#the time scooby and shaggy straight up faked a make out as a disguise in witch's ghost

[outofmymindbebacklater]

can't wait for the homophobes to make up excuses why Velma shouldn't have a crush on a girl cuz "it's a kids show" when this was literally a thing

#not wven to mention the fact that daphne and fred were lowkey a thing #and i could go on #the time fred got mad when all the guys crowded daphne in legend of the vampire #the time scooby and shaggy straight up faked a make out as a disguise in witch's ghost #every time someone called out Fred for always pairing him and daphne together when they split up and looked for clues #blushing and acting silly over a crush is NOT a new thing in scooby doo #these guys have been teenagers since the 60s or something. it's inevitable #it's about time we got to see velma have a turn #velma dinkley #lesbian #scooby doo

[natashalie-lumley]

What’s new Scooby Doo? Oh just more zombies

You know when you get bored so you scroll through the “to rent” section on your streaming service of choice looking at the new movies, trying to find something to scratch that itch, and then you happen upon the most random things ever? Yep, that’s exactly how I found this brand new answer to “what will they think of next that they really shouldn’t do”: SCOOBY DOO: RETURN TO ZOMBIE ISLAND!

From Amazon:  Join Scooby-Doo, Shaggy and the Mystery Inc. gang as they win a vacation of a lifetime and attempt to put their mystery solving days behind them. As soon as they arrive to the tropical island, Velma, Daphne and Fred can’t help but notice how strangely familiar this island is, to a terrifying trip they once took decades ago. They soon find out paradise comes with a price when they encounter an army of zombies! Hop on board and travel with Scooby-Doo and the gang, as they unearth the mystery of Zombie Island in an original movie adventure!

So my first thought, upon seeing this exists, is “holy carp wth”. My second, upon reading the above description, is “decades???” And my third, upon watching the first half hour and listening to the cliche out-of-touch Sheriff describe what kids used to do in, idk, the sixties, was “wait, weren’t they out of school in the original ZI? And they had professions and everything? so if this is decades... how OLD are they?” (Of course, they don’t look any different, at all, because cartoons.)

Anyway I’m enjoying this ride and I decided to bring ya’ll along with me, all dozen of you who might see this lmao. Spoilers ahead!

This is a dream right? It has to be a dream because 1) when did Fred set up that trap, 2) their traps never work that well, and 3) Daphne just used a makeup brush to touch-up the Mystery Machine. Or maybe that’s just normal for her.

Oh it was a dream! Just to lead into the cliche “the thing you had a nightmare about didn’t happen that way but it did happen”

Shaggy and Scooby and their all-to-convenient Judge outfits

Again... very cliche out-of-touch adult.

OMFG ELVIRA! Didn’t she do a movie with them?

It’s at this point that I’m looking at imdb trying to figure out who voices Velma cause I don’t think it’s the original.

Lol one of the rumors about ghosts involves “an ancient ghost that asks you to program the VCR” and the obviously-teens going “what’s a VCR”. Cue me laughing my ass of remembering the days of SD movies on VCR.

Elvira’s convenient vacation offer is so ridiculously convenient I haven’t decided whether or not she’s in on it.

OH it’s Kate Micucci! that explains the voice.

“We’re noticing this strange things but absolutely none of us are going to consider it mysterious at all” is as useful in conversation as telling the jury to strike something from the record in a court show.

How is the original zombie movie “unsolved”. They solved it. 

If the captain of the boat is that worried about the zombies why is waiting to come back right before sundown? Why not come at noon? ...... he’s in on it isn’t he. Wasn’t the original?

Um... don’t they have some sort of cell phone or GPS that could tell them what they have obviously picked up on “we’re clearly not in the Caribbean”.

“Wait until the last person is alone to actually say more than 2 words warning them to get away” cliche

Hasn’t the gang had a close friendship for this entire time? Have they literally never talked about anything but solving mysteries? I mean canonically I swear they’ve spent time in conversation about other things. There’s even whole episodes of shows where they have relationship and stuff... Are you telling me they’re only friends in circumstance?

(It’s at this point where I decide the other good thing about this live posting is I won’t be tempted to fast-forward through the parts that irritate me like all the hijinks of “we’re totally keeping our promise really”)

Did the driver’s phone literally just ring so we had the conveniently “dum dum DUUUMMMM” effect? ‘Cause he doesn’t seem in a rush to answer it.

So... they changed the name... to Moonstar. Instead of Moonscar. Wow. That one letter. Does so much.

CATS!!!!!!!!!! KITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes please

Ok so she’s recapping the first movie and saying “it was for a school project”.... but still...

“The only thing we have to do on this island is relax” and, idk, not look at a GPS or anything with location information...

“I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for the guest book pages being torn out, right Alan?” “Moths.”

Why -are- there so many cameras.

Holy carp look at that it’s the same forking people just modernised a little.

Why is he flirting with Daphne.

I forget, is Fred canonically with Daphne rn? I can never keep that straight.

If this blonde lady says “yes and” again I’m going to be very irked. It’s not an improv class honey.

Why is she so horrified by their manners/lack-thereof?

Why is blonde lady crying? Other than the fact that she’s a horrible actress.

Also why has nobody noticed that Hotel Manager Alan is clearly wearing the same cat-head necklace from the first movie but painted.

“Shiatsu?” “No, Great Dane!”

Ah yes, cartoon details - Scooby slurps on a straw but the liquid level never changes.

Are... the zombies.... giving them....... massages? Or just really failing claw their flesh apart?

That arm was hollow.

If the Mystery Machine is in the frickin’ garage I’m either going to die laughing or bang my head on the table.

The cat necklace now has eyes.

Scooby just poked Shaggy in the nipple during their demonstration.

At this point the gang have seen zombies, witches/actual witch’s ghost, aliens, and idk what else. So why are they scoffing at zombies?

Three of the four people were facing Scooby and Shaggy entirely and somehow still missed them running away.

Ah yes, a trapped kitchen cabinet. These people truly do know how to deal with them.

Zombies don’t haunt.

The “I’m clearly acting, let me try to say that again”

It’s at this point that I start to think the cameras and the bad actor and the convenient look-alikes all mean that this is a setup for somebody’s idea of a TV show

Weren’t the original zombies faster?

I WAS RIGHT! IT’S A MOVIE! But also directors don’t normally act in their movies.

This is obviously just the setup-within-a-setup. Haven’t decided what the second one is... cause that’s definitely a were-cat-person.

Is Mr Bad-actor-director in on the second plot? Because he’s definitely over-acting this “oh no I’ve been found out” and is not crying.

If they try to make Mystery Monster Truck Machine sentient I’ll be really annoyed.

“I thought I was hallucinating!” “Why didn’t you tell us?” Um. because he thought he was insane?

Cartoon details - everybody is mysteriously dry minutes after being doused with water.

So they ask “what’s the next scene” and he walks away going “you’ll see” and then... nothing happens. For ages.

Why is the gang so bad at acting scared? They’ve all been scared before.

Was Alan supposed to be saved? Still not sure if he’s in on this or not...

So it is very definitely the second day now, close to sundown, and even though they know about the “making a movie” plot absolutely nobody has questioned if that changes the plan on how they’re getting home.

Ah yes the cats

“I know I should be freaking out” but I’m too focused on my job cliche

So what happened to the fake islanders that greeted them in the beginning?

Fred is waaaaaaay to in to his car. Like... is there going to be shipping in fanfiction now? (Please don’t tell me I really reAlLY REALLY don’t wanna know)

So who even ARE these three random mofos? And what is with that hairstyle?

Still not convinced Alan isn’t part of this second plot... gone back and forth several times.

Why do people on tv use 2 feet on the brake when they need to brake really dramatically hard?

Please tell me the ramp only sort of works and they end up landing in the middle of the hotel

Aaaaah darn, they made it.

What was the point of the bridge being taken out if the cat people make it to the hotel without getting wet?

Ah yes, the “hiding in the hotel and running from the bad guys” montage

This is such an odd music choice...

Cat person clearly saw Shaggy and Scooby run from their hiding spots, so why’d he smash it anyway?

Daphne has so far done a better job of hiding than anyone

Cartoon detail - blue vase that got smashed a few seconds ago is back in its spot next to the stairs

Ah yes, the “take them off guard and pretend to be a server in a restaurant complete with disguises from who knows where”

Cat people that don’t like fish.... ok.

That rug would’ve unrolled very quickly, or at the very least at the bottom of the stairs.

So the cat people sundial device thing magically points to the treasure... but didn’t the cat people not know where it was? It’s not like the original movie was the first harvest moon since Moonscar’s death. They would’ve been able to do that a long time ago if that was the point of the dial. I know I worded that poorly.

AH the islanders were in on the second plot! That makes sense.

Am I the first person to remember there’s a fourth catperson?

Cat whistle.... cat... whistle... ok

How did the police get there?

So was the cat moondial laser thing part of Fred’s trap?

Are you saying this is the first time the cats have decided to dig in that basement? And it just conveniently happens while they’re all there?

He just walks off with all the gold. Doesn’t even offer to share it.

Why -did- Fred sell the Mystery Machine? I mean it should’ve just been repainted and ta-da- it’s a normal van.

Why -is- the Sheriff there. Ostensibly they’re in a completely different state. Why... is Daphne crying now... this is... ridiculous.

If it weren’t for you (all 3 people who might read this) I’d skip this.

Why are they now friends with the cats?

So... the mystery of the fourth cat person is just... unsolved? that’s ridiculous. Especially because Velma would’ve counted that as a lose end that needs tied up.

So! That was a trip! lmao. Hope everybody gets a laugh out of it.

#spoilers #scooby doo return to zombie island #scooby doo #live-post movie