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#who’s hoof prints and antlers and sounds all match an elk more than a deer
hrmnrmpfh · 1 month
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Sinner! Adam is the first person to not mistake Alastor for a deer, change my mind
Adam: the fuck are you losers doing?
Angel: me ’n Charlie wanna know if playing deer alarm calls will make Bambi freak out
Adam: you’re wasting your time
Charlie: it’s worth a shot, and this could help us get to know Alastor better!
Adam: like, do whatever, I don’t give a shit, but at least do something relevant to elk or shit won’t happen
Charlie: that’s what we’re doing?
Adam: he’s an elk, bitch, not a deer, so deer calls won’t work
Angel, scoffing: yeah, ’cuz you’d know more about Alastor in six days than us in six months
Adam: uh, I fuckin’ would know! I named the animals, course I know the differences between ’em. That red edgelord is an elk!
Alastor, appearing behind Adam: *sips Zestial-style out of his ‘oh deer’ mug like the pun negates Adam’s point*
Adam, visibly unimpressed: *plays an elk bugle*
Alastor, becoming rapidly less congruent with reality as he grows building sized: *destroys a wall and loses his entire shit in a show of power that would scare Lucifer*
Adam, who fears not even God himself: ha! I was fucking right! Dick-fucking-master! Hey, why are you two running away? Sore losers!
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