#there's a book somewhere about a kid off with her grandpa in a old van and it was one he had spent a life with his love/husband/partner in

[saxifactumterritum]

Friday recs!

It's second friday! IDK what you named the days of the week, here we call it second friday. Here we go, hold onto your socks times are wild.

TV show: [i just typed all this out and then tumblr ate it]. The Confessions of Frannie Langton, you can watch it in the UK on ITVX, click here. An adaptation of the book (same title) by Sara Collins (click here to find on The Storygraph), it's a four episode miniseries about Frannie Langton, her trial and as per the title, her confession. People said it's a love story, which I guess it is. The relationships between the characters are compelling, the cruelty is all mixed up with, maybe love isn't correct but something.

Book: Not really a book, but I was down a rabbit hole and came across The Sins of the Cities of the Plains, which is gay erotica from 1881. I haven't actually read it all, it's pretty much lots and lots of sex. It is super interesting to read the later parts about Sodomy and Tribadism, I know a bit about these definitions from other research but I like reading about the definitions in this sort of text, where it's written about sex. Most of my contemporary sources when I was researching this were sensational, medical, tracts against the acts, or court documents. Anyway, you can read it on Wikisource.

Please note, it is explicit, not safe for work, about sex, men have lots and lots (and lots and lots) of sex. Now you know, you can click here.

Radio: I've been listening to Jeeves and Wooster radio plays with Michael Hordern (Jeeves) and Richard Briers (Bertie Wooster). I like Mr Hordern being Jeeves very much, he's very funny, and I really like the interplay between their Jeeves and Wooster.

Fanfic: whose history, waiting by dotsayers, click here. It's, uh, Hot Fuzz, Rivers of London, and The Ritual, I don't know all these, I read a Hot Fuzz fanfic once, I have no idea how I ended up there but it was super cool! It is third in a series, I didn't read the others. It's a great vibe, mundanity and Sublime, a creeping edge of horror. Lovely!

Music: I been listening to Fire in the Wild album by Wild on Bandcamp recurrently (click here), super dreamy and nice.

That's it! Second Friday! have a good weekend!

If anyone has recs, I'd like to hear, tell me about cool things. Especially this week if anyone has recs for queer kids books for gifting. Not like, Tango Makes Three, just take it as read I know the basics and so do the small people in my life.

#I'm good at days! #friday recs #I like kids books about queer families don't get me wrong. I'm not a parent though and I'm never going to be #I want my kids to read about those things but also I want them to read about being the weirdo #they're all tiny little wierdos i love them so much. anyway. or like #there's a book somewhere about a kid off with her grandpa in a old van and it was one he had spent a life with his love/husband/partner in #I liked that! #I've got a few about monstrosity and some nice one where people are just people including queer #just idk even. #also I am 100% here for the illustrations so if I don't like the pictures I'm noping away

[ak47stylegirl]

The fifth and final of many Important deliveries.

okay, it alan turn now and...well this story had a mind of its own, it went somewhere unexpected...anyways spoilers. here are the others, Scott, John, Virgil, Gordon. edit: forgot to link the other fics, sorry I’ll fix that very soon, just that the links ain’t working..

I hope you enjoy.

"Um...Jeff?" Lucile said, standing behind his desk, where he was working on some paperwork. "can I talk to you?"

"sure?" he said, looking turning around, Lucy looked nervous, rubbing her arm. "is everything okay Lucy?" he said standing up.

"well...you know how I been feeling a little off lately and how I went to the doctors yesterday?" Lucile said.

"yes, everything okay right?" he asked, his worry starting to build. "there isn't anything wrong is there?"

"no...no nothing wrong...exactly..."Lucile said,

"Lucile, you're not making sense..." he said, raising an eyebrow "what are you trying to say?"

"well...l let just say I may need to get out Gordon's baby clothes in nice mouths time," Lucile said dryly.

his eyes widen as the realisation of what Lucile had just said, sunk in.

"what?!" he said, suddenly leaning back on the desk for support. "are...are you saying..."

"yep," Lucile said, eyes glistening. "I'm pregnant..."

he jumped forward, swing his wife off the ground in a tight hug.  "That's great lucy!" he said grinning as his wife laughed in his arms. "how far?..."

"about seven weeks," Lucile said. "I can't believe it...we going to have another baby."

They honestly thought Gordon was going to be their last...well they were wrong, weren't they? He thought smiling to himself.

"I can't either, oh lucy this is great," he said, thrilled.

A week later.

He was sitting on the pouch, reading a book on space that dad had got him for his eighth birthday, while Scott was playing a game of ball with Virgil, who could surprisingly for a six-year-old keep up with his much bigger ten-year-old brother. 

Thought he much rather read a good book than play a game of ball, he's one of the best readers in his grade for a reason...plus whenever he does play ball he always gets hit in the head by the ball...it really wasn't fair.

"boys, can you come inside, please? Me and your mother want to talk to you" dad called.

He raised an eyebrow as he put his book down, standing up to follow dad inside.

 What's going on?

He shared a look with Scott, who seemed equally confused about what was going on as he was. 

"Daddy, what's going on?" Virgil asked, looking up at their father with wide eyes.

dad smiled, the kind of smile that a lot of parents do when they know something you don't.  "you'll find out soon, Virgil."

They walked into the lounge where mum was sitting, waiting with Gordon in tow. once they were all seated dad started talking.

"me and your mother have some wonderful news to share with you boys," dad said, smiling.

Where have I heard this before? I'm sure I have heard this before-wait! He thought his eyes widening. 

"you're going to have a new sibling," mum said, grinning.

Did mum just say what I think she said? He thought looking at his brothers, John and Virgil looked shocked, and Gordon just looked confused...which was understandable, Gordon hasn't been through this before.

"new sibling?" Gordon asked. 

"yes, sweety" mum said to Gordon, "you going to be a big brother."

gordon nose scrunched up "can't we get a puppy instead?" Gordon asked.

Dad and mum chuckled.

"no, sweety it doesn't work that way," mum said, snuggling Gordon in a hug. "I'm sure you'll love your baby sister or brother."

Baby sister or brother.... he thought as it finally sank in, oh this is actually happening! I'm going to another little brother or sister... I'm going to have a baby brother or sister! He thought as a big grin broke out on his face.

months later.

"I think Alan would be a good name if it's a boy" he heard dad say as he was walking past mum's and dad's room.

They're talking about the baby? He thought his curiosity peeked.

he peeked around the corner; they didn't notice him watching them.

"Hmm, Alan? Yeah, that's nice..." mum said, brushing her hair. She had lovely blond hair, a lot lighter then Gordon's who's hair was more of a strawberry blond.

"but why do I get the impression that you're trying to name all our children after the Mercury 7?" mum said, smiling at dad.

he bit his lip, ducking out of sight, his hand muffling his giggles.

"what? I don't know what you're talking about..." dad said with laughter in his voice.

he poked his head back out to see what was going on when he got his giggles under control.

he loved seeing how mum and dad acted around each other, their love so strong, they were a perfect team.

"well, sticking to your theme" mum did air quotes when she said 'theme', grinning.

dad rolled his eyes good-naturedly, smiling at mum.

he had to bite his lip again, mum and dad could be so funny at times.

"I think Allie would be a good name if it's a girl." mum said, "I always liked that name.... what do you think Scotty?"

he squealed, jumping in surprise at being caught.

"Lucy, I don't know.." Jeff said, "you're pregnant, is it really the right time to go away for a holiday?"

"Jeff, if we don't do it now, we may never do it," she said, "come on, the kids would love it, and I'm not due for another three months, it'd be fun..."

jeff sighed "okay, I guess it would do us some good to get away for a holiday, spend some time as a family."

"yeah and the boys would love playing in all that snow, they'd have the time of their lives," she said grinning, planning the trip already.

jeff nodded "I have always wanted to teach them how to ski; I could hire out cabin."

"see, it's a perfect idea," she said, kissing jeff's cheek.

He was sitting on one of the window seats of their van (they need a car that big with how many people they need to fit in) Virgil was seated next to him, head laying on his shoulder, half asleep.

 Gordon was fast asleep, hugging his teddy bear, that use to be his own but he had handed it down to john, who handed it down to Virgil, who then handed it down to Gordon. 

John was sitting behind him, most likely on his computer or reading....or sleeping; it has been a long plane ride, plus drive to get to the cabin, he thought yawning.

They turned a corner, and the mountains come in to view.

"wow," he said in awe, looking outside the window of the van.

 they were beautiful, he thought, the snow stacked on the tops sparkling like diamonds in the sun. 

"it's nice, isn't it Scotty?" mum said, looking back at them from the front seat.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. 

"what?" Virgil asked, half asleep rubbing his eyes. "what are you looking at Scotty?"

"just the mountains, Virgie," he said, letting Virgil see out the window.  

"wow..." Virgil said before yawning.

"why don't you two get some sleep?" dad said from the driver's seat. "you too John, it's still a while to go until we get there."

"will grandma and grandpa be there when we get there?" he asked, sleepily.

"no, they coming up tomorrow," mum said, smiling.

he and mum were trapped in a small freezing room, snow trapping them in. 

he couldn't believe what just happen, everything was fine then the ground started shaking and then snow was coming right at them. 

if mum didn't pull him in this small room then he would have been swept away by the snow, he thought staring wide-eyed at the door.

he turned to face his mother and froze.

"MUM!" he yelled in horror.

mum was bleeding! there was something sticking out her side! blood was everywhere!

"Shh, shh..everything going to-AHHH!" mum tried to calm him but cried in pain, gripping her belly.

"mum!" he cried, kneeling next to her.  

mum was deadly pale, sweating even though it was freezing in here. 

"Scotty...sweety i-"mum cried in pain again, holding her belly. "i..need you to be brave...okay?"

"Okay mummy," he said nodding, tears running down his cheeks. 

"your..little sibling.." mum cried in pain again. 

his eyes widen as he realises what mum was saying, his baby brother or sister was coming.

"not now!" he cried, shaking his head.

"we don't get a choice.... in the matter sweety..." mum said, wheezing in pain. "neither does your sibling...now i... I need you to be brave"

he nodded, tears freezing on his face. 

he was feeling so many emotions right now, it was overwhelming.

he was feeling so scared, being trapped in this freezing room with his mother who was bleeding out, plus sick to his stomach because...well he just helped his mother give birth to his baby brother, something he thought he would never have to do...in his life.  

but he was also feeling an overwhelming feeling of love and awe.....he was holding his baby brother in his arms! he was so tinny, he thought looking at the wiggling baby in his arms.

"mum look-" he said, smiling despite everything but he froze as he realised something was wrong.

mum wasn't moving...at all.

"mum?" he asked again, his voice shaking with fear, moving so he could see her better while keeping his baby brother close to his chest for warmth. 

her eyes were closed, it almost looked like she was asleep...but she wasn't breathing!

"MUM!" he yelled, shaking her with one arm, the other trying to hold his baby brother, who had started screaming. "mummy! wake up!" he sobbed, "wake up..."

he sat there sobbing for ages, it was only when his baby brother stopped crying that he realised that if he didn't get his brother warm, he was going to lose him too and he could not bear to lose another person, even one he just met...but he already loved his baby brother to the moon and back.

he pulled mum's thermal jumper off of her, telling himself that she didn't need it now, that she would want him to save his baby brother.

he wrapped it around his brother, holding him close to his chest.

his baby brother was whimpering.

"Shhh, shh it..it's okay baby brother...i..i got you," he said, trying to talk without sobbing.

his baby brother didn't even have a name that he could call him...except......

"i...I got you...Allie" he said, choking on the last word.

"we'll... get out of here and i... I promise that you'll be so..so loved..." he said, tears running down his cheeks. "and..and protected, oh Allie... I promise I'll keep you safe.." 

I'll keep all of them safe, he thought looking at his mother's body. I promise you, mum, I'll keep my brothers safe.

#alan tracy #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #jeff tracy #lucy tracy #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction

[rainy-days-comfort]

Abused by my first babysitter. When my mom found out and fired her to put me in daycare, she got a job at the daycare I went to. Distinct memories of her not letting me eat and her trying to convince my mom that she bruised me because I stole from a store. When I was 2.

Locked in a closet by my second babysitter's husband. Don't remember if it was a joke or if it was serious. Don't remember for how long. Just remember darkness and fear until he let me out. I remember going somewhere with them, and they put me in the back trunk space of the van with their kids all up in the seats, buckled and safe. I remember their two daughters holding me against the backyard tree and telling me that if I moved they'd hit me. I moved, they hit me. Told me if I could run around the swingset and back in 10 seconds they wouldn't hit me. I couldn't- they hit me. They made me swear or they would hit me, and then told their mom, who washed my mouth out with soap like this was A Christmas Story. But I always wanted to go and play with them, so nobody believed me. I thought that's how older kids played, and I just wanted to have friends. I remember being left outside on really hot days and not allowed to go inside because my babysitter was watching tv and I was too loud and distracting. To this day nobody believes me about that babysitter.

The neighbor's daughter ran me over with a barbie jeep on purpose once. Before my sister decided that she hated me, she chased her down the block to yell at her.

S was my friend. We were on again/off again best friends throughout elementary school. She bullied me relentlessly and mad everybody hate me because I smelled like pee all the time and was too fat to be cool. Every time I tried to stop being friends with her, our moms would call and decide that neither of us were innocent and that we had to stay friends. Every time I tried to retaliate or get away from her, I would get in trouble because I wasn't trying hard enough. She told everyone at school that I wet the bed. She told everyone at school that I was afraid of a preschool show. Neither of those were lies, but she told them what I'd confided in her. She was the first person to tell me to kill myself. She also introduced me to porn at her grandma's house. I was so uncomfortable and scared and not ready, or maybe already traumatized, that I locked myself in the bathroom. It was too late to ask to go home, so I hid in the room and cried until she went to bed.

My sister was supposed to be my friend. And she was, until I started showing symptoms of depression. I remember very clearly the day that she decided she hated me. All my life all I wanted to do was be like her, be cool enough to impress her. But I was just the annoying younger sibling who kept stealing her stuff. If I'd had the words to communicate why back then, I would have told her then that it was only because I loved her and I felt so far from the sister who was closest to my age, despite being 8 years older than me. I remember her banging on the bathroom door, telling me that I was the worst sister ever because I took one of her books. That she wished mom had stopped after having her. That was the first time I tried to kill myself. I couldn't deal with the thought of my biggest role model hating me so much. I sprayed my mom's favorite hairspray into the cap until there was liquid enough to drink, and I drank it. I didn't know what would happen, but I hoped that the chemicals would be enough to kill me. Turns out that I just got a little drunk and sticky and went back to bed after calling off from school. I have another vivid memory of when school got bad. When I wanted to die every day, plotted how to hurt myself while walking the halls... When I called my mom to pick me up. She couldn't get off work, so she sent my sister. I remember her looking at me and telling me to stop telling people when I want to hurt myself. That it was a burden on our mom and that she didn't deserve the pain that I was causing. When she planned her wedding she told me "Oh, I guess I have to invite you". At her bachelorette party she introduced me and our oldest sister as "This is my sister Amber, don't be mean to her or I'll beat you up. This is our youngest sister Megan, you can be mean to her, idc". On my sister's wedding day, I wasn't allowed to stay at the hotel with everyone else after the reception. I had to go to her house and watch her dogs. When she group called everyone with her ultrasound pictures, she left me out of it. I came into the room by chance, nobody told me. She told me that I'm the reason that she hates teenagers. To this day when she leaves she hugs everyone else goodbye but she just punches my arm.

My dad was supposed to love me. I remember him calling me fat and stupid every chance he got as a kid. He refused to lift me to put the star on top of the Christmas tree and made comments like "Well maybe if you stopped eating so many damn candy bars" to a 6 year old. "He was abusive to us," my sister's told me, "You got it easy because you were his kid. You were lucky.". I was lucky to be screamed at and hit in front of my friends. I was lucky to be forced to be berated and told to go away constantly. I was lucky to watch him beat the shit out of my dog and threaten me next. I was lucky to hear him scream at my mom. I was lucky. I was lucky. When my parents split I thought he'd want to see me more. He saw me once every three weeks. I vividly remember him telling me that he brought me food but I wasn't allowed to bring anything home for my mom because "She can starve to death for all I care". Once he got married how often we saw each other changed to once every month. He didn't even tell me that they were moving to Florida until they were pulling out of the driveway. He just left and didn't even say goodbye. He was supposed to bring me down to see him for my 21st birthday, but he didn't. He never sent me access the tickets, ignored my texts and calls about that, and ignored my texts and calls when my grandpa died. My grandpa, who had been my only father figure while he was out playing house with his new family. When confronted he said that I was "A grown ass woman" and didn't need him to hold my hand. I don't know why I expected anything more. I don't know why I hoped he would love me somehow.

I watched my grandpa die. Every day I watched him die. When we found out he had lung cancer and wouldn't be able to take care of my grandma anymore, I volunteered to quit my job and become their caregiver. My grandpa had always been my dad. He picked me up from school when things were rough and took me to get ice cream. He listened to my problems and offered advice and bad jokes to make me smile. He was always doing something, always trying to be helpful. He was the best man I ever knew, and I wanted to pay him back somehow. So I got certified to be a home health aide and I took care of him and my grandma. I took care of falls, accidents, long nights awake trying to convince him to go to the hospital because his oxygen level was dropping so much. He was stubborn. He was so sick, but he wanted to run church services anyway. He needed me to help with the audio because he knew nothing about it. So I was his caregiver, and his tech support. We spent hours working on church together. I hated it, but it was his passion so we did it together. I convinced him to go to the hospital in his last night home. I called 911 for the first time. I drove my grandma up to be with him. He called all of us up to the hospital so that he could say goodbye. I held his hand and sang his favorite hymn to him. I told him that heaven would be lucky to have him. I thanked him for putting the father in grandfather. I couldn't thank him enough for loving me and being what I never had. I still think about how I was the last to go in. How I joked "All these tears, you'd think someone's dying in here". I think about how every time we passed the funeral home he'd say "People are just dying to get in there, y'know", and that's the same funeral home we had his service at. I think about him hugging me when I was overwhelmed with caregiving and saying that he needed me. That was the only time I'd ever seen my grandpa cry. Losing him was the hardest thing I've ever gone through and I never let myself cry. I couldn't. I was the only one in the family who couldn't, because I wanted to stay strong for all of them. They needed a rock and I... Wanted to be that. Even still that pain sits with me. And listening to my aunt tell me the story of how she slit her wrists and sat in the bathtub, wondering why this had to happen. I was the confident. I was everyone's emotional dumping ground.

This... Isn't even half of what's on my mind. This is just the beginning.

#long post #Rain's fucked up trauma time

[jflashandclash]

Attrition of Peace

Nineteen: Kalypso

Don’t Tick Off Grandpas With Assumed Firearms

 All the weapons were accountable in the Paxmobile, though it looked like someone had tidied up. The van normally looked like a trashier version of the Mystery Machine, with benches lining both walls, a trunk behind the passenger seat and two bins of broken metal behind the driver’s seat. There were new, fancier cushions on the benches in the back.

Every weapon seemed to sparkle in the racks along the van walls. Axel said someone had oiled and sharpened all of them. He touched the boomerang and throwing stick beside the bolas, muttering something about proper treatment. Even the Pax boys’ shirts, which were normally strewn on the floor in dirty piles, were neatly washed and stacked beside the benches.

Kally found her messenger bag inside, beside a pile of clothing. Something in her almost broke when she saw the raggedy, torn fabric. Mr. Paine’s golden Argonaut statue was in the main pocket, seeming to wave at her in annoyance. Don’t lose me again.

Mostly, she was relieved to see her notebook. Hazel had given her one to write in at Camp Jupiter, but she’d felt like a piece of her past had been eviscerated upon losing all her story ideas and notes about the last few months.

To her horror, though, she found someone must have read it. When she flipped through, she found grammar corrections in dark green ink in the margins and notes that answered any of the questions she’d jotted down about mythology. Whoever wrote them seemed unabashed by the invasion of privacy until one of her tear streaked pages. Her own handwriting glared at her from off the page, asking, like she’d been wondering for months, Did Apollo rape my mother?

Underneath the single question, in the neat green handwriting, was a note that read, I’m sorry for the intrusion. I hope you find the answers you want, and that you can do what whatever action those answers require.

That was the last of the green ink.

Kally tried not to cry. She felt her eyes and cheeks burn.

The slam of a trunk distracted her. Axel exhaled, “The helmets are gone. We need to go inside.”

Calex had stopped his questioning when he went over to greet Vinyl. The unicorn ignored him (and Merry) with masterful indifference. Euna stood outside while Kally sat on the edge and Axel and Pax explored.

Now, Calex frowned, walked over, and adjusted Merry in his arms. “Those helmets were bad news, mate. Something is amiss here. How did the Paxmobile wind up here anyway?”

“Mattias programmed it with a feature to ‘go home’ if we got separated,” Axel answered, hopping out from the back.

“Have you been here before?” Euna grumbled, glaring at the driveway like she could explode it into grass. Kally frowned. Euna probably could with her last two god droplets.

Pax jumped out at Axel’s side. Both shook their heads, glancing at the pathway to the front door. The recognition and excitement in their eyes told otherwise.

Pax popped his cheeks. He ruffled his overgrown fauxhawk, withdrew a small pithos pendent from under his shirt so it was on display, and then adjusted his utility belt. He opened and shut his mouth, and popped his cheeks again, more jittery than a bookstore cash register the day a Riordan book was released.

“Do I look okay? I mean, after what happened—what if—” Pax started, but Axel ruffled his hair and took a step onto the house’s walkway.

Calex looked horrified at Pax’s uncharacteristic concern. “Oh gods, what’s wrong with him?”

Kally didn’t know. She’d never seen Pax like this. He stepped up the house’s walkway in a sort of trance, mindlessly fingering items on his utility belt. The weasels hopped around his and Axel’s feet as they stopped at the floor mat outside the door. Baller phased in and out of the wood, like he was waiting for the others to join him.

Kally jumped off the edge of the van, taking her messenger bag with her. She had to debate on shutting the doors, since she felt like the slam would shatter the Pax boys’ weird hypnosis. Finally, she shut the doors as quietly as she could. She, Calex with Merry in tow, and Euna warily followed after the boys.

“Who lives here?” Euna asked.

“Not sure,” Axel said, examining the peephole in the wooden door. “It could be a trap, but…” He turned to give them a huge grin. “I think it’s one of our old friends.”

Pax’s hand violently shook as he reached out and knocked in a short rhythm of one beat, four fast beats, and two slower beats.

Kally wasn’t sure what she was expecting. A monster? A Titan? Some super badass demigod with a lightsaber?

She certainly wasn’t expecting a grumpy, middle-aged gentleman to open the door with a scowl on his face. He scanned them with the ferocity of someone who could rip your brain out with telekinesis, flip it over to read everything about you, and shove it in with utter disinterest and the mild irritation of time poorly wasted.  

Both Axel and Pax jumped backwards.

The weasels darted in. The man didn’t seem to notice.

“Children,” he growled. “It’s a bit late to be selling cookies. Go home before I call the cops on you for trespassing.” One of his hands lingered behind the door, like he had a phone ready.

Opposite his anger, Kally could hear the gentle strumming of a stringed instrument inside. The rift was melodious, tragic, and beautiful.

Axel swallowed. His jaw had dropped. “You—you—you’re Dr. Howard Claymore!” he exclaimed in a way that told everyone he’d never met this man but had always wanted to. “Your works in atheism, agnosticism, the afterlife, and, science are—how you discuss their use to subjugate—I mean—the most recent release on your post-mortem notes about Road to Death…” Axel trailed off, seeming to realize something he said didn’t line up.

All of them stared at Axel.

Axel sheepishly coughed into one hand.

If possible, the man’s scowl deepened. “God is real, kid, and so is Santa,” he said bitterly and slammed the door shut.

They shared a moment of confused silence.

Pax glared at Axel. “You sounded more fanboyish than Calex seeing Annabeth do homework.”

“Hey,” Calex snapped. “Annabeth is brilliant. Now who was that bloke?”

“You ask ‘em, teddy bear,” Merry mutter sleepily from his arms.

Euna sighed and stared off at their surroundings. She placed a careful hand on top of Backbiter’s pommel.

Axel shrugged, flustered. “Sorry, he’s an author that Alabaster got me really into who’s really good at pointing out how institutions are used to violate the rights of—that’s not important—”

Pax rolled his eyes and knocked on the door again.

Kally assumed the man would yell at them to go away. She felt the sheer fight-or-flight of embarrassment at having the wrong house. But the door immediately swung open again.

This time, Claymore seemed enraged. Seeing the fury in his gaze, she felt like this man held more than a cell phone on the other side of the door and that finding cover would be wise. She resisted the urge to duck behind Calex. “Listen, if you don’t—”

“We’re here for Alabaster,” Pax interrupted.

The man paused. Those fierce eyes examined them thoroughly.

“Tell him… the Triple A Chimera is here for him,” Pax added, popping his cheeks at the end.

“I see,” Claymore said. The anger deflated. After a pause that felt as calculated as a showman’s, he continued, “Wait here.”

Claymore shut the door, much gentler than before.

There was some conversation inside, too soft for Kally to hear. The knob didn’t fully latched. She felt uncomfortable, standing out here in the cold, waiting for the door of a stranger’s house to open a third time, when they should have been rushing off to Camp Half-Blood in the Paxmobile. It suddenly struck her that she doubted the keys had been inside the van. Plus, they still needed somewhere for Euna, Pax, and Axel to hide out until they figured out what to do.

If Pax hadn’t been agitated earlier, his fingers danced across his utility belt now. He rocked back and forth absently until Axel put a hand on his shoulder. “The Triple A Chimera is here for him?” Axel asked.

Kally could hear Pax’s grin as he said, “Oh, come on. He couldn’t have lost his humor completely since we last saw him.”

The door lurched open.

Kally gasped and reflexively gripped her Argonaut statue.

A tall brunette teen had a handgun aimed at Pax’s head. His fingers shook violently. “Hands up and back up,” he commanded. Though his freckled face looked determined, his voice cracked.  

Pax yelped, went rigid, and put his hands up. Tears welled in his eyes as he cried, “Cho! Can people I love please stop aiming guns at my head?!”

Much slower, Axel put his hands in the air. The carefree anticipation had evaporated. His gaze narrowed. As subtly as he could, he glanced back at Kally and Euna.

She hadn’t realized it, but she’d pulled the Argonaut statue halfway out of her messenger bag. Euna gripped her xiphos. Calex swallowed while looking unhelpfully down at Merry, like he didn’t know how to inform this guy that he couldn’t put his “hands up.”

For a sickening instant, Kally could perfectly picture Kouta, Pax’s eldest brother, stepping out of a shack in California with a gun aimed at Pax. That’s how they’d ended up in Santiago’s temple. That’s how Joey ended up dying.

Last time, they’d listened to Axel and stood down.

This time, Kally wasn’t going to listen to Axel if he told them to stand down.

“Alabaster,” Axel said the name like each syllable was weighed down by a landmine, “Put—”

“Shut up, Axel,” the boy snarled. “I don’t know how the Romans twisted you into doing this but, I want you off my property right now. I can see your little van of reinforcements at the end of the cul-de-sac. Take them and get out of here.”

In the silhouetted porch lighting, Kally couldn’t quite tell, but Alabaster’s face seemed sickly pale. He looked scared. Maybe not scared… hurt.

“We’re not Roman,” Euna stated. Although Kally didn’t dare another glance over, she had a feeling Euna meant that as a confused statement more than a diplomatic one.

Kally wondered why—

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for you flipping your shirts inside out?” Alabaster demanded. “A Cyclops could still tell those say SPQR on the other side.”

Everyone but Merry glanced down at their purple clothing.

Kally had forgotten about their shirts.

“Actually, funny story—” Pax started.

“Shut it, Ajax,” Alabaster snapped. “I don’t want any of your circular half-truths.”

Kally dug her fingers into the Argonaut statue. She got the vibe that Alabaster didn’t want to shoot any of them. He didn’t have the queer malice of Kouta. He wanted to avoid a fight. Their intentions did look bad. If he was from Kronos’ army and all the Romans wanted to kill those people and they’d come in Roman uniform with the weapons they grabbed from the van…

Kally cleared her throat. When she spoke, her voice shook quietly, but she tried to sound firm. “A-Axel, Pax, let’s leave. We don’t need the van.”

Or someone else to get shot.

Alabaster’s eyes flicked to her messenger bag, up to her face, then back to Pax. “Is she a charm speaker?” he asked.

Axel sighed. “N—”

“I didn’t ask you. You’d lie about your chiich’s grave if it suited you,” Alabaster said, with, from what Kally heard in the voice, intent to insult.

Axel glowered.

“If she is a charm speaker, she’s clearly a really bad one,” Pax half-joked through tears.

“Speak directly,” Alabaster ordered.

Pax stared at Alabaster for a beat of tense silence. Another tear dripped off his chin onto his shirt to make a darkened wet patch. The hands he had in the air sagged down a few inches and his shoulder slumped. “She is not a charm speaker,” Pax said. “She’s a daughter of Apollo’s Greek aspect.”

Kally and Calex stared at Pax. Whatever magic children of Hecate knew must have been powerful stuff to make Pax answer a question directly.

Alabaster’s eyes widened, like what Pax said made him nervous. He glanced back into the house for a split second before refocusing his gaze on Pax.

“We’re not here to arrest you or hurt you or steal your Reese’s Sticks,” Pax finished. He bit his lower lip, trying not to sob.

Axel popped his cheeks.

Alabaster frowned. Although he still trembled, he slowly lowered his handgun.

As soon as the point was aimed at the floor mat, Axel bolted forward and slammed into him.

Kally waited to hear the gun go off.

 Beta notes from Editor Mel: THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT THIS WOULD TURN OUT JACK!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HURT! DO NOT HARM THE SQUISHY ALABASTER!

Author notes:Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! You’re about to read one of my favorite introductions next week in The Witch Boy and the Guitar-Wielding Maniac, where the book picks up a slightly different tone. I hope you liked Son of Magic by Haley Riordan as much as I did and are excited to get more of Alabaster!

#The Attrition of Peace #PJO #HOO #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #Traitors of Olympus #fanfiction #Axel #Pax #Kally #Euna #Calex #Vinyl #Luke the Golden Ass! #Claymore #Alabaster #WEASELS!!!! #Pax at gunpoint.... *sighs* again

[sflisa]

The Hills are Alive

We celebrated my 10th birthday in a motel room on Tejon Street; Mom reminded me yesterday that both boys were sick with a virus after we arrived in Colorado Springs, so that must have been really rough on her, trapped in the room with the three of us for a few days before our moving van arrived so we could move in to our new house.  I was a mess, so sad to have left New Jersey, and eager to see the new place, which I was convinced backed up straight against the mountains.  It didn’t.  It didn’t have a lawn, there were barely any trees, and tumbleweed everywhere.  Next to us though, was a piñon-covered hill, with sandstone outcroppings that invited exploration and climbing, which we did, almost every day.  Yucca and paintbrush everywhere.  There were caves, and tower-like structures, we buried treasure, took picnics; it was where I ran away from home to when things got stormy, so, in effect, it was like the mountains were in the backyard after all.  You could see out over the entire city from the top of one of the rocks.  It was glorious.  You can also see the city from the top of Pike’s Peak...Oh Beautiful, for Spacious Skies, for sure.  Suzanne came and visited from NJ - it was great to see her, and I haven’t had contact with her since.  My grandmother came for one of the first Easters.

School was really rough at the beginning - being the new kid at 10 years old, or anytime, probably, is hard stuff.  No friends, and the girls in my neighborhood that were in my class were not buddy material for me.  They were mean, gossipy, troublemakers, and we had no common interests.  There were, over time, a few girls on our street who I hung out with, and who invited me to ride horses with them a couple of times; I didn’t have a horse, and wisely, my parents said no to that idea.  They did, however, provide me with riding lessons, and Dad and I would go out to Palmer Park and ride at the stables there from time to time.  It was a love-hate thing with me and the horses - stable horses are stubborn and I didn’t like their general unresponsiveness, and it could prove problematic if you didn’t want to run like the wind back to the stable.  You did anyway - that horse was hungry and tired.

So life in Colorado Springs got underway - I met my new class, a combined 5th and 4th grade; don’t remember much except I was not listening to the radio yet so much, and the kids couldn’t figure out why I didn’t know the Top 40.  We had swimming and tennis lessons in the summers; we joined, and Mom eventually led, Girl Scout troop 135, which led to Girl Scout Camp again in the summers, which I absolutely loved, and was the source of a few more buddies moving forward.  We drove to Disneyland when I was 14.  Best quote from that trip is from Bob:  “It won’t be smoggy in Disneyland - it’s the Happiest Place on Earth!”  

I learned to ski, went fishing in the mountains with Dad.  We went on a trip to the Tetons (we must have had a really rough day the day the photo below was taken - even though we aren’t smiling, it’s one of my favorites - makes me laugh now, because I’ve had those moments as a parent, for sure!

Grandparents came and went for visits and extended stays.  My paternal Grandpa who had lived with us for awhile in NJ came and stayed for a few months.  He taught me to play two-handed pinochle, and we played for hours which turned into days into weeks.  It was fun, and the only thing I remember him doing, except maybe reading.  I volunteered as a candy striper at the hospital Dad eventually ran; always liked to kid him about getting there first and paving the way for his eventual success!

At Washington Irving Junior High, I finally stopped crying and being sad about not being in NJ anymore.  I met Elaine, Karen, Jack, Gail and Aimee and we had a tribe.  We did things together after school, met up in the cafeteria at lunch, went to the movies, did all the things you’re supposed to do.  I got a 12 speed bike and the neighborhood opened up a bit more and I was back to getting myself places (not everywhere - streets were much busier and I was not allowed) on the bike.  And then, in 8th grade, there was a new music teacher and there was a choir.  I joined it - late - in the later fall and we started working on Carol of the Bells.  Now that I’m a music teacher, I understand I was not unique in encountering that as a first piece that served as an addiction mechanism!  I probably drove my entire family crazy singing that thing over and over and over (and that’s what it is, the same thing over and over inside of it) (and I get payback every year from my own students...) but that got me reconnected to choral singing.  I auditioned for and was accepted to the madrigal group as well.  I joined a church choir too, and I think in 9th or early high school I started voice lessons.  Jack joined the madrigals after I did, he told me later it wasn’t so much about the singing - he wanted to do things with me.  He took me to the Cherry Blossom Dance in 8th or 9th grade-his mom drove us.  My first actual date.  Mom made the dress.

After being dropped off at high school the first day and being cautioned by mom not to get knifed- she actually said, “Don’t get knifed...”, high school eventually meant more singing, an actual music theory class that I had to get to school by 7:00 to take, then madrigals, all before the school day even started.  There was Girls’ Choir, and Mixed Choir too, French Club, Model UN, hijinks in the library, cramming all of us into Jack’s Datsun to go McDonalds for lunch, running for Student Council, many dances, being a counselor at High Trails Outdoor Education Center.  In my senior year, there was a teacher’s strike and I filled in as the choir director under the supervision of a parent who lived in the neighborhood.  She taught me the basics of conducting and there’s a photo of me somewhere, maybe in the yearbook, conducting the choir in the classroom.  The strike resolved, and I didn’t get to conduct the concert, but the future would more than make up for that.  

Mom and Dad threw a surprise 16th birthday party which was so much fun; I went to junior prom with Jack; senior prom with Stan who was a real jerk.  I was trying to be cool and go with a football player.  Mistake.

I auditioned and was placed in the All-State Choir in the spring of 1976.  If I hadn’t been a choral enthusiast yet, that would have done it - it was absolutely the coolest thing I had ever done.  As a member of that choir, I was also invited to audition for “America’s Youth in Concert” - a tour group that took a 2 week-if-it’s-Tuesday-it must-be-Belgium approach to European concertizing.  I stuffed the flyer in my algebra book, and mom found it and insisted I send in a tape.  I got in, and enjoyed a wonderful trip to Pennsylvania in the summer of 1976, celebrating 200 years in Liberty Square, followed by a tour to Rome, Venice, Florence, Innsbruck, Paris, London.  We sang in the Pantheon, Notre Dame, Albert Hall.  Unbelievable. I recently got back in touch with a few of the kids on that tour through Facebook.  They are all still singing too.

Then it was time to go on to college.  I decided to major in music and English, problem was I had many interests, for a time I wanted to work for the Park Service as a Ranger (still do, and it is in my retirement plan to be a Ranger-Art Docent at the Presidio!) but music was the thing that got me into and paying for college.  At the University of Denver, I attempted to double major in a bunch of different things, but a music degree does not let you do that in 4 years, so I exited DU with a degree in Voice Performance, just so I could get out of there finally and move on.  I did not get great career planning support from either the music school or the university, and was a bit entwined in some not-terrible-but-not-exactly-focused distractions from what I was actually in school to accomplish.  That’s a subject for a book, not this post, and I may actually get to that at some point if I decide it could be helpful to someone else.  Lots of mistakes made out of raw naivety and blind trust.

Tomorrow I’ll pick up in college, as by the time I was 20, college started being more college-like.  

[dreamsanddreams88]

Dream dump

Super messed up dream where alex cheated with my mom!!! She was gone for a trip and came back and admitted it to me like it was an accident. My dad didnt care. Also alex had just become my step brother or step cousin cuz his dad got married to like my aunt? Anyway I worked with jenn and izzy and they knew. I ate a bag if chex mix and yelled at them.

Matt n anne had reception or wedding, family was super rude af so he told me to make thank you notes only for specific people. Then I was in Little witch academia, brooms were malfunctioning because they were made by Elon Musk. We left his mansion and flew around under these power poles that were arcing and letting off electricity. I was in the forest and ran down this steep hill with dead and falling trees in the night. I ran to the work lockup and homeless guys started appearing and following me, flew away on my broom.

Was staying at this haunted old mansion. My mom might have used to live there? I was in a room with 3 fireplaces going, tried to put them out. Then in bathroom when a door to the laundry kept opening by itself, very creepy. Then I was there with a whole class, everyone had submitted a drawing of a bio of themselves but no one told me cuz hadn't worked with a group. One girl there I was really jealous of, she was like Linnea and Tedi combined. Her drawing was of her with a black person saying stuff about equality, but her bio also said she was a cheerleader so I was like, that's how shes so good at being social

Dreamed I had been moved into a group home cuz of mental health, but then got into some school or university with some elite girl dorm or sorority? Idk I went from one group in a nice house to a really big group in dorm style room with bunk beds. Girls were all really cool, Kaitlyn corkery was there and didnt remember me. Thought she was gonna be stuck up but she wanted to hang out. Went to some event or meal, lots of people drunk, maybe it was winter with ice skating? Brought Alex's skateboard. Courtney anderson got kicked out of our group, tried to be soothing but she was reading one of my cover letters and crying that she didnt have the experience.

Dreamed I was still dating elliot but wanted to dump him for alex, but I was also flirting/making out w Nina who was also Jennifer Lawrence at the same time? I felt really shitty and hadn't spoken to eliot for days and days, also Sirius black was his godfather and had just died. Went to the Porters house which was this big historic place everyone hung out. Then was looking for bats and a camping spot with work crew. Wanted to drive to moquoketa caves but it was late at night. Texted olivia hottle about her being pregnant all the time? Also Lauren showed up and was trying to show me something or be a nice sister to me

I was in a book store looking at the manga and comics and there was huge section on aadams family, apparently started in 20s by same guy as Opus? First book had goth lady dating a cute penguin, named Alice Walker. Movie made about it, she was Greek orthodox and family was mad she was wearing socks instead of hose, then woke up

Tourmaline came over, she forgot my name. Had asked someone 2 sing her a lullaby on FB and I almost did but then mad she forgot my name. She went by They also, forgot when introducing her to parents. She started making hot dogs in our kitchen, burnt them in oven. Smthn bout Davin being my step grandpa somehow? Then at this family reunion, big neighbors house was a muppet face that talked. King bumi was there testing our bending, I was the avatar but didnt know firebending yet, dodged him with water and air. He threw rocks and kids tried to find them, I knew he was gonna hang onto one. Let a little toddler have it instead and win his contest. Then back in high school at lunch, everyone outside. Couldn't find friends, saw Nate and elliot doing hackey sack but didnt want to be around them. Went looking for allison Richmond?

Rly scary, ppl were in black mirror-esque simulation where I kept dying but could come back to choose different choice and keep going. Mine was at reunion party with Ellen, not eating weird toadstool. Alex was in a mansion party, people there drank this mix of sodas that turned them into fast zombies, his doc warned him to hide but they found him in a few different places. In one, he found vaccine to it and put a boy to sleep, I thought syringe was poison and he was gonna shoot him but it was a vaccine and alex and bay kept running thru the house to hide. I got caught by little kid with bloody eyes, tried to stab him but he didnt care. Cello music happening, slow motion. Also smthn bout trying to find a different desktop pic cuz mine had Mike in it even tho alex didnt know that was him, all my other pics were old ones with me and elliot in high school and my hair was short and flipped out at the bottom, looked really bad. Then zombie dream continued after waking up n sleeping again, I was young teen with bunch of others and my parents, stormy night, we were travelling to that mansion and I was trying to warn everyone to hide cuz no one knew about the zombies. Then was on weird spiderman themed waterpark ride, somebody in costume yanked my hair as I was going down slide, got really mad but couldn't find them afterwards because everyone was in spiderman costumes

Dreamed I was camping 4 work again on the steep trail at elwha dam. There was a deep cave I didnt go into. We were leaving and I had all this laundry to do. Then went to alex's mom or dad house, brad was there and also elliot. He kept telling me I had to sleep with him because we were still dating, but I knew he had gotten married cuz jenna went to the wedding and took pics. Also something with Charlotte and her friend, they were leaving school for the summer and stole sheet music cuz they both played violin, and no one was allowed to keep the music? I was jealous that she played violin

Dreamed all these women who were friends got really fucked up on drugs and jumped off a balcony at a church and died. The last one looked kinda like america ferrera and she stopped and saw them below her and froze up until someone rescued her. Really sad, I was one of the friends I guess. We were on a trip together and like 3 of us lived, it was just a 3 day weekend trip. Was avoiding talking about them, went swimming naked in this creek in a forest but some guys and their kids showed up so I had to sneak out. Everyone reminiscing about women who died, one was that actress the mom from EASY A. She always told jokes about her super grip strength, was really funny. America ferrera was friends with this woman who was huge like andre the giant, her head was ENORMOUS. Then was being driven home by this lady on a weird car/train hybrid, we were careening along this track like flying in the air at times. Stopped in the forest, then the vehicle became more like an excavator

Was in van outside mall, got held up by Lora and her sister and mom, they had guns and ordered everyone out. I had a gun hidden and I headshot both sisters and tell their mom to put her weapon down. Then standing in circle with lotr cast, we had just ended filming? Was holding pinkies with sean astin and viggo, both being very flirty. Then was camping with alex n his family, we all had our own cars. Me n him left to go bone somewhere private, run into a wild boar and her babies. I climb up onto a random bookshelf, but she climbs using her mouth. I flatten her under a huge book and I have a knife but cuts do no damage. I knock her off the shelf but then alex is still on the ground, then I woke up

Was working as a reporter for Rebecca from NOSC but it was at a college. Kept reminding everyone that women dont make as much money, was gonna research n report about it with all the women at the school. Trying to play computer game and Rebecca got mad I didnt have enough work, said I was gonna report about rush Limbaugh and how some whole govt branch he was in was rigged and set people up to fail, rebecca got really excited but I was worried cuz I didnt know amything about politics

On lake w my mom, she could sing like Elsa n it was echoing on the water. Then funeral procession went across with floating coffin n bowling alley stuff, lady who owned bowling alley had died. I started crying pretty hard even tho I didnt know her. Smthn bout going back to ecos, or I had volunteered there for a season. Then was being chased down by people cuz they wanted to execute me and another person. Daniel had heard of the zodiac killer when he was a kid

Dreamed olivia hill betrayed me. Her family worked for a bridal photo company n I was in this big room looked kinda like church, she had acted all nice to me and then did something horrible, idr what, and gleefully gave this evil speech about how she fooled me and actually hated my guts. I might have punched her? I did tell her I always hated her shitty mom, and that's why she probably betrayed me. Also smthn about working for the tribe again with kenzie and allyce doing swamp science

Me n alex trying to move to iowa, thinkin bout what friends I have left in either place. Smthn before that too idr

[elby-manga-addicted]

Tag Questionnaire!

Tagged by: @the-frustrated-muggleborn

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Coke

2. Disney or Dreamworks: I CANT. CHOOSE.

3. Coffee or tea: Tea

4. Books or movies: books, even though movies can have amazing visuals and music, the fact that you can choose how to imagine the much richer story in a book wins me over :p

5. Windows or mac: Windows, duh!

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel

7. X-box or Playstation: I don’t have either, but I think that what I used to play on at my cousin’s house was a Playstation, so...

8. Dragon age or Mass effect: YOU EXPECT ME TO CHOOSE??! I suppose I’ve played dragon age a lot more hours than mass effect but that’s just because Mass Effect is so heavy on my emotions... In terms of story, worldbuilding and characters I literally could never choose between these two! D:

9. Night owl or early riser: Night owl, hoot hoot!

10. Cards or chess: I’ve always liked the aesthetic of chess but even though my brother once tried to teach me, I couldn’t play it to save my life, so... cards! XD

11. Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

12. Vans or converse: Converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: I’ll have to go with Adaar because qunari are just too cool and I was beyond excited to hear we’d get to play as one :3

14. Fluff or angst: Angst with fluff on the end. I won’t settle for one without the other!

15. Beach or forest: Forest

16. Dogs or cats: CATS!!! I love dogs too, but nothing can ever beat cats :p

17. Clear skies or rain: depends... If the sky is truly clear then I prefer that, but if there are clouds that are reflecting the sun I’d like dark rainclouds better. (Because I’m super sensitive to light and get migraines from white skies D: )

18. Cooking or eating out: cooking

19. Spicy food or mild food: mild food

20. Halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Christmas!

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Too cold, then I’d have an excuse to cover myself in blankets 24/7!

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: stopping time for everyone except myself. God knows I could use more time.

23. Animation or live action: as an animation student I feel obligated to say animation XD

24. Paragon or renegade: I’m like... 80% paragon but when my morals are challenged I can turn full on renegade.

25. Baths or showers: Showers

26. Team cap or team ironman: Team cap

27. Fantasy or sci-fi: FANTASY IS LOVE, FANTASY IS LIFE.

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: “No one is you and that’s your power” -Dave Grohl, “rock bottom became the solid foundation upon which I rebuilt my life” -J.K. Rowling,  “ When the last tree is cut, the last fish is caught, and the last river is polluted; when to breathe the air is sickening, you will realize, too late, that wealth is not in bank accounts and that you can’t eat money.” - Alanis Obomsawin,  “I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" Death thought about it. CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.” -Terry Pratchett

29. Youtube or netflix: Youtube (I do wish I had netflix though...)

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter

31. When you feel accomplished: When I’ve made strides towards my ambitions and have something to show for it.

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Another impossible choice! Star Trek is so nostalgic for me and it always reminds me of quality time spent with my family, but Star Wars is more actively present in my life right now...

33. Paperback books or hardback books: Hardback! They’re not at all as practical as paperbacks but OH MY GOD THE AESTHETIC! It’s so satisfying to hold those books~

34. Horror or rom-com: rom-com! (when will I be able to see queer romcoms???)

35. TV shows or movies: I’m gonna go with tv shows, there’s more to savour and usually more in-depth storylines and characters.

36. Favorite animal: CATS. After that tigers, pandas, butterflies and possibly squids. I’m also quite fond of majestic birds like peacocks, ostriches, eagles and small ones like nightingales :3

37. Favorite genre of music: uhhh my taste in music is so widespread and random! I love some punk, some pop, some metal, a lot of soundtracks and instrumental music and kpop as well!

38. Least favorite book: “Geen wonder dat moeder met de goudvissen praat” by Ed Franck and equally horrible is “Doornroosje’s honden” bij Willy Spillebeen . I had to read these like 5 years ago for school and I still haven’t gotten over the trauma. (In case you’re wondering, the titles translate to “No Surprise Mother Talks To The Goldfish” and “Sleeping Beauty’s Dogs”. The first is the diary of a teenage boy who’s vulgarly in love with his female teacher and it has the most distasteful illustrations. The Second book is about a little girl who’s mother is in a financially sticky situation and the child is confused about everything and eventually kills herself by taking a dozen of her mother’s sleeping pills so that she can be like sleeping beauty but be awoken by her dad. Both were an absolute pain to read.)

39. Favourite season: winter, but only if it snows. Otherwise autumn. (I mean I like them all but summer is too warm and sunny so it gives me headaches and in spring I sneeze all the time due to hay fever. Sure there’s less animals in the other two and the white clouds give me headaches as well, but it’s pretty and it gets darker doon :p)

40. Song that’s currently stuck in your head: “Shiny”  from Moana XD

41. What kind of pyjama’s do you wear: My Totoro onesie! Or equally fluffy hp PJs. Or when it’s hotter I wear adorable shorts or baggy PJ pants and a top. (I get excited over PJ’s. I have waaayyy to many of them but it just makes me eager to go to bed and it’s so cosy and everything!)

42. How many existential crisis do you have on an average day: Like... 6?

43. If you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: Either “I Was Here” by Beyoncé or “What Do I Know” by Sara Groves

44. Favourite theme song to a TV show: the first Winx Club into!!

45. Harry Potter movies or books: Books! The movies are great but there’s so much depth that they’re missing! And some of the characters are just portrayed completely wrong (*cough* Ginny *cough*)

46. Favorite traditional food from your family: Either fries with roasted chicken and loads of veggies, or the family recipe cake that my mother taught me when I was 5!

47. Favorite decade from 1900-now: Uhhh how should I know? I’ve only lived in 2 decades! :p I suppose the now is best for me since equal rights and mentally ill people are no longer put in asylums and stuff.

48. Worst habit?: Putting off important things because of my anxiety or thinking “oh, I’ll respond to this later” and then never doing it.

49. Teach an old person to use the internet or stay for a week with a kid stuck in the “why” phase?: both could potentially be adorable and loads of fun! So it doesn’t really matter to me. 50. Who’s your favorite painter?: My grandpa! I’ve looked up to him all my life and not a single painter who’s work I’ve encountered in art history or musea can compete! (I’m biased, I know). If I had to choose someone else I’d either say René Magritte, the Van Eyck brothers or Kinko White (If you’re a Tolkien fan and like aquarel paintings, GO LOOK THESE UP!). 51. Favourite flower?: Wisteria and water lilies.

52. Boots or sneakers?: Boots~

53. Abroad or at home?: Home is where the cat is, so HOME.

54. Three places that you want to visit in the world: In this world? Japan, The Niagara Falls and somewhere I can see the northern lights!

My question: 55: If you were immortal and could choose one person to spend eternity with, who’d you choose?: I’d pick my cat!

Tagging: I’m not about to tag 55 people, but I’ll tag a few~

@zuzumi @x-ello-x @leftski @definitelynotclayface @thelargemagellaniccloud @bellatrixstolethetardis @momo-tan @virtualtaleinternet @nathankoekenpan​   @karelopteynde​ @that-one-asexual-fangirl​ @captainthingsandstuff​

(you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to though! I don’t want to pressure

#tagged #long post