#you fuckers will let everyone else have their flags and not bat an eye but the minute a gay man wants some cute stripes you just lose it

[shriek-of-the-vermin]

people who have issues with the gay man flag existing shut up challenge nobody wants to talk to you

people who have issues with it being blue for boys shut up literally every other flag in the big four letters use pink and/or blue for a reason its colour association its fucking shorthand you mug nobody wants to talk to you

people who have issues that it looks like the lesbian flag gEE WHIZ IT'S ALMOST LIKE GAY MEN AND LESBIANS ARE REALLY GOD DAMN SIMILAR IN THAT WE'RE BOTH HOMOSEXUAL AND HAVE ALWAYS HAD AN INTERTWINED HISTORY LIKE JUMPING JUPITER'S BATMAN nobody wants to talk to you

#pride discourse #let gay men have their fucking shit i s2g you're all so fucking homophobic #you fuckers will let everyone else have their flags and not bat an eye but the minute a gay man wants some cute stripes you just lose it #if you say its unnecessary you can't use any flag but the rainbow bc they're unnecessary too then #if its bad bc blue for boys you can't use any flag that uses blue pink both or purposefully neither to denote a gender reason #if you have issues with it looking like the lesbian flag you can't use any flag that has any other flag with a similar stripe set or colour #theme even if it's purposeful bc it's two linked identities like transmasc and transfem #please go away

[inkribbon796]

Useless Bravery

Summary: Virgil wants to be a real hero despite his fears and past. So he decides that, if he’s going to be a good guy, he needs to stop working with the bad guys. Something that gets complicated when the villain life isn’t quite done with him.

A/N: I like to imagine Dark sees a bit of himself in Virgil, hence the excessive force and tough love.

Virgil knew he had to face him eventually, the rest of the heroes already knew. He just had to look Dark in the eye and . . .

. . . Virgil was already getting sweaty palms. He was pretty sure this was going to end with Dark trying to stab him in the heart, and he was torn between bringing someone with him and sneaking off.

But he didn’t want anyone else to get hurt, so he decided to go alone.

Anxiety was hardly the only one to do so, Eric made a habit of sneaking off like a rebellious teenager every so often, and hell knew where Marvin disappeared off to sometimes.

In the end, Virgil put on his dark cloak and picked a time during the day, a point where him slipping off for a “breath of fresh air'' wouldn’t be questioned by anyone. He started wandering, not sure how to approach Dark without being shot by one of his flunkies.

After some thought and wandering, and what felt like eyes from the dark abyss boring into his soul, he stopped in front of a traditional Korean restaurant that Dark used as a front for “business meetings” and Virgil figured Dark would see him coming.

Awkwardly, Virgil walked into the restaurant, already noticing one of the waiters spotting him as he was talking to a patron and leaning into his collar to whisper something.

“Hey,” Virgil said to the hostess who didn’t seem to bat an eye at his presence. She just looked him up and down.

“Do you have a reservation?” She asked curtly.

Virgil mentally stalled a bit, but he managed, “Well the big guy wanted to talk to me, so I guess I do.”

“Right this way, Sir,” she smiled at him and led him to the same upstairs room he’d last met Dark in. The only difference was that Dark was waiting for him, sitting in a comfy dining chair across a table, his aura lightly ringing at the edge of Virgil’s hearing.

“Anxiety,” Dark smiled as Virgil walked in. “How nice to see you again. I was half afraid you’d forgotten our little arrangement.”

Dark gestured to the chair across from him, “Take a seat, a waiter will be along shortly.”

Virgil already felt the need to run, or jump out the window, “I don’t think I’ll be here long enough for that.”

The mob boss stood, the slim shadow — or a mockery — of a smile at the corners of his mouth, “I suppose you’re right.”

“An’ I didn’t forget,” Virgil tried to act braver than he was, trying to channel Logan or Janus a bit. “I just wanted to be sure.”

“Of?” Dark urged, taking a couple of steps forward so he was closer, Virgil yelped and felt his heart trying to drop out of his chest and run away when he felt something curling around his left ankle.

Virgil took a couple deep breaths, trying to control his racing heart. Finally he blurted out, “Arthur’s dead.”

Then he braced to get hit, screwing his eyes just.

But that didn’t happen. Not even close.

Dark just let out this amused little cackle, the grip around his ankle tightening just a little, “Oh little Anxiety, I might not remember all the little details of our last encounter at the base, but my enforcer is alive and well.”

“Hate to tell you you’re barking up the wrong tree, but you are,” Virgil said, shaking his ankle free. He wasn’t lying, not technically. The guy was dead as a doornail, but the Host still breathed and walked anyways. “You’re mistaking someone else for him.”

“Who?” Dark seemed way too happy for someone who was most likely furious at Virgil. All kinds of red flags were waving in Virgil’s mind.

“Like I’d give you another hero’s identity,” Virgil told him, then summoning up every brave fiber in his body, he proclaimed, “Look if you’re going to kill me, just do it already. Not like it’s going to change the fact that the guy’s dead.”

“Kill you?” Dark let out this chilling cackle that just unnerved the anxious Side down to the bone. “Now why would I kill a useful little Trojan horse like you?”

Something in Virgil felt like he’d been stabbed, “What?”

Dark’s smile seemed to become twisted, inhuman. “Use that brain of yours for five seconds, Virgil, why would I let an opportunity like you go? It was obvious from even the first second that you didn’t belong with us and initially I’d planned to let you go with nothing more than a bloodied back and some lacerations. Then I had two of my own disappear and there you were, just needing a little push out of the nest.”

“What—” Virgil felt like the world was caving in on him. “What did you do to me?”

“Oh nothing,” Dark grinned. “Nothing short of shaving all the skin off your body won’t solve. I just infused you with a spell that discreetly went off when Anti and Mare used that device to possess you. So that every time you entered or left the base, my aura would be left behind. So I could get in easier. That last encounter at the base I was so close, I can feel it. J.J’s never had to reset me seven times before. Either he’s been getting more powerful, or I’ve been slacking.”

“You fucker!” Virgil shouted. “That wasn’t part of the deal!”

“You don’t make open deals with the devil, sweetheart,” Dark scoffed.

“I didn’t make an open deal, I promised to find someone, not sneak you in!” Virgil shouted in an angry panic.

“I do have to congratulate you on such an authentic performance, I knew that kicked puppy dog look would do wonders on them,” Dark smiled, clearly ignoring Virgil’s outburst.

“You bastard!” Virgil spat. “You lying son of a bitch!”

He got punched in the gut by Dark’s aura for that last one.

“A pity no one ever taught you manners,” Dark warned, watching Virgil cough violently. “Deceit was always the best you four had to offer.”

“You lied to me,” Virgil accused. “They were all lies, weren’t they?”

Dark had the gall to look like a proud cat that had been caught devouring a cage full of prized birds. “Did you like it, maybe I should lay on the grief and betrayal more? Do you think the other heroes would buy it?”

“You monster,” Virgil snarled. “Don’t you dare touch them.”

“If they hadn’t been harboring my enforcers, they would be minding their own business and chasing their tails, but no they had to steal from me!” Dark threatened, his aura and echoes shattering briefly to remind Virgil that Dark was actually furious.

“I told you he’s dead,” Virgil insisted.

Dark’s aura started to slowly envelope the room, the ringing hurt Virgil’s ears to the point he was afraid they’d start bleeding. “I wonder how much I have to hurt you before you tell me the truth? And best of all I can just dump your unconscious body in front of their base and they’d just take you back in a heartbeat.”

“No!” Virgil felt a pulse of fear whip out of him before he could decide to use it, Dark seemed unaffected.

“I’m all but immune to you now,” Dark warned proudly. “Your little magic trick barely worked on me to begin with.”

“Get away from me!” Virgil tried to back out of Dark’s aura but it seemed to be everywhere. “Get away—”

He was spiraling into a panic attack, realizing how thoroughly trapped he was. He berated himself on coming alone. “What kind of idiot comes alone to talk to Dark?” he thought to himself critically.

“Now,” Dark took another step, Virgil panicked and tried to keep some kind of distance between them.

“Where,” he took another step, forcing Virgil to take a second retreating step or two.

“Are,” Dark’s next step made Virgil’s back hit the wall, “they?”

“He’s not,” Virgil’s voice caught in his throat, “I don’t.”

“Shame that Deceit never taught you how to lie properly,” Dark’s hand gripped onto the bottom of his chin, his black nails digging into Virgil’s skin, producing a squeak of terror from him. “You will tell me what I want to know, Virgil.”

At that second Virgil felt something like hands grip his ankles and Virgil screamed so loud his voice almost went completely hoarse as he was pulled down into what looked like complete darkness. He closed his eyes and hit the side of something hard.

Virgil was in a full panic at this point, screaming and curling himself into a tight ball, his eyes closed tightly.

“—going to bring down the neighborhood.”

Virgil felt a hand on his back and started whimpering, trying to get whoever was touching him to let go. Mental sirens going off. Let go! Let go! I’m going to die! He’s going to kill me!

Mercifully the hand pulled away from him but the sheer knowledge that Dark lurking around him had him still spiraling.

“Virgil?”

They’re not going to find my body! Do Sides even leave bodies? What idiot comes alone to meet Dark?

“Virgil?”

That time the voice got through to him, and Virgil looked through tear-blurry eyes, sure that his eyeliner and eye shadow was running, and saw the black and yellow of Janus’s cloak.

“Virgil, it’s just me,” Janus reassured. “Can I touch you?”

“Dee,” Virgil chokes out, so relieved to see another Side. He threw himself at Janus, feeling so elated he started crying again.

Janus startled at the unexpected lunge but let Virgil hug him, rubbing circles into his back. “We have you now.”

“Dark!” Virgil suddenly remembered, still worked up into a panic. “We have to get out of here.”

“I need you to calm down, you remember your breathing right?” Janus reminded. “Would you like me to get you some ice.”

“No he’s here and he’s going to kill everyone,” Virgil told him.

“Virgil, where do you think you are?” Deceit asked, a bowl of ice chunks suddenly in his hand.

Startled a little, Virgil looked around and saw he was in the apartment he used to live in with the others.

“I need to get out of here,” Virgil blurted. “He can’t find me here.”

“Anxiety should relax,” the Host announced himself from where he was standing in the Sides’ kitchen. There was blood dripping from beneath his bandages. “So long as the Host is here, Anxiety and his friends are safe.”

“You!” Virgil growled, his voice echoing a bit. “Why don’t you own up to Dark for leaving instead of letting the heroes do it?”

“The Host cannot strike before things are ready,” the Host tried to reassure but Virgil was just so angry at him.

“We could have died!” Virgil shouted. “Why not just fight Dark if you’re so powerful?”

“Because the Host is selfish and knows when to pick his battles,” the Host answered. “The city has bigger problems than the Entity’s rogue parental instincts.”

“Did you know I was being tracked?” Virgil demanded.

“Honestly the Host didn’t expect it to keep being a problem, once Anxiety begins fusing ag—”

“No!” Virgil shouted. “I’m not going back there, I’ll let Dark in.”

The Host quiet for a bit, “Anxiety is fighting against the tides of fate and time, regardless of how long it takes, Virgil will rejoin the heroes.”

“Yeah well you also told Eric he was going to spill his coffee and then he didn’t,” Virgil accused. “I can’t keep betraying them if I never go back. You knew, you knew and never told me!”

“Anxiety is a constant unpredictable variable, and the Host will not apologize for doing what he thought was right,” the Host countered.

Maybe it was because he was rattled and angry, but the Host just reminded him so much of Dark in that moment. “You’re just selling all of them out. You want us all to die?”

“Anxiety is incorrect,” the Host responded, sounding angry. “The Host is interested in protecting his doctor. He will try to save those he considers allies and friends, but the Host’s Doctor is the Host’s top priority.”

“Get out!” Janus ordered.

Virgil flinched at Janus’s yell, taking a step away from him.

“You can take that care and consideration and walk back to Dark and the heroes and tell them all to fuck off,” Deceit hissed, glaring at the Host. “You don’t get to use him like that.”

“The Host has done no such thing,” the Host defended. “Anxiety was actually in danger and so the Host removed him, the Host would have not allowed actual harm to come to Anxiety. However, if his presence is undesirable, he will take his leave.”

“You should,” Janus agreed.

The Host’s narrations began to get more hushed and cluttered, his eyes starting to bleed again, then he was gone.

Immediately Janus turned back to Virgil, looking him over, “Are you hurt?”

Virgil shook his head, “Not really.”

Janus let out an angry hiss, “I’m going to find Logan and give him a piece of my mind. Logical one my ass.”

“No! No! No!” Virgil pleaded desperately. “I can’t go back. Dark put some tracker on me and I’ll kill everyone.”

“Where is it?” Janus asked, walking over to the closet and pulling out a dark purple weighted blanket, draping it over Virgil.

“I don’t know, but he’s using it to get into their base,” Virgil rambled, pulling the blanket closer around him and over his head. “I don’t want to help him. I don’t want to be the bad guy.”

Janus felt uncomfortable and heartbroken, but did his best to hide that. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do, if you don’t mind the fact that your bedroom might have been turned into Remus’s new art studio.”

“Ugh, I’ll sleep on the floor,” Virgil rolled his eyes. “The sooner I get this curse off me the better.”

“Oh trust me,” Janus smiled snakishly. “You obviously impose and your presence is clearly not welcome.”

“Shut up,” Virgil chuckled, punching Janus’s arm. The serpentine Side chuckled a bit, and Virgil looked away hesitantly. “Hey do you guys still have that shitty, awful knock-off Dr. Pepper?”

“What type of household do you think this is, young man?” Janus sounded scandalized as he walked over to the fridge and the whole thing shook when Janus pulled the door handle and shook again when Janus closed it. He did underhand a can of soda to the anxious Side. “What are they even feeding you over there?”

“Fruits and vegetables?” Virgil carefully held the can away from him, and more importantly his blanket, in case Remus had maliciously shaken all the cans. He looked around to see the couch oddly vacant of its usual occupant. “Where’s Agent Orange?”

“Hell if I know,” Janus dismissed, grabbing himself a drink as well. “Hopefully not getting into trouble, he’s been walking off a lot lately.”

“I hope he does get arrested, sometimes he creeps me out,” Virgil admitted. “Means I can crash on his couch without him standing over me and watching me sleep.”

“Just get some rest, Mr. Hero,” Janus told him. “When you wake up we’ll try and see if we can find that tracking spell.”

“What if Dark comes back?” Virgil asked.

“He won’t,” Janus promised, desperately hoping this one didn’t turn out to be the lie. “Sleep, rest, and everything will be better soon.”

It took awhile for Virgil to calm down enough to take a nap. It wasn’t that it was late in the day, but the anxious Side was exhausted and Janus wanted him and calm and rested for they tried anything involving Dark.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Thomas Sanders #Markiplier #Virgil Sanders #Darkiplier #Janus Sanders #the Host #angst #Dark is a villain #Virgil makes a couple bad choices #Virgil has a panic attack #Janus is a bit protective

[robininthelabyrinth]

Unexpected Development 9

Fic: Unexpected Development - Chapter 9  (AO3 Link)

Fandom: The Flash Pairing: Barry Allen/Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Mick Rory/Leonard Snart, Mick Rory/Barry Allen, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Chapter 9 of Unexpected Development

Summary: “Sorry, kid,” Len says, sounding – and likely even being, knowing Len – sincere. “We gotta run, and it looks like you’re coming with us for a bit.”

“Oh crap,” the kid (Barry Allen, he said his name was) says.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What.

What even.

What the hell even just happened?!

First Mick and Barry are standing in the tunnels, talking, realizing what’s going on, then Mick’s telling Barry to go run and disable the rest of the bombs in their section as fast as he can while Mick goes to find Cold, and for Barry to catch up later.

Mick’s emphasis on the whole “as fast as you can” is a little weird, since he says it with a lot of stress and repeats it, like, three times, but Barry doesn’t think much of it – Mick’s probably super worried about his partner in crime and wants to be sure Barry won’t slack off on his part of disarming the bombs. Cold would be upset if they let the city infrastructure crumble just because they got distracted trying to save his life, even Barry has figured out that much about him by now.

Cold is such a bad supervillain.

Or, well, he’s pretty good at supervillaining. He’s just really bad at evil.

Either way, as soon as Mick takes off towards the west side at a run, Barry can speed up to full Flash mode. Sure, he doesn’t have his suit, but that’s not necessarily an impediment when he’s moving faster than people can see.

The rest of the thugs aren’t a problem, either, as it turns out. The second they see lightning, they all shout, “The Flash!” and turn tail to run, dropping whatever bombs they have left.

It’s…kind of weirdly offensive, actually?

Barry’s a superhero. People should not be running scared like he’s going to hurt them or kidnap them or something awful. Not even bad guys!

Maybe Cold’s whole “it’s better for people to know about the local superhero as more than just a legend” thing has some merit to it after all.

...maybe not disappearing supervillains into the Particle Accelerator jail would help, too. Just maybe.

Something to think about.

Barry defuses the bombs pretty quickly – honestly, at this point he’s barely even following Mick’s directions, he’s just ripping them apart with his bare hands, but it still works pretty well – and then turns around and zips after Mick, only slowing down when he’s in the tunnel directly behind him so he can jog the rest of the distance like a normal person.

After all, if Mick saw him arrive in a burst of lightning, he’d probably be a little suspicious.

More than he’s already going to be, given that Barry’s clothing is kinda-maybe-sorta sizzling from how fast he was running and his sneakers’ heels are starting to melt a little bit from the friction.

Yeah. Definitely suspicious.

Which would be bad.

For…reasons that Barry will have to remind himself about later.

After all, if he's discovered, terrible things would clearly happen. Like, he might be blackmailed into helping support their fight for economic justice and against gentrification and there will be barbeque and sexy threesomes –

The secret identity thing is important. Barry has to remind himself of that.

But at least it's clear that Barry’s supervillains are obviously the best.

Oliver’s gonna be so jealous.

Not that Oliver’s going to get told about this whole disaster of a day. Ever.

Barry’s just going to...convince everyone in Central City to take a vow of silence about it. Forever.

Yeah.

That’ll work.

It's not like the media would pay all that much attention to a jailbreak from the middle of the CCPD headquarters –

Oh god, Oliver already knows.

Barry is so doomed.

But first they have to make sure that Cold isn’t.

Barry runs down the rest of the tunnel at his best attempt to mimic a more normal speed, which ends up being a sort of half-jog, half- skip sort of thing because if he actually tries to run he goes straight into lightning mode and wow he really needs to work on that, but one way or another he ends up catching up with Mick.

“Get ‘em all?” Mick asks when he sees him, and Barry nods. “Good.”

Oh, good, he doesn’t question why Barry’s there so fast or why he's skip-jogging instead of running. Secret intact! Barry mentally pats himself on the back. He’s doing great.

That’s when they both hear a blast.

“Bomb?” Barry asks, eyes wide.

“No,” Mick says grimly. “That was more like a truck hitting a wall real fast.”

A truck, yeah. Or a person.

Mr. Banana – it’s actually kinda funny how quickly Barry picked up that moniker, given that he’s called him ‘the man in yellow’ for years on end and Cisco has been campaigning to get ‘Reverse Flash’ in as the guy’s official nickname – is springing his trap for Cold.

For Len.

Damnit, Barry, if you’re going to sleep with them, you really ought to call them by their first names, not their supervillain names.

…okay, apparently at some point in this whole mess, Barry’s subconscious has decided he’s up for it if they are.

Which they wouldn’t be if they knew he was the Flash. Their nemesis. Their archrival. Their superhero enemy.

Well. You know, there's actually a chance that they still would; they did have all that discussion about the Flash being really attractive earlier, so maybe – but no, it would never come up, because Barry wouldn’t be able to tell them or else they’d know his secret identity and –

Wow, this is so horribly inappropriate to be thinking about when Mr. Banana is planning to kill Len.

Barry can barely force himself to stop from flashing forward and yelling “don’t you dare touch my (prospective) boyfriend (out of two) you bastard!” or something stupid like that if Mr. Banana is there.

Uh, boyfriend’s probably a bit premature, and that’s not even the biggest thing wrong with that sentence.

What is wrong with him?

(Answer: his libido. Clearly.)

And that’s when Mick barrels out of a tunnel and onto some rubble, Barry right behind him, and, shit, Mr. Banana is there, vibrating too fast to focus the way Barry can, and Len is on the ground just like Mom had been – oh God no, not again – and the Man in Yellow is saying something that Barry can’t hear through the roaring in his ears, and Barry’s shouting “No!” futilely because even at Flash speeds he won’t be able to get there in time to stop what’s going to happen because he’s just not fast enough and then –

Uh.

And then –

Okay, and then Barry’s brain needs to go reset itself because suddenly the Man in Yellow (Mr. Banana, Barry reminds himself) has a bright red lacey bra hanging on his head and he looks vaguely stupefied about it.

This may be the only instance in which Barry sympathizes with the bastard.

To reiterate: what just happened?!

It’s not the only piece of underwear, either; the next thing that happens is that someone, somewhere, manages to pitch what appears to be a pair of booty shorts composed about 90% of shiny pink sequins right at Mr. Banana’s face, followed by something involving bright blue tassels but not a lot of fabric otherwise.

Superspeed reflexes or no superspeed reflexes, Mr. Banana immediately drops all attempts at murdering Len in favor of batting the increasing shower of various pieces of underwear away from him.

“What in the world..?” he demands, sounding absolutely baffled.

Barry kind of agrees. Not going to lie.

“You know,” Len drawls from where he’s sitting on the ground, “this here’s union territory. You really ought to be careful about who you try to knock off; they take that personally.”

“Union?!” Mr. Banana exclaims. “What union?”

“Oh my god,” Barry says. It can’t be.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mick says flatly, briefly shutting his eyes as if that could make what’s happening stop happening by sheer force of willpower.

But nope, it’s happening.

There they are, appearing on all of the rooftops and in the alleys and all around.

Leonard Snart’s goddamn hooker union.

Barry bursts out laughing.

And not just laughing, full on belly-slapping, howling and hollering, tears streaming down your face laughing.

He can’t help it.

It’s just –

Do you know how hard it is to be scared of someone, even if it is someone who murdered your mother, framed your father, and traumatized you for life, when they have a set of red-white-and-blue flag-themed undies hanging off one of their lightning-shaped ear-spikes?

Also: how did it not occur to Barry how dumb those look? Man, he is seriously going to have to have a talk with Cisco about a few redesigns.

Mr. Banana twists around to stare at where Mick and Barry are standing.

Barry’s making hooting monkey noises again, he just knows it, but he can’t help it.

This is just so dumb.

This is the dumbest thing that has ever happened.

They’re literally just throwing underwear at him and he's paralyzed.

The great Man in Yellow, defeated by shiny stripper underwear.

Obviously the Flash needs to turn in his superhero card because this is clearly a superior crime-fighting method.

Maybe he should consider adopting it.

Oh, oh, and the underwear could have little lightning bolts on it -

Nope, now Barry’s laughing even harder.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mick says again, and his voice is still disbelieving.

Barry glances at him, still trying to keep from strangling himself laughing.

“It’s a pun. That fucker.”

“What?” Barry manages to choke out.

“Mr. Banana,” Mick says, and he looks up at the sky as if asking for help. “You said he calls himself the Reverse Flash, right? He wants to be the enemy of the Flash? And Len stopped him –”

That’s when Barry gets it and he has to cover his face because no. No. Len didn’t.

He did.

“– with a flash mob,” Mick finishes.

“I really hate the fact that I’m gonna sleep with that guy,” Barry says, aiming for a meme-appropriate despondent tone but probably not making it anywhere near because he’s still giggling.

“I feel you,” Mick groans. “What’s worse, I actually found that funny.”

Yeah, Barry too.

“I’m gonna suggest you get the hell off our turf,” one of the ladies (Barry is not calling her a hooker!) says.

“How did he even get all of you to come here?” Mr. Banana asks, absolutely bemused.

Someone sling-shots something sparkly at him. Barry’s not even going to try to figure out what it is, but there’s even less fabric involved than the thing with the tassels.

“Standing up for each other’s what a union does,” the lead lady says smugly. “Time for you to go now.”

She’s got something in her hands.

A phone, actually.

“And how do you plan to make me?” Mr. Banana snaps. He sounds angry.

No, he sounds pissed off, and that’s almost enough to get Barry to stop sniggering uncontrollably, because he knows how dangerous he is, but every time Mr. Banana spins around, the flag-colored underwear flaps around behind him like a little waving flag and yep, there Barry goes losing it again.

(Mr. Banana keeps glaring at him about it, too, which for some reason keeps setting Barry off again. He looks so offended, even through the blurring.)

“Clearly you don’t understand. I could kill each and every one of you in the time it takes to blink,” Mr. Banana continues, glaring at all of them. “And there’s nothing any of you can do to stop me! There’s no weapon fast enough!”

“Think the Flash might object to that,” Mick says.

“He’s not fast enough to stop me,” Mr. Banana scoffs.

Barry bites his lip, his laughter fading.

That’s true. He’s not fast enough. It’s on him, because if only he were faster –

No, wait. Len had been very clear, earlier, that the Flash’s weakness (Barry’s weakness) was that he kept playing into people’s expectations. He’d even proposed that Mr. Banana was setting up this whole trap to make Barry have to run faster.

It wasn’t that, of course, the aim of the trap was Len, not Barry.

…wasn’t it?

Mr. Banana could’ve killed Len a dozen times over before Mick and Barry got there, given how slow they were moving, but he didn’t.

Think, Barry, think.

He wants you to run faster. That’s why he taunted you – he wanted you set up the trap with the bait so that he could escape. He was playing you then, he’s probably playing you now.

He’s jealous of Len being your rival, just like Mick deduced.

So why not kill Len efficiently? Unless -

Mr. Banana wants Barry to see this.

But – why?

“You might be able to kill us,” the lead lady says with a sniff. “But we’ve got you on camera – on a lot of cameras, now – and we’re going to bring down the whole of Central City on your head.”

“Central City,” Len adds helpfully. “Not the Flash. Hell, there’s that army base outta town that’s been real into speedsters recently; I bet they’d be into helping out. And all the Flash’ll have to do is sit back and wait. Wouldn’t even have to take the time to fight you himself.”

Mr. Banana looks even more pissed off by that.

“You’re not gonna be much of a rival for the Flash,” Mick observes, “if he never even bothers to fight you.”

“Yeah,” Barry says. Oddly, Mr. Banana seems to be avoiding looking in Barry’s direction now that he’s no longer laughing, even though Barry knows he knows who Barry is. Almost like he doesn’t want Barry to look at his face too hard or something. “Not much of a rival at all.”

Mr. Banana looks super angry.

Mick is definitely right about him.

“The Flash will come out to fight me,” he boasts, but he’s looking around at all those cameras, scowling. Seems pretty clear he doesn’t want this to be made public yet.

Barry figures out what he’s going to do a second before he does it, but there’s no time to stop him and no way to stop him, not without speeding up himself and revealing himself in front of all those people – and he can’t do that, not with Joe and Iris and everyone depending on him –

He hesitates.

Mr. Banana flashes off, zipping around the square and grabbing all the phones. Barry’s the only one who can see fast enough to see what he’s doing, but it’s okay: he doesn’t hurt anyone, just grabs the phones. His restraint is weird, but Barry’s not going to complain, not when people aren’t dying.

But by the time he’s back in his original position, smirking, phones gathered in his arms, Len’s gotten his gun back and Mr. Banana steps right into a beam of frozen light that ices over his feet up to the knees.

Heh.

“If Len smashes him to pieces after freezing him, would that make him a Banana Split?” Barry loudly asks Mick, who groans.

“You’re goddamn perfect for him and he’s going to be so disappointed if you turn down his little offer,” Mick grumbles back even as he leads the way forward, gun pointed at Mr. Banana. “You know that, right?”

“He’s not going to say no,” Len calls back, grinning like a maniac; just as Barry had intended, he’d heard Barry’s question.

Mr. Banana is making a disgusted face, so he clearly also heard what Barry said.

Maybe he’s judging himself for setting himself up as Barry’s nemesis now or something.

Clearly, Len and Mick are a better class of villain.

So there, Mr. Banana!

But Mr. Banana kicks his way out of Len’s ice pretty easily – how does he know how to do all of this stuff?! – and stepping forward.

“Your stupid puns aren’t going to save you,” he sneers, ignoring Barry entirely. “And neither is your ice.”

“Cold,” Len says, sounding annoyed. “Not ice.”

Mr. Banana rolls his eyes. “Your cold won’t save you.”

“How about gold then?” a female voice drawls from behind him.

Barry looks.

There’s a vaguely familiar-looking woman there, brunette, in a slick leather jacket with gold chains, and she’s pointing what is a very recognizably Cisco Ramon created gun, colored dark yellow this time, right at Mr. Banana.

And, much to his surprise, Cisco and Caitlin are standing right next to her.

Well, to be fair, they’re slightly behind her, but that’s fair. She’s the one holding the gun.

She looks really familiar for some reason, but Barry’s pretty sure he’s never seen her before.

“Hey, sis,” Len says, sounding pleased.

Oh.

That’s why.

Dear god, there’s two of them.

#coldflashwave #dccoldwave #coldflash #flashwave #leonard snart #barry allen #mick rory #my fic #unexpected development #yes after all this time #I hope people still like it