#this permance really was something

[sound-and-vision-inspiration]

230225 Apo - Stand by หล่อ | KinnPorscheWorldTour2023 #KPWTBKK2023 #TheL...

Obviously this is my absolute favourite version of Stand by Lor - sung so delightfully by Apo 😍

#apo nattawin #KinnPorsche what the fun tour #kinnporche the series #KinnPorsche tour #this permance really was something #song reference

[golbrocklovely]

letting you know this that shifting anon! i tagged you in my post because it’s too much for the ask box 😭

sorry for not responding sooner. i had a crazy day at work and was just super tired haha

i'm gonna respond to your post here instead of in replies or a reblog.

so when i was in school, i was able to get my work done on time. i'm kinda worse now with time management, but if i know i have to get something done, i'll get it done by the date it needs to be done at. even if that means struggling the whole time to get it done fast enough lol

idk what types of flowers they were, and having been on that campus (at that point) almost four years, they NEVER died like that before. and there's no way someone burned it without there being some form of message sent out to campus. plus by spring they grew back. so it was just so odd that they all of sudden died when they were alive literally the day before.

to give some slight more background into what i audition for and whatnot, so i audition, back to back days the previous week for a musical and play. the play, i had a gut feeling i wasn't gonna get strictly bc i was the first person sent home lol the musical on the other hand, i went thru callbacks and shit like that so i was a bit confused as to why i didn't even get considered or whatnot. but the director, who was also my advisor, ended up picking her own child and her friends to be in the show. so…. nepotism at it's finest.

and to be a skeptic on my own end: while i don't think it was a manic thing, bc even after i graduated and really sat with the fact i wasn't gonna have another show or two to add to my name, i still really wasn't upset about it. it was weird as hell how pippy skippy i became after getting the news when 10/10 times i usually would be upset, beat myself up over it, and cry.

but…. it's possible that i realized how lucky i got. bc the play i auditioned for, the director for that i had worked for once. i wasn't in a production, but i was her assistant and then became a stage manager. and let me tell you, that woman did not, at any given point, have her shit together. like, if you feel like your life is messy, you don't even hold a CANDLE to her mess. so i wasn't too heartbroken over not being in that show. then the musical… again, i think it was realizing i didn't have to worry about the director, who was also my advisor… who barely did any advising. i could spend the rest of my senior year in peace and just do whatever i wanted to. i only talked to her once or twice afterwards and that was bc of a senior project i had to do that she graded and passed me on.

my advisor/director, i'm telling you, had object permance problems when it came to me. there had been multiple times when she wouldn't even tell me there were auditions so the night before i would scramble to learn and entirely new song just to go perform it the next day. that happened multiple times. and just to add some more context for fun, her husband was the music director. so he dealt with the music side, she directed the actors. we did a production of into the woods. i auditioned, got callbacks, genuinely thought i had a chance at a major role, only to not get it. and i remember being outside the theater when they were practicing, i think bc i had a class in that same building. he came out, said hi to me, we chatted for a quick second, and then he very softly said to me "i'm sorry you didn't make it in… you should have" or something like that and then walked off.

so….. she might have just hated me for some reason lol so that could be why i was able to be like "you know what, i'm very happy i'm not dealing with you anymore."

but it didn't make sense how quickly i became happy. bc as someone that has suffered with depression since i was kid (and also didn't know i was suffering at the time this took place), happiness is not something that comes easily to me. i can be happy for a brief moment, sure. but i was giddy, and that itself was jarring to me then and still now.

and yeah my mom saying that to me was super creepy but also weirdly comforting. i never found out what was off, but it was just like a general feeling of things feeling out of place somehow.

and oh i didn't know that. i thought shifting was just a sleeping thing. well, that's cool to know :)

#ask #personal

[thingsgotwyrd]

I'm feeling rather contemplative today. This blog was started 11? years ago July when I first felt called by Loki. I was very active for the first couple years and then drifted away. I WOULD have come back when the pandemic first hit but other T platforms sucked me into their realm (tiktok and twitch)

So a quick recap. I finally got my Associate degree (2 year degree) and am now working on the last few courses for my Bachelor's in photography. My kids are teenagers now and I work for a digital marketing company. I've been diagnosed ADHD and learned about object permance (oh boy did that explain a lot) I've also been collecting books and blogs on Hekate for the past year so I was pretty shocked by what happened next.

Late July I suddenly remembered Spongecakegate. I dont remember if something triggered this. For the next 3 days I started seeing social media posts from Lokeans - in places that Loki had not been before. I took these as signs. One was an untagged tiktok that literally said "if you see this, Loki is contacting you" Anyone who knows me or has read this blog before knows that I've been asking for a obvious sign for years

I accepted that I was being god bothered by the new moon and thought that would be it. Now that I think of it the week was full of Loki (and then of course I started a cookie trail by posting/tagging/liking Lokean content so now it's just the algorithm at work.) This though was my 3rd sign and I shouted NO COINCIDENCES when it was published. I posted my freakout on Twitter and changed my username to the same one as my blog to symbolize my paradigm shift.

Umm anyway. I'm rereading posts here because I had accumulated a lot of good information and I've been giving offerings on Fridays. I just think it's really wild that 11ish years nearly to the day I'm back and that I was just in time for the 10th anniversary of Spongecakegate too. 😆

Happy 10th Spongecake Day.

#spongecake day #lokean #loptr #spongecakegate

[frostyreturns]

LMAO Maddox is trying to revive his pathetic online career by getting back to his roots and making videos where he talks about how much better he is than children. Something that stopped being funny when it became obvious he wasn’t really kidding and even less funny now that he’s in his mid forties. 

What’s funny about this video is he tries to show how much better he is than kids by showing how he can do basic cognitive tests designed for children like object permanence....and he fails one of the tests and posts the video not realizing he didn’t understand the test. He’s looking at a child doing the perspective test which is supposed to show that a child of their age doesn’t realize that the testers view of what they see is obscured, the child failed the test by assuming the tester could see what he saw despite it being obscured by a volcano. Maddox thought that pointing out that there was a volcano was how to pass the test. He says over and over there’s a volcano and mocks the child for not getting that there’s a volcano there repeatedly condescendingly pointing out that the child is not noticing one of the objects, and thinks the kid failed by not mentioning it. Not understanding that the volcano wasn’t supposed to be one of the objects observed and the kids failure was in not recognizing differences in visual perspective. 

So congrats for being a guy in his forties who fails cognitive tests for children and then brags about it and pretends his high opinion of himself is satire. But good job on the object permance test though Maddox you nailed it you were right the giraffe was underneath the cloth, good job buddy.

[samwhichsamwithcheseandlettucea]

i need to set this into permance there is sme sort of phenonmonen fllwougn my mother. the original personal used consensus that it was a Me issue that half was somethint that stack overflow from the too many thoughts out of control from the delusioned mind that inhibits my perception and the other half was just the simple fact that we all experience different perceptipnal planes and i was only aware of a plane that others that ive met werent butoncei left the house it did not follow me i do not have these fears in the same way if i do it is excitment and adventure and usually tamet and if anything directef at others instead of what the others dont know about but everytime i return i feel it again and i experience things that i would rather not experience do not fret future me reading this because i know you will forget mostly in the future i am not stress ed now i am in the shower with my nostalgie boner music and found some things to help but in order to go down into the Area once morei wanted to set this occurencein stone for you. The light was on when it wasjt and there is an abbormal amount of tap tap tap tapping and flashing images intoyour projector of tommys dimensional existence exept this wasnt tommy if it was tommy i wouldnt be so scared i wouldve overed him a seat while we watch the highwayvtodether and eveveryrhing because we are in love and i miss his bedside habits. it was fleshy but like almost like the one shy scp that was in the gmod map that one time with caesar but not and without fail it appewred projecting itself into my mind of couree i take mynfrienda advice and chant gods name hoping it would save me, but i still felt it his name had not released him from his term either he mustve done something bad, im misjudging him, or user error. anyways scred like a mouse in a glue trap buried under the weight of Civilization as we know it i run inside humming over qny possiblennoises that mihtplague my ear that could confirm these fewrs. next course of action i continue on my friends line of advice, hes very smart and knows things. so i countinue chanting his holy name and i got about halfway through when the toapping commenced at first i shrugged it as the house settling but it continued at irregular intervals, tapping noises in the world are not uncommon but iregeularones are either this is the next math rock superstar or i am freaking out over nothing. so continuingnto convinve myself it isnothing i try to continure thenchant and it continues as tapping commences from another location

and another

and another

now i a REALLY HUMMAING

Running up the staurs gripping my bag shut hum hum humming lalalala my music in my ears and god in my heart i am very scared and i run to the bathroom my safehouse that is present day wel actually there was one strange thing before i got in the shower, i left the room with theligjt off and now its on, and my room had the same tap. tap. tapping. Now the shower curtains have weird ahadows hut thats probably because its out of the cornr of my eye and i am like a horse in that i get terrified of peripherals q

theres a millipede on my arm n!!

[semperfeminas]

i've decided i'm no longer going to expend energy or emotional labor on relationships that don't enhance & enrich me/my heart/my life. i've been allowing r to be consistently shitty to me as i put my own feelings & needs aside and overempathize while she is rarely considerate or thoughtful or engaged or honest or open or even a little bit consistent. i love her and want her in my life but i just cannot continue to let her jerk me around and use me when it's convenient and feels good for her. so i'm choosing to not reach out to her, and i'm going to tell her all of this the next time she decides she wants me around. i deserve better and it's time i act like it.

#i love her very much and i do want her in my life like she is v important to me #but her complete lack of consideration and the way she just ignores me for weeks? #words mean nothing if ur actions dont align and im too tired to keep making excuses #she's so deeply good in like every way and she's great when she's present but god #it's like she never learned object permance or something lmaolike #her intentions are always good but actions matter and zero effort says u dont care #maybe its the gemini maybe its the venus opposed uranus maybe its the wealth idk #maybe if i yell at her she'll finally understand but like i really truly doubt it so #im just gonna back off. ball's in her court #vs

[onesickfostermother-blog]

We Talked Permancy Yesterday

Yesterday Munchkin said her goal with us is permamcy. When asked how she’d like to achieve that, she said she doesn’t know how, but this is where she wants to stay. Adoption, staying here as a foster child, and SPLC (subsidied permanent legal custodianship. It’s pronounced “splick.”) were all discussed. She hasn’t been here long, only 6 weeks, but when we first met her, we were supposed to be her pre-adoptive foster parents with a goal of adopting her in August.

Since this isn’t a pre-adoptive situation anymore, and it hasn’t been since before she moved it, I know that it’s too soon to talk about permancy. It’s too soon for her. But hearing those words would have knocked me over if I wasn’t already sitting down.

If adoption isn’t ever an option, I really hope SPLC is something we can visit in the future.

#foster care #this is foster care #life with munchkin #foster mom #foster parent #Subsidized Permanent Legal Custodianship #SPLC

[crossfitandcarbs]

I won permancy with my job.

My boss had to fight really hard to make it happen and write an application for me. Meanwhile I had NO idea she was doing it. It's all been a big secret and she told me today. It feels really damn good to have your boss fight so hard for you. (Whilst also being ridiculous that my own boss can't choose who she has work on her site).

So long story short. I have job security for the rest of my life (unless I do something suuuuuper bad to mess it up).

[bookstorethembo]

The suggestion of impermanence really bothers me. Impermanence is a way of life but I like it to be clean cut and understood. It’s the suggestion that bothers me. Or rather, the suggestion of permance, routine, social obligation. I want it spoken into words. Not like a person has to keep a verbal contract and that’s such a childish notion, but I want to know that it was there for real once it’s gone and not just something I played out in my head.