#yeah the day i shut up about his dick is the day I've died etc. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kuzcosources · 1 year

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Bullet Train (2022) Sentence Starters

pronouns and context can be changed as you see fit. swearing, blood, violence, etc below.

You never know what horrible fate your bad luck has saved you from.

You are getting the new and improved me.

You put peace out in the world, you get peace back.

Ladybugs are supposed to be lucky. Ha, ha.

My bad luck is biblical.

I’m not even trying to kill people and someone dies.

I mean, talk about a candidate for self-improvement.

_____ says every conflict is an opportunity for a peaceful… what was it?

Bloody fuckin’ hell. Do you mind?

What is he, fucking blind or something?

Oh, come on, nicking…? No.

You don’t have to nick the biscuits, man.

Why’d I do that? It's like I've got a compulsion or something. I have to take it if I see it.

Need to talk to someone. Serious.

Briefcases have owners. Owners are not simple.

You’re bleeding, mate.

Oh, shit, man. Oh, fuck.

Who the fuck did I kill?

Get a wet one on it or something.

Yeah. I don’t bleed. Oh, in that case, just leave your jacket open, let everyone have a good old look.

Holy shitbox.

What’s the catch? There is no catch.

There's always a catch.

We could deliver you back to your pops in a box.

You ever watch Thomas the tank engine?

Everything I learned about people I learned from Thomas.

Fuck me!

Yeah, you seem like a Percy. Young. Sweet. Not all there.

Your daddy hired us to get you out of the trouble you got yourself into, didn’t you, naughty boy?

_____, you’re startin’ to get on my tits.

The fuck is wrong with you, man?

Why do you always bring swords?!

That's really mean.

Our job is to keep you safe and to recover the briefcase with the ransom money inside.

Maybe my luck is starting to turn.

You’re going to want to hear the whole story, or you’ll be very… Very sorry.

Three words describe our situation right now.

Why do I even bother forwarding you the briefings?

So let me put this bluntly: there’s this soulless psychotic leader with the largest criminal organization on the planet shoved right inside our fucking ass cheeks.

Three words, _____: we are fucked.

People think that I’m just some young girl.

But I’m not in someone else’s story. You're all in mine.

You still got that vest on ya?

Oh, no, vests give you a false sense of security.

Yeah, it also stops you from getting shot in the chest, but I guess you missed that episode of Thomas, did ya?

Nut up or shut up, bruv.

You ruined my life.

I don't even know you!

Let this be a lesson in the toxicity of anger.

The fuck is a Momonga?

I don’t know, why don’t you tell him about the story about how Gordon met Percy and how Percy’s now bleeding from his fucking eye sockets!

I'm really good with faces.

We have to have a hard discussion about the caliber of people we are surrounding ourselves with.

I didn’t realize I was gettin’ a babysitter to come cut my bollocks.

This rude enough for ya, ya fucking prick?

Fuck this job.

I’m just fuckin’ with you, mate.

You look like every white homeless man I’ve ever seen.

Real quick, um, every day is a fucking headache with you, innit?

It’s like Thomas the Tank Engine always says; “Simple is better.”

Eat a bag of dicks, lady.

Would you describe me as someone who lives in perpetual anxiety?

Is this like a...sex thing?

I-I do love an accent.

The innocent young girl act doesn’t really get you very far if you’re holding a loaded gun.

Oh, man, when this train’s a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’, right?

Are you hiding in a bathroom?

Yeah. Have you tried these smart toilets? They're... a pleasure to the senses.

Come here, you-you dirty fucking scum!

You know what? Do you have, um, anything sparkling?

How much for the bottle of water, love?

You fucking bastard! Fucker!

Come here, you little fuck!

For what it’s worth, you seem like a right fucking asshole and I’m glad you’re gonna fucking die with me.

I was trying to sell it. I was selling it.

Well, I don’t think they were in the market for fucking dildos and pantyhose, were they?

Sorry. Pardon me, I don’t mean to interrupt what’s, uh, going on here, but, uh, you wouldn’t happen to have seen a tiny white prick with a pair of glasses come through here, have you?

It’s a bit of a conundrum, really, ’cause, you know, I’m thinking, “do I hand him back in one piece or do I chop you up into little pieces and stuff you inside a fucking Momomon or not?”

God, he’s got a great walk.

Fuck, that thing is hot.

You want a blanket? Want me to hold your hand?

Are you lying on the ground in the fetal position?

Keep your fucking knickers on, all right?

Please! What the fuck are you doing, you bell end?!

Make sure you do something that brings you peace, ’cause everything else is a pain in the ass.

And if you run into a guy named _____, he’s a dick. You can tell him I said so.

#heh me using a bullet list #i love how you can tell whos speaking in each quote #this script is just so good #rp meme #rp memes #rp ask #rp asks #rp prompt #rp prompts #rp ask meme #rp ask memes #rp ask prompt #rp ask prompts

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didiwaffles · 6 years

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My ex messaged me again. He does it once in a while. Saying hi, how are you, what're you doing, etc. Sometimes I ignore him. When I'm in bad mood. Sometimes I answer, telling him that my life is perfect (without him). Usually it ends up with him asking me out.

Now, look. We broke 2 years ago I guess? And he still messages me. Like, does he expect me to not find someone else? What's with this "you're such a loser that no one would date you anyway". Well, yeah, I hadn't had a date since then but for different reasons. Does he really expect me to come back just like this? Oh boy, he must be incredibly dumb then.

I'd say I'm having fun watching him running after me, but... That's not what he's doing? Well, at least not in my opinion.

We've been dating for few months and I left as soon as I started to feel uncomfortable near him. But looking back, I see now there was much more, that I didn't see back then. And I'm happy I left. And I won't come back. Even if I'm on the edge.

You know those Good Guys™? He definitely one of them. Along with my brother. I hope they both go straight to hell.

I broke up with him by message. Thankfully we live far away from each other. So what he did? Uhm, nothing? He didn't do anything at all. As always though. He didn't call me. Didn't ask me why. Like it was a joke. But it wasn't. And he didn't care. Why again I should go out with you?

Probably, he thinks that if he has a dick, that means every girl would quiver before him. Guess what? No.

So, why I left, huh? OK, I'll try to remember now. First that comes to mind, is when he tried to teach me how to cook. Why, thank you, Your Fucking Highness. So there was short period (three days) when we lived in the same flat. And I was cooking for his dumb fucking ass. And he just went to kitchen and started with how I do everything wrong. Boy oh boy that pissed me off. I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable when someone is on kitchen when I'm cooking. But lecturing me? Are you fucking what? Do it yourself, if you're so smart. But, no, the end was when she took a pan with still boiling oil (!) and decided to wash it (!) under cold water! I think something died inside of me back then.

Another one. So if we were gonna make something serious out of our relationships, we needed to think about somewhere to live. He lived with parents, so did I. And oh boy he found brilliant solution. Yeah, I will buy us a flat. Cool story bro. Yeah, suggestion, which can be made only buy true Man™.

His friends... Is something special. If being short, he yelled at me that I wasn't talking much during our hang out. He literally yelled at me for that! So they were preparing for wedding, and was talking about that, then they started to talk about their inside stuff, which I had no clue about. I was listening to their completely uninteresting crap for two hours just to be yelled at. Ugh. Do you want to talk about our God and Saviour Oda-sensei? Warcraft, maybe? Ugh, I'm not sure what else I was interested in at the time. SAO? Supernatural? No? Then shut the fuck up and leave me be.

But line was crossed a bit later. He went on work and forgot how to use Google and probably phone in general. So I needed to search the address for him on maps and then send it through Whatsup. It appeared at the evening that he's dumb and got lost. And I am of course the one to blame. Sure, why not? But he wasn't satisfied just making me feel awful. So I tried to apologize (for what again? ahh, whatever) and all I got was... Nothing? He ignored me? Like, I get it, women like assholes, and those who cold to them, right? Well, it looks that day he learned that it's not like that. Did he even learned? Who cares.

I was thinking all night. And then left. Because I didn't want to be with someone, who would be cold towards me. I've got my lesson. And haven't had a single date since then. Because fuck you.

Now, let me tell you, sweety. I would buy a flat for them. I would hug them when they feeling bad. I would apologies even if I did nothing wrong. I would give them my jacket if they're cold, even if I'm feeling cold. I would cook their favourite food. If they have bad mood, I would go on the other side of the world to comfort them. I would do anything for them. For my girlfriend. But you're not my girlfriend. If you call yourself a Man, be so nice, and act like one. If not, too bad for you. I don't like idea of dating girl who think she's not one.

I mean I would gladly date trans boy. Or trans girl. Or cis girl. Or cis boy. Or anyone really. Except for Nice Guy™. Sorry, pal. You're not from my league. Go fuck yourself. Maybe even literally. I don't give a fuck.

#oh no #my hand slipped #I didn't mean to write such a long post about this asshole #but #whatever

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