#the anger and disappointment when he realizes that doumeki is actually attracted to him

[benveydraws]

i can't love you in this skin

#twittering birds never fly #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #suggestive #<- jic #interpret this as you will #there's A Lot about gender and yashiro's relationship with gender and heteronormativity especially in relation to doumeki #he asks him what type of Women he likes. they only watch m/f stuff together. “i wonder if he's gentle with women”. #the anger and disappointment when he realizes that doumeki is actually attracted to him #unless he's remembering something that happened he only fantasises about doumeki with a woman and not with himself #(same was with kageyama iirc) #except for that kiss in the elevator but that's a whole other conversation. and even then there was a woman present #he even tells kamiya that doumeki is basically straight and he's just a rare exception #yashiro's is so so desperate to push doumeki towards a “normal” life #aka not in yakuza. not with him. in a normal (straight) relationship #just. a lot of self hatred and internalized homophobia #all that being said. i think regardless of the author's intent reading yashiro as a closeted trans person is also valid #the “i could never afford myself to reflect on this and i also don't care enough about living to even bother atp” type of closet #would it contradict some of the things yashiro says? sure. but he contradicts himself all the time #am i projecting as someone who will live and die in the closet? sure #i think it's interesting that the only person who genuinely asks him about gender is ryuzaki #in the same conversation where he asks him about falling in love #and yashiro's response is basically “it wouldn't change much” and “i'm fine with what i have”. are you tho #there's a lot i can say about yashiro and aoi and yashiro and ryuzaki's girlfriend but i can't articulate it well rn so whatever #the way dumeki's lie about dating a woman affects yashiro is also interesting regardless of which interpretation you go with #which is also why i'm using post time-skip for the art. the topic keeps popping up #but yeah uh. take it as you will i just have a lot of feelings about. This #art tag