#this is literally just copied from my rambles at stiff on discord

[angeart]

it’s another life game and turns out, this time they’re linked to someone.

they share pain, life, fate. hearts connected, there’s no other word for it but soulmate.

scar doesn't look for his soulmate. he watches other people find each other, and he remembers how it was in last life. it's a bit too fresh. he thinks he doesn't need a soulmate. or maybe he doesn't deserve one. maybe he doesn't have one? it's wretched. maybe he just needs to find something that makes him happy instead.

 so he chases after an allay and finds his way to cute jellie pandas.

 grian. grian looks at scar in that lake and he doesn't yell nooooo

he just stares, shocked and transfixed. he isn't sure what this means. why is this happening? why is scar bound to him? and why is-

why is it so hard to tell him? why can't scar just notice? why isn't he paying attention, why isn't he searching?

 grian watches scar's back as scar bounces away from him, oblivious.

 and grian thinks it's okay. it hurts, he's insane with worry, but he's biting it down. he gets to build something safe. a food source. something to help them survive.

 because they're a them—a we—even if scar doesn't realise yet.

 grian goes to find him. he finds him surrounded by pandas, and... he needs to tell him.

he needs to tell him, but the words are hard to say. they sound cheesy. they sound false.

maybe he needs to prove it instead. have something to show so that scar can understand.

 so he hurts himself.

he hurts himself to show scar and-

 no, that's not right.

 he hurts scar.

 no.

 he hurts both of them, efficiently in one go.

he's good at that.

 but scar isn't paying attention.

it keeps fraying and straying from grian and-

 scar, please.

 grian does it again.

he does it again, knowing what's coming, familiarising himself with the pain that travels through the invisible bond.

 he does it, and scar is looking this time, and-

 "oh."

 they stare at each other.

 grian's heart beats wildly in his chest. he doesn't know what to expect now.

in one lifetime, he killed scar. in another, he isolated him.

he doesn't want to do those things anymore.

 this time, they die together.

this time, there's no hurting one without hurting the other.

this time...

 this time, grian thinks and holds onto it like a lifeline.

 he wants to do better.

 "it's you," scar breathes out finally, disbelieving tone sneaking into his words.

 "it's me," grian confirms, queasy, his words wobbly around the edges.

 he has apologies he wants to say.

they don't make it out.

 but scar doesn't need them.

 scar steps forward and gingerly touches grian's jaw, fingertips sliding up to his cheek. his fingers are warm, fingertips pulsating slightly with rapid heartbeat. "it's us," scar corrects both of them, easily, as if everything just slotted together without a fight, without a struggle, without the burdens of previous lives and pain and trauma.

 "it's us," grian repeats, a little bit choked. he closes his eyes and leans into scar's touch. "we'll get through it together this time," he promises. no deathmatch. no abandoning each other. they're in this together.

#this is literally just copied from my rambles at stiff on discord #fixing DL #listen i need them to be soulmates but properly #ange writes #this isn't really drabble shaped it's literally just a ramble #i needed to get it out #i'll tack an AU on this because there might be more #fixing dl au #scarian #trafficshipping