#you can't convince me that luffy isn't the biggest platonic cuddler in their universe

[slurp-imagines]

Usopp - The Thunder Breaks

Angst/Fluff prompt 18: “I can’t breathe.”

An Usopp-centric fic lightly inspired by the song “Neptune” by Sleeping at Last.

Words: 1,947 Warning: mild descriptions of anxiety attacks

As always, he doesn’t know how the hell it gets to this point, but Luffy is leading the five of them into another stupidly dangerous adventure.

Again: stupidly dangerous. Unnecessarily so. They could have left hours ago, and would have been happily on their way to the next island! But one thing led to another, and now there are explosions left and right, bullet spray maybe thirty feet behind, and the threat of sudden death looming over Usopp’s head.

A body flies past him– an enemy’s, thankfully. He screams because he’s terrified, and he clings to Nami when she grabs his arm (because they’ve seemed to silently come to an agreement that you’ve got to cling to something when it seems like everything’s about to go to hell, and what better than a person who shares your fear?), and when Chopper starts sobbing, he does as well.

They always wind each other up like this. It’s a way of coping with the stress of it all, he knows, but he also knows that sometimes long after Nami and Chopper have accepted whatever horrific turn of events just took place, he finds that he’s still trembling.

He always tries to squash it down. Always tries to keep up an air of bravado, but he guesses it’s kind of his running “gag” now that he always fails at it.

It’s Sanji who first notices.

Usopp is staring bug-eyed at nothing while countless thoughts run through his head, tripping and crashing into each other as they go.

What’s gonna happen to me? Am I gonna have to help them? Can I even help? What do I do, what can I do? I can’t even breathe what’s going on what if I get hit? Where’s Zoro, I’ll just stay behind Zoro, where’s–

“Oi, what’re you just standing there for?”

Usopp lets out a yelp and flinches at Sanji’s hand on his shoulder, then immediately curses himself for it. There’s a pause, and he’s sweating and taking heaving breaths, and then,

“Are you scared?”

Usopp doesn’t think he can speak right now. He wants to push his chest out, to grab his slingshot and send his own spray of ammo into the slew of enemies. He tells himself it’s the sternness of Sanji’s gaze that stops him from doing it, but he knows it’s an awful lie.

So Usopp swallows over the lump in his throat, forces himself to hold eye contact, and somehow manages a single slow nod of his head.

There’s a moment where Usopp’s heart all but leaps out of his chest, fully expecting to be kicked directly into the fray and scolded for his cowardice.

But then Sanji nods back. Not pitying, not teasing, not disappointed or irritated. 

Just a nod.

The hand on his shoulder gives a firm squeeze.

“Stick close to me, then.” He smiles, wide and fully at ease. “You’ll be fine.”

“Sh-Shouldn’t I help?”

Sanji side-steps him and delivers a firm kick to the gut of an approaching enemy pirate. He glances over his shoulder and shouts back at him,

“Take a breather! When you’re feeling up to it, I could use the back-up!”

He clearly doesn’t need it, Usopp thinks, watching their cook send another pair of men flying.

He can still feel his heartbeat pounding all the way to his ears, but after one trembling, deep breath, he reaches for his slingshot.

He fights.

Not very impressively, but he fights still.

Two years and four crew mates later, and it still hasn’t gone away. It’s less often and usually less immobilizing, but there are still times where it returns full-force. Sometimes at night, and sometimes for no reason at all.

He really thinks he couldn’t have worse luck. No one else in the crew is like this. He’s sure of it.

He lies awake in bed for an hour. Trying to breathe like Zoro taught him to some time ago.

One, two, three, four.

Four, three, two, one.

One, two, three, four.

Four, three, two, one.

But Zoro isn’t in the room right now. Zoro isn’t counting out loud for him. So he tries listening to the snores of his crewmates to help guide him, but as time goes on it just gets fuzzier and fuzzier.

He doesn’t want to bother Zoro while he’s up training. His heart is pounding out of his chest but he doesn’t want to wake Chopper again for something that’s not life or death (even if he feels like it is). Sanji, too, needs all the rest he can get– it’s still a couple hours before he rises to start with meal prep.

And so Usopp staggers out of bed. His clumsiness probably makes his exit a little too loud, but almost everyone present is a deep sleeper, anyway.

He doesn’t trust himself to sit on the lion head, so sits on the deck right behind it and leans his back against it.

He knows it’s Luffy’s spot, so he thinks maybe it’ll help him feel a little stronger.

It doesn’t help.

It’s almost sunrise once he feels like his body is back under his own control. He’s splayed across the warm wood of the deck, trying to regain his strength and stretch out his limbs that had gone cold and cramped while he sat curled up through the night.

The captain himself leans directly over Usopp, and nearly startles him into a real heart attack this time.

“L-Luffy! What the hell!” he shouts, scrambling back into a seated position.

He’s snickering, but otherwise ignores Usopp’s outburst. “Wanna come sit on the lion head with me? It’s nicer up there.”

“Can both of us even fit?”

“Sure we can!”

Luffy was right, but it’s a tight squeeze seated between Usopp’s legs, an arm fixed around his waist (because his sniper is paranoid like that). It was the other way around at first, but Usopp’s hair kept going up Luffy’s nose so he insisted that they switch. It took another five minutes reassuring Usopp he wouldn’t fall– and if he did, then Luffy would catch them both– before they were able to watch the sunrise together in peace.

"D’ya think Sanji’s gonna wake up soon?” Probably. He usually gets up not too long after first daylight. “I’m so hungry! Aren’t you?”

"Nah. Just tired.” Dammit. He doesn’t mean to complain, but he gets way too loose-mouthed with exhaustion.

“Eh?” Luffy cranes his head around, peering at his friend behind him. “Didn’t you sleep enough?” Usopp cringes and looks away, and Luffy takes that as a no. “Why didn’t you sleep?”

Why not indeed.

Usopp’s first instinct is to lie. It’d be pretty easy with Luffy, too. He saw a huge fish in the water last night, so he stayed up to keep an eye out for it. Simple enough.

But then he sees the look in Luffy’s eyes. Not concerned, not yet; still just innocently curious. It’d probably eat at him if he isn’t honest with his answer, but he’d get over it, right?

The only qualm is that he listens to his body. It is aching all over and begging to continue resting.

He really does not think he has it in him right now to keep up any sort of facade.

So he gulps down the saliva collected in his mouth, and speaks to his captain’s waiting ears.

“It-It’s just–” When the words leave his throat, he almost feels his dinner come up with them. “W-When I think about everything we’re gonna face out there... it gets... hard to breathe. Th-That’s why.”

Luffy turns back to face the sea, letting out a long, thoughtful hum. Usopp can all but hear the gears turning underneath that straw hat while his captain tries to see where he’s coming from. Luffy doesn’t seem to succeed and shakes his head as if to signal this. “How come? It makes me excited.”

Usopp heaves a deep sigh. “Just forget it, Luffy. You wouldn’t understand.” Perhaps a little too harsh, his tone a little too biting, but could anyone blame him? He is one man on a sea of goddamn monsters. “You aren’t scared of anything.”

The shift in his captain’s mood is basically palpable, and he’s filled with regret at his words. Why does he always get so snappy when he’s anxious?

Luffy is quiet for ten seconds– Usopp counts them– before he says,

“Sabaody was scary.”

The three words manage to take him back to that day almost instantly.

He feels it again– the horrified confusion and overwhelming dread that bloomed in the pit of his stomach when Zoro disappeared before his eyes.

“Run! RUN!”

Back then, he could only barely hear his captain’s voice in the distance, could only barely find it in him to move, let alone run. He had never seen Luffy in a panic until that day, all too accustomed to his captain’s unyielding positivity in the face of danger. Which is why nowadays, he can hear it clear as day while he’s dreaming. Over and over.

“Y-Yeah.” He doesn’t know in what order the rest of them were blown away, but he couldn’t imagine being the last one to go. The thought of it is just... “Terrifying.” Usopp places a hand on his chest, hoping desperately that it won’t start up again. It’s been hours with it already. It all feels like too much. 

“I don’t want you to be scared, Usopp.”

“W-Well... me neither,” he sighs. “But here we are.”

It’s hard to catch Luffy during a serious moment, and even harder to keep him on a serious topic for long. But his captain’s quiet voice lets Usopp know that perhaps talking about it with him this time around might be a good idea.

“I’m not strong like you guys,” Usopp blurts out. “That’s why I’m not excited about it.”

"What are you talking about?” He sounds amused, like Usopp’s just said the dumbest thing he’s heard in a while. “You’re strong!”

“Not as strong as you!”

“Yeah, but so what? You always make things work.” He pats Usopp’s hand that is still fixed at his hip. “And you’re my friend, so it doesn’t matter if someone ends up being too much for you. I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.”

Luffy says it like it’s more than a promise. Firm and resolute, a simple refusal to bend.

I’m going to beat up Big Mom. I’m going to beat up Kaido. I’m going to become the Pirate King. And I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

He says it like it’s fact.

Usopp really has no clue how his captain’s brain or heart exist the way they do. It leaves him in awe each time he’s reminded of this.

But like everything else– like a black cat’s claws, like a fishman’s punch– he guesses he has to take it on the chin, and press forward still.

His captain doesn’t want him to be afraid. There are plenty of reasons to be, but that fact alone seems to cancel them all out.

I’m going to beat up Big Mom. I’m going to beat up Kaido. I’m going to become the Pirate King. And I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you.

There’s still that familiar curl of apprehension in his gut. But he thinks that maybe, by the same incomprehensible force that pushes his captain ever higher, the curl will come loose when it counts.

Luffy pats his hand again, leaning back further into his chest.

The extra warmth is a little stifling underneath the heat of the newly risen sun. Usopp knows part of himself is glad for it.

#usopp #one piece #monkey d. luffy #sanji #one piece imagines #sensitive #you can't convince me that luffy isn't the biggest platonic cuddler in their universe #also... #have I mentioned yet how much I love usopp? #this is twice as long as I intended #there was a whole section with franky that I gave up on & it's still longer than intended #what can I say? usopp's my mans