#trb.txt

[theriverbeyond]

foundational griddlehark dynamic is them treating each other not as people but as swords to fall on or lashes to bear. Harrow uses Gideon as her personal instrument of penance never paying mind to if Gideon would want that outside of Harrow's own self flagellatory fantasies. Gideon can only conceptualize Harrow's feelings for her via her own desire-to-be-used and inability to see herself as having any inherent value outside of that use, neither of which is actually rooted in what Harrow truly feels. neither of them even sees herself as a real person and by consequence they don't know how to consider each other as fully formed people who have their own thoughts seperate from what they project outwards onto the other. send post.

#📢 CODEPENDENCY #griddlehark #the locked tomb #tlt thoughts #trb.txt #rotating them....

[theriverbeyond]

just made some BONES :3 (aka I'm finally starting a Harrow cosplay and obviously the rigcage is first. day 1 progress pics and process under the cut)

I have a PLAN for the ribcage, and we shall see if it can come to fruition. if all else fails, I will still have some sick wall art 👍

Pt. 1 is making the sternum, I'm embedding a wire armature for support and also to integrate secure rings-i-can-attach-other-bones-to directly into the bone, to hopefully minimize future cosplay emergencies and malfunctions. I AM making the sternum 3 different articulating bones, because they are important #TO ME

I'm using paper clay (which i have never used before) because I have a very contentious relationship with foam clay and I dislike baking things in my oven (its a very bad oven. and very small). Trying lots of new things so let's see what happens!

Pt 2 is the vertebrae. I want to make a spine that goes down the back over MY spine, so I'm making basically the entire thoracic section, posterior part only as it is like, on my body. Cutting it at the pedicles if you catch my drift. Using wire again for both structural and rings-to-attach-other-bones reasons.

Fun fact, a good way to remember if you are looking at thoracic vertebrae is "does it look like a giraffe?". (lumbar vertebrae look like moose. meese?)

I'm basically making the connection between vertebrae happen at the junction of the articular facets, aka not sculpting those and keeping that part as wire only. I also has a really fun time making vertebrae that *progressed* from T1 to T12, aka from "looks kimda like cervical" to "looks kinda like lumbar". Definitely not perfect but good enough IMO. Yippee!

definitely should have like, considered rib attachment and such when I was making the armature for the vertebrae BUT i forgot. so we ball. I think I will attach them to the main articulating chain and just like... attempt to space it out with jump rings. we shall see if it works.

Next steps are scapulae, clavicles, and ribs. Still sorta unsure how ribs 1-4 ish are going to work due to my arms being in the way but I will figure that out when I get there 👍

#harrow cosplay progress tag #cosplay progress tag #trb.txt #YAYYYYYYY #it is. after midnight. were mistakes made or does this count as studying? #why dont you do arts and crafts for 5 hours and then you will calm down #will be doing butch harrow obviously. bone gremlin supreme

[theriverbeyond]

biggest betrayal of adulthood is that cleaning as u go really is better

#trb.txt #😔 my mother really was right... #cooking. art. the bed. everything.....

[theriverbeyond]

Ideal work schedule:

I show up and am given a list of cognitively engaging but achievable tasks

I complete the list

I leave immedietly

#guy who is getting out of work at 1pm!!!! 📢 #tomorrow is my last day but u have loved this job. i love to leave. #trb.txt #i* have

[theriverbeyond]

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

#trb.txt #me at myself you are NOT ALLOWED to get takeout again this week we have food at home 😭

[theriverbeyond]

companies underestimate how much locking their content behind needing an account will just make me go do something else. oh your website wants me to make an account to view this content? oh your website doesn't show media to logged-out users? okay. i didn't actually want to see it that bad. yeah. bye ✌️

#twitter #trb.txt #websites need to realize that they are not a fandom artist i follow posting cropped art screenshots with a link to a spicy paetrom tier!!! #websites just do not have that draw!!!!! #welcome to me falling asleep posting hour where i empty my entire brain into the internet before falling asleep.

[theriverbeyond]

"kill them with kindness" wrong. bone construct

#harrowhark nonagesimus #cytherea loveday #the locked tomb #trb.txt #x

[theriverbeyond]

[emerging from the hozier song covered in blood] anyway,

#the silly zone... #trb.txt #hozier #unreal unearth

[theriverbeyond]

they need to make more study places for bitches who don't want to expose their back to an open room

#in a diff library than usual today.... prey animal ass instinct #trb.txt #the only desks avalible r all facing the wall like no thanks!!!! #school blogging

[theriverbeyond]

why don't you do arts and crafts for 5 hours and then you'll calm down

#@ me........ my crops are flourishing rn. im creatively hydrated. #just spent 5 hours typesetting guys guess what. it is way easier to typeset a 8k fic than. 80k. im getting my mojo back #am i on top of my studies... well. you see. #trb.txt

[theriverbeyond]

the problem with griddlehark is that Gideon desperately wants to be a well used chewtoy but Harrow has carefully put her up on the shelf like she is a limited edition funko pop still in the box

#griddlehark #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #the locked tomb #trb.txt #gideon looks at those barkbox super chewers and says theyre just like me fr #anyway. there is always some bitch in a tomb in these books #have i made this post before probably #in my defense im very eepy

[theriverbeyond]

Gideon Nav terrible fashion sense is so important to me babygirl has never been free to dress herself in her LIFE and i firmly believe that if she did have that freedom she would wear just. the most dogshit outfits. socks with slides. neon colors. shirts that say TITS with an arrow pointing down. outfits so bad every woman she meets is begging to take her on a department store makeover episode. outfits so bad you wonder if she got dressed in the dark upside down picking her clothing items by chaos potential. outfits so bad they wrap around to being sick as hell before winding back and punching you straight in the face

#gideon nav #the locked tomb #thinking about how her whole life she's just been. stuck in roles dictated to her. and trying to break free so bad #but babygirl is in QUICKSAND the more she reaches for freedom the more violently it is ripped away from her. #anyway. gideon goofy oitfit truthers rise up #like if she had the freedom to dress herself eventually i think she would grow to have a really nice sense of style #but she needs that freedom first. to be goofy. #to ME #trb.txt #tlt thoughts

[theriverbeyond]

pros of doing crafts in bed: comfy, cozy, my cat is hanging out with me, i have so many pillows

cons of doing crafts in bed: LOST NEEDLE!!! IN MY BED!!! AAHHHHH

#trb.txt #anyway! life update!

[theriverbeyond]

Harrow the Ninth is really a book about what happens when you are the Best At Something your whole life and you sweat and bleed and sacrifice everything to earn your way to the place/position you've always dreamed of, but then when you do succeed it isn't as you expected. Not only does everyone you once admired turn out to be an awful person, but your abilities are no longer special. Your talent isn't enough. Your effort isn't enough. Your new peers have worked just as hard as you have and know just as much as you do, but more than that: they seem suddenly better, faster, more capable, all while you flounder in the shallow end of the pool as the abilities you spent your whole life honing abandon you in your time of need. Humiliation becomes your constant companion as you sweat and bleed and try anyway, but what once netted you endless success and acolades is now barely enough to survive.

And then, of course, there is The Skull

#tlt meta #trb.txt #harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth book that you are...... #book about burnout book about grief book about weird wet towel bitches who won't leave you alone

[theriverbeyond]

Hi my name is Crux Nolastname and I have no hair (it is sacramentally shorn) and my skull is very bony and have black eyes like coal and a lot of people tell me I look like a dead corpse (AN: if u don’t know what that is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to the Reverend Family but I wish I was because they are the best. I’m a mean old coot and my teeth falling out and yellow. I have grey and purple skin. I’m also a bitch, and I live on a installation on Pluto called the Ninth House (I’m 95 years old). I’m a penitant (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love the hand-me-downs of the Ninth House and I get all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black robe with matching embroidery around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. A redheaded dyke child stared at me. I hit her with my stick.

#the locked tomb #crux #posting this on request with no context #trb.txt #x #child abuse ment

[theriverbeyond]

so I started rereading GtN (as one does) and was struck by this passage where from the very beginning of the book, Gideon positions herself as more important to Harrow than the Locked Tomb:

cut to the pool scene and Gideon learns that not only does Harrow love the corpse of the Locked Tomb, but that the corpse of the Locked Tomb was, in all her silent sleep, able to convince Harrow to live in a way Gideon's (loud, active, constant) existance in her life was never able to

and I think that is really, like, when Gideon truly starts her sort of... backslide wrt her perception of her relationship with Harrow -- like, at this point in the story in the pool, she's already well along in her corruption arc into the "Perfect Cavalier". BUT like, we know from being inside Harrow's head that Harrow would break herself and her duty in order to hold onto Gideon. she would & she did!!!! which is!!! something that Gideon KNOWS at the beginning of GtN but then forgets/is convinced out of, entierly unintentionally, but to the point where by the time she comes back in HtN she has a totally reversed perception of how Harrow feels. leading to, of course, this:

anyway.

#gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #tlt meta #griddlehark #tlt thoughts #trb.txt #not sure if im articulating the things i wanna but i just woke up from a 4 hour nap so