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the-audience · 5 months

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And that's all one person! Isn’t that wild? No other person is exactly like them. There might be some things that they have in common with this kid, but there are always differences, and this counts for every person! That's just wild, and so extremely cool too!

If it wasn't already extremely obvious, this is about me. Who could I observe better then myself right? Most of these things I already knew about myself before I did this, but having them all here together is still very interesting. I feel like I know myself better now. Writing the first post from this thread, about my life op to now, I did start to realise why I do some things a specific way (especially when it comes to my history with being bullied and excluded) so I did also learn some new things about myself. Most of the stuff I do are because of my autism, which makes a lot of sense, because my autism literally is how my brain is wired and that does dictate everything I do in my life.

It’s very odd to write such a complete picture of yourself because that's a lot of introspection, but it's still very interesting to do and I would recommend others try it too!

The Audience's findings #1

Lives are weird aren't they? How every single person has such a unique experience. Every single one! Here's an example of a life, completely different from everyone else's! Like everyone else, this kid is made up of stardust, which is cool but I think we’re going a little bit too far in the past now. Little bit of a fast forward: late 2000's, this kid is born somewhere in the Dutch Province Noord Holland. Born in a hospital, their family consists of their mum, dad and older sister. Their parents are a little on the older side, but the kid doesn’t care cause that means their parents have more life experience, and thus more stories to tell. Who doesn't love listening to stories? Their parents are kind, and caring, and just overall amazing figures to look up to in life. The kid has been raised to be kind and understanding, and patient, they are as much as they can. Always going out of their way to always say "hello", "thank you" and "have good day!!" the employees of the stores, restaurants and other companies they visit. A lot of people don't, the lack of gratitude in the people who don't bothers them deeply.

They want to make clear to employees that they are valued, always! This might be because the kid is a bit of an outsider. in kindergarten, primary and secondary school, they were (and still are) being made to feel like there's something wrong with them. Their classmates exclude them and make fun of the kid (behind their back of course, cause bullies are cowards) and they don’t want anyone else to feel that way. Thats why they always value everyone, try to see the best in everyone and give everyone a chance (even when they really, REALLY shouldn’t).

When they are very little, the kiddo spoke quite late, they barely said any words at all, but when they started to talk it was full sentences, right away (and ho boy with a lotta sass too). The first sentence was "MOMMY, ME WANNA WATCH TV, NOW!". Their mum prioritized doing the laundry over putting on the tv right away, and the little one did NOT like that. But that’s something the kid does more often, not starting something until they fully understand it. Probably the autism. In primary school they were really smart, but had trouble actually performing well in class, especially with maths. They always finished the schoolwork late, if at all. They tried to do it, but it was hard to concentrate. They even had to stay in to finish the work while the rest of the class got recess, that made them kid feel even worse. The first year of high school they also often didn’t finish homework (again they had trouble concentrating) but now they got away with it because of covid. In the summer holiday after the now teenager found out they had autism and ADHD They god medication, and since then they’ve been thriving. Exceptional report cards. Last year they only had eights and nines (outside of PE) on their report cards, in other words, straight A student. They are especially good in and, to their surprise, math. They are always 1 or 2 lessons ahead of the schedule. They are also exceptionally good at English, being allowed to do an accelerated course that allows them to finish English a year earlier then their peers. It probably helps that their parents raised them on English tv since they were a toddler. Not to mention that they have English relatives and that their mom is an English teacher who lived in England for a year.

The kid is also very openly queer. They had the luck of parents telling them since they were like 7 that if they ever found out they weren't straight, they could tell their parents and their parents would accept them. The family was also never an issue since they had a grandma in a sapphic relationship (had because the granny's partner died about a month or so ago) and a cousin a gay relationship so they knew the family would be accepting.

#the audience

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the-audience · 5 months

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The kid really wants to study art- and literature sciences. They aren't quite sure what exactly they want to do for a job after that, but that’s still a few years into the future so they have plenty of time to figure it out. Honestly at this point they don’t know what they want to do with their future outside of the thing they want to study at all. They're way to busy with school for that! Even the one thing they DO know is school! School kind of dictates every part of their life right now because well you know, that’s high school for ya!

They really hope they will be able to go to uni. Their worst nightmare would be to not be able to do the study because if autistic burnout. Generally getting autistic burnout would be absolutely terrible. They're also realistically terrified of the notion of climate change. Especially the speed at which it is occurring and the way governments let it happen. They wanna live in a world where nature still exists and thrives and where we aren’t getting boiled to death. Also on a small scale they would be absolutely distraught and ruined if their cat would die. But like... who wouldn't be? Pets are the best.

They hope that in around 20 years (if not sooner) discrimination will be mostly stopped and the government will be very left leaning. Queer people, disabled people, people of colour and any other type of marginalized community should be able to thrive and be happy! Women should be equally represented in the workforce. (if it is logical at least, the police and fire department have less women in the workforce because a lot of women lack the physical strength needed, and that makes sense, we obviously shouldn’t let people into a workforce when they don’t have the physical requirements purely cause they're women. that would be dangerous to themselves and potentially to the people they want to help.) They also want the world to be lot greener and to fight against climate change, and also finally go build some ding-dang powerplants because holy shit we need them if we want to fight against climate change!

The Audience's findings #1

#the audience

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the-audience · 5 months

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This person lives for the enjoyment of the little things: the little "Prrp?" a cat does when you pet it when it doesn’t expect you too, snowflakes, bright red poppies blooming in the green gras, that sort of stuff. Those tiny things that make life special. The big things in life are though. The autism, the exclusion, so you gotta take joy out of the little things. And they do! They also live for their cat. That speaks for itself I hope, cats are awesome and adorable and they must be loved.

They have trouble with expressing negative emotions sometimes. Joy and happiness they will show in bounds: squealing, jumping, flapping their hands, smiling the brightest smile possible. But anything bad? Thats hard. Well around other people at least. This is partially because they are a people pleaser. When someone does something that ruins their whole plans they rather just say "no that’s alright" then be an inconvenience, even though they might be incredibly disappointed or furious. With sadness its more that seeking help is hard, they don’t know how to tell someone something has happened that makes them sad or stressed so they just don't. Until they're alone in their bedroom, and then all the emotion comes out. They’ll be sobbing so hard water stains are staining their pillow. Loudly though, hoping someone will hear them and come. It's the only way they know to seek help when sad.

Every night the kid gives their parents and pets a good night hug. Doing this little ritual is very important to them. The kid's very affectionate and the good night hug is a way they show their parents and pets that they love them. This is incredibly important to them (they are also just a giant hugger and will take any excuse for a hug). Since they deeply care about their pets, the 4th of October is very important to them as well. This is national animal day in the Netherlands. They don’t celebrate it super big, only getting the pets a few treats, but acknowledging how much the pets mean to them, and celebrating them is very important still. A tradition that’s very important to the kid is putting the star on the Christmas tree. Every either they or their sister gets to put the star on the tree. This is always the last element placed on the tree and it finished the tree, so being allowed to place it feels like a huge honour.

They don't have many friends in class, and often the ones that they think are friends, often give up on them quickly. So they often look for friends in online spaces, like discord. Often places based on fandom, like Doctor Who. They care a lot about that show so they chance that they are active in a Doctor Who related server is bigger, so they also make more friends there. That server is truly a safe space to them and they feel very at home there. They also do have a great group of real life friends. The friends are a bit older than them though, but not that much and they are great people! They also have a friend from school they do sit with at lunch that they are close with. They just really enjoy chatting and hanging out together, and they both enjoy Doctor Who and art! The friend is just very loyal, which the kid really needs. They have only a few loyal friends.

The kid is moderately happy about the fact that they live in the Netherlands. On average its a very safe and wealthy country, but there is also still a lot of bigotry. The recent election results aren’t helping that either. The bigotry bothers them for a good reason as they care a lot for equal rights, and they are very vocal about it. So the rise in homophobia, transphobia, racism and xenophobia is making them quite upset. Their passion for equality and their vocality about it probably lies in their autism. A symptom of autism is a strong sense of justice. This means that they feel very strongly about what they feel is right and wrong. And discriminating someone based on something arbitrary like skin colour or sexuality is, in their opinion, very wrong. They are also very much a goody-two-shoes. They will follow the rules no matter what. Because that’s the thing you should do by law, so they always will (and if they don't follow the rules its accidental). Cause of this they also get intensely anxious when they are in a situation where the rules are ambiguous or they are forced to break them.

Kindness and fairness have always been very important values for the kid. People deserve to be treated with respect, but people can lose that respect and then the kindness they got before is gone. Losing the respect is mostly when that person didn’t treat the kid with basic human decency and were just mean against them. The kids not gonna be nice to someone who wasn’t nice to them, can you blame them? They also hate it when people who've been mean to them still think they’re entitled to respect because they are somehow "above" the kid. Like yeah you’re their teacher but you’ve also mistreated them all year and caused them significant mental health issues, so hell no they won’t call you the formal version of "you". But unless you were the one who started being rude, they won't be rude to you. They’re always very polite and try to find the fairest solutions. They’ll always ask if they can pass you in the hallway, never just push through. They won’t make fun of you either, not even if you lost their respect. Only people they make fun of is their friends, but that’s in the normal way that friends tease each other and not in an actual mean way. (Their friends do it to them too so its fine don’t worry lol) The kid is a sucker for gothic and other alternative styles. They lobe dressing in pretty black dresser or wear chockers and fingerless gloves when they've got the energy. Their room is also filled with witchy and gothic decor like fake potion bottles, skulls, that kind of stuff. But they also really love pretty things in nature, like flowers, sunsets, animals (not bugs and fish though, those animals freak them out) and the snow. The world is so pretty, and we need to keep seeing that. The kid is also blessed with a body they're confident about. They have a nice hourglass(-ish?) shape and wide hips. It makes them feel very pretty. They also had stretchmarks on their left hip that looked like they were scars from getting slashed by an animal with big claws. Those marks are fading and the kid is very sad about that since they though the marks looks hella cool.

The kid is a very outspoken atheist. The idea of something all-knowing and unseen having creating the world feel silly to them. Especially with all the design flaws the human body has. Like why do so many people need braces, should are teeth... I don’t know... FIT???? Or periods, why do people with a uterus need to suffer every month for the sake of fertility? Ridiculous! And this is only the human body, animals not even mentioned! A god wouldn’t screw up making creatures that bad. (They don't have any issue with people who are religious though, this is just how they see the world, if someone else sees it differently that’s fine too!) The kid does, however, believe in ghosts... sometimes. They don't really know themselves either, on the one hand the kid believes in some super-natural powers, on the other hand do they think some super natural things are complete nonsense. It’s just kinda the vibe some things give off I guess. They also believe in reincarnation, cause they feel like life can’t just disappear like that after death, that just feels wrong. And they also believe that people should be kind, as stated before. It’s not that hard to be kind and people should always attempt to be kind to others.

The Audience's findings #1

#this is part two to a multiple part thing so uhm #stay tuned i guess??#the audience

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the-audience · 5 months

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People seem to have a weird issue with people being polite.

If I'm on my bicycle and i want to overtake someone and i just aggressively ring my bell people go out of the way no issue, no matter how rude i do it.

If i tell ask (very politely) "hey, may i pass please" they are very inclined to not go out of the way, and even try to kick me off my bike if i do try??

Same with hallways, i can shove someone aside and they don't care, do i ask if i can pass and they block my way even more?

Why so people become stubborn and mean from people not being assholes to them?

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the-audience · 6 months

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The Audience's findings #1

#this is part one to a multiple part thing so uhm #stay tuned i guess??#the audience

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