#the first time I ever did karaoke they had weird al on the list and I was SO HYPED and I did Like A Surgeon and crushed it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pansexual-potatoes · 3 years

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Who is your hero?: I don’t have one.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?: I’d become a woods witch, of sorts. I picture it as a cabin so deep in the woods you only find it if you’re lost. Me, my dog and Frank (if we’re theoretically still married) in a very cute cabin with a little mailbox that’s never used and a short walkway to nowhere in particular. I’d have foxglove and lupine up front, hosta and ferns in the shaded areas and a wooden fence around my garden. No driveway but I’d have a shed with a snowmobile, snowblower, and shovel for the winter and a four wheeler, and a tiny car for the summer. I’d have a fire pit for campfires, a hot tub and a pool. Attached to the back of the house would be a greenhouse with a dining area for warm weather. Despite my rural living, I’d get great cell service and excellent internet.

What is your biggest fear?: Losing the people I care about.

What is your favorite family vacation?: My family growing up didn’t do vacations but my husband and I do. I also do fun stuff with my best friend.

What would you change about yourself if you could?: My looks

What really makes you angry?: Disrespect

What motivates you to work hard?: I have bills to pay, and we need to eat.

What is your favorite thing about your career?: I enjoy the plants. I work in a commercial greenhouse and for most of the year the plants are really nice.

What is your biggest complaint about your job?: the pay and lack of needed benefits are big problems.

What is your proudest accomplishment? I’m still here.

What is your child's proudest accomplishment?: Bailey learned to lay down. So far he’s learned Sit, Shake and lay down. I think next we’ll teach him to stay.

What is your favorite book to read?: cookbooks, lol. I actually love reading but my eyes can’t do it much anymore.

What makes you laugh the most?: memes

What was the last movie you went to? What did you think? I don’t like movie theaters. I think the last movie I saw in one was the newest grinch movie and I thought it was a cute movie. I liked how they humanized him and brought his situation into scale.

What did you want to be when you were small? An oceanographer, then a marine biologist

What does your child want to be when he/she grows up? Bailey, I’m assuming, wants to be a smart, happy and curious doggo.

If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? Mentally healthy

What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play? I don’t watch sports.

Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car? Depends on what I’m doing. If I’m in hell being punished, then you’ll see me on a bike. Horses are nice for leisure. Car if I have errands to run or am busy.

What would you sing at Karaoke night?:

I’m not singing

What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most?

I don’t listen to the radio. I have Amazon music

Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?

Any of those except the dishes.

If you could hire someone to help you, would it be with cleaning, cooking, or yard work?

Yard work. I don’t trust people that much except a very few people so cleaning is out of the question. I love cooking so wouldn’t need help there usually either. Yard work is impersonal enough where I’d feel more comfortable with someone doing that.

If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Salad. Anything can be a salad if you try hard and believe in yourself

Who is your favorite author?

Anne Rice

Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?:

Not any that weren’t degrading

Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?

Generally not a fan. I have anxiety and I don’t like being the center of attention.

In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?

Any except visiting relatives.

Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?

Hawaii. The warmth and hiking would be incredible, the beaches pretty and the cold makes my body hurt.

Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?

Hm. Win the lottery. It would allow me to help not just myself but others too.

Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?

No one. If I’m stranded, I’m not going to make it. I don’t want someone else to go through that. I’ll just suffer alone, thanks.

If money was no object, what would you do all day?

Help people who are struggling.

If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?

2014.

How would your friends describe you?

According to them, I’m nice but straightforward.

What are your hobbies?

I like cooking, hiking, makeup, and relaxing

What is the best gift you have been given?

Companionship in all it’s forms.

What is the worst gift you have received?

Domino’s and a pack of socks to share with my brother (we had to share both). This was from my moms second husbands mom and we had to sit and watch our then step sister open a pile of gifts. We were kids, and my mom and her second husband had been married for a few years at that point so there was zero reason for us to be treated like that.

Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?

Hope

List two pet peeves.

-Disrespect

-Laziness

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Hopefully further along with my mental health

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3- 1 for home, 2 for work

If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?

I’d want to be able to financially help people

What would you do if you won the lottery?

First, before I tell ANYONE, my house is getting paid off. Ditto for all our bills. Once all that’s done, then I’ll let Frank know. From there on we decide what we want to do together

What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)

Train isn’t bad, neither is bus.

What's your favorite zoo animal?

Hippos.🥰

If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?

If Frank and I could go back with the knowledge we have now we wouldn’t get licensed for foster care.

If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?

My husband, my best friend, Nina, and Gerard Way

How many pillows do you sleep with?

2 when I’m awake, 1 once I fall asleep

What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)? Like 3 days. I was having a mental breakdown and ended up in the hospital.

What's the tallest building you've been to the top in?

No idea.

Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?

Depends on the ratio between what you lose versus what you gain.

How often do you buy clothes?

As needed.

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Of course not

What's your favorite holiday?

Definitely Christmas

What's the most daring thing you've ever done?

I fought continuously for ownership of myself in a house where I was viewed as less important than furniture because I was female. I dressed as a boy, quit bathing and became as repulsive as I could so I wouldn’t be attractive to the men or women in my moms lifestyle.

What was the last thing you recorded on TV?

I don’t

What was the last book you read?

Working on a new one.

What's your favorite type of foreign food?

Love Asian foods I’ve tried

Are you a clean or messy person?

Messy, I guess.

Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life?

No one. I wouldn’t want people to see what I went through.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

About a half hour

What kitchen appliance do you use every day?

The Keurig

What's your favorite fast food chain?

I don’t like most of them, tbh. Maybe Subway?

What's your favorite family recipe?

My moms bread recipe

Do you love or hate rollercoasters?

As long as they’re not super tall I don’t mind them

What's your favorite family tradition?

The Christmas Poinsettia

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Probably meeting my best friend.

What's your favorite movie?

The nightmare before Christmas

How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out?

I don’t remember.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

I’m just glad it has something to drink

What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

I got married.

What three items would you take with you on a deserted island?

Food, water, and a boat to get me home.

What was your favorite subject in school?

Band.

What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?

Pets

Do you collect anything?

Dishes.

Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?

Comfortable clothes. I’m going to wear them regardless but it would be nice to have a bigger selection to choose from

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Absolutely an introvert.

Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest?

Touch

Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)

No and I’m fine with that.

Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous?

Not that I’m aware of.

What do you do to keep fit?

Lol.

Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?

Nope.

If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?

Baseline living guarantees

Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?

I didn’t really have a teacher I was close to.

What three things do you think of the most each day?

My family, my job, and my obligations

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Avoid asking questions you don’t want an honest answer for. All attempts at niceness will be tried but there is no guarantee of satisfaction.

What song would you say best sums you up?

I have no idea. There are many who describe parts of me but not one I can think of that describes me as a whole.

What celebrity would you like to meet at Starbucks for a cup of coffee?

Weird Al. He seems like a pretty chill guy who wouldn’t mind chatting with an average person.

What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window?

My lilacs.

On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are?

Like a 2

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Hopefully much further along with my mental health

What was your first job?

Picking pine cones out of this ladies yard.

If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join?

None.

How many languages do you speak?

English and a lot of American Sign Language

Who is the most intelligent person you know?

My husband

If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?

Probably a bear. I’m not super social, enjoy sleeping through the winter as much as possible, am selective in my social obligations,enjoy fish and berries, avoid people if possible

What is one thing you will never do again?

Drive a semi.

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luvbotclub · 7 years

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— bubblegum pink. + finn bálor [1]

→ request: ― just a small thing I did!!

→ word count: 4,544

→ content warnings: FLUFFY!FINN. alcohol mention (and use). some swearing. shitty ending. I guess that’s it.

→ note: this is finally done. my suffering is goddamn over. but I’m really somehow proud of this so I hope you all like it! shoutout to some of my friends on Quotev who have seen my work and have complimented it. I’m trying to tackle on more of the wrestler’s head in here instead of the usual where I focus on the reader’s mind, so this may look 100% shitty but i tried ok :’) enough babbling, i really hope you enjoy this!!

→ tag list: @rxvolutionvries, @danbanks35, @trulydarcy

masterlist | post your feedback here

She walked into the sweaty place with the air bouncing off of her, like a halo was on the top of her messy head and every step she took with her stilettos were worth dying for. He’s the only sober one out of his group, as much as it sounded embarrassing to admit. He never really was the kind who got too wild in parties anyway.

The night after a Takeover is where all the stress and the adrenaline and the tension go with the wind. Where all victories were celebrated on the dancefloor and all the losses were coped in by downing tequila shots and being encouraged by strangers to order the strangest and most expensive drink there is in the bar. Honestly, Finn is still unaware why he’s here in the first place even though being only three hours in into the sweaty ‘fun’. In all honesty he could have been reading a good book right now or just enjoying the small quiet his hotel room reserved or listening to the soft buzzing of the busy street below.

After-night parties were never his thing. He didn’t like how sweaty people would sit next to him and how disgustingly hot their breaths were— it’s understandable that they were being wild and incredulously lewd, but, maybe they can stay away from him and find another shoulder to cry on about how their ex dumped them in front of hundreds of people in the community mall? He just didn’t like being in bars. He’d rather be anywhere but here, really.

Charlotte just had to pick a karaoke bar. Of all bars in this damned place. Now Sami is drunkenly singing “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion with an also drunk Shinsuke providing backup vocals, or so he said. They really weren’t singing, they were just slurring over their words in a horrible attempt to sing. They were hitting the high notes with a couple of voice cracks here and there and Finn swore he went deaf for a second. He was simply staring out of the window of their booth, completely bored and sober and looking at random people with his chin set on the leather cushion when she walked over to the counter and reserved a booth for her and her friends, who were already in the mood to hit the high notes and cause people their eardrums, by the looks in their eyes as they stared at the booths.

A happy glint in her eyes. Air bouncing off of her. A halo on top of her messy head. Each step worth dying for. Bubblegum pink dress gleaming under the soft boom of music and the buzz of lights. Bubblegum pink.

He felt the cushion weigh next to him and saw Charlotte’s blonde head look out the window, too, a goofy grin on her face. “Who are you looking at, my chum pal friend?” she whispered excitedly, as though they were children talking about their crushes in front of their parents. Finn chuckled at her. Obviously she’s drunk— who’d use ‘chum’, ‘pal’, and ‘friend’ all in one sentence? Drunk Charlotte, apparently. “Does my little Finnegan have a crush on a particular someone?”

“She’s not my crush, Char,” Finn rolled his eyes at her, moving his gaze away from the bubblegum pink girl. “Just… she’s kinda cute?”

“Kinda?” Charlotte blurted, as though he said something punishable by death. “Are you fucking blind? Look at her. Don’t give me the ‘she’s kinda cute’ treatment.” She shook her glass and took a sip. “Many men have said that. Many of them are actually in love with the girl. Is ‘she kinda cute’? I don’t think so. If that’s called being kinda cute then the whole damn women’s division here is kinda cute.” She grinned at him again and gave him a subtle wink that made him smile slightly. “Talk to her. Buy her a drink. Maybe make some new acquaintances tonight? You’re gonna be friendless really soon.”

She stood up and walked over to the ‘fun’ and left him with her ringing words. Drunk Charlotte. Why in the fuck would he listen to a drunk Charlotte? Last time he listened to a drunk Charlotte, he almost got his tongue stuck in a shot glass because she said ‘you could get the lime at the bottom’. He was young and naïve and new to the aspects of NXT and victory parties. He learned his lesson then— don’t listen to drunk people. They’re drunk. (Well… duh. Obviously.) They’re practically saying nonsense. Slurred words are not to be taken seriously.

Maybe Charlotte isn’t saying nonsense this time. Maybe he should really talk to her.

Tongue almost got stuck in a shot glass, Bálor. Keep your head in.

He needed new friends.

Fine. Drunk Charlotte won. He’ll be giving her five dollars tomorrow if this night ended well.

Finn finally stood up. It was the only time he stood up this night, unless you counted going to the bathroom to wash his hands every damn thirty minutes and escape the murder of his eardrums. He walked slowly out of the booth, his damned co-workers cheering for him as he made his grand exit— Charlotte might’ve filled them up with the situation already. But it didn’t really matter. How much will they remember in the morning anyway, when their heads are pounding and memories are fuzzy?

He made his way towards her after she talked with the receptionist. Her friends gave him these strange looks like Finn did something wrong— well, not technically. He’s been given these looks like he’s about to do the worst, punishable-by-death kind of thing in his life. He cleared his throat, meaning to actually clear his throat, not to snap the girl’s attention to him. His friends rolled their eyes.

Good job on a first impression, Finn.

He read somewhere while scrolling in Facebook that good first impressions can lead to a good relationship— so in this case, if he and this bubblegum pink girl hit it off and had a friendship, it wouldn’t be so good. He’s not sure, for all he knew the article could have been just another bullshit story in the internet.

Not really sure.

Fuck it anyway.

“Oh, hey,” the girl said, grinning kindly at him.

Angelic voice. Dashing grin. Kind personality. Marry me.

“Hi,” Finn said stupidly, and he mentally slapped himself. He stuck his hand out and she shook it. “I’m Finn. And you are…?”

“(Y/N).”

“What a beautiful name for a beautiful lady,” he said, and internally groaned for his cheesiness. He’s notoriously known for being the cheesy pick-up liner. His co-workers wouldn’t let him live this down if they ever knew. “I saw you from my booth. You look really lovely.”

“Oh, thank you very much!” (Y/N) answered, smiling from ear to ear at the compliment. “You look very lovely yourself, Finn.” Noticing that she still had friends who were waiting for the booth number, she looked over her shoulder and coughed nervously, “Booth 109. Right around the corner. Can you guys wait for me there?”

With sighs of relief and a few nods, they walked away. One of them, who had a small voice, shouted over her shoulder, “Get laid, (Y/N)!” before turning the corner and disappearing.

“They hate me,” said (Y/N) deprecatingly, later grinning up at him.

“I’m sure they don’t,” Finn assured, giving her a small smile, “you look like someone who’s hard to hate.”

“I’m pretty sure they do, after how many times I said I didn’t wanna go here in the first place,” smiled (Y/N), leaning against the wall. “I mean, it’s just… really noisy and sweaty here? I get the point that you really should be loud here but… I really didn’t want to go.”

Laughing, Finn said, “Same situation with my friends. Is there a celebratory party going on?”

“Yup. Promotion, kinda. One of them has a stable job or some shit. You?”

“Victory and loser party. I hate it there.”

(Y/N) giggled. Snorting, she said, “Victory and loser party? That’s new. I want to try and throw a party like that one of these days.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, scratching the back of his head as he chuckled softly, “my friends and I are wrestlers, you see. The winners from the pay-per-view earlier are gonna be the ones who treat the losers with drinks. Losers pay for the karaoke— but they’re the ones who use it anyway.”

“And how about you? Are you a loser or a winner?”

“Winner,” he grinned.

“Ah, parties…” (Y/N) sighed, resting her head against the cold cement. “I dressed up like this when I really thought about ditching on them.”

They looked at each other with serious expressions on their faces before finally falling into a fit of laughter. Spluttering yet another laugh, Finn said, “Well, I was about to ask you out for a drink but seeing as we both hate it here…”

“Let’s ditch on our friends. I don’t give a fuck about Henry’s emotional speech about his promotion anyway,” she shrugged, walking towards the exit, “and you don’t give a fuck about your victory and loser party.”

And so, they ditched on their friends with suppressed giggles. They ran around Brooklyn in a haste— it was late at night, no one would be really bothered by them, and no one would bother them. It’s just him, her, and the moon that night. Nothing else. It’s just their pounding hearts inside their chests and their pride worn across their chests. Nothing else. Just two sober strangers making jokes and being close to each other. Nothing else. It’s just a black buttoned-up man and a bubblegum pink woman.

Nothing else.

Their close ‘relationship’, it wasn’t anything strange. Or weird. Or misplaced. In a world like this, like theirs— this kind of love is a normal, acceptable, placed thing. Not anything to be judged at. Nor to be looked down upon.

They settled down in a bench near an almost empty McDonald’s. It was late. So late. But the moon still shone as bright as the sun did, their skin gleaming with her peppered kisses of moonlight. But the cars still buzzed as strong as lightning. But their hearts were still pounding loudly in their ribcages.

Her hair’s in a ponytail now, with tiny wisps escaping out of the elastic band. Her dress is still satin and lace and bubblegum pink and shone under the moonlight. She was holding the bottle of vodka in her hand, laughing slightly as she took it out of the paper bag. “Have you ever drank alcohol while being with a stranger before?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I haven’t, but I’d like to try, m'lady,” Finn said sarcastically, wiggling his eyebrows at her suggestively. She rolled her eyes, hit him on the arm, cranked open the bottle, and took a deep drink before handing the alcohol to him. “Have you?” he asked, after taking a drink and they stayed in silence, just watching teenagers stumble their way through their drunkenness and to their homes with bleeding knuckles.

“Hm?”

“Have you ever been drunk with a stranger before?”

“No. But I’m about to.”

“Yeah,” murmured Finn, taking another drink before passing her the bottle and she did the same. “Brooklyn is really pretty at nighttime.” He softly groaned as he sat back and watched the soft city. She looked back at him, eyebrows furrowed in a joking matter as she smiled at him suggestively.

Laughing softly, she said, “Yup” and took another drink before passing the bottle back to him— it’s kind of a cycle. Take two drinks and then give the bottle to the person next to you. “See those skyscrapers over there?” she pointed somewhere far. Behind all the trees and the bars and the empty McDonald’s. Behind all of those, there were mighty skyscrapers standing tall and chivalrous. Built by a person’s hand. How odd. “I want to be like them.”

“You wanna be tall and might?” Finn said jokingly, smiling when she giggled.

“Yup, I want to be tall and might like the skyscrapers, Bálor,” answered (Y/N) sarcastically, looking behind her shoulder and giving him a sharp wink. Luckily the ‘Open 24/7’ neon sign that McDonald’s had was slowly faltering, if it hadn’t been for that she could have seen Finn’s heated cheeks.

“But, no, really.” She sounded more serious now. More formal. “I wanna be like them because I want to look untouchable. Invincible. People can never say bad things to skyscrapers. I want to be like them because I’m exhausted of my unstable life. Fired here, fired there— I’m trying as hard as I can to have a job. Really. It might not look like it but I really am trying. Then I have to see my friends be successful while I’m here trying to be happy for them. I can’t stand to see another promotion party. I can’t stand being completely vulnerable to people’s talk at me.”

Drunk. Slurred words. Droopy eyes. Weird hand gestures.

“I’m not drunk, by the way,” (Y/N) said all of a sudden. She took the bottle in his hands and took another drink. “I’m just… babbling. Haven’t been really able to speak my mind for a couple of days. But it’s kinda strange, isn’t it? I’m jealous of skyscrapers and that probably doesn’t even make any sense right now.”

Finn scoffed playfully. “Oh, so of all things you said to me, you think the strange thing is you’re jealous of skyscrapers but not the fact that you’re practically ranting to a person you barely know?”

“I know you. I know you’re a nerd for almost everything. I know you like convenience store-brand vodka.” She shrugged at that, a goofy grin settling on her face as he stopped staring at the bottle in her hands and started looking at her in disbelief. “But anyways, you’re drunk, right?”

They looked at each other for a moment before grinning. “We’re sober adults, you and me both, (Y/N).”

“You’re right, you’re right,” she said, throwing her hands in the air as a I-give-up kind of gesture. “Wanna wander aimlessly for a little while? Our friends will start to worry in like, a few hours, anyway.”

“More like your friends,” Finn grinned. “Mine are drunk and most probably still singing their fucking hearts out.”

(Y/N) put a hand over her chest, as though she was offended over something he had said. “I did not take you for someone who use swear words. I thought you were a good, innocent boy.”

“I’m not that innocent.”

“Oh, baby, I know,” she gave him a playful wink and they both snickered. Both of them had heated cheeks, Finn’s from her wink and her suggestive remark and (Y/N)’s from the vodka.

“I’ll get you for that.”

“Oh, sure. Race me to the heart of that park over there.” Her pointer finger was aimed at a park a good block away from them. “If you win, I’ll give you my number. If I win, you’ll treat me to McDonald’s. I guess, if we both win you’ll have my number, and I’ll have my McDonald’s.”

And at that, she stood up and began to run down the street. She threw her arms in the air again and screamed out a loud “Fuck!” and continued to run before Finn realized what was happening and decided to get up and follow her— without a care for incoming cars. They were getting tipsy, and now, at this time, cars only dragged along the road every few hours. And now, at this point, they didn’t really care.

What was happening: he’s racing a girl he barely knows. He’s going to treat her to McDonald’s if he lost.

His reward: her number.

The air felt strangely warm. Warm as in the country summers and the apple-picking weeks. Warm as in the sunny days in the beach. It felt foggy. Thick. Every step he took, it felt like parting the atmosphere between them and the bubblegum pink. Every step he took, he felt younger and younger.

He had never been with someone who made him feel young and whole again— who didn’t make him feel like he was obligated to act mature in a completely non-rational situation. She made him feel the opposite. She made him feel like he was meant to do something more in life than travel around the world and do a couple of dropkicks here and there and wrestle his heart out, like he was meant to have space for his heart other than wrestling.

Each step she took, the air radiates off of her. The halo on top of her messy head is glowing as bright as it did hours earlier, when she was sober and acting self-deprecatingly. The ecstasy in her eyes— it never went away permanently. It did, for a moment— when she was talking about skyscrapers. But it never did die. It just… disappeared but stayed there, waiting for a moment to shine in the darkness.

When they both saw multiple gleaming streetlights planted on the dirt, they knew they were nearing their destination. The air is still foggy, thick, parting, warm like the apple-picking weeks. Their steps are in a haste, desperate to get their rewards. (Not him—not that much anyway.) Their hearts are pounding against their chests as loud as a beating drum in noisy parades. Their minds are fogged with nothing but white noise and alcohol filling empty cracks that never needed to be filled.

Finally they entered the mighty gate. The park is still open, even at this time of night. The gravel crunched underneath their feet as they increased speed. Their hands were balled into fists so tight to the point that their knuckles turned white.

“I’m going to get my French fries, motherfucker.”

Her laughter filled the void that even the quiet of his hotel rooms couldn’t. Her smile brought the light he thought he never needed. She— she made him feel something he never thought he would feel. Something he thought he never needed.

“I’m going to get your fucking number.”

It really can’t be.

“We’ll see about that!”

He can ignore it. He’s tipsy. She’s tipsy.

“You can’t fucking beat me!”

The world is practically amazing right now. It’s not true.

Heels scratching on dirt. An arm hitting a pebble. They laid on the ground, both silent except from their soft gasps of breath. Finn smiled.

He. Is. Drunk. He shouldn’t be feeling this way.

The sky, a light swirl of lilacs and blues and pinks now instead of deep blue with stars like diamonds, was spinning. Their heads were pounding and she was still holding the bottle in her hand.

But if she says another word. If she smiles another smile. If he feels young again.

“Fuck.” He was breathing heavily.

Then he’ll admit it. He’ll let himself feel it.

“I never felt that kind of adrenaline since I was a kid.” And with that, (Y/N) sat up. She was smiling at him. And her face is a masterpiece. A painting of some kind. Her emotions were the watercolor that would spread. And as she drunk the vodka again, the beverage stood as her eraser. It removed all her emotions. It removed all the paint on her face. Washed her with a warm cloth. It removed all flaws until her face is bare. Until her face is like a boring, old canvas, waiting to taste some kind of pain, some kind of unbearable serenity, some kind of recklessness.

He swooned. He felt young. He felt like the world, somehow… it mattered. It didn’t spin, it didn’t feel like it made no sense anymore. The way she smiles, the way she talks and the way she was afraid to show her emotion. It made him feel like the world isn’t doing cartwheels anymore, it made him feel like the world finally made sense. He felt a tremble in his chest, a pounding against his ribcage, a small switch flick in his brain. He felt all levels of weirdness. He can’t feel his legs.

Fuck it then. He’s in love.

Not with the city. Not with the sky. Not with the soft grass pressed against his back. Not with the convenience store-brand vodka. But with how her lips curved into a small smug smile, how her laugh echoed in his head as a soft melody, how she filled every corner with her radiating air. With how the halo on top of her head glowed as bright as ever. With how her face looked like a painting, alcohol serving as her destroyer. With how desperate she is to get treated to a McDonald’s that she almost broke her ankle in the process. With how the world seemed so amazing, so pure, so meaningful— sober or not—because of her. With how the bubblegum pink dress gleamed with every move she made. He’s in love. With her.

Does that make sense? Is that acceptable? Is it okay to fall in love?

So many questions. But there’s only one answer. He doesn’t want to know. He just wants to savour this moment, fall in love with someone who he’ll lose soon, get drunk with someone who’s going to lose him, too.

“We should go and get your well-deserved McDonald’s then,” Finn rasped, offering a small wink that made her cheeks blush. “Are you sure your ankle is okay?”

“I’m fine, I don’t need a piggyback ride or anything,” joked (Y/N), which made him roll his eyes and stand up. She stood up, too, after being offered a hand. “But,” she started, as they calmly walked back to the bench and the almost empty McDonald’s and the lamppost, “I don’t mind a piggyback ride from you, seeing how well-built the mighty Finn Bálor is.”

“I promise you a piggyback ride soon.”

“Pssh. Stop that.”

“Stop what?” he questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Stop making promises you never really intend to keep.”

Finn looked at her with a bewildered expression, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I have that habit of making promises. I also have that habit of keeping them.”

“People can’t promise you anything.”

“I think, in all thirty-four years I’ve lived through, I’ve picked that up already.”

(Y/N) laughed a glorious laugh. Smiled another light smile. “I guess.” As they both stepped inside the McDonald’s, the smell of cooking meat overwhelmed them. “Apple pie and fries?”

“Apple pie and fries.”

And now they’re back in the park again, sitting on the soft grass with their legs crossed. They looked like children, hungry and lost. They were washing fries down with vodka and choking on their words. She didn’t mind sharing. She didn’t mind him lying down on the grass while he finished the rest of the vodka. She didn’t mind how she opened up about her past relationships. She didn’t mind opening up to him like a book waiting to be read.

“So, that’s the story of how my foot got stuck in a wall.”

“Why kick it in the first place?” Finn laughed, and she shrugged playfully as she clapped the salt off of her fingers. He looked up to the sky. It’s early. 5 AM. He has to leave soon. “We should head back. Our friends might be looking for us.”

“Oh, y—” Her ringtone hit. She fished for her phone in her purse and laughed.

“What is it?” Instead of giving him a verbal reply, (Y/N) turned her phone and made him read the reason why she laughed. Two text messages from Henry, the guy who got promoted.

HENRY — (Y/N), where the actual fuck are you? Aria is drunk off of her ass and had already puked on Oliver’s sweatshirt. (Sent: 5:02 AM)

HENRY — Update on Aria: Slightly sober. Threw up again when Oliver suggested getting seafood. (Sent: 5:03 AM)

“Speaking of friends.” She grinned devilishly and locked her phone. Picking up the plastic bag of McDonald’s on the grass, she smiled at him. They walked back to the bench, to the empty McDonald’s, the skyscrapers. They felt exhausted, like any second they can collapse. Every inch of their bodies are tensed to the point that every move hurt.

The karaoke bar with its shining neon sign and vibrations came to view once they rounded the corner, both engulfed with silence. “Thank you,” (Y/N) whispered, grabbing Finn so they were hidden from Henry and his pack. “Thank you so fucking much. This is the best night of my life. Or morning. Whatever.” They both suppressed a snicker. “Give me your phone.” And so he did, gave her his phone unlocked, not even asking why. After a few seconds, she handed his phone back to him. “There’s my number.”

And suddenly, a shout of, “(Y/N), I know you’re there!” interrupted Finn’s mixed feelings and the small flip his stomach did.

“It’s Henry,” she whispered. “I got to go.”

Before she turned the corner again, (Y/N) grabbed the collar of his shirt and pressed her lips firmly against his. The force of it so strong that it almost knocked Finn over. The flip his stomach did repeated, the mixed feelings weren’t so mixed. He only felt one thing and the space in his heart got filled, finally.

He’s in love. He’s not terrified. He’s not doubtful. Only hopelessly in love.

“For so many hours, you made me want to do that to you,” (Y/N) confessed, after pulling away. And there she goes again. Spilling her heart out without a care. He admired that. “And you know what’s crazy? I’m in love with you.”

I’m. In. Love. With. You. Five words that made Finn’s mind explode.

“It’s not crazy.” And that’s true. “Love is love.”

“I guess so.” And with that, she leaned in again and kissed him. Eager but passionate. Soft but rough at the edges. Sweet but poisonous. It felt like the kiss is somehow making him feel everything she felt a few hours ago. Like she was transferring her own emotions, her watercolors, to him— emotionless, a boring, old canvas.

She pulled away. The flow of emotions stopped and he was no longer a watercolor painting, no longer a masterpiece created by her calloused hands and bruised knuckles and fingertips. Winking at him, she backed away slowly. To the road. Away from their fire. Away from their beacon. Away from him.

And with that, the sky turned lilac and bright orange and the sun balanced on the horizon. Birds were flying. The people are awake, ready to start their busy city life once more. The dark yellow cab was waiting for her and the promoted-stable-life Henry and the drunk Aria and Oliver with the puked-on sweatshirt. It was morning.

Her dress swished side to side when she made each step, the satin and lace gleaming under the sunlight. The halo on her head is still glowing, more iridescent as ever. Each step carried a weight that even the cement can’t handle. Each step, the air radiated off of her. And the bubblegum pink dress. Everything had a change of heart but it stayed there. Glowing. Radiating. Still satin and lace.

Still bubblegum pink.

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