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#there's so much wrong w this stupid post and ops other posts I can't even get into it I need to go to eepy
trans-xianxian · 10 months
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this is perhaps thee coldest take I've ever seen,
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demonicintegrity · 2 years
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just wanted to pop in and say that, as a non-ww fan who's been on almost all possible sides of the allegations (been sxually groomed, become codependent on someone w/o their intent, + had sm1 codependent on me w/o my intent), i fully agree w yr take! i get why ppl were/might still be sus due to how the screenshots r presented but even taking all the evidence at face value it doesn't seem "cancel" worthy.
i don't doubt op's feelings + ik how intense it can feel when ur codependent on sm1 but not enough ppl know it can happen w/o the other person cultivating it. ww could have recognized the iffyness of getting involved w a fan in that way + been more understanding of ops mental illness tho often its hard 4 ppl to comprehend how much sm1 else idolizes them esp if they're a small local celeb. it rly seems 2 me like a mutually toxic relationship w real hurt on both ends.
i rly truly feel 4 the op + understand how he was hurt by ww's actions, i hope he can heal n grow from it. it's also so common for ppl w codependent tendencies to feel like they're less at fault for their unhealthy relationships n that's a huge problem that causes these cycles to repeat. but the arguing abt how u can't be groomed if 18+ or a SW (or even naturally tend to be codependent) only hurts real ppl who have been thru it.
i hate 2 see all the victim blaming n debunking n hate toward op! but i think any misrepresentation was a result of his hurt + effect it truly did have on him. ultimately it shouldve stayed private + i find the idea of canceling sm1 due to having an overall unhealthy relationship in the past unsettling. sorry this is so long + thanks 4 putting a sympathetic and logical voice out there!
You’re good nonny, and my thoughts exactly. Op was clearly hurt by this relationship and I will never ever deny him that. I want him to find peace and get better. But how he presented the evidence just doesn’t show any sort of intentional abuse. I’m not saying it’s not possible, the story as he presented it doesn’t even paint Will as that bad of a guy.
I get that Op doesn’t care about listening to Will’s music and it’s more about protecting people from the person, but as I said in the post, the only lesson I gleaned was “watch your codependency and communication issues.” It was never about cancelling, (which is such a stupid fucking fake concept of how consequences are dealt with but that’s a separate discussion.) it was about preventing more hurt and I think that’s a good stand Op is trying to take. A noble one, especially since he opened up during a spiral to do so.
Honestly I think the screenshots of former bandmates saying Will was an asshole holds more weight against his character than Op’s original claims. I still don’t know what exactly my conclusion of it is, because I know nothing about Will’s life let alone his bandmates so I’m still piecing the picture. I put a link to those in the replies of my original post.
I just feel so exceptionally blind and in the dark regarding all this because I have literally only heard Will speak outside of listening to his music once, and that’s because I came across an old stand up clip unintentionally on YouTube. I truly know absolutely nothing about the band as people and that’s why I keep holding my judgments until smth “more concrete” even if realistically these are probably the mostly the evidence will go.
But yea, the absolutely nasty response Op has gotten is awful. It’s partially why I wrote the post, hoping people would learn to have more sympathy for him. I don’t want to assume intentional foul play from him (outside of posting the nude, which is illegal and wrong and unnecessary.) because I know the talks of whether or not said pic was doctored are around, as well as how legitimate the insta convos are and smth about the timeline math. I’m not involving myself in any of that because I am not the person to deduce those kinds of things. For sake of giving Op the benefit of the doubt, I’m assuming this things are legitimate and the slip ups (like how I pointed the change of social media in the post) we’re just genuine human slip ups.
As you said, the derogatory remarks around Op are practically worse the Op’s original claim. Perpetuating an idea that only a certain type of person can experience abuse is very wrong and dangerous. Even I think as the story stands now it wasn’t abuse, I would never say op or anyone in a similar place isn’t capable of being abused. I worry about how that narrative could take off.
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