#until i’ve gathered the strength to leave an entire friendgroup with people that meant the world for me

[lvstharmony]

​beyond grateful for the people that are surrounding me in my life, just as i am grateful for the people i’ve parted ways with, for without them, i would not be the person i am today.

#i have left so many people throughout my life #and #if someone would ask me if i’d regret any choice i’ve made i would say no #i regret hurting people yet i wouldn’t change a thing if i could #without the suffering the sacrifices and the lessons i would not be the person i am today that i can finally say i’m proud of #whenever i read the question “would you want to be your friend if you’d meet yourself?” deep down my answer was no #i was a good friend and i always tried my best to be there for everyone #but i was so blinded and overwhelmed by my pain that i tried so hard not to project on others that it was exactly the thing i’ve done #i was extremely caring sensitive loving and selfless but my ”bad“ traits were just as extreme #my emotions were so overwhelming that they were scattered all over the place that it didn’t allow me to have any control over them #i used to be so terrified of being alone. all i’ve felt was a great loneliness that was residing within me #until i’ve gathered the strength to leave an entire friendgroup with people that meant the world for me #they weren’t good for me anymore just as i wasn’t for them #since that day i’ve grown a lot i became a better and healthier version of myself #i learned how to be alone and to find the peace in it and in myself #all i’ve had was Allah swt. and He is all i will ever need. #without the hardships in terms of friendship i wouldn’t have been able to learn how to be alone and love and enjoy it #without it i could not say that i could easily give up the people in my life #i could if i had to bc i have Allah swt. #but i’ve learned how to choose and to choose the right people #i don’t need you and never will but i choose you bc i want you in my life and i think that makes it so much more special #i can finally say that i love the person i am today and can’t wait to see myself grow even more as the cycle of growing is never ending #I still have so much to learn and I will let it come to me with open arms #an open mind and an open heart #above all the most precious gift i’ve earned is to learn how to have tawakkul. #everything that happens every trial that is afflicted upon us has meaning #and it’s beautiful. #being able to pick out the khair in everything is the biggest blessing #alhamdulillah for the things that bruised my soul alhamdulillah for the things that mended it #alhamdulillah for everything bc truly; Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear.