#yunhwasmut

[seonghwazia]

ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜱᴘᴀᴄᴇ (ᴊ.ʏʜ + ᴘ.ꜱʜ) *ੈ✩‧₊˚

After briefly dating his best friend Yunho, Seonghwa asks for a little space. ⋆song recommendation ⋮ a little space - pentatonix ft. San, Yunho, and Jongho ⋆word count ⋮ 9.3k+

⋆Pairings ⋮ Heartbroken!Seonghwa x BestFriend!Yunho ⋆Genre ⋮ Smut/Angst/Romance/Love ⋆Rating ⋮ 18+ (minors DNI) (Warnings after the break.)

Warnings | explicit smut, explicit language, heavy angst, drama, a sad yunho, a sad seonghwa, , oral (receiving + giving), unprotected sex without it being talked about, cream pie, pet names such as ‘baby’ and ‘pretty’.

It was a dreary day, the color of the city seemingly unsaturated in color compared to how it usually looked as thick, gray clouds billowed across the sky. Not only was the black sky promising rain, it was threatening rain: endless and merciless. There was something about rain in the city that didn’t quite compare to rain out in the countryside; no wind whistling through the trees, creating a natural song without structure or reason; the fresh, cool feeling replaced with a bone-chilling coldness; and lacking in the scent of petrichor, Seonghwa’s favorite part of rain. Over all, the city was overcast with doom and gloom, a picturesque moment that matched perfectly with what was going on in Seonghwa's heart.

This weather had approached rather abruptly, as there were earlier promises of a sunny forecast for the rest of the day. Seonghw knew better, it was when the summer season was meeting autumn, which would bring along random rainfalls that seemed to overwhelm the day with what felt like emptiness. At least - today it did. He didn’t think to bring a jacket, or even an umbrella, and the heat from the cafe was barely enough to keep his body warm as he shivered away. Taking another sip of his hot chocolate, using the warmth of the mug on his hands, it wasn’t enough. 

None of this was enough. Suddenly, Seonghwa felt something warm wrap around his shoulders, encasing his entire upper body, and he looked down to see the fabric of a very familiar sweater, which held a very familiar scent. A presence loomed closely to the side of his face, a warm breath that smelled like spearmint dancing across his cheek in a pleasant way; something that should make his heart race, but instead making it fall through his stomach.This was a conversation that he wasn’t ready to have, but knew it needed to happen soon, because this wasn’t fair to the other man. He had to be honest about how he was feeling, and what he needed. Long arms encased him between the bar he sat at that lined against the window of Seonghwa's favorite coffee shop, hands bracing against the side as he felt a gentle set of lips against his cheek that had formed into a smile. “I should start texting you the weather forecast in the morning from now on, hmm?” The joke made him smile. As long as he’s known this man - which had been since childhood - he’s been the one to rescue Seonghwa countless times with an umbrella or a rain jacket. He’d done so much for Seonghwa in his time as his best friend, but now he wanted something from Seonghwa. 

He wanted more.

And Seonghwa couldn’t give it to him. 

But fuck, did he try.

Taking the seat next to Seonghwa, he leaned his elbow against the bar top, his head against his hand as he looked at Seonghwa with that smile. One he had never considered more than friendly not too long ago, having been completely oblivious towards his feelings. Seonghwa looked back at him with a somber expression, and his smile dropped, almost as if he knew what would be coming out of his mouth. Reaching out, Seonghwa grabbed onto his hand, and his jaw clenched in response. “Yunho…” the name sounded apologetic as he said it, and Yunho looked away from him, out through the window. His fingers twitched in Seonghwa’s hand, but he didn’t pull his hand from the grasp, but instead just lazily left it where it was, not bothering to hold Seonghwa’s hand back. He knew where this conversation was headed, and if he were being honest with himself, he knew it was only a matter of time before it happened. Not only that, but he knew he was partially to blame. 

“Just say it, Seonghwa,” For the first time in Seonghwa’s friendship with him, Yunho’s expression was unreadable to him. Nothing about his handsome face betrayed his thoughts or feelings, keeping them tightly sealed. Seonghwa’s frown deepened. He had hoped to procrastinate with some small talk, and at least get to hear Yunho’s laugh before breaking this news to him, but Yunho could read him too easily. Truthfully, there was probably nobody else that could read him better than Yunho could. 

Letting out a sigh, Seonghwa’s gaze followed his for a moment, settling on one of the storefronts across the street as pedestrians continuously passed by with colorful umbrellas. He turned back to Yunho to find him studying his face, his deep brown orbs full of sadness. 

“It’s just, I-” it’s not that Seonghwa  didn’t know what to say, the words just wouldn’t leave his mouth. Almost as if his voice was trying to do him a favor by not working. 

“You’re still in love with him,” Yunho said finally, saying the words that Seonghwa couldn’t produce. He just sat there, slack jawed, staring at him with apologetic eyes and no excuses. Most importantly, no denials. His eyes dropped as he finally reciprocated the way Seonghwa held his hand. “It’s okay, Seonghwa, I’m not mad.” 

“No,” Seonghwa agreed, knowing the tone of his voice well. Just as Yunho had known him better than anybody else, Seonghwa also knew him better than anybody else. Being attached at the hip to somebody for that long most certainly ends that way. “You’re hurt.”

Yunho didn’t respond, he just gazed at Seonghwa as if he was wondering what to say next. This had been new territory, usually he was the one who always knew what to say. He always had the answers. After a long, dreadful moment of silence, he eventually clicked his tongue, his hand still absentmindedly holding Seonghwa’s. Truthfully, he had forgotten he’d been holding it - holding his hand felt as natural to Yunho as having a hand. 

“I guess it can’t be helped,” he eventually said, breaking the silence. A sheepish grin formed on his face, though it didn’t reach his eyes. Everything on his face looked hurt, with only feeble attempts to mask it. “This is my fault, I shouldn’t have confessed to you that soon.” He did feel responsible, having immediately regretted confessing that he’d been in love with Seonghwa after Seonghwa’s long-time boyfriend had broken up with him over text one day. 

It had just slipped out of his mouth, his heart breaking in half as he watched Seonghwa sob over a man that didn’t even deserve him. All that time, he stood on the sidelines, forcing a smile on his face as he watched that man neglect Seonghwa and treat him poorly. Yunho had years to sit and stew about how he could treat him so much better, that the first opportunity that he had gotten, he would scoop Seonghwa up and dote on him. Most importantly, he would show him what it was like to be loved. That’s exactly what Yunho did.

But it was all too soon, and Seonhgwa hadn’t given himself time to truly grieve his last relationship. He found himself thinking a lot about the other man, even when he was with Yunho. About his plush lips against his; how his arms enveloped him perfectly at night, probably the most important factor in his entire night time routine; and despite what Yunho thought, he was always there for Seonghwa when he needed him. 

So the break-up text came as a wild shock, when he had thought they were about to move in together. 

“Seonghwa,” Yunho breathed out, bringing Seonghwa’s attention back to him, that unreadable expression still on the other man’s face.

“Yeah?” Seonghwa questioned, almost as if he was in a daze trying to understand what Yunho was thinking. Would this be the moment that Seonghwa’s best friend became a stranger to him? Seonghwa’s favorite book that was suddenly written in a language he didn’t understand? 

“Where do we stand?” Yunho’s question came as a surprise to Seonghwa; he had been so worried that after this conversation, his friendship with Yunho would have been ruined. As it turns out, he had the same worry right now, not wanting Seonghwa to suddenly vanish from his life. Yunho had promised Seonghwa love, and comfort, and happiness in a moment he was most vulnerable when what he needed the most was his friendship, and he hated himself for it. It felt like nothing less than taking advantage of him. 

“Yunho, you’ll always be my best friend,” he said softly, squeezing Yunho’s hand as he held it. After all of the fights they have had over the span of their friendship, and everything they had been through, Seonghwa knew that they could get through anything together, “I just need a little space.” 

Letting go of Yunho’s hand, Seonghwa took Yunho’s sweater from off of his shoulders and handed it back to Yunho, but he had pushed it back. “Keep it, I know it’s your favorite sweater.” Seonghwa shook his head, pushing it back his way despite being grateful for the offer. 

“Thank you, but I really just need to be able to clear my head and having this is not going to help,” Seonghwa knew himself well enough to know that he would be wearing this around his apartment just for emotional comfort. Pursing his lips, Yunho had accepted it back, keeping it folded up in his lap as his gaze returned back to the storefront across the street. There was nothing special about that storefront, but if he looked at Seonghwa right now, he might start tearing up.

He was already feeling like he wasn’t enough for Seonghwa, he didn’t want the other to see him as weak, too.

“So I guess that’s it then? Unless there was anything else?” He questioned, still not looking at Seonghwa, who had begun chewing on the inside of his cheek to the point where it felt raw, wishing things had never gotten to this point. 

“I guess,” Seonghwa’s voice came out weak, just barely above a whisper as his eyes were trained on Yunho. 

“Okay, then. Get home safe,” Though Seonghwa had been looking at him, his eyes didn’t follow Yunho as he got out of his seat, or even when he re-wrapped the sweater around Seonghwa’s shoulders before leaving the cafe. Grabbing both sides of the sweater, he pulled it more tightly around himself, shutting his eyes tightly to try and hold back the tears while hoping he hadn’t just lost his best friend for good. 

The sweater may have protected him from the cold, but it most certainly did not protect him from the emptiness. 

| wooyoungie [5:07pm] | | Seonghwa-ssi, come out tonight | | wooyoungie [5:08pm] | | we miss u | | Seonghwa [5:23pm] | | who is ‘we’?

Seonghwa hadn’t intended it, but over the last month he had become extremely introverted, even from his friends. After the last conversation he had with Yunho, Seonghwa really tried to focus on himself, and healing, but something just wasn’t clicking. Nothing made him happy anymore. His appetite wasn’t even present, and Seonghwa found himself in a seemingly endless cycle of work and sleep. Now it was the weekend as he lounged around his living room in comfy clothes and the sweater Yunho had left him with. It didn’t even smell like him anymore, so it had begun to lose its comforting touch. 

Yunho had made efforts to reach out to Seonghwa since then, however sparse, likely because Seonghwa had told him what he needed was space. Yunho would send him text messages that he hoped he was doing okay, and that he missed him. Or he would send memes that would make Seonghwa laugh, but then make him cry to the point where he wondered why he was even ignoring him at this point. Perhaps he knew it would hurt to be at Yunho’s side knowing he couldn’t be with Yunho the way that he wanted Seonghwa to be. 

In all honesty, Yunho didn’t just miss  Seonghwa, but his friendship. He would have been more than happy to be able to just spend the day on his couch watching b-rated horror movies and eating all of the food in his kitchen. However, Seonghwa still got it in his head that there was no way to be with Yunho without being with Yunho. 

Maybe that should have been his first hint. 

| wooyoungie [5:24pm] | | me and mingi | | wooyoungie [5:24pm] | | shooting pool at the bar | | wooyoungie [5:25pm] | | you better show up >:(

Seonghwa thought about it, heavily leaning towards not going. In fact, he sat further back on his couch and flipped through Netflix to find a movie to take his mind off of how he was feeling. As he flipped through everything that was available, all Seonghwa could think about were the endless shows and movies he’d either seen with his ex or Yunho, and it wasn’t helping ease this gutless feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. 

God, Seonghwa would do anything to escape this feeling, right now. So after a shower, and pulling on a simple outfit, Seonghwa slipped back into Yunho’s sweater, which at this point, he’d  wondered if it was truly Yunho anymore or if Seonghwa had acquired it permanently. Somehow, the latter seemed to connote that he wouldn’t see Yunho again, and that their friendship couldn’t be repaired, so he liked the idea that this was still Yunho’s sweatshirt much more. Seonghwa opted on walking to the bar, which really wasn’t too far from his apartment - plus, it was nice to get out of that small stuffy place and get some air. After some time, Seonghwa walked into the bar, which had been more packed than it usually was on a Saturday night. It took him a few moments to spot Mingi and Wooyoung tucked away in a booth, and Seonghwa decided to stop by and see them before going up to the bar and literally compete in a WWE wrestling match just to get a drink. “Seonghwa! You came!” Wooyoung leaped out of the booth the moment he saw Seonghwa, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, tightly holding Seonghwa into his chest. His voice dropped lower as he spoke softly into his ear, “I’m so sorry, I had no idea Mingi would invite him.” 

“Huh?” Placing his hands on Wooyoung’s chest, Seonghwa gently put some space between them as he looked at him and turned around to follow his gaze. Yunho stood there, two pints of beer occupying both of his hands as he stared at Seonghwa as if he were a deer caught in headlights. Yunho studied his face for a moment before they trailed down to the sweater Seonghwa was wearing. Seonghwa had absolutely no idea how fast it made Yunho’s heart beat, or how much he wanted to just fold Seonghwa into his arms and never let him go. 

Seonghwa had tried not to think about it, but not seeing Seonghwa, or hearing from him for the past month has taken a huge toll on Yunho as well.

Wooyoung placed his hands on both his shoulders from behind him and leaned into his ear, the only proof that time wasn’t frozen, “Why don’t you go talk to him? It didn’t work out, so what? You guys have been friends for years.” 

“It’s not that simple,” Seonghwa mumbled, wishing he could explain why it wasn’t simple. He was still trying to figure it out on his own as it was. 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung said, a slightly irritated tone unlying his voice, “Because anything that has any value is simple, Seonghwa.” He let out a sigh before walking over to Yunho and grabbing one of the pints from his hand. “Come on,” now Mingi’s voice was behind Seonghwa as he slung an arm over his shoulder, “Let’s go get you a drink. And, uh, sorry if inviting him made things awkward. Wooyoung made it sound like you probably wouldn’t come.” Mingi started guiding Seonghwa towards the bar, and he hoped that Mingi’s slightly larger frame would make it easier to get a drink. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, he’s your friend, too. I’m not going to ask you guys to choose sides,” Seonghwa explained, using the term for lack of a better phrase. 

“But…does it have to be like that? Two different sides?” Mingi questioned, helping Seonghwa slither through the bodies piled up at the bar and getting them both  immediate access to it. 

“I’m just trying to sort my feelings out without hurting him more than I have,” Seonghwa explained. In his mind, he was truly doing the better thing by keeping him at an arm’s distance while he figured himself out. He just hadn’t expected it to take this long. 

“I understand that, but what you’re doing to him now is hurting him,” Mingi objected, holding his hand up for the bartender in order to catch his attention. This wasn’t anything Wooyoung hadn’t already explained to Seonghwa, but Seonghwa just didn’t seem to grasp onto that fact. “You know he is more than willing to put his feelings aside to be there as your best friend.” 

Of course he is, Seonghwa thought. According to him, that’s what he’s been doing since both of them were teenagers.

“I know,” Seonghwa said simply, not sure he wanted to continue having this conversation. After all, this was supposed to be a fun night out with his friends. But damn, if he didn’t miss his best friend. 

Seonghwa ended up getting a couple of bottles of Soju for the table, walking back with Mingi as he explained how school had been going for him. He’d just taken his Nursing Entrance exam, and was waiting on his results, and Seonghwa let him know that he was sure Mingi would get accepted into his Program of choice. 

Once Seonghwa and Mingi got back to the booth, it had just been Yunho sitting there, and he looked around to find Wooyoung at one of the pool tables, flirting with a small group of women as he held two pool sticks in his hand. Taking a second to look over in his direction, Seonghwa saw Wooyoung raise an eyebrow towards Mingi before gesturing towards the pool table. Seonghwa looked back up at Mingi with his lips slightly parted, suddenly frantic that he’d be left here alone with the one man he’s been trying to avoid. 

“Mingi,” Seonghwa whisper-yelled to his friend who was totally betraying him at the moment. 

“You’ll be fine, Seonghwa,” Mingi assured Seonghwa with a smile, “Just talk to him.” Picking up his half-empty drink from the table, he clanked it against one of his unopened Soju bottles and walked off towards where Wooyoung was, leaving Seonghwa here alone with his estranged best friend. Without meeting Yunho’s eyes, Seonghwa slipped into the booth across from him, awkwardly placing his bottles on the table and opening one. Not bothering with pouring it, he drank it straight from the bottle. 

“Seonghwa, you’re going to make yourself sick,” Yunho protested immediately, reaching across the table to grab Seonghwa’s drink from his hand, and softly place it down on the table in front of him. “You don’t have to do that just because I’m here.”

Yunho was truly too good for Seonghwa. 

“Don’t,” Seonghwa snapped, though his voice was soft. Yunho swallowed before retracting his hand, looking at Seonghwa with sad eyes. Seonghwa immediately wanted to reach out to him and hold onto his hand, and apologize to him for being bitchy, but Seonghwa had felt so overwhelmed by suddenly having to face Yunho that it was hard for him to take control of his words. 

Yunho swallowed thickly in response, not sure what to say as he looked at Seonghwa with wide eyes. Seonghwa had never talked to him in that way before, even through all the fights you’ve had together, this sounded…bitter. As if Seonghwa wanted nothing to do with him. Yunho could handle a lot, but he didn’t think he could handle that.

Despite his love for Seonghwa, that didn’t mean Yunho would let Seonghwa talk to him out of spite, knowing that all he’s done is try to be there for him. Maybe it was because he was still trying to recover from his own broken heart, but that tone Seonghwa had used on him had not only struck a nerve, but it crossed a boundary. “Fine, Seonghwa,” Yunho said, his jaw clenching, “I’m done. I’m so done with this.” He didn’t say anything else as he got up from the table, leaving his barely touched drink on the table as he made a hasty exit. As Seonghwa watched him leave, his eyes drifted over to Wooyoung and Mingi, they looked over at him with disappointment. Turning in his seat, his head fell into his hands - how did he fuck this night up so bad? “What happened?” Wooyoung asked, the leather of the booth across from Seonghwa groaning as he sat in it. Seonghwa looked up at him, tears threatening to spill over as he did. 

“I think coming out was a bad idea,” Seonghwa sniffled, and Wooyoung reached across the table to hold onto his hand. “I don’t know why I’m reacting this way Woo. It’s like I’m empty and angry all the time.” Using the sleeve of Yunho’s sweater, Seonghwa wiped away his tears as friend gives him a sad frown. “I’m sorry for ruining tonight.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Wooyoung reassured while resting his elbow on the table. “You could always stay and have fun, but if you think that really shook you up, maybe going home and getting some rest may be better.” Seonghwa’s friend felt guilty for how things had played out tonight after he’d been the one to invite him, and even worse, Wooyoung didn’t know the answers to his problems right now. 

Seonghwa had to agree with him, wanting to just go home and curl up into a ball, and cry his eyes out.

“Y-yeah, I think I’ll go home and maybe we can try again next week?” Seonghwa suggested feebly, at this point not sure why his friends would want to hang out with him anyways. 

“Of course,” Wooyoung gave Seonghwa a bright smile, that helped a little to reassure him that he wasn't the absolute worst, “I’ll book you an uber, okay? I don’t want you walking home alone this late.” “I can take you home,” Seonghwa knew the voice that offered instantly, before he even looked up, and it caused goosebumps to run up his back and down his arms. The effect had been so strong that Seonghwa could even feel pressure building behind his ears, and given his already emotional state, he had to bite back tears.

“I can book the uber,” Wooyoung repeated, his eyes not leaving Seonghwa’s. Seonghwa held his gaze for a moment before looking up at Hongjoong and giving him a weak smile; this had been the first time that Seonghwa had seen him since he’d broken up with him. Since then, he hadn’t answered his texts, his calls, or even his door, and Seonghwa wasn't crazy enough to try and follow him around. 

“What are you doing here?” Seonghwa questioned, wondering why Hongjoong was at the bar he knew Seonghwa frequented with his friends. When Seonghwa came in, he definitely hadn’t seen him, and unless he had been tucked away in a corner or something, Seonghwa had doubted that Hongjoong  had been here first. Seonghwa hated how he wondered if the other man was here with anybody else, how he wondered if he had already moved on from Seonghwa when he was still struggling to do so. 

Hongjoong’s eyes flickered over to Wooyoung before returning to Seonghwa, almost in an uncomfortable way, before his hand reached up to scratch the back of his neck. “I was looking for you. You weren’t home or answering my calls, so I figured you might be here or at Yunho’s,” he explained, and he didn’’t know which feeling was more overpowering; the shock of Hongjoong coming to look for him after a month of radio silence, or how Yunho’s name felt like he was getting punched in the chest. 

Somehow, it was the latter that affected Seonghwa the most. 

Looking down, Seonghwa turned his phone over so that the screen was facing up, and there they were: missed call after missed call, sprinkled with texts, all from Hongjoong. But what had caught his attention immediately was a missed call from Yunho, placed just a couple of minutes ago, along with a new voicemail.

Seonghwa hadn’t processed it at the moment, but that meant Yunho had called him after he left. 

All Seonghwa could think about was what could be in that voicemail. 

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa looked at him, a quizzical look on his face as he looked up at Hongjoong with wide eyes and parted lips. Seonghwa hadn’t realized it at that moment, but as he looked up at him, he didn’t feel those butterflies he had gotten around him for all of those years. Still slightly in shock of what was happening, he’d mistaken that feeling for excitement. 

“Yeah?” Seonghwa questioned aloud. 

“Can I walk you home?” He asked again, his eyes staring straight into his, and somehow Seonghwa knew Wooyoung was looking at him with concern. Seonghwa knew that perhaps this wasn’t the best idea - what Hongjoong had  done felt unforgivable and tonight he had sought Seonghwa out, so he knew there was some intention there. Maybe, just maybe, he had come to offer an explanation, which is what Seonghwa wanted more than anything. 

It had been immensely hard for Seonghwa to process this whole ordeal without even knowing why Hongjoong had broken up with him in the first place.

“Sure,” Seonghwa said, nodding slowly. 

Wooyoung had reached across the table, placing a hand on his shoulder, finally capturing his attention. “Text me when you get home. Please.” Wooyoung was an honorary member, if not the president of the ‘I don’t like Hongjoong’ club, if that hadn’t been obvious enough. 

“I promise,” Seonghwa gave him a small smile as he placed his hand over Wooyoung’s, giving it a soft squeeze. “I’ll be going straight home, Woo,” Seonghwa said before looking back up at Hongjoong with a pointed expression. 

“Straight home,” Hongjoong promised. 

With a final goodbye to Wooyoung and Mingi, Seonghwa followed Hongjoong out of the bar, heading in the direction of his home. Although they’d been walking quite close together, arms bumping into each other, Seonghwa couldn’t get his mind off of the voicemail. 

But before Seonghwa could face that, he had to face this.

“So…” Seonghwa started, breaking up the awkward silence that lingered between the both of them, “Is this the part where I get an explanation, or is this the part where you ask me to forget that the past month happened?” Seonghwa couldn’t help but wonder aloud. He didn’t want to beat around the bush or exchange casualties, he just wanted to get this conversation over with. 

“Would I be the worst person in the world if I asked for the second option?” Hongjoong questioned quietly, as if he knew that was the wrong answer. Seonghwa stopped abruptly to look over at him, and he quickly mirrored his actions, earning a scoff from Seonghwa before he walked away. He was fast, capturing his wrist in his hand and pulling Seonghwa over to him. Seonghwa stopped just short of his chest and looked at him.

“We were talking about taking huge steps, Joong, and one day you just disappeared from my life!” Seonghwa countered, as if it were obvious that he couldn’t just forgive and forget. 

“I know!” He shot back instantly, “You wanted to move in together and I got cold feet!” 

Seonghwa pursed his lips together at his answer, most definitely catching on to his wording. 

“Oh, I see. It was just me, then,” Seonghwa let out a laugh void of humor as he turned back around and began walking back home. He was done with this conversation, there was nothing further for him here. 

“That’s not what I meant!” Hongjoong called out, running after him. 

“But that’s what you meant,” Seonghwa huffed, his footsteps not faltering as he stormed off just out of his reach. 

“Well at the time, yes! You kept bringing it up and honestly, no, I didn’t think I was ready,” he further tried to explain himself, his breathing becoming heavier as he tried to keep up with Seonghwa. “But after this past month, I realized that it’s exactly what I want. I need you, Seonghwa.” 

Seonghwa stopped dead in his tracks before he whipped around, seething with anger. 

“It took you a month to realize you wanted to be with me, Hongjoong, and that’s where we are different because it took me a whole month to realize I don’t want you,” Seonghwa hissed, his hands clenching up in fists. 

Then Seonghwa’s eyes grew wide and his fingers became slack as the realization hit him like a brick wall, his stomach falling and slamming against the ground as if it were dead weight. 

“You what?” Hongjoong’s voice was barely audible, his eyebrows cinching together as he looked at Seonghwa with a painful expression. “You said you loved me.” 

“You said it, too,” Seonghwa reminded him, “and then you broke up with me through a text.” 

“I was wrong,” Hongjoong’s voice didn’t get louder. He didn’t argue back. The softness of his tone had almost broken Seonghwa, in fact, yet something else weighed much heavier on his mind. 

“And now you are late,” Seonghwa responded, his tone matching Hongjoong’s. “Let’s end this for good and stop seeing each other.” Seonghwa wasn't suggesting this of him, he was telling him that he was done.

“And if I say I’m not ready to let you go?” Hongjoong reached out for Seonghwa, but Seonghwa took a step back and shook his head. He had cried enough tears over this man. Above all else, he destroyed the safety he felt with him. Even the loneliness would be better than the uncertainty he’d end up feeling with Hongjoong. 

“Please, Hongjoong…” Seonghwa kept taking steps backwards, distancing himself from the other man, “Please just let me go.” Seonghwa took a few more steps, creating even more distance, and when he was sure that Hongjoong  wasn’t going to follow after him, Seonghwa turned around and continued walking to his apartment. Fleeting thoughts coursed through him, and his mind ended up on that voicemail again. 

Not knowing the contents of it had Seonghwa nervous to listen, but the longer he held off, the more it would eat at him. Not being one for long, quiet walks, he had opted to listen to it on the rest of his walk home. He was almost there, anyways, the building not too far in the distance. 

With a shaky breath, Seonghwa pressed play, and put it to his ear. 

“Seonghwa,” Yunho started off. His voice was deep, but Seonghwa could also tell it was uncertain, probably unsure of himself for calling, or unsure of what to say. “What can I say, Seonghwa? I guess tonight I’m not as strong as I usually try to be. I don’t ever want you to see the weaker parts of me, so I’m sorry.” 

Seonghwa took in a deep breath, his lips quivering and his chin scrunching up as he did so, but he exhaled the need to cry. 

Just a few more steps to the stairs leading up to his apartment. He could make it. “I know you need your space, and I will wait for you as long as I need to, and in whatever way is best for you - whether it’s as friends, or something more -”

Seonghwa got to the top of his stairs to see a long frame leaning against his front door, his forehead leaning against the navy blue metal, sure that it was cool to his touch. Just as Seonghwa reached the second floor, the other looked over at him. “I love you.”

Seonghwa’s world seemed to pause at that moment. The Earth no longer spun on its axis, the wind had frozen in the air, and all of the noise stopped. It all melted away, and the only thing left was Yunho as he hesitantly stood in front of Seonghwa, slowly approaching him as Seonghwa lowered his phone from his ear. 

“I love you, too.” 

“Seonghwa?” Yunho questioned, a confused look on his face as if he hadn’t heard Seonghwa. His stupid lip began to quiver again, and this time Seonghwa didn’t think he’d be able to stop it as tears started slipping down his cheeks. “Oh, Seonghwa,” his tone shifted as he closed the distance between him, using his thumbs to wipe away his tears before enveloping Seonghwa in his arms and holding him close to his chest, his hand on the back of his head as the other one wrapped around his shoulders tightly.

Yunho invaded every single one of his senses; his beautiful face that always looked towards Seonghwa with a long-standing love; the warmth of his touch that corresponded well with the softness of his clothes, almost as if him wearing them was the reason they felt so soft; the gentleness of his voice that had been subtly deep; his signature scent, a beautiful mixture of vanilla orchids and christmas pine. 

The only thing that was missing was taste. 

Reaching up, Seonghwa wrapped his arms around Yunho’s shoulders, locking them behind his neck to help him get close enough to reach the taller man’s lips. Not that it was necessary; the moment Yunho understood what Seonghwa was doing, he craned his neck down to take his lips with his. This kiss…it was soft, yet needy, very much like an apology. It didn’t last long until they were both slowly pulling away, his eyes locking with his, that unreadable expression clouding them. How had Seonghwa not known before that the look Yunho gave him was one of a man hopelessly in love? 

“Seonghwa?” He asked again. Even though he’d only said his name, the question was quite clear. 

“I love you,” Seonghwa repeated more boldly, loud enough for him to hear it. “When I think about my past, it’s hard to think of a time where I haven’t loved you, and when I think of my future, it’s hard to think of a time where I’m not by your side.” 

Seonghwa truly left Yunho speechless by this confession, and although he tried to speak, he just stood there as he looked down at Seonghwa, lips parted as words formed in his head but not quite in his throat. 

“I want everything with you, Yunho,” Seonghwa finally declared, making it clear that this love had reached far beyond friendship for him as well. 

Yunho’s mouth shut once he figured out a better way to express his feelings other than words. The hand he held behind his head moved to cup his jaw as he leaned down to take his lips into another kiss, this time one that was much more deep. Seonghwa lengthened his body against Yunho once again, helping to deepen the kiss as his tongue swiped along the bottom of his lip, wanting access to the rest of his mouth. The moment Yunho’s lips parted, his tongue was there, ready to invade. 

His other hand slid down to his lower back, pressing Seonghwa closer to him in a kiss that had Seonghwa unsure of whether it had lasted five seconds, or five minutes. “Baby,” Yunho whispered down towards him as he pulled away from the kiss with a soft pluck. “Hmm?” Seonghwa questioned as he chased Yunho’s lips with his, eyes half-lidded. 

“Unlock your door,” Yunho smirked, reeling his head back and successfully preventing Seonghwa from capturing his lips. 

“But…” Seonghwa whined, completely in a trance from the way Yunho had just kissed him. He leaned down close to his ear, placing a kiss next to his lobe, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you,” he nuzzled his face next to Seonghwa’s, causing a smile to crawl onto his face, “I want to celebrate by making love to you.” 

Suddenly, Seonghwa could hear his heartbeat in his ears again, but that didn’t stop his hand from reaching into his pocket and pulling out his house keys. As if he knew the effect his words had on Seonghwa, Yunho reached down to grab the keys from his hand, which he had taken hold of with his free hand, leading Seonghwa over to his front door and unlocking it. The way he managed to do everything in life so casually yet graceful had always been something Seonghwa found attractive about Yunho, but now that feeling had amplified. 

And, fuck, was this the most nervous Seonghwa had ever been walking into his own home. 

Knowing what waited for him once the door closed behind him: it made his heart accelerate, and his hands gripped at the ends of his sweater. When Seonghwa and Yunho had started dating the first time, you both had taken it so slow that you never did anything more than kiss. So here Seonghwa was, with his childhood best friend, with the man that he was in love with. 

And he wanted to make love to Seonghwa.

Yunho made sure to lock the front door once they were both inside, and place both sets of keys down at the entryway key bowl before taking his shoes off and looking down at Seonghwa, now placing his wallet on the table. “Are you okay, sunshine?” he questioned, searching Seonghwa’s eyes, looking for any signs of uncertainty or hesitation. Although his nerves could probably pass his, if not exceed them, he would never want Seonghwa to regret this moment with him, or feel like this was something that he was obligated to do. 

As Yunho searched Seonghwa’s eyes, he couldn’t help but allow his eyes to travel down to his lips, noticing how plump and swollen they were from their kiss. 

“Nervous,” Seonghwa answered him truthfully, not feeling the need to hide it. Yunho wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pulling him into his chest as he placed his chin on the crown of his head. 

“Me, too,” he admitted softly. As Seonghwa breathed him in, it worked wonders to calm his nerves, and he once again found breathing to come a little more naturally. When his body shifted, Seonghwa looked up at him before Yunho bent down, hooking an arm underneath his knees to easily lift him up bridal style and look back down at Seonghwa so he could place a kiss on his forehead. “Come on.” 

Carrying Seonghwa through the halls of his apartment, Yunho took Seonghwa back to his bedroom, a place he’d hung out with him many times before but never in this context. Something about crossing over that bridge from friends to something more had started becoming more exciting for Seonghwa, and he found himself tightly wrapping his arms around Yunho’s shoulders as Seonghwa placed feather-light kisses into his skin. Specifically, he concentrated them around that vein he always noticed protruding from the base of his neck, gently nipping at his skin here and there. 

Yunho had always been pretty stoic in nature, even now, so Seonghwa had no idea of the effect he was having on him; how his heart was doing flips, how goosebumps raised all over his skin, or how his cock twitched against his pants that were gradually becoming tighter. 

When he placed Seonghwa down on the bed, he did so carefully, before leaning down next to the bed as he trailed his hands down his legs and towards his feet, slipping off his shoes and placing them down next to the bed. With his palms, he re-traced his hands back up to his hips, placing his hands down on either side of Seonghwa before leaning over his body and taking a moment to admire his features. 

God, he was in love with Seonghwa’s eyes. 

It was the first thing about him that Yunho had fallen in love with. 

Leaning down, he captured his lips as one hand slid up his side, his hand slipping under the shoulder of the sweater and sliding it down his arm so he could slip his hand out of the sleeve. After shifting his weight to the other side, he repeated on his other arm, and discarded the sweater to the side. He reached behind his waist, picking him up off of the bed and sliding him up further, giving him enough room to slide in between his legs. He settled himself there and reached down to undo his button and zipper, the tip of his tongue poking out in the corner of his mouth as if he were deep in thought. 

The moment his zipper had been undone, Seonghwa reached for Yunho’s arms, pulling him down towards him so that he was flush against his body, Seonghwa attacked his lips as he began to feel aggressively more needy for him. Yunho, on the other hand, seemed to handle Seonghwa as if he were glass. It was a nice sentiment, knowing he wanted to be kind and gentle to Seonghwa, especially during his first time with each other, but Seonghwa wanted it wet, sloppy, and hot. “Yunho,” Seonghwa breathed out, separating his lips for what felt like the millionth time. Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at Seonghwa. “What’s wrong, pretty?” he questioned, a little worry in his tone. Reaching up, Seonghwa wrapped onto his shoulders and smiled warmly. “Don’t be gentle,” Seonghwa said, his voice soft, “I promise you won’t break me.” 

Yunho took a moment to search his eyes, wanting to be sure. ‘Don’t be gentle’ hadn’t been very specific, leaving him a lot of room to do the wrong thing. But as he looked into his eyes, he realized that he couldn’t say no to Seonghwa. His hands continued to fondle Seonghwa, his breathing becoming heavier as his fingers slid up his sides, underneath his shirt so he could slip it off of him and discard it in some random direction. 

He began to place wet sloppy kisses down Seonghwa’s neck, his tongue brushing against his sensitive skin, all the way to his collarbone. With a grin, he blew on the damp skin as he took one of Seonghwa’s nipples in between his thumb and pointer finger. Seonghwa let out a soft moan, his chest pushing upwards as he arched his back, earning Yunho’s limps clamping down on his collarbone as Yunho continued to roll his nub around between his fingers. 

Despite how lovely this was, Seonghwa couldn’t help but feel like Yunho was being extra gentle with him, and Seonghwa opened his mouth to protest. “Yunho, I-” before Seonghwa could get out his complete sentence, his mouth had been stuffed with two fingers flat against his tongue and pushing back towards his throat, stopping him mid-sentence. Instinctively, his mouth closed around his fingers, allowing his spit to coat them as Seonghwa rolled his tongue around and in between. The mixture of Yunho’s digits in his mouth and his tongue rolling around his nipple shot electric pulses towards his core that had his thighs clamping shut. 

Almost as if Yunho was reading every word Seonghwa’s body was telling him, his fingers slipped from his mouth and into the waistband of his pants - but not his underwear. The palm of his large hand began rubbing towards the quickly hardening mound between Seonghwa’s thighs,  changing his tempo over and over again before finally slipping his hand into the waistband of Seonhgwa’s briefs and wrapping around the tip of his cock as his thumb brushed against his slit, spreading around the pre-cum that had been absolutely leaking from him. “Oh, Seonghwa, is this how badly you want me?” Yunho questioned as he began lowering himself between Seonghwa’s thighs. 

Reaching down, he grabbed the waistband of Seonghwa’s pants, as well as his briefs, sliding them off of Seonghwa’s legs and tossing them to the floor before lowering himself down to Seonghwa’s painfully hard erection, which was now laying flat against his lower stomach. Yunho cupped his balls in his hands as he lay his tongue flat against the base of his cock, licking a slow strip up to the tip before taking it in his mouth. He ran his tongue in circles around it before sliding the tip of his tongue through the slit, hollowing out his cheeks as he sucked. His free hand came up and wrapped around his dick. As he started slowly bobbing his head on his length, his hand shafted him at the same speed. His tempo would change; speeding up and then slowing down in a calculated manner. 

It drove Seonghwa absolutely insane, one second he was chasing his high, the other, he had completely lost it, just to get it back again. Yunho worked him up enough so that by the time Yunho had sucked one of his balls into his mouth, it had caused Seonghwa to jump, a loud moan escaping before he attacked it with his tongue. As Seonghwa’s legs began trembling, Yunho placed his palms flat against the back of his thighs, pushing them up to keep them out of the way as his tongue traveled down lower to Seonghwa’s ringed muscle. 

Seonghwa’s hips bucked as his hand reached down, lacing into Yunho’s locks while whimpering out his name, receiving a laugh of endearment from Yunho. Yunho sat up, his eyes locking with Seonghwa’s as he began to prod at his entrance with the tips of his fingers. “Oh baby,” he smiled widely, “even your asshole’s pretty.” Yunho grinned as he disappeared into Seonghwa’s center again, the tip of his tongue at his entrance as he slit it around in wet, sloppy circles, leaving his saliva pooling around the hole as he reached around and began pumping the tip of Seonghwa’s cock, twisting his wrist as he did so.

As Yunho started pressing his tongue flat against the muscle and moving his head around, Seonghwa’s hand weaved into Yunho’s hair again, the sting for gripping it causing Yunho’s cock to twitch. By now, his pants had become uncomfortably tight, and he was absolutely throbbing just from the thought of being inside of Seonghwa. Seonghwa’s moans, meanwhile, started becoming much more wanton, his free hand now fisting the sheets below him. With just his tongue and his hand, Yunho was causing him to become completely undone. 

“Fuck, Yunho, please…” Seonghwa mewled, his back arching as Yunho placed a soft kiss on the skin just above his entrance, and slipping two fingers inside of him. Raising his head up, Yunho looked at Seonghwa with a raised brow. 

“Baby?” he questioned with innocence, a humorous glint in his eyes as he watched the way Seonghwa’s lips parted, and the skin in between his eyebrows wrinkled up from pleasure as Yunho hooked his fingers up, and started massaging stars into his sweet spot. This caused Seonghwa to buck his hips again, his orgasm not too far out of sight. “Tell me what you want, pretty.” 

The way he called Seonghwa that once again had him teetering on the edge.

“Please, I want to feel you inside of me,” Seonghwa’s hand reached down to grab onto Yunho’s wrist, practically desperate as his insides clenched around his fingers with need. They weren’t enough.

“You will,” he promised, “I just need to make sure I fit.” It was hot how he said that without sounding smug, and more importantly, how big was it exactly? His lips returned to Seonghwa’s balls as he began to pump his fingers in and out, still pointing them upwards so they hit Seonghwa’s spot with every thrust, every once in a while stalling his thrusts to scissor them, then returning to the former. 

All the while, Seonghwa was yelling out explicits, biting down on the nearest pillow he could get his hands on as Yunho told him how amazing he tasted and how he was his favorite flavor. Just like that, Seonghwa was about to climax, and he pushed Yunho’s hand away and covered his own tip, pressing his thumb against the slit as he placed his foot on Yunho’s chest to push him back. “I don’t want to cum unless it’s with your cock inside of me,” he explained as he sat up. Even then, he wanted to savor that, too, so he needed a moment to calm down. “Let me taste you, Yunho.”

Crawling up and over Seonghwa, Yunho leaned down to press their lips together, allowing Seonghwa to taste himself on Yunho’s tongue. With the way his body shifted, Seonghwa could tell he’d reached down to undo his pants, and broke the kiss so he could get rid of them, his shirt as well. By the time Yunho leaned down to place another kiss against Seonghwa’s lips, they were both completely naked. 

Finally.Standing up, just off the side of the bed, he turned towards Seonghwa, holding his cock in his hands. Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he looked at it, almost thinking to himself that it won’t fit. Yunho was a big man, after all, tall and with large hands, but he never would have guessed Yunho was that big. Swallowing thickly, he slid down the bed until his knees were on the floor, kneeling in front of Yunho as if he were in a place of worship. 

Grabbing the base of his own cock, Yunho looked down at Seonghwa expectantly. “Well?” He wondered aloud, and Seonghwa wasn’t sure what the question was aimed towards; was he asking if he was big enough? Was he waiting for him to start? Seonghwa didn’t bother using words to answer, and instead leaned forward to place a small kiss on the side of his head before grabbing the base, replacing Yunho’s hand, and using his tongue to collect the pre-cum that was already spread around, causing this tip of his cock to appear shiny. Seonghwa moaned at how sweet Yunho had tasted, tilting his head back to look up at Yunho as he flattened out his tongue, taking Yunho’s entire cock in his mouth until his lips were barely able to meet the end. He gagged silently, tears beginning to peak from the outer corners of his eyes as he struggled to swallow around him. After focusing on breathing through his nose, he had finally managed. Tightening his lips around Yunho’s shaft, he slowly retracted his head before repeating this entire process a few times, covering him in saliva before moving his hand to cup Yunho’s balls, which felt tight to the touch. 

“Fuck, I can’t wait to put this inside of you,” Yunho regained control of his dick, grabbing it as he slapped it a couple of times against Seonghwa’s outstretched tongue, his other hand coming up to brush Seonghwa’s ebony locks out of his face and caressing his jaw. “So perfect. I don’t think I’ll last if you keep doing this.” Seonghwa had gotten the hint, and climbed back onto the bed before Yunho crawled back in between his legs. 

Yunho grabbed himself at the base of his cock, rubbing his head in between Seonghwa’s cheeks and spreading more of the pre-cum that leaked from his slit around as he felt the other’s eyes  on his, Seonghwa’s large brown orbs peering up at him. A large smile bloomed on Yunho’s face as he resumed sliding his head around, pressing it against Seonghwa’s entrance, thrusting towards it a couple of times before slowly pushing it in. He grinned as he slowly slipped his head into Seonghwa’s entrance before pulling it out, earning a gasp from the both of them, just to press it back in again. This time a little farther. Seonghwa had no idea how close Yunho already was to cumming. 

“Oh, fuck, Seonghwa. I had no idea you were this tight,” Yunho groaned, now burying his face into Seonghwa’s neck. “I barely even fit,” he mentioned, emphasizing his words as he pressed into him all the way, earning a long, drawn out moan from the both of them. Seonghwa could tell that Yunho was right - he filled up his channel so perfectly that Seonghwa was sure if he was any bigger, he wouldn’t have fit. The idea caused him to clench around Yunho’s cock, and now this time Yunho was the one moaning; he could feel every movement of Seonghwa’s inner walls and it made him absolutely fucking feral. He sat up, his hands placed on the back of Seonghwa’s thighs to keep his legs wide open and began thrusting into Seonghwa relentlessly, not able to take his eyes off of the way he filled him up over and over again. He didn’t waste any of his length, pulling out nearly to the head of his dick before pushing back in, as if he were confidently sheathing a sword. 

This had been something he thought about a lot; just about every time he jerked off was to the thought of being balls deep inside of Seonghwa. So when he finally had this chance…he wasn’t sure how long he would last. “Fuck baby, I need you to cum for me,” he pleaded, though his thrusts did not slow down. He was chasing his high, and he wanted Seonghwa to chase his as well. 

Collecting both of Seonghwa’s ankles, Yunho placed them on one shoulder, causing his thighs to squeeze together as he wrapped an arm around them. With his free hand, he reached down and slapped Seonghwa’s ass, causing a stinging pain that turned into something hypersensitive as he began rubbing the area. “Fuck, Yunho,” he hissed out, his back arching once again. Seonghwa’s legs were starting to tremble, and although he was chasing his climax, it still hadn’t come. “Are you going to be a good boy and cum for me?” Yunho growled, his fingers squeezing into the meat of Seonghwa’s thighs, his thrusts becoming long and slow as he tried to prevent himself from releasing before Seonghwa was able to. 

“Baby, I’m trying,” Seonghwa moaned, clenching around his cock forcefully. Just then, Yunho’s hand came down to strike him again in the same spot on his ass, followed by his gentle caress, and the sequence of actions had Seonghwa drooling at the mouth. Seonghwa could feel his essence dripping from the tip of his cock, his balls tightening up in an uncomfortable way. Desperate to cum, Seonghwa’s hand slid down to his core, his palm barely pressing into the head of his cock before he felt his wrist captured in Yunho’s large hand, and he was flipping Seonghwa over onto his stomach with his wrist now against his lower back. Just a moment later, both of Seonghwa’s wrists were in Yunho’s hand as he positioned himself to press back into Seonghwa’s entrance. 

This was Yunho’s time to be selfish. After all of these years of pining over him, the only way Seonghwa would cum tonight was solely by Yunho.

And, god, Seonghwa? Seonghwa was better than anything Yunho could have ever imagined. 

Leaning forward, he reached an arm around Seonghwa’s thigh, leaning over as he maintained his grasp on Seonghwa’s wrists. It caused a little bit of a strain on his shoulders, but nothing he couldn’t happily handle just to be in this moment. “Was this what you wanted?” Yunho asked as his fingers wrapped around Seonghwa’s cock, quickly stroking him from head to base, his wrist twisting again as he did so.

The feeling that previously had pooled at Seonghwa’s core had returned, this time at a lightning speed that had him seeing stars that blurred his vision and had loud, aggressive moans escaping his chest before he could even tell Yunho he was about to cum. It was as if Yunho knew the moment Seonghwa’s hips started twitching, and Seonghwa’s cum began to sputter from his cock, covering nearly all of the space underneath him as his walls continued clenching around him as  if he was trying to milk him. And Yunho obliged, spilling hot cum deep into Seonghwa’s hole as he groaned out his name. Yunho had ridden the both of them through their orgasms, having him breathing heavily as sweat collected at the ends of his hair. He hadn’t pulled out of Seonghwa yet, but he could already feel the warm liquid dripping down his inner thigh. “Holy shit,” Seonghwa gasped, his face still pressed into his sheets as Yunho gently rubbed at his hips, looking down and admiring his body. “Hmm,” Yunho hummed in concurrence, eyelids covering his eyes halfway. Slowly, he pulled out of Seonghwa, leaning down to watch as the cum started to drip out of his entrance. Using two of his fingers, he gathered what had begun to leak out, and pushed it back into Seonghwa, earning another moan to slip past his lips. 

“Was it worth the wait?” Seonghwa teased as he tilted his head enough to see the side of Yunho’s face as he watched what was going on at his entrance with enlightenment, his lips parted and turned up in satisfaction. He collected more of what was dripping, putting it back in keeping his fingers pressed there as he looked over at Seonghwa, blinking as his face grew into a smile of adoration. 

“More than,” he verified, “I’d wait every day of my life for you if I had to, pretty.” 

“I love you,” Seonghwa said confidently, the position he was still in only fueling that feeling. 

“I love you,” he leaned forward, placing a kiss on his ass cheek, “Now, let’s take a bath.”

gif by @seonghwazia

#ateez #ateez jeong yunho #ateez yunho #ateez yunho smut #yunho smut #ateez park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #ateez seonghwa smut #seonghwa smut #yunhwa #yunhwalovebot #yunhwasmut #kpop smut #ateez smut