#the thermostat says my house is 72 degrees but my feet have felt like icicles all day

[sluttyten]

🥶

#i can't tell if my bedroom is actually so cold #or if my hands and feet are absolutely freezing due to my anxiety #but i'm going with anxiety bc like im wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants in my bed with flannel sheets #and a thick comforter and another blanket on top of it #the thermostat says my house is 72 degrees but my feet have felt like icicles all day #but im also pretty sure they're sweating which is a little tmi #but im currently stressing over jury duty so 😗✌️ #googling what kinds of things i might be asked so i can try to figure out answers that won't get me selected #which is difficult not knowing what kind of trial it's going to be #just hoping i give off enough anxious and biased vibes that i don't get selected #like my social anxiety has been hitting for the last few hours #i can call in a few hours and find out if i even have to show up and that alone is driving me insane #i can't do anything right now other than research this stuff #like i want to write or finish watching this show i've been watching but i can't enjoy anything right now i can only think about this #it's like the other night when i got the summons in the mail and literally didn't do anything with the rest of my day #was reading something earlier about waiting to be selected for jury duty and my heart was pounding and i was imagining it #and like thinking about how i'm definitely gonna feel like i'm going to puke tomorrow im gonna be so shaky #i haven't felt like this in like 5 years since i was last in school and had to worry about public speaking or big projects #like they gave me such bad anxiety i get so hot and red and like get a little buzzy in my ears... yknow casual things #so earlier i was freaking out thinking about how they select the jury foreman which i absolutely 100 percent cannot do #i can't speak up in public even when it was in front of a classroom of people i've known for years #i couldn't bring myself to speak up and ask questions or say thoughts for a discussion (to the point where i failed a project once bc of it) #but i've never been diagnosed with any form of anxiety by a doctor or anything like that so I don't know if i even have an anxiety disorder #but just like based off of a lot of things i've noticed over the years and the way that i'll like focus on a thing that's causing me stress #to the point where it's debilitating and i can't do anything except freak out about it #i'd say i've got something going on.... like back when i had that promotion offered to me at work and i literally cried in my room stressed #about the pressure of the position which i then only held for a few months bc i can't handle the social aspect of it #anyway i've ranted enough now i'm going to go and try to do like anything.... finish writing maybe