the-qalankhais-sweetheart

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Damn it, Ea-Nasir.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

One day in 2019, I had pain so bad I went to the ER.

My gut felt like there were red hot needles and knifes being stabbed into it. I felt nauseous. I felt faint. I very nearly threw up.

It was not the first time I felt this way but it was the worst I’d ever felt. I’d been getting increasingly bad pain for over a year and I had gone to countless doctors trying to determine what it was.

The doctors at the ER — thankfully — took me seriously. They determined I had a severely infected gallbladder and the only way to save my life was to have surgery to remove it.

I still had to give consent before the surgery.

I remember being terrified. I was alone. There was no one to help me. And somehow, even though the only course of action I could take was to consent to the surgery the fact that I had to before they could take action made it all the more terrifying. The consequences of the surgery would mean I would live, but I’d never quite be the same. I felt cheated by my own body. Why was it this way? Why couldn’t I be healthy? Functional? Why wasn’t my body working with me?

The nurses, doctors, and surgeons there were all incredibly kind to me.

One surgeon in particular — the one who ended up operating on me — said something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. “Your body is there to help you. Sometimes, when part of the body is no longer helping you, the best thing to do is cut it away. You’ll be so much happier after the surgery. You won’t be in pain anymore.”

I think about that a lot.

I think about it a lot when I see trans men begging for help to get top surgery and are met with resistance or well meaning but ignorant messages begging back to not “mutilate” their body.

I think about my surgeon, who was so kind to me and knew what to say when I was scared and crying and alone in my hospital bed.

Your body is there to help you.

Sometimes, when part of the body is no longer helping you, the best thing to do is cut it away.

You’ll be so much happier after the surgery.

You won’t be in pain anymore.

I hope you get your top surgery.

I hope you will be so much happier.

And I hope the pain will end.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Gonna choose to believe it does out of spite.

I'm too fucking stubborn to resign myself to it not existing.

deep lovers just need deeper love.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Damn, it's been months. I thought I was clear of the longing.

How do I push this back inside?

All it took to wake everything back up in my heart and head was to see his picture once. Just once.

#sunny's ramblings #unrequited love

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

He stick he leggy out real far

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

joyfulsmolthings

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Not enough Ranpo being Atsushi's mentor. He finds Atsushi in the Orphanage after deducing Shibusawa's whereabouts.

Finds a scared child with a transformed arm standing over a corpse. Ranpo sees fear, self hatred and another child used by others for their ability.

And thinks, this one is ours now.

He wanders over, makes himself look as least threathing as possible. Before they know it Atsushi's bundled up in Ranpo's cloak hesitantly eating one of his snacks.

Ranpo's calling the President like "so how do you feel about us getting a cat?"

Yosano and Atsushi look like shattered reflections of each other and that alone makes Ranpo hold them just that bit closer.

There's pride in his heart when Yosano quietly but with her own hidden strength tells Atsushi his ability isn't a curse. And maybe Atsushi doesn't believe them now but Ranpo knows he will someday.

He does almost break his lollipop in half when Atsushi timidly asks where his cage is. They have a sleep over that night, Ranpo holds his siblings close.

He'll burn this world with his own hands if it keeps them warm. Ranpo doesn't have many people he cares about, but those he does he loves fiercely.

Atsushi goes on snack runs with Ranpo, accompanies him to his more child friendly cases. Ranpo coaxes out deductions and questions no matter how silly or incorrect.

Death glares any detective who finds it amusing.

And oh there's that pride again when Atsushi's deductions become more and more bold, more and more correct.

Ranpo delights at it and tells him he might be the world's 2nd best detective. And maybe some would find that insulting but Atsushi beams.

And that, that smile alone makes Atsushi worth protecting. A new unspoken rule makes it way into the hearts of the people of Yokohama.

Don't mesd with the Agencies tiger or you'll start a war.

Which is such a exaggeration, it won't bsd a war... It'll be a massacre.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Dazai and Poe fighting over who's the true number one Ranpo fan.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

THE FREAKING CHILLS!

We often underestimate Ranpo's feelings for the Agency members, but he cares about all of them, as much they care about him. The ADA is a big weird family.

(I'd like to point out that Dazai's also here, meaning that Ranpo cares about him too and he sees him as one of them. "ADA never includes Dazai as one of them" JUST.SHUT.IT.)

#ranpo my baby #we don't talk enough about ranpo #ranpo IS the ADA #no ranpo no ADA

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

Just a couple Ranpo Edogawa icons for all your Ranpo fiends, of which I consider myself to be one. I've really latched onto him during my journey through Bungo Stray Dogs.

#BSD #Bungo Stray Dogs #Ranpo Edogawa

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

You don't fuck with Ranpo's family!

#protective ranpo #awwww he cares so much for the agency and its members #ranpo deserves more appreciation #ranpo literally gave his soul for the ADA #he's not the only one obviously #the ADA is a big family #i love the ada #ranpo deserves love #edogawa ranpo

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

An explanation.

[the-qalankhais-sweetheart]

If this pops up while you’re scrolling, I wish you unconditional love and massive success.