services etc. yet, so after removing a scab from the recommendation list I decided to post it. Apologies in advance for the tangents I go on for every single recommendation. Some of these have been quite popular so you might know of them but it still felt worth mentioning.

Under the cut is a non-exhaustive list of media in no particular order that makes me want to eat glass. Take a shot every time I say heartbreaking.

Movies

Lord of the Rings 1/2/3 - I feel no need to explain myself. If you haven't seen this please for the love of god get your hands on the extended versions and watch them. Then read the books and watch the movies again. Rinse and repeat.

How to Train Your Dragon and How to Train Your Dragon 2 - You read that right, NOT the third movie. In this house the third movie doesn't exist. This is an animated movie and sequel based on the book it shares a name with by Cressida Cowel. The movie follows protagonist Hiccup who lives in a town of Vikings who hunt and kill dragons. He finds out that he can't kill a dragon he has caught, and is surprised when the dragon won't kill him either. His curiosity gets the best of him and he returns to watch the dragon in it's hideout, and a beautiful friendship emerges from a very messy situation. It doesn't happen often that a movie is better than the book, especially if the source material has been changed so drastically, but HTTYD pulls it off. The first movie was also my introduction to fandom, and both movies have an incredibly special place in my heart. Fun fact: I actually am the OP of a pretty popular fandom headcannon and it makes me giggle every time I see it be mentioned in the HTTYD tag.

Inception - Obligatory action movie. Heist movie except sci-fi and also everyone is queer and sexy (no it's not canon but it is canon to me). Conman Leo DiCaprio breaks into rich boy Cilian Murphy's dreams to convince him to give up his father's business in exchange for getting his criminal file wiped clean so he can see his kids again. I love sad dads and I love mind games and I love high stakes and I love time fuckery and I love mentally ill women. Watch it if you also do.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire - Perfect. Showstopping. Incredible. Does not pass the reverse Bechdel test. It is so incredibly hearthbreaking and soft and tender. Period drama with lesbians. Painter Noémi Merlant is hired to pretend to be a companion to Adèle Haenel while secretly painting her portrait to be sent off to a man she is being married off to. There is betrayal and trust and community and lust and it's so gorgeous to look at. The attention to detail is incredible and I want to kiss Céline Sciamma for bringing this movie to my screen. I cry every time I watch it. Queer heartache done right.

The Lake House - I don't know if this movie is actually that good but to me it is perfect. Contractor Keanu Reeves moves into a gorgeous lake house (my dream home) and starts receiving letters addressed to the previous owner and doctor Sandra Bullock. When he gets a letter from her with her new address and sees it's to a building that's still in development, the two skeptics come to the conclusion they are living years apart and their post box is some sort of portal. They fall in love, things go wrong, things go right, and there is a dog!

Series

Orphan Black - Listen. Listen. LISTEN. Tatiana Maslany. Wow. She plays a dozen (if not more) clones and I still have a hard time believing they weren't all different people. Trouble kid forced to be an adult because she is a mother sees herself jump in front of a train and uhhhh has issues with that. She then discovers there are so many others like her, that they were a part of a cloning project and that she is a bit of a special case. There is a lot of plot I cannot summarize but it's deliciously queer (one of the main character clones is a lesbian as well as two prominent gay side characters and other minor queer and trans characters). Found family, questions of what it means to love and of morality, some wonderfully written character arcs and a decently satisfying end. First few episodes can be a bit hard to get into, but Tatiana Maslany is incredible and the show is totally worth it.

Adventure Time - This is a big comfort show for me, not only because Marceline and Princess Bubblegum were one of my first queer ships ever, but also because I enjoy this show just as much as an adult. No real main story line, you could watch individual episodes and still follow it. There are some heavy themes, but they are always handled so wonderfully and with a true sense of childlike wonder, and it makes me have faith in humanity again. Finn the Human and Jake the Dog go on adventures together in a gigantic fantasy land and meet lots of interesting figures. Even the evil characters get attention, compassion, screen time, and dignity. It's heartbreaking and beautiful and so so so good.

The Mentalist - Sorry, there is a cop show in here. Simon Baker is an ex 'psychic' grieving father and husband working as a consultant with the CBI. His boss, Robin Tunney, is so in love with him she looks stupid. It's basically a man who is too smart for his own good running around, being charming or extremely annoying, and an exhausted tough-love type of woman running around fixing his messes. Oh and they catch killers. I am a Patric Jane kinnie, sue me. Jane and Lisbon are also very Griddlehark to me, kind of a what could have been if they had been friends from the beginning.

Russian Doll - Have I ever mentioned how much I love Natasha Lyonne? This is a kind of sexier Groundhog Day, where Natasha Lyonne keeps dying and waking up in the bathroom of her friend throwing her a birthday party. She loses her mind in the midst of gorgeous scenes, seriously beautiful cinematography, and in sexy ass outfits. If you like mind fuckery, cinematography, and sexy women this is the show for you. It sure is the show for me.

Arcane - Speaking of gorgeous visuals, Arcane is a beast of a show with such an incredible and unique look. Also so many hot and/or gay women. There are a few men too, they're okay, I do like me a pathetic little guy so it works. But WOMEN. So many powerful, intelligent, cunning, courageous women. I have to admit that I remember very little of the storyline, but I do know that they took 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl', said "yes and", and made a truly incredible and multi dimensional character with Jinx, with fully fleshed out motivations and morals (or lack thereof), understandable but still properly wrong actions, and such incredible story building around her progressing mental troubles. Must watch.

The Sandman - This one is not technically an obsession I have ever had, but it is a great watch and rewatch. I adore Vivienne Acheampong as Lucienne and I adore Gwendoline Christie as Lucifer and I adore Kirby Howell-Baptiste as Death. I also love pretty much anything that comes out of Neil Gaiman's brain so that helps. Great casting is what makes this show a winner for me. Morpheus/Dream gets locked up by some insane guy trying to capture death to bring back his son and he spends the rest of the show dealing with the consequences of being gone for decades. Tom Sturridge is a wet cat of a man and I do like that a lot as well. Very pretty cinematography seals the deal.

Misc.

The Magnus Archives - Podcast wildcard. Horror and paranormal and delicious. I love voice actors so much and archivists are hot. Becoming something you didn't choose and dealing with the repercussions of no longer really being human is so !!!!!!! I love it when people just go through the horrors. Everyone's voices scratch something in my brain that nothing else can reach. Brilliant piece of media.

What Remains of Edith Finch - Game wildcard. Semi-sandbox semi-railroad narrative. Gorgeous visual representations of so many difficult things in life. Particularly, the bit where one of Edith's family members loses himself to his own imagination is so gorgeous and heartbreaking. I have written essays on the cinematography of this game. It is so beautiful. Whether you lay it or watch a playthrough, you have to witness this.

MISSED RECOMMENDATIONS ARE HERE

There you have it.

I am sure there is more and I am sure I will be hitting my head on a wall after remembering something I forgot to include. Anyway- enjoy!

#Ash Answers

[thepulta]

Everyone knew there was coal at the foot of Hawk’s Peak. Waste heaps were strewn across the valley like oversized ant-mounds and ancient cart tracks wore deep ruts back to the Marena lowlands. Drifters liked to set up camps, but they never lasted. Too dry. Too rough. And coal hadn't been valuable anyway until some boy figured out how to make iron harder. Then John Greystone came to Hawk's Peak with his wife and his shotgun and gold from the bank.

Gin Reiner was a drifter with a small pit there and his own mules. John shot Gin Reiner on a spring morning. When Gin's boys approached him after the service- Well, nobody had seen the boys after that. But rumor had it they tailed it back to the lowlands. No use staying where there wasn’t ready money.

But John Greystone stayed, and his wife Ellen. With his loan from the bank, he laid down gleaming steel rails that wound through the narrow gorges back home. Men came on the railroad; some women, but not many, and at the prime age of 28, Ellen Greystone had two boys.

The eldest son had a good head on his shoulders; went back to the lowlands to get a piece of paper for machines, and he married a girl from the hills with coal in her blood. The youngest worked the mine. He was quick with his hands and quicker with his boss’s whistle and by the time John Greystone died, there were over one thousand people in Ellenville covered in coal dust when the day-whistle blew.

Once the eldest brother had his own John – John the III – the brothers knew about the ironstone in the hills just north of Ellenville’s valley and the town bloomed. It all became John III’s empire to run.

John III took a wife from the lowlands, a sweet little thing who loved the hills and wanted to escape the flat planes. However, she found the mountains of Ellenville to be dry, heartless, and her new husband too obsessed with building the Greystone legacy to worry about homemaking, or the homemaker; so Mrs. Martha Greystone found herself with three children and a mostly-empty manor. She named them John the IV, Rachel, and Mira. When they were old enough, John was set to the ironstone shafts. Rachel and Mira were deemed nimbler on the mostly-mechanized coal slopes.

The coal pit had grown like a canker on the south side of town. The first John Greystone had called it the Pothole Mine. They dug down 1000 feet in an open pit until the miners hit 50 feet of useless slatey rock and the coal vein dove deep into the earth. John III planned to dig after it eventually, but growing the pit west and east was easier and much more profitable. They stoped the sides of the pit, steam shovels biting fifty-foot staircases from the rock walls. Stoping was more an upgrade than feature inherent to the mine since men with picks had done the initial work, but it was important to keep the walls of the pit from collapsing. John II had emphasized it before he died. He had planned the stopes the whole length of the valley; fifty-foot steps were enough to keep the walls steady.

But he’d never considered rain, because it didn’t rain much in the Ellenville valley.

It rained three days and four nights until the valley smelled like wet silt and dirt and the water poured off the crusty ground into the Pothole mine. The pumps to keep water out of the mine bottom filled with cobbles and rubbish and had to be cleaned out with half a dozen steam shovels, day and night.

“Too much water,” Mira kept hearing the men say as they struggled into their galoshes for day shift. They hissed through their teeth when they looked out the window.

Usually, Mira and Rachel went with the shovel manager and sat with him for half the day, but Mira found the new steam shovels arriving on the train much more interesting. She stayed with her father, looking at the bright steel workings and checking off the parts on the list.

She remembered feeling the rumble underneath her feet before the bone-aching crack hit her ears. She remembered the boys and men at the shop turning a sickly olive color too – her father included. But John III did not turn green after they checked their shop stability; not when the day shifters returned with hollow faces and a few pieces of the bodies. He didn’t turn green when a boy Mira knew from across the street, her age, was brought up headless. He didn’t even turn green when what was left of Rachel was brought up, crushed against mangled machinery remains.

They buried her that Saturday, sky still weeping and half the town weeping with it. Six feet, no casket, because her body was half-engine.

The rest of them were Rachel’s ghosts, floating about the house with pale faces and red eyes. In her late-night waifish wander, Mira looked in her father’s office and saw his green face looking over the quarterly profits.

So the day of the rockfall was the last time Mira remembered being dressed in color.

#ellenville #mira greystone #black dresses

[mccabeguerrero83]

Considering A New Vehicle? These Tips Could Help

Want to buy a new car without the struggle typical of the purchasing process? You're not alone! This article has been written with you in mind, including advice from people who have purchased cars before without any struggle at all. Continue reading to find out how you can buy your car in a fun and easy manner. Do a little research before you enter the showroom. When you walk into a showroom, sticker prices are usually listed right on the cars. It is important to understand that all dealerships have some wiggle room from these prices. If you do your research online first, you can gain an understanding of how much the car you want is selling for you in your area. This will help you to understand how much room there is to negotiate down from sticker price, so that you get the deal you are really looking for. Take a good look at the underside of the vehicle. Try to keep your eyes peeled for signs of rust and erosion. A car can look great on the outside, but be falling apart underneath. If you see rust under the vehicle move on. This could mean a lot of repairs later on. When shopping for a new vehicle, consider all of your options. There are many used cars that have extremely low miles and rock bottom prices. The ones to look for are the ones that have been leased and returned. These cars have been serviced at the dealership and usually have plenty of factory warranty protection left. Try to avoid showing up at the dealership in an expensive car. If they see your expensive car, they will not consider your low offers, unless you plan to trade in your expensive car. Check the BBB rating of your local car dealers before you visit them. As you likely already know, car dealers can be less than honest. Save yourself from a lot of stress and expense by investigating how others feel about the car dealer. The time it takes is nothing compared to the time you can waste at a sheisty dealer. Before buying a car, consider the cost of insurance. If you are financing the car, you will probably need comprehensive coverage, in addition to liability protection. Some cars cost significantly more to insure than others. Avoid any surprises by asking your insurance company for a quote before you sign any paperwork. If you are trading your car in, take it to a detail shop and have the upholstery and carpets cleaned along with a wash and wax. Doing this one thing can usually net you several hundred dollars or more in trade-in value compared to a car that isn't clean. If you are shopping for a new car, you might want to leave your kids at home. They might have a good time going on a test drive or two, but they will usually end up being bored. This will make it difficult to focus on the task at hand and could possibly end up costing you money. Once you know how much you have to spend, find out about the cars within that range. Learn about the car itself, its miles per gallon, number of doors, trunk space, driver's reviews, safety record and how frequently it needs repairs on average. Assign each a rating and go for those at the top of the list. Take your time when buying a new car and do your homework. Do not be Window tinting to get up and walk away from a deal. Don't fall in love with a specific car. If the numbers the dealer is giving you are not what you want, just walk away. One important thing to keep in mind is the overall average value of cars in your country. By knowing the general value, you can see if the car lot where you are shopping is overcharging or not. If you feel all their prices are too high, simply move on to the next one. While you do have to put in some effort to make the car buying process simpler, it won't take a lot of work. Just use these tips and do what they say and you'll find buying a car is a piece of cake. Driving off the lot in a shiny new car is an exceptional feeling!

#Window tinting

[happinessalreadyincluded]

Mistakes to Avoid while Booking Best Vacation Homes

Vacations are important to unplug for a while. Having said that, a vacation sounds exciting, but it is a very daunting task to plan one. The fun of the vacation comes much later; first, there is too much stress of putting everything in place. One tiny mistake can spoil the entire vacation; thus, the stakes are high. 

Especially when it comes to finding quality vacation homes, no doubt there are so many sites like Airbnb and Trip-adviser that have helped people make their vacation planning a smoother process. The utilities & amenities are limited and on the expensive side. Apart from that, people do end up making a lot of mistakes while booking vacation homes. In this post, let us discuss the mistakes that you should avoid.

Not checking the security level of the Property:

You want to enjoy the vacation and release the stress, and an unsecure property is not the way to do it. You are traveling to an unknown location so do proper, full-fledged research before finalizing the property.

Get to know more about the neighborhood as much as you can by surfing the internet. Make sure the location of the property is a safe place. 

Not Checking about cleanliness and maintenance:

A clean and well-maintained place adds more excitement to the vacation. So, before booking a home, read the reviews and have a good look at the pictures. Do not be afraid to ask the host questions like how well the vacation house is maintained. Is it well sanitized, and is cleanliness up to the mark? Whether housekeeping services will be provided? You will not want to spoil your vacation by booking such a vacation home that offers not-so-great services. So, better inquire about cleanliness and services well in advance.

Not Caring if they are Offering food/drinks:

Vacations are fun, no doubt, but also expensive. So, it will be wise to book vacation homes that care for the guest's needs, including food. Make sure that the holiday home you are considering booking has stock Pantry offerings like Tea, Coffee, Microwave, Sugar, Salt, Water bottles, etc. The best vacation homes in the USA do care for these needs. Let’s be honest, food stalls and restaurant rates in tourist spots are high. 

These things are not hard to find, but it is always better if you are provided with them.

Not Caring About the Location:

Proximity to places of interest is of utmost & should be on your priority list. Choosing a location in far-flung areas will make no sense, and the fares for to-and-fro make a hole in your wallet. So before making the vacation house booking, makes a list of places you would like to visit & then choose the appropriate location accordingly.

Conclusion:

Of course, a lot of research and time is required to plan a perfect vacation. Better book the home from-‘Happiness already included’. They provide you with the finest proprieties in Florida, located perfectly with all the basic amenities. They have got all in order from the kitchen to the bedroom to the outdoor spaces. What is more amazing is that the proprieties are pet–friendly.

#naples vacation rentals beachfront #Happiness already included #naples houses for rent #best vacation homes in the USA #home rentals in florida #Vacation Rentals Properties

[sejersen81barber]

Top 5 Online Pharmacies For Affordable Prescription Medications

This weblog article is about on-line pharmacies for affordable prescription medications. The creator compares the highest 5 online pharmacies for affordable prescription drugs and evaluations every of their pros and cons.

The advantages of Shopping Online

Many persons are hesitant to buy for prescription medications online, because they imagine that the costs are too excessive. However, this is not always the case. In fact, a lot of the very best on-line pharmacies supply prescription medications at very low prices. One purpose why these pharmacies are ready to offer such low costs is as a result of they don’t must pay costly overhead prices. For instance, on-line pharmacies don’t should spend money on expensive warehouses or hire costly sales workers. Because of this they will go on their savings to their clients. Additionally, online pharmacies are able to compete with conventional pharmacies on value as a result of they don’t need to adjust to rules that conventional pharmacies do. For instance, conventional pharmacies are required to supply insurance coverage information to their prospects, while on-line pharmacies aren’t. This enables them to supply lower prices with out sacrificing high quality. Overall, there are a lot of the explanation why shoppers ought to consider purchasing for prescription medications on-line. The prices are sometimes very low, and the standard of the medications is often wonderful.

Things to Search for When Purchasing for Prescription Medications Online

When searching for an Online pharmacy Australia to buy prescription medications, there are a few things to bear in mind. First, be certain that the pharmacy is licensed by the state by which you reside. This is very important in case you are purchasing medications that aren't approved by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Second, make sure the pharmacy is reputable and has a very good observe document. Third, ensure to compare costs and discover the most affordable choice for your wants. Fourth, make sure you read the terms of service fastidiously earlier than making a purchase order. Fifth, all the time contact the pharmacy if in case you have any questions or issues.

Using a Prescription Service

There are a lot of online pharmacies that supply prescription medications at a fraction of the cost of traditional pharmacies. This is due to the increasing popularity of on-line pharmacy providers. Among the finest online prescription providers is ePocrates. This firm affords a wide number of prescription medications at affordable prices. ePocrates additionally has a wide range of payment options, including credit cards and PayPal. Another great online pharmacy is CVS Caremark. This firm affords a large variety of prescription medications and has a wide range of payment options, including credit cards, PayPal, and debit cards. If you are looking for an online pharmacy that provides a large collection of prescription medications, then it is best to take a look at Walgreens. This company presents greater than 8,000 prescription medications at inexpensive costs. Walgreens additionally has a wide range of cost options, together with credit playing cards and PayPal.

Conclusion

Many people don’t know that they can find affordable prescription medications on-line. In this article, we're going to list the top online pharmacies that provide prescription medications at a fraction of the cost of buying them in bodily stores. Not only will you be saving money, but you will even be guaranteeing that your treatment is safe and of high quality.

Blog Title: 20 Ways You’re Killing Your Dog By Not Cleaning Up After Him

Dogs are fantastic companions and are sometimes considered relations by many individuals. However, if not cared for properly, canine can become pests. One of many ways that you're killing your canine by not cleansing up after him is by leaving food and trash round. This attracts other animals that can convey diseases to your canine. Another method that you're killing your dog by not cleaning up after him is by letting him run around and not using a leash or collar on. This can result in him entering into fights with different canines or changing into misplaced. If you would like to keep your dog wholesome and pest-free, be certain to clean up after him each time he does one thing dangerous. There are many other ways to do that, so find one that works greatest for you and your dog.

Blog Description: Here are some methods you are killing your dog by not cleansing up after him

If you have been residing under a rock for the previous few years, you understand that pet ownership is on the rise. And with good cause-- Pets present companionship and emotional support that may be priceless. But there is a trade-off: Pets require common care, which often contains cleansing up their messes. Certainly one of the easiest methods to keep your home clear and your dog healthy is to make use of an internet pharmacy. These pharmacies provide prescriptions at a fraction of the price of conventional pharmacies, and they don't cost any further fees for delivery or supply. Plus, lots of them offer discounts on medications for veterans and seniors. So whether you have got a canine or are simply enthusiastic about getting one, utilizing an online pharmacy is an effective way to keep your own home clear and your pet wholesome.

Blog Outline:

There are various online pharmacies that supply affordable prescription medications. Some of the highest on-line pharmacies for inexpensive prescriptions include CVS, Walgreens, and Rite Aid. These on-line pharmacies sometimes cost decrease costs than traditional pharmacies. Additionally they offer a wider variety of medications, together with generics and brand-identify medication. Some people could discover it tough to find inexpensive prescriptions at their native pharmacy. Online pharmacies can assist to fill those prescriptions at a fraction of the cost. Plus, they provide 24/7 customer service, which makes it easy to get help should you need it.

What Your Dog Needs from You

There are some things that your dog wants from you with a purpose to be wholesome and blissful. One among crucial things that your dog wants is regular veterinarian visits. This is so that your canine can get the care it wants to remain wholesome and avoid frequent diseases. Your canine also needs access to reasonably priced prescription medications. This implies that you just need to have the ability to afford the associated fee of these medications. However, there are a number of on-line pharmacies that provide prescription medications at a fraction of the price of traditional pharmacies. A few of one of the best on-line pharmacies for reasonably priced prescription medications include CVS, Walgreens, and Rite Aid. All of those pharmacies provide discounts on prescription medications usually. So, in the event you want to purchase a prescription medicine, ensure to check out one of those online pharmacies.

What Your Dog Needs From You And not using a Bathroom or L

One in every of an important issues you are able to do in your dog is to verify they need not go to the bathroom or get a pet. Most canine want physical exercise, a great food regimen, and plenty of love in order to remain healthy. There are several things you can do with out having your dog go exterior that may help them keep healthy and blissful. One of those is to offer them a bathless day. This means that it is best to only give them a bath once they actually need it, like if they've been covered in mud or something else that might make them soiled. Another thing you are able to do is feed them a food plan with none animal merchandise. Which means that it is best to feed your pet food that has no meat, fish, poultry, or dairy merchandise in it. It will assist to keep their bones strong and their stomachs clear.

#ull #Online pharmacy Australia #Online phar

[devryross1]

Title: "Sell Your Home Fast in North Carolina: Tips and Tricks for a Quick Sale"

Are you looking to sell your home in North Carolina quickly? Whether you're relocating, downsizing, or simply eager to move on to your next adventure, selling a house fast can be a priority for many homeowners. Fortunately, with the right strategies and approach, you can expedite the selling process and secure a buyer in no time. In this blog post, we'll explore some effective tips and tricks to help you sell your home fast in North Carolina.

Price it Right: One of the most crucial factors in selling a home quickly is pricing it correctly. Conduct thorough research on the current market trends in your area and enlist the help of a real estate agent to determine the optimal listing price. Setting a competitive price from the start can attract more potential buyers and increase the likelihood of a quick sale.

Enhance Curb Appeal: First impressions matter, and the exterior of your home is the first thing potential buyers will see. Boost your home's curb appeal by mowing the lawn, trimming bushes, planting flowers, and repainting the front door if necessary. A well-maintained exterior can make your home more inviting and appealing to buyers.

Declutter and Depersonalize: When staging your home for potential buyers, aim to create a neutral and welcoming environment. Remove personal items, excess furniture, and clutter to make rooms appear more spacious and allow buyers to envision themselves living in the space. Consider hiring a professional stager to help showcase your home in the best possible light.

Make Necessary Repairs: Address any minor repairs or maintenance issues before listing your home on the market. From leaky faucets to chipped paint, fixing these small details can prevent potential buyers from being deterred and help streamline the selling process. Additionally, consider investing in upgrades that offer a high return on investment, such as kitchen renovations or bathroom updates.

Utilize Professional Photography: In today's digital age, high-quality photographs are essential for attracting buyers online. Hire a professional photographer to capture flattering images of your home, highlighting its best features and amenities. Quality photos can significantly enhance your listing and generate more interest from potential buyers.

Maximize Online Exposure: Leverage the power of the internet to market your home to a wide audience of potential buyers. Utilize social media platforms, real estate websites, and online listing services to showcase your property and reach interested buyers. Consider creating a virtual tour or video walkthrough to provide prospective buyers with a comprehensive view of your home.

Be Flexible with Showings: Make it easy for interested buyers to view your home by being flexible with showing times. Accommodating potential buyers' schedules, including evenings and weekends, can increase the likelihood of receiving offers quickly. Keep your home clean and tidy at all times to ensure it's ready for showings at a moment's notice.

Consider Cash Buyers or Investors: If you're looking to sell your home extremely quickly, consider working with cash buyers or real estate investors. These buyers often purchase homes in as-is condition and can close the deal much faster than traditional buyers. While you may not receive top dollar for your home, selling to a cash buyer can offer a convenient and expedited selling process.

By implementing these tips and tricks, you can increase your chances of selling your home fast in North Carolina. Remember to stay proactive, remain flexible, and enlist the help of real estate professionals when needed. With the right approach, you'll be well on your way to securing a quick and successful sale.

#sell your home #cash for home

[rickysealey]

What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance?

It might be harder than ever before to achieve a successful work-life balance in the modern landscape. With so many things to do in order to keep up with a successful career, and so many things you’d like to do away from work, it’s hard to get it just right. This article will look at some fundamental concepts that can go a long way toward making sure your overall life remains as balanced as you would like it to be.   When you are ready to get started with the best Greensboro house cleaning services available, turn to The Maids right away.   Taking an Honest Assessment The first step toward achieving a healthy work-life balance is to see exactly where you are now and where you would like to be in the future. During the busyness of day-to-day life, it’s easy to lose sight of exactly how you are spending your time.   Consider writing out, in detail, how you spend your time throughout each day for a full week, and then look back on that record to see how it all adds up. What would you like to change about what you see? This assessment process can be a springboard to finally encourage you to make some much-needed changes.   Finding Ways to Save Time There is no way around the hard limit of 24 hours in a day that every person on earth faces. So, without the ability to add hours to the day, your only option for finding a better balance is to save time where possible. One example of this approach is using a house cleaning service like The Maids.   With your house cleaned professionally, any time spent on that chore can now be redirected to other areas of your life, such as spending time with your kids, engaging in a favorite hobby, etc. You might not realize how much time is spent on housecleaning until you take that task off of your to-do list and open up your schedule as a result.   Keeping Work in Its Place The modern culture of work is such that many people are never fully away from the job. Sure, you might not be at work, but you still have your phone nearby if someone wants to reach you, and your email is regularly checked at night and on weekends. Depending on the specific requirements of your job, work on finding a way to cut back on how much work is able to intrude on the hours when you are supposed to be doing other things in life. Minimizing how much work and the rest of your life interact will help you find a better overall balance that is sustainable for the long run.   Have you already wasted too much time searching for a “maids service near me”? Put an end to that hunt right now and reach out to The Maids for home cleaning done right. This is one of the best steps you can take toward achieving a wonderful work-life balance. The post What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance? first appeared on The Maids of the Triad. from https://www.themaidstriad.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-achieve-work-life-balance/ from https://themaids0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://loripatterson0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://davebaker0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://augustabell.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html

[deliathomas]

What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance?

It might be harder than ever before to achieve a successful work-life balance in the modern landscape. With so many things to do in order to keep up with a successful career, and so many things you’d like to do away from work, it’s hard to get it just right. This article will look at some fundamental concepts that can go a long way toward making sure your overall life remains as balanced as you would like it to be.   When you are ready to get started with the best Greensboro house cleaning services available, turn to The Maids right away.   Taking an Honest Assessment The first step toward achieving a healthy work-life balance is to see exactly where you are now and where you would like to be in the future. During the busyness of day-to-day life, it’s easy to lose sight of exactly how you are spending your time.   Consider writing out, in detail, how you spend your time throughout each day for a full week, and then look back on that record to see how it all adds up. What would you like to change about what you see? This assessment process can be a springboard to finally encourage you to make some much-needed changes.   Finding Ways to Save Time There is no way around the hard limit of 24 hours in a day that every person on earth faces. So, without the ability to add hours to the day, your only option for finding a better balance is to save time where possible. One example of this approach is using a house cleaning service like The Maids.   With your house cleaned professionally, any time spent on that chore can now be redirected to other areas of your life, such as spending time with your kids, engaging in a favorite hobby, etc. You might not realize how much time is spent on housecleaning until you take that task off of your to-do list and open up your schedule as a result.   Keeping Work in Its Place The modern culture of work is such that many people are never fully away from the job. Sure, you might not be at work, but you still have your phone nearby if someone wants to reach you, and your email is regularly checked at night and on weekends. Depending on the specific requirements of your job, work on finding a way to cut back on how much work is able to intrude on the hours when you are supposed to be doing other things in life. Minimizing how much work and the rest of your life interact will help you find a better overall balance that is sustainable for the long run.   Have you already wasted too much time searching for a “maids service near me”? Put an end to that hunt right now and reach out to The Maids for home cleaning done right. This is one of the best steps you can take toward achieving a wonderful work-life balance. The post What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance? first appeared on The Maids of the Triad. from https://www.themaidstriad.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-achieve-work-life-balance/ from https://themaids0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://loripatterson0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://davebaker0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html

[juliawarren0]

What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance?

It might be harder than ever before to achieve a successful work-life balance in the modern landscape. With so many things to do in order to keep up with a successful career, and so many things you’d like to do away from work, it’s hard to get it just right. This article will look at some fundamental concepts that can go a long way toward making sure your overall life remains as balanced as you would like it to be.   When you are ready to get started with the best Greensboro house cleaning services available, turn to The Maids right away.   Taking an Honest Assessment The first step toward achieving a healthy work-life balance is to see exactly where you are now and where you would like to be in the future. During the busyness of day-to-day life, it’s easy to lose sight of exactly how you are spending your time.   Consider writing out, in detail, how you spend your time throughout each day for a full week, and then look back on that record to see how it all adds up. What would you like to change about what you see? This assessment process can be a springboard to finally encourage you to make some much-needed changes.   Finding Ways to Save Time There is no way around the hard limit of 24 hours in a day that every person on earth faces. So, without the ability to add hours to the day, your only option for finding a better balance is to save time where possible. One example of this approach is using a house cleaning service like The Maids.   With your house cleaned professionally, any time spent on that chore can now be redirected to other areas of your life, such as spending time with your kids, engaging in a favorite hobby, etc. You might not realize how much time is spent on housecleaning until you take that task off of your to-do list and open up your schedule as a result.   Keeping Work in Its Place The modern culture of work is such that many people are never fully away from the job. Sure, you might not be at work, but you still have your phone nearby if someone wants to reach you, and your email is regularly checked at night and on weekends. Depending on the specific requirements of your job, work on finding a way to cut back on how much work is able to intrude on the hours when you are supposed to be doing other things in life. Minimizing how much work and the rest of your life interact will help you find a better overall balance that is sustainable for the long run.   Have you already wasted too much time searching for a “maids service near me”? Put an end to that hunt right now and reach out to The Maids for home cleaning done right. This is one of the best steps you can take toward achieving a wonderful work-life balance. The post What is the Best Way to Achieve Work-Life Balance? first appeared on The Maids of the Triad. from https://www.themaidstriad.com/what-is-the-best-way-to-achieve-work-life-balance/ from https://themaids0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html from https://loripatterson0.blogspot.com/2024/04/what-is-best-way-to-achieve-work-life.html

[birdcheng85]

How To Clean-Up Your Allergies With 2 Easy Home Tips

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[apex-pest-control]

Keep Roof Pigeons Out of Your House

Why Are Pigeons Nesting on My Roof, and What Can I Do About It?

If you're having trouble with birds, try visualising a flock of crows circling your property, as in Alfred Hitchcock's films. Pigeons, alas, are typically obnoxious birds that cause problems for humans and companies in the real world. Birds are annoying and hard to manage since they never stop singing and pooping.

No longer, though! Read this article to learn how to control and eliminate bird problems. No matter how many birds you have or how small your situation is, our services are always available. To solve this bird problem, you will need to gather your do-it-yourself materials.

The Steps to Take When Dealing with Pigeons

You should be aware of how awful things are before you go to war with these bugs. Do you hear birds chirping on your roof or do you see them constructing nests in adjacent trees? Just how many are these creatures, and what brings them to your doorstep? Observing their behaviour will help your method of bird control operate better.

Formulating a Strategy to Eliminate Pigeons

You should get a few items before beginning the bird control operation. Protect yourself against birds by using spikes that spook them or spikes that prevent birds from sleeping.

However, the instruments' intended purpose is to deter birds from perching on your roof, not harm them. As an additional trick, you can use glossy tape or metal foil pans to reflect the sun's rays, making it harder for the pigeons to see and encouraging them to fly.

Setting Up Deterrents

Get out your pigeon-proofing equipment and create an obstacle for the birds to land on your roof. Post bird spikes or other obstacles, like wire mesh or bird netting, in areas where birds choose to rest. By following these procedures, you can deter pigeons from visiting certain areas. If you're also dealing with issues with smaller birds, you might want to consider using bird gels or light kites that resemble birds of prey to drive away wildlife.

Regular Inspection

The pigeon problem must be considered after the traps have been set up. You must maintain vigilance to ascertain whether your efforts are yielding the desired results.

Observe the roof and trees in the area once weekly to identify any unusual pigeon activity. Is there a fresh nesting season? On top of the home, you can see birds sitting. Do you mean they're relocating or just going somewhere else? Birds will not frequent your roof if you keep an eye out for them.

Potential Risks to Health

An argument in favour of extermination is the potential disease they pose to your property. A number of diseases, including histoplasmosis, cryptococcosis, and psittacosis, can be transmitted through pigeon droppings. You need to learn the proper approach to cleaning up after pigeons if you want the problem to go away.

The Essentials of Legal Knowledge

Currently, let's discuss what's acceptable. If you want to keep birds at bay, you need to first find out what the regulations are in your area regarding wildlife protection. When it comes to removing pigeons, certain areas have very specific regulations. A pass could be necessary for certain methods of egress. Prevent inadvertent violations of laws when attempting to deter birds.

Consult Experts for Assistance

Despite your best efforts, defeating pigeons isn't always a cakewalk. A professional pest control service may be necessary if this describes your situation. An expert can assist you with pigeon issues. Consider using pigeons as a method of birth control or employing the services of a skilled falconer. These alternatives may be more expensive, but they will permanently eliminate pigeon issues. If you want to know more about bird extermination, see our post.

Extra Obstacles

Pigeon repellents come in a variety of forms, and roof spikes are just one of them. Among them are the ones listed below:

Sound Devices: Devices that emit predatory bird calls can be an effective method to scare pigeons.

Reflective Objects: Foil balloons or windchimes can reflect light and create a movement that pigeons find unsettling.

Bird Feeders: Pigeon-proof bird feeders will stop pigeons from monopolising the food and allow smaller birds to feed.

Secure Food Sources: Secure your trash cans, pet food, and recycling bins. Any nearby food can attract these pest birds.

Pigeons and Wild Animals

You should be cautious of other animals as you deal with the pigeon issue. When you attempt to exterminate pigeons, be careful not to harm other animals, birds, or beneficial insects. Keep in mind that the effectiveness of your solar panels could be compromised if you employ certain techniques of bird control.

The Best Way to Get Rid of Pigeons from Your Roof: Soar to New Heights Without the Pests!

When pigeons become an annoyance, there are many risk-free methods to eliminate them. One option is to use a pest control agency, while another is to use bird spikes and other bright objects to eliminate pigeons on your own. Find out what the local regulations are for wildlife and consider the potential health dangers before deciding how to banish the birds.

With a little patience and precaution, you can climb back up on top of your house and get rid of those pesky birds.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I feed pigeons to discourage them from my roof?

Ironically, feeding pigeons will likely make your problem worse. They’ll associate your property with food and invite more of their friends over.

Are pigeon droppings dangerous?

Yes, pigeon faeces can carry diseases that are transmittable to humans, including Histoplasmosis and Psittacosis.

Is there a humane way to get rid of pigeons?

Absolutely! Bird spikes, bird netting, and most other deterrents mentioned in this article are humane methods to eliminate pigeons. They simply discourage birds from roosting in these areas without causing harm.

Can I use bird spikes on window sills and roof tiles ?

Yes, bird spikes can be installed on window sills, roof tiles, and even under solar panels to prevent birds from perching.

Can I hire pigeon control specialists for an outdoor space dealing with a pigeon infestation?

Yes, some bird control specialists deal specifically with problems like pigeon infestations in outdoor spaces. These experts use various techniques, including integrated pest management (IPM), to ensure an effective solution.

What can be done to prevent pigeons from nesting on my green roof?

A green roof can be an inviting spot for pigeons to nest. To discourage them, consider installing reflective surfaces or bird spikes, which can disrupt their ability to roost comfortably. Regularly maintaining your green roof to remove potential food sources can also help.

How can reflected light deter pigeons?

Reflected light can confuse a pigeon’s eyesight, causing discomfort and discouragement from returning. Reflective surfaces or objects that move with the wind, like foil balloons, can be highly effective scare tactics.

What types of damage to buildings can pigeons cause?

Pigeons can cause significant damage to buildings. Their droppings are corrosive and can damage building materials. They can also block drains with their nests, potentially damaging water.

What’s the best way to remove pigeon nests from my property?

Removing pigeon nests can be tricky and might require professional help. It’s important to ensure there are no eggs or young birds in the nest before removal. Always wear protective clothing to avoid contact with bird mites or droppings.

Why do pigeons congregate on my property?

Pigeons often congregate where they have easy access to food and shelter. If your property provides these necessities, you might deal with a pigeon problem. To discourage them, remove food sources, and prevent them from nesting.

How effective are gel repellants in pigeon control?

Gel repellants can be highly effective in discouraging pigeons. They create an uncomfortable sticky surface that pigeons dislike. However, they may need reapplication over time and might not be a long-term solution.

Can dealing with a pigeon infestation become extremely dangerous?

While “extremely dangerous” might be an overstatement, pigeon infestations can pose significant health risks due to the diseases carried in their droppings. If the infestation is large, calling in pigeon control services is best.

How can I stop pigeons from nesting without causing harm to small birds?

An effective method to stop pigeons from nesting while keeping small birds safe is to use exclusion techniques. You could install bird netting or use bird spikes, which tend to deter larger birds like pigeons but do not affect smaller species.

What should I do if scare tactics only provide a short-term solution to my pigeon problem?

If scare tactics like reflected light or sound devices only provide temporary relief, you might need to consider more long-term solutions. This might include population control strategies such as birth control feed or structural modifications like netting or spikes to prevent pigeons from nesting.

[sunshinehomess]

How Do You Find Ideal Holiday Homes To Rent In Benalmadena?

Staying in a city like Benalmadena has its own set of challenges. Selecting the best in a new surroundings & adequate holiday homes to rent add extra stress levels. Are you looking for Benalmadena holiday homes to rent? There are certain aspects you should consider. So read the post below and find the ideal choice for your holiday homes & accommodation needs. 

From “there’s no place like home” to “Home is where the heart is” we have all known the platitudes about the importance of having holiday homes for rent in Benalmadena. More than a place where a person lives, holiday homes for rent are a well-defining part of a person’s identity. 

However, finding a perfect rental holiday home in Benalmadena away from home is not easy! It is probably annoying especially if this is your first trip to Benalmadena. There’s a huge availability of holiday homes to rent in Benalmadena. Most of them fit best the client’s requirements and preferences. Which part of the city you should live in? Are they furnished or unfurnished accommodation? What amenities are necessary? How much should be your budget? There are so many aspects you need to consider beforehand. To help you out, here is a list of important considerations to make the right decision for a comfortable stay during the holidays in Benalmadena.

How Do You Choose the Best holiday homes for rent -

A favorable location ensures a seamless movement from place to place. You must commute easily via public transportation or drive your vehicle. Therefore, it’s recommended to select a place that not only offers easy access to your work, but recreation, entertainment, and shopping facilities as well. 

Housekeeping, laundry, Wi-Fi connection, and parking facilities are the must. You need it while staying at a holiday home in Benalmadena. Hence, you need to prepare a list of amenities and services that are important to you. Check out whether they are included in your holiday home rental package. 

Being able to maintain a healthy lifestyle and well-being is important, especially if you are going to be away from home for a while. Do you have some restrictions regarding diet? Do you like to prepare your meals? You need to make sure that your holiday housing accommodation includes a fully equipped kitchen space. However, fully-furnished holiday homes provide you with all the conveniences of home. It makes your staying more comfortable. 

When it comes to choosing holiday home rentals, you should never compromise on the quality of your accommodation. The last thing you must think is the ambiance because living in a dirty environment make you ill. So, you need to make sure that the holiday home rentals are clean and well-maintained. 

You must have a realistic budget! However, price should not be your sole criterion for your selection. For example, a conveniently located holiday housing might cost you a little more. But it will save you valuable time, effort, and level of stress. Many travelers find their short-term holiday accommodation are more cost-effective as compared to hotel staying. 

Getting acquainted with the area and the community creates a sense of familiarity. It is necessary when it comes to booking Benalmadena holiday homes on rent. Becoming acquainted with popular local spots can provide valuable insights into the ideal residential areas for your needs!

Conclusion -

Benalmadena holiday homes to rent are best accommodation option for both long-term and short-term staying. No matter what, you will love the comfort and convenience of staying at holiday homes to rent in Benalmadena. So, it’s highly suggested to know your needs and make a perfect decision for your short-term or extended holiday homes in Benalmadena.

Take the help of specialized companies such as Sunshine Homes who are committed to offering the most memorable staying experiences and highest quality services. Have trust in Sunshine Homes as they can provide a huge variety of Benalmadena holiday home options to choose from. Visit https://www.sunshinehomes.es/ to know more about their offering and price!

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#holiday home rentals #property management services

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9 Ways To Guarantee Your Air Conditioner Is Ready For Summer

As the warmer months approach, it's essential to ensure your home's cooling system is in prime condition to provide a comfortable and efficient environment. Preparing your air conditioning installation Sydney for the summer season not only enhances its performance but also extends its lifespan, ensuring your home remains a haven of cool and refreshing air during the scorching heat. 

The importance of a well-maintained cooling system in your home cannot be overstated. As the temperatures rise, the last thing you want is a malfunctioning unit, leaving you and your family to bear the brunt of the heat. Regular maintenance not only ensures optimal performance but also contributes to energy efficiency, reducing your monthly utility bills. Additionally, a well-serviced unit is less likely to require costly repairs, saving you money in the long run.

Moreover, preparing your cooling system for summer is not just about comfort; it's also about health. A well-functioning unit filters out pollutants and allergens, providing you with cleaner, healthier air to breathe. This is particularly crucial for individuals with respiratory issues or allergies.

The following guide will explore some crucial steps to make sure your air conditioner is prepared for the upcoming summer season.

Clean or Replace Filters Regularly

The filter is a critical component that traps dirt, dust, and other airborne particles. A clogged filter impedes airflow and reduces efficiency, leading to higher energy costs and reduced air quality. It's advisable to clean or replace filters every 30-60 days, especially during high-use periods.

Check and Seal Ductwork

Leaks or gaps in the ductwork can significantly decrease the efficiency of your system. Inspect the ducts for any signs of leaks and use a sealant to fix any gaps. This not only improves efficiency but also prevents dust and debris from entering the system.

Ensure Adequate Insulation

Proper insulation in your home helps maintain the desired temperature, reducing the workload on your cooling system. Check the insulation in your attic, walls, and floors, especially if your home is older.

Inspect and Clean Coils

The evaporator and condenser coils are vital for heat exchange. Over time, they can accumulate dirt, affecting their efficiency. Regular cleaning of these coils ensures better performance and prolongs the life of your unit.

Calibrate the Thermostat

A properly calibrated thermostat ensures that your system maintains the desired temperature efficiently. Consider upgrading to a programmable thermostat, which allows you to set different temperatures for different times of the day.

Check Refrigerant Levels

The refrigerant is essential for cooling the air. If the level is too low, it can lead to decreased efficiency and potentially damage the compressor. Have a professional check the refrigerant levels and refill if necessary.

Inspect the Condensate Drain

The condensate drain allows the moisture removed from the air to be expelled from the unit. Over time, it can become clogged, leading to water damage and increased humidity levels. Regularly check and clear the drain of any obstructions.

Test the System Early

Don't wait for the first hot day to turn on your system. Test it in advance to ensure it's working correctly. This gives you ample time to address any issues before you really need them.

Schedule Professional Maintenance

While many tasks can be done DIY, some require the expertise of a professional. Regular maintenance by a qualified technician can identify and fix issues before they become major problems.

Preparing your home's cooling system for the summer is a crucial task that should not be overlooked. By following the steps listed above, you ensure not only a comfortable and cool home but also a healthy environment for you and your family. Regular maintenance not only enhances performance but also contributes to the longevity of your system, saving you money in the long run.

Finally, remember that a well-maintained cooling system is key to enjoying a relaxed and worry-free summer. Taking the time now to ensure everything is in order will pay off in the months to come, allowing you to enjoy the warmer weather in comfort and peace. So, take these steps today and guarantee yourself a cool and pleasant summer.

#air conditioning installation Sydney