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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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WHITTY

Bad news, Updyke just hired a freaking assasin dragon thing to kill you. Be careful please!

VWTBNRNTUNTUNURBTWVED!!1(3(3?4)4492#$#7@7 HE WHAT?11??

WHAT THE FUCK IS A DRAGON????????

#WHAJDJFKDKS #whitty's witty answers #the askhole #cherryberryart

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torentialtribute · 5 years

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How Andy Murray became one of sport’s funniest stars on social media

To some, Andy Murray can cut a dour and boring figure. Even now this is a strange notion as the Brit is often one of the most engaging characters on the court.

But the doubters have a lot to do with Murray's entertaining persona on social media

Whether it is on Instagram or Twitter the 31-year-old is never shy from joking with his Tennis rivals and colleagues as well as making fun of himself.

Andy Murray uploaded an old picture of himself on Instagram and captioned it with: 'Still can not believe I survived getting struck by lightning. Thinking about bringing back this look '

Despite the cheery hat, Murray looked anything but happy as he made fun of his lack of birthday excitement with a simple Instagram post reading: 'I love birthdays'

The latter part is especially true. Murray's most recent post on Instagram features a less-than-flattering image of him receiving a massage as part of his post-match recovery following his win over Mackenzie McDonald at the Citi Open.

It's not just the present day Murray he pokes fun at either. Another recent post on Instagram showed a picture of his career in his career, in which he states: "I can not survive getting struck by lightning. Thinking about bringing back this look. '

Even Murray has joked along with his perceived dour persona. Posting an image on his birthday wearing a themed hat back in May, he posed with a completely uninterested look and captioned it, 'I love birthdays.'

He posted a rather than flattering look with a post-match massage, and has shown his creative side on Instagram with a snowman captioned: 'Glad I got something really productive done'

Pictured in front of the Whitehouse, Murray's attentions on his Instagram post were focused on the police officer behind him with the post reading: 'The dude behind me does not look too happy to be in the photo'

Murray has just missed out on the recent Wimbledon tournament where he was forced to pull out at the last moment.

But that has not prevented him from firing down a few a comebacks at his rivals during the season, with good friend Nick Kyrgios one such person […]

When the Australian posted an image of him relaxing with his dog on Instagram, Murray could not help but notice the placement of one of the cushions on his sofa and showed no mercy by replying with: 'Pillow strategically placed to cover the gut?'

Murray made fun of a post-match sporting exchange with rival Stan Wawrinka, with his Instagram post from June stating: 'Looking like we should be on Love Island instead of tennis courts but it's not how it looks'

Rival Nick Kyrgios shared a picture of him relaxing with his dog in January …

… but Murray was quick to hit back, implying that the Australian could be carrying extra weight

Not even the retired tennis players are safe from Murray's white, with Mark Petchey called for his photography skills at the Australian Open by the Scot in a light-hearted exchange.

Not to be deterred, Petchey just came back with another post on the tournament – this time in the form of a video rather than a camera.

But Murray was just as brutal with his return with remarks about how boring it is to watch people standing in a queue.

Murray's followers also got treated to his high sense of humor earlier this year, with a Twitter Q + A.

After Mark Petchey posted a picture of queens at the Australian Open, Murray was on hand to point out that the tennis pundit should stick to the day job …

… before then poking fun at Petchey again a day later about his queue watching activities

With Serena Williams having recently given birth, Murray was uncertain whether the crying baby or missing the Australian Open was or more […] general, about his family or even downright bizarre, Murray aced them all.

A response to a question about which languages he speaks a whitty reply about struggling to learn his primary one, while Judy Murray he was 'cool' and he was set to record his record by claiming his mother was anything but.

Even if there is no hope for a return, Murray can still find an answer.

When asked BBC's The Office – 'Will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?' Murray, I will not know .. But if I crash land in a jungle will I be able to eat my own shoe?

In a Twitter Q + A, Murray joked he was still trying to learn his primary language

The exchange with fans also saw him poke fun at his mother for not being cool

Even the most bizarre question saw Murray return with a witty response

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#How Andy Murray became one of sport’s funniest stars on social media"

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Whitty I'm afraid to say this but,, you have been diagnosed with dumb bitch boomer syndrome 💔💔

oh just kill me right now

#spare me the suffering #whitty's witty answers #the askhole #anon #shitpost #(/joking)

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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A small bomb, looking like your head but smaller with a very excited look in his eyes

"IS THAT REALLY YOU WHITTY. IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN mainly since we look similar and our names are also similar. oh i havent introduced myself yet, im whit"

As whit said his name his eyes started flashing with xs triangles squares and circles

"Oh sorry tnat happens when i feel very happy or very mad sorry"

@whit-ask-blog

*He jumps a little* what the-- ayo what the fuuuck?! who decapitated YOU???

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #whit ask blog #(might fuck around and start posting again lmfao)

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Hey Whitty. I know I already apologized earlier but... I wanted to apologize properly, It’s what blueberry would have wanted anyway. So I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

its aight, i told ya that already. we cool.

#.... wait up a sec-#(genuinely not sure what this means--) ... is she ok?#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #inky trio

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Ive found uh...6? In total so far but theres also a clown out there idk if he counts but-

yknow.

i... holy fucking shit god help us all...-- WAIT ARE YOU SAYIN THAT THERES SOME FUCKER OUT THERE WHO THINKS HES FUNNIER THAN ME??

#HEY NO IM THE CLOWN OF THE GROUP #whitty's witty answers #the askhole #anon #pink and blue anon

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Buuut- to get out of the chaos that is happening, I could stitch up your jacket for you. It will only take about ten minutes.

... to be honest, i dunno if theres even enough of it left to salvage... man

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #inky trio

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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I thought acab meant assigned clown at birth for a second.

I suppose i was the clown all along.

bold of you to assume your definition of acab and the actual one cant coexist.

#ok but the thought of combining them to get ''assigned cop at birth'' has me defeated... top ten crossovers #whitty's witty answers #the askhole #anon #acab

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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They started shaking as they kept their eyes to the ground. They stayed silent and their started to ring. They knew that he could never forgive them for joining TGG but without thinking too much about it..

I'm so sorry....

*Saying nothing else, he turned around, and resumed his run. Knowing that they could easily have an ambush prepared, waiting for his moment of weakness. ... Only now, he ran faster than ever. Fueled by the seething rage in his chest, one that's now crawling up his throat, trying to get into his head.*

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #ari #save your apologies for your boss. its his mercy you're now gonna need most.

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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One of my two dogs can reach the 7'5 ft tall easily

nonononono thanks! you better keep that shit on a leash istg

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #cherryberryart

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Cha Cha real smooth

*does a dumb little dance and pisses off the authorities*

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #anon #shitpost

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Y'all we are forgetting the number 1 tall people issue. The covers don't cover your body! Like this man had to buy at LEAST 3 covers to cover his entire body to not be cold at night

I'm honestly more bothered by the weird looks people give me on the rare occasions I actually venture into public- I don't worry about that other thing much. Probs because, thanks to the whole "explosive" thing, I'm literally never cold. ... Either that or I'm incapable of feeling it. Whichever way ya flip it though, the fact remains...

"The cold never bothered me anyway~"

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #fnf ask blog #anon #🔥lore🔥

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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*Gives you a pillow*

thanks! *takes it and screams into it*

#whitty's witty answers #the askhole #somebodythatwantstoperish

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bruisedfuse · 3 years

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Are you okay? Mentally AND physically