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kettlewrites · 6 years

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hi! i just wanna say i can relate to main character's bff issues in ur why i like u au ; i like your words "losing a lover is nothing like losing a friend" the only difference is the main character has jaemin&others to help her heal while i dont i just bottled it up myself, i do share my concerns with other but they'll just cheer me up that one time out of symphathy&to make it worse i have complicated family issues to the point i feel like killing myself.. but my point is au like urs make my day

;;; oh my god im so sorry honey that you relate to it and im sorry that you’re suffering alone :( if you need anything or just want to talk, i’m always here like always. it won’t bother me how many times you want to talk because i love listening and helping. please don’t keep things bottled, from my experience it’s not healthy like at all. it makes your mentality toxic and it’s just not good for you :( another thing i want to say is even though losing a friend hurts like hell, if they were toxic it’s a good thing. no matter what happens or how much it hurts, you don’t deserve the toxicity in your life;; pls take care of yourself,, i love you;; talk to me if you want to vent i’ll be a shoulder you can lean on i promise💘💘💘

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kettlewrites · 6 years

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thanks for your sweet words ;; sometimes i just cope by crying myself to sleep & when i feel a little bit better i'd cheer myself by reading some fics on tumblr especially social media au cs they're usually funny!! you what makes me sad is its my senior year&ive been dealing with lots of friendship issue, both that i really treasure but ended up being betrayed. so this year i end up closing myself&build walls bcs im afraid of opening up. im always alone at school & its too late to find a clique

♡

[cont. below]

so yeah i thought my previous failed friendship could last bcs i genuinely like the momentum of our friendship, its one of kind but then there's always to dislike about me and they always end up making false rumors about me, others will believe them bcs they were close to me. i got afraid to be close with someone&i'd just do my own thing. its sad bcs during senior year i should have fun with my clique and create memories i can look back when i grow up, but its too late i guess everybody knows everybody already, they have their own cliques & tons of inside jokes that i cant relate if i ever force myself to join one so i just decide to go through this year independantly bcs this is my last year and i wont be seeing their faces anymore. i used to be vvvv cheerful & carefree back then before the issues but after all the drama i got trust issue and find myself to be very cautious in everything i do? like there's no freedom and im always afraid of getting hurt it sucks as if friendship issues arent enough to abuse my emotions, life gave me a problematic family. its complicated. my parents are divorce but both of them keep finding issues to argue? the thing is they argue by themselves only its okay, but they ALWAYS involve their children. and it makes me suffer emotionally. I get scared to talk about my probs to them bcs when they are on mood swings they'd always bring back my insecurities&probs to win the argument. i trusted them but all they do is hurt me im sorry for bothering you!!! you did say to lean on you so i made myself comfy in your ask ;; last night i got into a pretty bad argument with my fam so i cried myself to sleep and i wike up at 3am & thats when i found your au!! I read tons of au last night every single one made my night/day(??) it helps me to lift up the burden i had from last night. Thank you for making great aus 💛 even after the argument, nobody asked me if i was alright. im 17 fgs & this been going on since i was 11

:( im so sorry that you are going through all of this honey, it’s really sad to also know you didn’t have anyone to lean on. i understand how it feels to be outcasted and holding back from being your true self. in my three (almost four) years of high school i have lost and gained friends. mainly this year kicked my ass. i had gained new friends and lost friends who were really close to me as i realized how toxic they were (i hadn’t known prior to this year i believed that it was normal) and i know you think you should be making new memories with cliques, but believe me don’t force something that is not there. you’ll make memories no doubt, but don’t try to force it with people because you’ll turn back and remember how miserable you probably were for trying to force it :( fun memories should be raw and candid, that’s why they’re fun memories. and i understand, the false rumors,, just please don’t listen to them you know they aren’t true so why be bothered by them! i know it’s easier said than done, but please know it’ll benefit you in the future. plus it’s your senior year, you won’t ever see these people ever again. you’ll most definitely find a new group of friends in college,, plus to keep friendships that lasted in hs is kind of impractical and most of the time don’t always work out if im being honest. everyone goes their separate ways, no matter how hard you try to keep yourselves together. that’s just life :( and i know trust issues hold you back but know that the right people are on their way to break down your walls and hold you close. you deserve that, everyone does :( and with your parents, i can understand that too,,, my parents are divorced too and for half of my life they spent their times arguing and fighting over me which really messed with my mentality. (they’ve stopped now as they both have their own new separate families) just know that you’ll be out of this mess soon! :( just remember to take care of yourself and have fun in this life,, you only have one so why not live it to your fullest. i know stuff is holding you back, but you’ll never get what you want if you let it so as hard as it is just break your own walls down and let yourself live freely like you used to. it will be so much better for your mentality and health honey :( please stay healthy and safe. i love you so much, if you want to talk to me ever again feel free to message me or just make yourself comfy in my ask box again :’) i’m always here for you!!

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