#the screenplay was cowritten by christopher yost

[jupitermelichios]

Ragnarok Remix

So a lot of you will probably already know that I really don’t like Ragnarok as a movie, and I thought it would be an interesting exercise to try and rewrite the plot to see if I could come up with something I’m happier with. I did the same thing for Star Wars Episode 1 a couple of years ago and it was a lot of fun.

I’ve kept most of the shape of the story, since the structure is really good, and a lot of the scenes. The main change is swapping out Hella for a different villain because that character isn’t Hella in any recognisable way, and using that name added nothing to the character and hobbled them in terms of what stories they could tell in the future, as well as cutting off the entire Tenth Realm stuff and the associated characters. I’ve also swapped a lot of Odin’s scenes with Frigga, because frankly Odin doesn’t deserve the Morgan Freeman treatment they gave him. The final big change was to Loki’s timeline. Given the nature of NDAs at Disney, they may well not have known that Loki was due to be killed off, and since we do know that now, I wanted to give him more character beats so that he was in a place where killing him off made more sense, and we therefore could do kid!Loki in the future rather than just bringing back Hiddles from the dead for the fourth time.

Anyway, this is mostly just a writing exercise. Hopefully even if you like Ragnarok, you might find it interesting.

So Thor still goes to Muspelheim, and everything plays out the same except for a throwaway mention of Thor being Odin’s second born child from Surtr. (I would also change the thing where Thor doesn’t know Surtr exists, because honestly not knowing who rules one of Asgard’s client kingdoms is exactly the kind of shit Thor was supposed to have grown out of in Dark World).

He goes home, finds Loki pretending to be Odin and reveals his disguise. They go to earth to find Odin, but when they get to the nursing home he’s not there. The nonsense with Strange happens, because a lot of people didn’t bother to see his solo movie so he’s got to be here as well so that audiences know who he is before IW, but instead of sending them to Norway, they get sent to Monte-Carlo.

Thor tries to get Loki to apologise to Odin, but Odin seems largely disinterested and when they try and persuade him to come home, he says he feels like seeing the world instead and one of them can be king in his place. Odin’s whole manner is shifty, and the audience is left with the impression that he knows something he’s not telling.

The siblings start to fight over which of them will be the one to rule, while Thor also keeps trying to persuade his father to return, when they’re suddenly picked up by the rainbow bridge and whisked back to Asgard but a visibly frightened Skurge.

They find Hogun in the bridge chamber, seriously injured. He tells them that he was leading a scouting party to investigate rumours of a monster being seen on the outskirts of Asgard. Through a mix of exposition and flashback we learn that the rumours were true and the whole party were wiped out except him, who managed to escape by calling the Rainbow bridge, however he lost a leg in the transport as it was hurried and Skurge doesn’t have Heimdall’s eyes. This allows us to establish the ‘don’t leave the bridge while it’s moving’ thing.

Hogun dies in Thor’s arms, and Thor swears revenge. Dragging Loki with him, he gathers Sif and the remaining warriors Three and gets Skurge to transport them to somewhere close to the site of the last sighting, but not so close that we don’t have time for a couple of quick character beats to remind the audience who the three are and get them invested.

They find the monster and try to fight it but it’s crazy strong. Thor tries to send Sif home to rally the troops there but she refuses, so Volstagg goes, promising to send help. They continue trying to fight and Fandrall is killed. When Mangog destroys Mjolnir, Sif realises there’s no hope and calls for a rainbow bridge. Thor tries to pull her in with them but she refuses to go and he looses an arm in the beam (if we’re doing King Thor, we’re committing to full King Thor). The Mangog reaches into the beam and tries again to kill them. Sif distracts it, saving their lives, but Thor is knocked out and he and Loki are both pushed out of the beam.

While he’s unconscious, Thor has a vision of his mother. She’s in her chambers in Asgard weaving a tapestry. When he asks her how he can be seeing her when she’s dead, she just reminds him that she’s a goddess. Thor tells her what’s happened, and she names the Mangog for the first time. She tells him that while mortals answer to gods, gods answer to the mangog, who exists to punish their sins. When Thor asks what sins Asgard as committed, Frigga asks him whether he thought the conquest of the other nine realms was achieved bloodlessly, but doesn’t elaborate further. Before wakes up, Thor sees that the tapestry she’s weaving shows Frigga and Odin with not two but three children, himself and Loki, plus a redheaded girl. When he touches the figure of the girl, she fades out of the picture.

Thor wakes up on Sakaar, and gets picked up by Valkyrie who takes him to see the Grandmaster. Unlike in the original, the Grandmaster seems to know who he is, although when Thor says he’s from the nine realms the Grandmaster keeps trying to correct him, insisting there’s ten realms not nine. He’s also accompanied by a dark-haired woman who Thor is convinced is Loki, but who refuses to acknowledge him. We see Thor being prepared for battle, but rather than a haircut, it’s getting a metal cap put over the stump of his missing arm. He realises Valkyrie is a Valkyrie (but based on her tattoos rather than her sword this time) and tries to persuade her to fight for Asgard but she refuses.

We cut back to Asgard, where Volstagg has assembled an army to try and slow down the Mangog. We see him saying goodbye to his wife and their many children. We discover that Sif survived and made it home, but is badly wounded. She tries to argue that she should accompany the army, but Volstagg refuses, saying that Thor would want her to be regent in his absence, since there’s no one else he trusts more than her.

In the gladiator tunnels on Sakaar Thor meets Korg and Miek, since they were the best bit of that film, but we also get a cameo for Raava the Unskrulled. (If you haven’t read Black Bolt, she’s a female-identifying Skrull space-pirate who is one of my favourite characters in Marvel, and would fit very well into this movie).

We get the big set-piece fight with the Hulk in the arena largely unchanged. The only real difference is that the Grandmaster’s box and the crowd contain a lot more recognisable Marvel alien species, including Khymelians and Shi’ar (technically Fox probably owned them back them but it’s not like they were using them), Skrulls, Kree and the Sisterhood of the Badoon. This is our chance to establish Skrulls existing prior to Cap Marvel, even if it’s only as a tiny background Easter-egg.

While Thor’s unconscious after the fight, he once again sees his mother and a tapestry. This time it shows the world-tree but there are ten realms instead of nine. When Thor asks her about the tenth realm and the disappearing girl, she tells him that once there had been ten realms, and Odin had used the inhabitants of the tenth realm, who call themselves Angels, as mercenaries in subduing the other realms. The battles grew bloodier and bloodier and Odin was never satisfied with what he had conquered. She says that he had destroyed realms, and when Thor protests that all the realms are still there, she tells him that what makes a realm is the people rather than the land. Eventually the price the Angels demanded grew so high that even Odin couldn’t pay it, and so as payment they took Odin’s firstborn, a girl called Aldriff. Thor wakes up as he’s trying to ask his mother what happened to the tenth realm.

Thor wakes up in Hulk’s apartments on Sakaar and Hulk mocks him for calling for his mother in his sleep. Thor realises that if Hulk is strong enough to defeat him then maybe he’s strong enough to fight Mangog. He tries to persuade Hulk to help, but Hulk refuses. Realising that he’d have a much better job persuading Banner to save innocent people, he asks Hulk to change back, and Hulk again refuses. Thor then asks him to help him leave the planet, and that Hulk agrees to, on the understanding that Hulk will stay behind.

Hulk calls Valkyrie to his room and Thor jumps her. During the fight he wonders aloud why there are so many Asgardians on Sakaar, saying it’s a conincidence that he and Loki ended up in the same place as Valkyrie. The mention of Loki’s name seems to distract her enough that Thor’s able to get the upper hand and overpower her. They take Valkyrie’s control device to remove Thor’s electric collar, and find the quinjet. Thor manages to activate it enough to shut the door, intending to go back on his word and take Hulk with him. Hulk goes mad trying to escape, but in his anger accidentally triggers the final message the jet recieved from Natasha as he left, causing him to turn back into Bruce. However the quinjet is now too badly damaged to be used.

Valkyrie is searching the palace for the two of them. During her search she goes into a room below the slave quarters were a huge cage holds a giant wolf. Loki is there, talking affectionately to it, as though it were a toddler. It’s initially calm, but goes wild when Valkyrie enters, trying to get to her to eat her. As Valkyrie enters it looks as though Loki is about to open the cage, but she stops when she sees Valkyrie watching her. Valkyrie confronts Loki, demanding to know if it’s true that she’s Loki. Loki admits that it is, and explains that although there was only a few minutes between her and Thor leaving the rainbow bridge, the nature of Einstein-rosen bridges means that she’s been on Sakaar for decades of mortal time. She disguised herself because Loki is known to be an agent of Thanos and even though she’s no longer affiliated with him, most planets wouldn’t wait long enough to let her explain before they executed her. Valkyrie asks if the wolf is Loki’s son and Loki admits that he is. Valkyrie says that that must mean that he’s Fenris Wolf, and goes to kill him but Loki stops her, saying that even if he’s the herald of Ragnarok and a monster, he’s still her son and she would burn worlds to protect him, and then adds that there’s nothing they could do to hurt him anyway, since he’s the child of a god and an Eternal (no further explanation than this as to his parentage is offered). Valkyrie leaves to find Thor, and Loki tells Fenris that she wishes that she could just let Thor die for a change, but she can’t bring herself to. She turns back into her male form and goes searching for Thor.

Thor and Banner try to regroup and come up with a new plan, and Banner tells Thor that if he even turns into the Hulk again he doesn’t think he’ll turn back. We get the impression that Thor would prepared to risk that if it would save Asgard.

Back on Asgard, Volstagg tries to call for the bifrost to take away civilians who have got caught in the battle, but Skurge is so afraid of the Mangog he deserts his post. We cut to Siff exploring the the Allfather’s vault looking for weapons, and we see the eternal flame there as well as various other little cameos. Then she finds Heimdall, locked up in a cell inside the vault. She releases him (she’s holding the infinity gauntlet we saw in Thor 1, and asks him “is this…” and he tells her it’s a fake before saying that they need to hurry to the gate.) They arrive at the bifrost just in time to pull out the civilians before they’re killed. Siff asks Heimdall how the battle is going, and asks whether Odin or Thor is coming to save them, and he just tells her to ready the city’s last defences.

On Sakaar, Loki finds Thor and warns him that the Valkyrie is looking for him, and tells him he should take one of the Grandmaster’s ships. When Thor asks why he’s helping him, Loki says that their mother appeared to him in a dream and asked him to watch out for his brother.

Valkyrie finds them just as they’re stealing a ship and Loki shows her a vision of the death of the Valkyries in the battle to retrieve Princess Aldriff to slow her down. She knocks him out, but the memory of her fallen comrades is enough to persuade her to help Thor. She uses a wall pannel to unlock the slave quarters, and Korg suddenly finds that the looping tunnel doesn’t loop anymore and he’s able to leave. They begin an uprising.

Thor wants to leave Loki behind, but Valkyrie wants to get him as far away from Fenris as possible, worried that he’ll unlock the cage, and insists they bring his unconscious body with them. They’re initially planning to aim for the portal Thor had come through, but Heimdall appears before him to tell him to take the Devil’s Anus portal.

They take the ship through the Devil’s Anus, pursued by guards. However, Fenris senses his mother leaving and goes wild, managing to smash apart the bars of his cage. His violent actions begin the total collapse of the palace, as he was in the foundations of the building. He manages to follow them by jumping from guard ship to guard ship, eventually diving through the portal after them. During this sequence, Loki comes too. His skin as been turning gradually more and blue until eventually the collar freezes and snaps. As soon as he wakes up he reverts to his Asgardian form. Banner reiterates that he can’t become the Hulk, and we see that Thor has finally learned his lesson when he tells Banner than he won’t ask that of him.

The Mangog arrives in Asgard, announcing his presence by throwing Volstagg’s body onto the steps of the palace where Siff and the last remaining soldiers are rallied to meet him. As they raise their swords to attack, Thor’s ship arrives and Thor confronts the Mangog. Meanwhile Volstagg’s wife is trying to get the civilians out via the bifrost. Valkyrie and Banner go to help. Hildegun recognises Valkyrie and explains that she was a Valkyrie herself once, but retired before the massacre to get married. She produces a dragonfang blade out of her pack, and gives it to Valkyrie to use in the battle.

Thor’s battle against the Mangog is not going well, even with the support of Siff and the soldiers. It manages to get Thor pinned and puts out one of his eyes, and he passes out from the pain.

For a third time, he sees his mother. He tells her he can’t fight the Mangog, that he can’t do anything without his hammer and he’s not as strong as her and Odin. She tells him that he’s better than either of them ever were, and he asks her again about the tenth realm. She tells him that as punishment for taking her child, she wiped them from existence, and that’s why she says that Thor is a better person than his parents. Thor says that being a good person isn’t what he needs, he needs power, and she tells him that the power is within him - the hammer was just a conduit.

Seeing what’s happening, Heimdall uses the Bifrost to send a vision of himself to Odin, to tell him that he’s needed. When Odin refuses, and calls Heimdall a traitor for not reporting Loki, Heimdall tells him that he had to watch the slaughter Odin ordered on the Nine worlds, and listen to the screams, and keep the secret of the tenth realm, but he’s damned if he’s going to passively watch all of Asgard burn for Odin and Frigga’s sins. Odin refuses again, but before Heimdall can do anything else he’s distracted by events on Asgard and disappears. We get a beat of Odin just sitting, obviously considering Heimdall’s words before we cut back to the bifrost.

The civilians on the bridge are nearly at the bifrost control when Fenris arrives. Bruce asks what it wants, and Loki appears out of the crowd and says that Fenris wants to eat the world. Valkyrie says that they have to fight it, and Loki says that he can’t kill his own child. Realising that there’s no other choice, despite Valkyrie’s reminder that he doesn’t have to, Bruce Hulks to fight Fenris. When Valkyrie tries to ask Loki to get the civilians to the Bifrost, he’s disappeared. Before she can do anything, the Mangog appears between her and the Bifrost. Heimdall is forced to leave his post and fight.

In Asgard, Thor wakes up to find Loki with him. He tells Loki that Mangog is here to punish Asgard for their parents’ sins (to which Loki says that he knows, Frigga had told him as well) but there might be a way to save the bit of Asgard that matters - the people.

Thor arrives to join the battle on the bridge, now able to use his lightning powers without a conduit.

Skurge turns out to have been hiding inside the Bifrost hall. He hears Odin’s call and activates the bridge to bring him through to join the fight at the same time as Loki reappears. They end up fighting back to back, and Loki blames him for what’s happening. Mangog hits Loki especially hard and he looses control of his shape, reverting to his Jotun form. He says that he must have made a pretty poor replacement for the baby that the Angels stole, and Odin says that he didn’t steal him to be a replacement, and there’s never been a day when he regretted taking Loki in, even when Loki was lost to them.

Surtr emerges from the palace and begins burning everything, and then the Mangog destroys the bifrost controls just he begins burning, trapping the remaining Asgardians on a burning planet.

Korg’s ship appears above the fight. He seems fairly bemused to have gone from a collapsing palace to another collapsing palace, but agrees to take the civilians when Hildegund asks and between her and Skurge they manage to get the civilians onto the ship.

Realising that there’s no hope, Odin tells Hulk and Valkyrie to get to the ship. Valkyrie isn’t happy about taking orders from the man who got her entire unit killed but Thor persuades her. Loki wants to stay because of Fenris, but Odin tells him that even though he’s a better parent than Odin even managed to be, there’s nothing to be gained from staying here. Loki tries to say goodbye to Fenris, but Fenris is so consumed by hunger that he attacks him, and Loki admits there’s nothing to be done.

Thor tells Odin that he’s going to stay and help him hold off Mangog long enough, but Odin tells him that Asgard in exile will need a king, knocks him out and gives him to Loki to drag to the ship. As it pulls away, Fenris leaps for it, nearly bringing it down and Skurge leaps from the ship, sacrificing himself in order to distract Fenris.

Once the ship is gone, Odin is struck down by Mangog. As he’s dying he sees a vision of Frigga reaching for him. He says that he can’t go, he’s a monster and should stay and burn with the monsters, and Frigga tells him that she’s a monster too but at least they taught their children to do better than them, and they walk into the darkness of death as Asgard burns behind them.

On the ship, Thor tries to appoint Loki as king, but he’s too caught up in grief over Fenris, and then Sif, since she had been the regent, but she refuses and names him King Thor. The last shot of the movie (that isn’t a post credits scene) is of a bearded, one-eyed, one-armed Thor seated on his throne surrounded by the survivors of Asgard.

#iw spoilers #endgame spoiler warning #thor #loki #ragnarok #rewrite #i love the mythology of 616 fenris #and we need lady loki in a movie #sif got more screentime and character in AOS than in the Thor movies combined and that's a crime #the screenplay was cowritten by christopher yost #who wrote some of my favourite comics #i don't know what went wrong #I'm guessing he mostly wrote the jokes? #I'm sort of tempted to turn this into a fic #but i don't have the time #and no one would read it