#we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!! #i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........ #now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again......... #ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭 #idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

[mrs-evadne-cake]

“You shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to.”- Movies And TV

Since we’re about to hit the Stranger Things Doldrums where it’s been a while since S3 and S4 has just started filming and if you’re anything like me you’re gonna start jonesing bad- I thought I’d make a So You Need A Hit survival kit for myself of some Stranger Things-esque media to read/watch/play during the wait and that maybe you guys might be interested too. Not all of them are gonna set the world on fire- but hopefully there’s some stuff that people haven’t seen before Expect a lot of Small Town Nostalgia, a bunch of monsters, and more plucky, dangerously unsupervised kids than you can shake a stick at.

(STRANGER THINGS-ESQUE RECS CON’T) 

It (2019 and 1990): “Set in 1989 (and 1959, respectively) in the fictional town of Derry, Maine, the story begins when a young boy named George "Georgie" Denbrough disappears after the sudden arrival of a mysterious clown named Pennywise. Georgie's older brother, Bill, is left distraught by his disappearance, and after an encounter with Pennywise, looks for the help of six other outcasts who have had similar encounters with the clown and its other forms. The seven work together to examine the behavior of this shapeshifting creature — which they dub "IT" — and see if they can rescue Bill's missing brother at the same time.” -TVTropes (Obviously)

Super 8   “A group of middle schoolers in a small Ohio town in 1979 are dedicated to making a zombie movie to enroll in an upcoming film festival... While filming a scene late at night, they happen upon a freak train crash and barely escape before the authorities show up. Shaken up by the experience, they find that they accidentally filmed something on their Super 8-mm film camera in the aftermath of the crash, and soon they're caught up in strange happenings  with a monster on the lose and a secret military operation.”- TVTropes

(You don’t get closer to ST than Super 8. If this doesn’t fill the Teenagers, Monsters and CIA shaped hole in your life nothing will.)

Monster Squad -  “The film follows the exploits of a group of genre-savvy kids who seek to stop Dracula — and a host of other infamous movie monsters — from finding a mystical amulet and bringing about The End of the World as We Know It.” -TVTropes

Midnight Special “Alton Meyer, an 8-year-old boy with supernatural abilities, has been reported missing. In reality, his father Roy, along with Roy's lifelong friend Lucas, have taken the boy from the religious compound where he previously lived and gone on the run. Meanwhile, they are being pursued by members of the religious sect and agents of the FBI and NSA, both of whom are pursuing Alton for their own ends.”-TVTropes

Beyond the Gates Two estranged brothers reunite at their missing father's video store and find a cursed VCR board game dubbed 'Beyond The Gates' that holds a connection to their father's disappearance.” -IMDB

The Hole (Joe Dante 2009) “17-year-old Dane Thompson, his 10-year-old brother Lucas, and their mother, Susan, move from Brooklyn to the quiet town of Bensenville where Dane and Lucas befriend their next door neighbor, Julie. While exploring their new home, Dane and Lucas discover a trapdoor with several locks along each side in the basement. Opening the trapdoor reveals a hole which appears to be bottomless and  leads to the darkest corridors of their fears and nightmares.” -IMDB

The Babysitter “Tells the story of a twelve-year-old boy named Cole Johnson  who is constantly bullied, but is very good friends with his babysitter Bee. One night, while his parents are away in a hotel, Cole stays up to see what Bee does after his bedtime...and things take a turn for the worse.”- TVTropes

The Lost Boys “A recently divorced mother and her two sons move to Santa Carla, CA. The older one, Michael, falls in with a gang of biker vampires; the younger, Sam, befriends a couple of seemingly insane comic store assistants. When Michael begins turning into a vampire it’s up to Sam, with the help of the Frog brothers, to save him.”- TVTropes 

(For the Billy fans out there since Jason Patric and Dacre Montgomery got the same look going.)

Twin Peaks “The plot kicks off with the discovery of a teen cadaver,  one Laura Palmer. Eccentric FBI agent Dale Cooper responds to the matter in Twin Peaks, Washington, where he's teamed with the trusty-if-skeptical Sheriff Harry S. Truman. With the arrival of the Feds, further scandals start to bubble to the surface along with this supposedly unprecedented crime. Cooper, meanwhile, finds himself visited by enigmatic visions and dreams pointing to the real culprit.” -TVTropes

Marianne : “Emma, a famous and successful French horror writer, is forced to return to her hometown after the woman who haunted her dreams fifteen years ago begins to re-appear. The work she writes is apparently a work of fiction, but how much is fact? Joined by her childhood friends she finds herself battling a creature that takes the form of her own creation.” Wiki

(This series is one of the most legitimately frightening things I’ve seen in ages and feels more like a Stephen King adaption than most ACTUAL Stephen King adaptions. Like IT it bounces back and forth between a bunch of childhood friends as kids and adults as they fight a monster- originally French but the English dub is excellent for those who don’t like subs.) No-Creature Features:

Summer of ‘84 - “In the Summer of 1984, in the sleepy suburb of Ipswitch, Oregon, teenager Davey Armstrong is a conspiracy theorist who begins to suspect that a neighbouring police officer is a serial killer. With help from three friends, Davey launches a daring investigation that soon turns dangerous.” -IMDB

The Sandlot   “Follows the summer adventures and misadventures of a group of boys and their ragtag baseball team playing on "The Sandlot," their makeshift baseball field in Los Angeles, during the summer of 1962.” -IMDB

(You’re KILLIN’ me Smalls.)

Stand By Me: Twelve-year-old Gordie  and his friends Chris Chambers ,Teddy Duchamp and Vern Tessio  journey into the woods near their home to look for the body of a boy named Ray Brower, who was struck by a train while picking berries. Through the boys' misadventures and conversations, the viewer learns about each character and their friendships.- Wiki

The Goonies: “A small group of kids living on the "Goon Docks" of Astoria, Oregon are in dire straits: the owners of a local country club have threatened their families' homes with foreclosure so they can finish building a new addition to said country club. On one of their last days in the neighborhood, one of the "Goonies", Mikey discovers a Treasure Map in his attic. The map supposedly reveals where to find the treasure of infamous pirate One-Eyed Willie —but to get it, they must outwit a trio of mobsters and survive numerous death traps designed to keep One-Eyed Willie's treasure safe from outsiders.” -TVTropes

#movies #stranger things #media similar to stranger things recs