#youd never believe the cruelty a flock homophobic of 10 year olds are capable of

[vampyre-kin]

I low key kind of wish I'd been raised more religiously? Like I have such a weird fucking relationship with Christianity but at the same time I only have comparatively mild religious trauma, I only consistently went to church for about two years and the most my mom ever asked me to do was pray during hard time. I guess I just wish I had something more significant to connect all these feelings to. This weird guilt, the even weirder yearning to be more involved. Idk. It's all just weird and I don't like it.

#tw: mini trauma dumping in the tags after the basics -> #religious trauma #religion #christianity #the only real religious related trauma i have revolves around my queerness #in 4th grade a boy outed me as bi by reading a page of my diary to the whole class #i got beat up and called slurs regularly‚ they said id burn in hell and spread disgusting rumors about me #youd never believe the cruelty a flock homophobic of 10 year olds are capable of #and when i was 12 i went to church and one day i asked the pastors wife a simple question #“if god is all forgiving then why dont gay people go to heaven?” #“because god may forgive you but he will never accept you.” was her response #i know there are good christians and good churches who truly believe in loving thy neighbor and acting in kindness #but they seem so horribly rare