thesparklingwriter

[thesparklingwriter]

Hi everyone!

I wanted to let you know that this blog is officially inactive. I appreciate all of the love and support you have given me in the 2 years I've been here. From followers to mutuals to those who read, reblogged, liked and went on with their lives, I'm grateful to all of you for supporting my silly little headcanons and fics.

I've decided to officially 'leave' because I feel it's unfair for me to leave everyone in limbo, waiting for me to come back, when I know it's unlikely.

i want to say explicitly that any incomplete series on this account will not be completed. Even if I were to return, I wouldn't want to pick those up again after a long time period and will mark them as incomplete and/or abandoned in due course.

I want you guys to know that I am okay! I'm not leaving because of anything negative happening in my life. Fanfic was a part of my life that filled a void I felt for a long time, and I'm lucky to not have that void anymore.

I'm not taking this blog down and never will, so if you ever want to reread something, I will always be here and on ao3, but for now, nothing new will be posted :)

[thesparklingwriter]

Having read up on what going on in terms of the ai situation, I won’t be taking any fics down. I’ll take the neccesary steps to avoid my work being crawled, but by posting it seems like there’s no way to guarantee they won’t be included in the involved content that’s being handed to midjourney. That being said, I will have to reconsider whether I want to post anything new on here once I’m off hiatus.

I hope everyone is staying safe rn! Things are very scary and I hope you’re all taking care of your mental health. If you ever need to talk, I’m willing to listen. :)

#important

[thesparklingwriter]

Automattic will sign a contract with OpenAI for Midjourney to learn off of Tumblr and Wordpress

Hello! Automattic, Tumblr's parent company, will sign a contract with OpenAI and Midjourney so Midjourney can learn off of Tumblr's and WordPress' art and other user data. :) (The full text of this article is copy/pasted in the cut below). You can opt out! but I truly cannot imagine a more idiotic or out of touch decision on the part of Tumblr's CEO.

First thing's first: When/if this goes live, opt out of this immediately. Do this even if you're not an artist. The more people opt out, the less valuable this contract is to Midjourney. in an ideal world, literally all of the active users would opt out, but if we can even get to 50% that's pretty delicious.

Second: Contact Tumblr Support. It's vital that you do this politely. Tumblr staff is not responsible for this decision and the point of doing this is to show the userbase's unwillingness to be involved in this, not harangue Tumblr staff. (Seriously, stop haranguing Tumblr staff). Here's a script:

Hi, I'm writing in to express my disappointment in Automattic's pending contract with OpenAI to sell user data. Midjourney is already embroiled in copyright lawsuits, and it is not possible to train it without compromising copyright, including violating the IP of artists on this site. I strongly protest this contract and will opt out if it goes live. Depending on the privacy terms around what user data is sold to OpenAI and why, it is possible I will leave the platform entirely. Thank you for your time.

Third: Download Glaze and start poisoning them prompts, my friends

Fourth: Stare into the middle distance for a second with me because holy fucking shit? How stupid can one decision be?

Tumblr and Wordpress are preparing to sell user data to Midjourney and OpenAI, according to a source with internal knowledge about the deals and internal documentation referring to the deals. 

The exact types of data from each platform going to each company are not spelled out in documentation we’ve reviewed, but internal communications reviewed by 404 Media make clear that deals between Automattic, the platforms’ parent company, and OpenAI and Midjourney are imminent.

The internal documentation details a messy and controversial process within Tumblr itself. One internal post made by Cyle Gage, a product manager at Tumblr, states that a query made to prepare data for OpenAI and Midjourney compiled a huge number of user posts that it wasn’t supposed to. It is not clear from Gage’s post whether this data has already been sent to OpenAI and Midjourney, or whether Gage was detailing a process for scrubbing the data before it was to be sent. 

Gage wrote:

“the way the data was queried for the initial data dump to Midjourney/OpenAI means we compiled a list of all tumblr’s public post content between 2014 and 2023, but also unfortunately it included, and should not have included:

private posts on public blogs

posts on deleted or suspended blogs

unanswered asks (normally these are not public until they’re answered)

private answers (these only show up to the receiver and are not public)

posts that are marked ‘explicit’ / NSFW / ‘mature’ by our more modern standards (this may not be a big deal, I don’t know)

content from premium partner blogs (special brand blogs like Apple’s former music blog, for example, who spent money with us on an ad campaign) that may have creative that doesn’t belong to us, and we don’t have the rights to share with this-parties; this one is kinda unknown to me, what deals are in place historically and what they should prevent us from doing.”

Gage’s post makes clear that engineers are working on compiling a list of post IDs that should not have been included, and that password-protected posts, DMs, and media flagged as CSAM and other community guidelines violations were not included.

Automattic plans to launch a new setting on Wednesday that will allow users to opt-out of data sharing with third parties, including AI companies, according to the source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, and internal documents. A new FAQ section we reviewed is titled “What happens when you opt out?” states that “If you opt out from the start, we will block crawlers from accessing your content by adding your site on a disallowed list. If you change your mind later, we also plan to update any partners about people who newly opt-out and ask that their content be removed from past sources and future training.” 

404 Media has asked Automattic how it accidentally compiled data that it shouldn’t share, and whether any of that content was shared with OpenAI, but did not immediately hear back from the company. 404 Media asked Automattic about an imminent deal with Midjourney last week but did not hear back then, either.

Another internal document shows that, on February 23, an employee asked in a staff-only thread, “Do we have assurances that if a user opts out of their data being shared with third parties that our existing data partners will be notified of such a change and remove their data?”

Andrew Spittle, Automattic’s head of AI replied: “We will notify existing partners on a regular basis about anyone who's opted out since the last time we provided a list. I want this to be an ongoing process where we regularly advocate for past content to be excluded based on current preferences. We will ask that content be deleted and removed from any future training runs. I believe partners will honor this based on our conversations with them to this point. I don't think they gain much overall by retaining it.” Automattic did not respond to a question from 404 Media about whether it could guarantee that people who opt out will have their data deleted retroactively.

News about a deal between Tumblr and Midjourney has been rumored and speculated about on Tumblr for the last week. Someone claiming to be a former Tumblr employee announced in a Tumblr blog post that the platform was working on a deal with Midjourney, and the rumor made it onto Blind, an app for verified employees of companies to anonymously discuss their jobs. 404 Media has seen the Blind posts, in which what seems like an Automattic employee says, “I'm not sure why some of you are getting worked up or worried about this. It's totally legal, and sharing it publicly is perfectly fine since it's right there in the terms & conditions. So, go ahead and spread the word as much as you can with your friends and tech journalists, it's totally fine.”

Separately, 404 Media viewed a public, now-deleted post by Gage, the product manager, where he said that he was deleting all of his images off of Tumblr, and would be putting them on his personal website. A still-live post says, “i've deleted my photography from tumblr and will be moving it slowly but surely over to cylegage.com, which i'm building into a photography portfolio that i can control end-to-end.” At one point last week, his personal website had a specific note stating that he did not consent to AI scraping of his images. Gage’s original post has been deleted, and his website is now a blank page that just reads “Cyle.” Gage did not respond to a request for comment from 404 Media. 

Several online platforms have made similar deals with AI companies recently, including Reddit, which entered into an AI content licensing deal with Google and said in its SEC filing last week that it’s “in the early stages of monetizing [its] user base” by training AI on users’ posts. Last year, Shutterstock signed a six year deal with OpenAI to provide training data.

OpenAI and Midjourney did not respond to requests for comment. 

#important

[thesparklingwriter]

Thank you so much for this informative reply and the relevant link, I really appreciate it! I hope you start feeling well soon and thank you for taking the time to reply to me :)

does anyone know how the recent ai news will affect fanfic writers on tumblr?

#important

[thesparklingwriter]

does anyone know how the recent ai news will affect fanfic writers on tumblr?

[thesparklingwriter]

While Israel actively commits a genocide and prepares to invade Rafah, Eurovision helps it spread its war propaganda. Boycott Eurovision.

[thesparklingwriter]

*stumbles in* for that wip ask game THAT WIP ASK GAME. that zhongli smut and ikjhgfvghjk the genshin men as animals???? TEA PLS????

also celeste bae boo how are you okijhgfvgbhjk.

HI AINE HRU SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY i wrote it out and then it went on drafts and i lost track of time and 😞😞😞

i am okay!! things have been a little rough recently but i’m coming out on the other end of it so i’m feeling as good as i can about it all 😚✌️

anyway onto the reason why we’re here

Genshin men as animals started when cael kept mentioning the kitty, puppy, bunny debate and I completely did NOT clock that this was a nsfw concept so I was like “Zhongli is a chocolate lab.” And then I thought more about it and I was like “an old chocolate lab who lives with a small kitten (reader)” and cael was like “🚶wtf”

anyway diluc is a long hair cat and I will elaborate on such shenanigans when I get the time 😔

smut discussion under the cut

the zhongli smut was rin’s fault, i don’t remember how exactly but it was. it’s basically just…morning and lazy and sweet and warm and like nothing else. its basically just fluff but like not at the same time? basically the last time i wrote smut but a little to the left? i mean it would be mean to leave him in such a worked up state so early in the morning and not do anything to help, right?? especially if it’s not his fault, right??

#sad thing is neither of these will be out anytime soon cause bf brain is killing me #we have not had the ‘is me writing fanfic something ur uncomfortable w’ convo so i’m refraining #but also at the same time i just don’t want to 💔 #sorry to turn ur ask into a vent post BUT fanfic was a way of not feeling lonely and i don’t feel lonely anymore so i don’t feel the pull 💔💔 #minors dni #[🫂]—lovely lovely mutuals #celeste is talking to aine :)

[thesparklingwriter]

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

[thesparklingwriter]

jokes aside, i do suggest going to caels blog cause i honestly dk when im gonna be back to regular programming and their fics are always good go to them 😔✊

celeste got a boyfriend and now she doesn't write fanfics for you guys anymore

[thesparklingwriter]

AT LEAST TRY AND BE NICE ABOUT IT

celeste got a boyfriend and now she doesn't write fanfics for you guys anymore

[thesparklingwriter]

eternity

tags: smut, afab! reader, fem!reader, vanilla, gentle zhong, i think this is still kind of fluffy tbh

word count: 1.6k

a/n: merry Christmas to you all if you celebrate and an early happy birthday to zhongli. this year, i am celebrating two years of him consuming my every waking thought, dream and state of being

masterlist | taglist

You're always so surprised by how gentle your husband is with you. You're surprised that a being with so much raw power could look at someone like you, someone so fragile in comparison, and make the conscious choice to always be so careful. To always cherish everything you do with so much care.

He has never once raised his voice at you, even in times of stress or panic. His word choices are even gentler than the caring tone of his voice, or the warmth of his hand around yours.

Even after days apart, the way he kisses you is gentle, as if he knows he has all the time in the world to be with you. The way he slides his hands to the front of your silken pyjamas, a gift from him once he noticed you kept stealing his, is laced with tenderness and care. His eyes latch onto yours before he continues, and even though you can see the fire burning behind his pupils, the soft look on his face takes precedence.

You nod, answering his silent question as he pulls your lips to his, his hands lazily busying themselves with your buttons as you feel yourself being led to the bed. You know that if you did not want to follow, there would be no complaint, no pushback, and that knowledge warms you. Any attempts you make to return the favour Zhongli does for you as he frees you of your shirt are quietly ignored as he chooses to wholeheartedly focus on you.

His fingers are cautious as they glide over the bare skin of your chest, and even though he's touched you a thousand times, his eyes still seem as fixated on you as they had been the very first time.

"Is this alright?" he asks, and you reply yes, the same way you do almost every time, and his slight, serene smile finds itself on his face again as he gently pulls you towards his lap. Somewhere along the line--when, you don't remember--Zhongli's own shirt has been discarded, and you rest your hands against his bare chest as you lean in for another kiss. If you pay attention, you can feel the steady beat of his heart and the quickened pace of his breathing under your fingers, and if you hadn't felt it for yourself, you wouldn't have believed it. His fingers calmly massage circles into your back before they sneak down to the waistband of your trousers and pause there.

"Waiting for permission?" you tease quietly, pulling away from zhongli for a single second. His heavy lidded eyes are filled with a slight mirth as he smiles at your words.

"I was simply enjoying the moment," he replies, his voice low and rumbling. "I can continue, unless you have other plans?"

You smile at the way he doesn't take offence to your teasing, the way he languidly pulls the waistband of your trousers further down and helps as you try to navigate getting them off while straddling him. You're grateful that he had the foresight to remove your underwear at the same time as your trousers--you wouldn't have to figure out how to get those off.

Even the way he moves to lay you on your back is graceful. His fingers gently find their way up your thighs, and you're already agreeing to let him touch you before the words 'may I?' leave his mouth. He's careful with his ministrations, slipping one finger into you first, and letting you get used to the feeling--or rather, teasing you with it--before he adds a second, watching your face carefully to gauge his movements. He knows you like the back of his hand, he knows what the quiet whimper that escapes your mouth means, but chooses to pretend he doesn't.

"Tell me what you need, dearest." he whispers. "I'd be happy to oblige."

You fidget under him, another half-formed whimper escaping your lips before you manage to force out a single word.

"More," you whisper. "Please." your hand grips at his arm, but Zhongli doesn't seem to care as he curls his fingers inside you.

"More?" he repeats under his breath. if it weren't for the telltale rasp in his voice, you would have assumed he was unaffected by your desperate whines. "More what? I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific, my dear."

But his words are just for show and he does exactly what you know you want, a smile creeping up on his lips again as he feels your walls tightening around his fingers and your nails dig into his arm.

"Go on," He whispers. "Make a mess for me." Your eyes meet his, and even though his words are a command at face value, you hear the quiet inklings of a request in his voice, as if he needs you to cum on his fingers more than anything else in this world. The look on his face when you oblige him with a quiet whimper is nothing short of fascination and pride--he's infatuated with you, your smile, your eyes, the way you fidget under him desperate for more than one release.

"Good girl," he whispers, gently massaging your hip with his hand, scanning your face for discomfort. He doesn't find any.

He brings his other hand to his mouth, and you cover your face, the sight of him licking you off his fingers too much for you to bear.

"Hmm? What's the problem, beloved?" he asks gently, using the hand that was once massaging your hip to reveal your face to him.

"It's embarrassing," you whine, and Zhongli can't help but chuckle a little at that. He finds it humourous that this is where you draw the line but doesn't question you further, turning his attention to undoing his belt.

You hear him discard his trousers as he leans over you and captures your lips in a gentle kiss.

"Stop teasing me," you complain, and Zhongli once again chuckles, amused by the slight frustration in your face.

"I am in no particular hurry," he smiles. "Is it a crime to want to savour this moment with you?"

"Yes." you reply immediately, and Zhongli realises that perhaps his actions up to this point have been bordering on cruel.

"Very well."

Zhongli gently takes your hand in his as he lines his cock between your folds, and begins to roll his hips at an agonizingly slow pace. You think that once again, he means to tease you, to rile you up, but when you look up at up and see the devotion in his eyes... You're embarrassed for even thinking that way in the first place.

"Are you alright, love?" He whispers, gently burying his face in the crook of your neck after asking, and you nod breathlessly.

"More than alright," you reply between moans, wrapping your legs around his waist, and your arm around his neck. "You're always so good."

Your words have a stronger effect on him than he'd ever thought any person ever could, and his hips stutter and still for a few moments, disrupting the lazy rhythm he'd cultivated. He kisses your neck in response "And you always take me so perfectly."

When Zhongli lifts his head from your neck to focus his attention elsewhere, and the steady pace of his thrusting speeds up, you lace your fingers through his hair. Zhongli notices the signs of the familiar tension building in you, as you squeeze his hand tighter.

"Li, I'm—" you whine, but Zhongli doesn't even need you to finish your sentence to know what you're about to tell him. His intense gaze locks onto yours, telling you everything you could ever want to know, and you pull him back down to your neck as your orgasm consumes you.

You barely even notice when Zhongli's movement still entirely, distracted by the way his teeth catch on the soft part of your neck. You want to laugh. Zhongli has bitten on that same spot on your neck maybe a hundred times, and yet, he's still worried he might hurt or startle you. He attempts to pull away from your neck for a second to look at you, but you drag him to the side instead, wrapping your arms and legs around him tighter.

He begins to ask if you're alright, but the content sigh that slips from your mouth as you attempt to pull him even closer answers his question for him, and he takes a moment to appreciate the movement in its entirety.

He is always surprised by you, by the way you treasure him, by the way you see and appreciate the power he holds, yet treat him the same as you would had he been entirely human. He has lived for thousands of years before you, and will live for thousands of years after, and you know that, but you've never let that knowledge harden your heart or make you believe that he deserves less of you because of it.

Your fingers gently drag against his scalp, the other hand absentmindedly stroking his back, and more than anything, Zhongli is grateful that with you he doesn't have to be an archon or a god or an immortal being with all knowledge of the world and its idiosyncrasies. With you, he is just himself, and he knows you would never begrudge him for that.

"Just a little longer?" You whisper, when you feel Zhongli attempt to move again, no doubt to carry you to a bath that was designated for you, but one he would ultimately find himself in too at your wishes.

"If I were able to," Zhongli whispers back, gently moving your hair out of your face. "I would gift you eternity."

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: drops this, runs, hides, doesn't open tumblr until the 31st of dec

#I just reread this for the first time EVER and why did I eat😭😭😭😭 #why is it good 😭😭 #why don’t I write smut more often?? #minors dni #zhongli

[thesparklingwriter]

Hii!! I’ve been a fan of urs since quite a while now since like last year?? I wanna ask a question!! Is money matters finished? I see that you’ve put the link for the last chapter but however, it seemed to redirect me on one of the old chapters😭 can you do something about it in the near future!! Thank you for listening to my rants and take care<3

Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words and supporting me for so long, I really appreciate it! I want to do an epilogue for money matters to close things up so it’s not 100% completed yet, but things have been busy that its been pushed to the back of my mind 😭 thank you for letting me know about the link though! I had no clue that was happening and I’m sorry if it inconvenienced you. I’ll have a look at fixing the links today and see if I can carve out some time to finish it properly this week <3

#[📨]—inbox #celeste is talking to anon :) #sending you lots of love nonnie and take care of yourself! #money matters was my first fanfic series so I’ve learned my lesson #no other series on Thesparklingwriter.tumblr.com will ever have the money matters treatment again

[thesparklingwriter]

excuse me???

i'd like to do something fancy but i'm still trying to get into the swing of things in my new place so it might be delayed, but i'm so so grateful for all of you!

#[🫣]—celeste’s ramblings #i feel so bad that i dont have much time to dedicate to this anymore #but i will get some and will bring good fics for you all again it will just take me some time lol

[thesparklingwriter]

to be comforted

“Please never do that again."

tags: pet names, Zhongli is very pure, soft Zhongli, fem!reader, Zhongli and reader are in a relationship, reader is claustrophobic and ends up in a small space

content warning: panic attack

ao3 link | taglist | masterlist | next

thank you for the request nonnie! i went a little bit off prompt cause i didn't want to relive a particular panic attack, but if you were looking for something a bit more family related or emotional, i think you might like this one

as usual i pumped this out in 50 minutes, i will check over it with fresh eyes tomorrow blah blah blah

You’re one of those people who generally aren’t easily fazed. You’ll fight anything that comes to you in the wild, you’ll tell anyone who is irritating you where to get off. You’ve trained yourself to be like that, after years and years of being pushed around by those around you.

And you’ve taken it for granted that you no longer fear things like being abandoned or pushed around so strongly—to the point where you’ve forgotten your other fears.

“Come on, Li, let’s look in the cave.” You grin, dragging Zhongli along behind you. The man seems to have no sense of urgency, only watching you with a dazed, lovesick expression. “I want to see if I can find another cor lapis like last time.”

“This cave isn’t what I’d call structurally sound,” He grumbles, following you in. He has this strange sense that something is watching you, but he can’t put his finger on what it is. He doesn’t want to say anything, just in case it derails your fun. He decides, however, that he could just be being paranoid, so he follows you inside.

“I’ll be quick. I promise,” You grin, running inside. The tunnel is shorter than you remember, and the opening to the trove of precious stones has been blocked. You look behind you, only to see a large rock being pushed to the entrance you just walked through.

“Li? What’s going on?” You ask nervously, your vision offering a faint source of light in the new found pitch black.

“Someone has been tailing us,” he mutters. “Stay there. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Wait! Zhongli—” But he’s already teleported out of the cave, intending to catch the freak chasing the two of you in the act. He left you in there so he knew you’d be safe. By the time anyone attempted moving the other rock, he’d be back. You’d be perfectly fine.

But you’re not. You move into the middle of the enclosure you find yourself in. No door. No light. Just you. The walls feel like they’re closing on you. The air becomes thick and heavy. Every breath you take isn’t enough to fill your lungs. It starts feeling swelteringly hot, like someone’s lit a fire in the corner of the room, and the smoke is filling your lungs. You slam your hands on the rock of the entrance.

“Let me out!” You scream, your voice raw, as if you’ve been screaming for hours already. Your hands catch a sharp edge on the rock, cutting your hand, but you barely even notice. You can hear your heart beating in your ears, and you scream again, tears running down your face. You can't breathe, you can’t think. There’s no one to help you and you’re going to die in here.

You scream again. “Get me out of here!”

But again, no one comes to your aid, and you find yourself tumbling to the floor and helplessly pounding your hand against the rock. The walls are still closing in on you. There’s nowhere to go. You’re trapped. You’re going to die in this cave and no one is ever going to know you were ever here. The slight light emitting from your vision is distorted, creating shadows of figures that you know are coming to claim your life. You’re going to die.

The wall you’re leaning on crumbles and your upper body falls to the ground. You don’t even have the energy to catch yourself—your eyes are firmly shut, your chest rising and falling frantically as if you were simply waiting for death to take you, but you were still afraid of the concept. If it weren’t for a pair of gloved hands catching you, your head would have hit the floor.

“You’re wounded,” Zhongli bundles you up into his arms, teleporting you back home almost immediately. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He was gone for two minutes maximum, and he had no clue you were afraid of small spaces. This is all his fault.

“Would you take a deep breath for me?” He says softly. Your face is buried into his chest, and all he can hear is your muffled sobs. But he feels you heave some fresh air into your lungs. “That’s it. Can you do another?”

You do it again. Even though your heart hasn’t slowed down, your breathing begins to settle. When you realise you’re in his arms, you relax slightly. You feel safe, like he’ll protect you from any harm that may come to pass. He presses his hand against yours, trying to slow the blood flow whilst he waits for you to calm down a little. He sits down on the sofa, and you curl into him, your uninjured hand gripping his desperately.

“I sincerely apologise. I wasn’t aware you were claustrophobic. I should have handled the situation differently.” You push your face into his chest again, breathing in the comforting scent of his musky cologne. He’s here. He’s real. “I’m truly sorry.” he whispers, gently uncurling his hand from around yours. It’s not too bad of an injury, but he can’t leave you like this.

“What can I do to ease your suffering?” Zhongli asks as he pulls his handkerchief from his pocket.

“Please never do that again,” you whisper. Zhongli feels tears prick at his eyes. You sound so helpless, so small, so hurt by his actions. He’d thought of the simplest solution for him, and not what would be best for you. He was selfish.

“I won't let this happen again.” He replies back, gently wrapping his handkerchief around your hand. “Should I get you some water?”

“Don't leave,” you mutter, your grip on his shirt growing tighter. “Don't leave me again.”

“I won’t.” He mutters back, lowering his head to kiss your forehead—a gentle reminder that he’s here, and he has no intention of leaving.

When you’ve calmed down enough for your shaking to cease, and your vice on his shirt to loosen, he cleans your hand up properly, and gives you a cup of warm tea to sip on. He apologises profusely whenever the opportunity presents itself.

“Should I run you a bath?” he asks you softly, running his fingers through your hair.

“I don’t feel like being alone right now.” you reply. “Would you join me?”

“Of course,” he smiles.

And it's like that, with your back pressed against his firm chest and the warm caress of the water relaxing your tense muscles, that you fall asleep in his arms, the worries of the day beginning to melt away as you snore softly.

a/n forgot to mention Zhongli's half-dragon in the last bit and now i can't make it fit but i'm pushing rin's dragon zhongli agenda and you can't stop me ^^

[thesparklingwriter]

a technological affair

" And thus, his email was lost to the grips of hackers."

tags: modern au, pet names, gn!reader (use of wife), established relationship, zhongli cannot use a phone for the life of him, reader is an Apple enjoyer,

ao3 link | taglist | masterlist | next

As far as you’re concerned, Zhongli is the closest thing to perfection a man could ever be. Except for one very minor detail. He cannot, for the life of him, use a phone.

Which could be blamed on his 30,000 year old android, with a screen that barely functions and a cracked camera, and you really can't let him go out like that. So one day, as an advance on your anniversary gift for him, you decide to welcome him to the wonderful world of the iPhone.

“What’s this?” Zhongli says, opening the box carefully. “What have I done to warrant such a gift?” he holds the phone in his hands as if it’s a baby chick—you bought him one of the bigger phones, knowing his hands are large, and even still he could do with something bigger.

“You dropped your phone in the toilet and I can’t allow you to continue using it. You have to understand.” You grin. “So I got you a new one that actually works and when you tap the screen, it actually registers it.”

Zhongli looks at you with gratitude but also an inkling of confusion. What’s he going to do with this fancy, characterless lump of metal that he couldn't do with his old phone? “I appreciate this, my love, I really do. But I don’t know if this is going to be as good of an idea as you think it is.”

You scoff, pulling him into a hug. “Zhongli, I would like to actually hear my husband when I call him. I would like to understand the texts he sends to me. And I would also like to send him pictures of cute cats on Instagram.”

And of course, Zhongli couldn’t possibly deny you anything you ask of him, so he agrees to try to navigate this new phone with as much positivity and faith as he can possibly muster.

In the few weeks since you bought him the phone, he has managed to:

(1) Lock himself out of it. For a whole week. You asked him how he managed to do that and he didn’t seem too sure as to what he’d done. So you asked him if you could know his password and promised only to use it in situations like this. (And promptly cried when you realised his password was your birthday.)

(2) Get his email hacked. He’d approached you with excitement, saying: “Dear, look. I got an email saying I’ve won a Macbook.” To which you replied: “You can barely use your phone, we might need to leave the macbook on the back burner for a while. Who sent the email?”. The email was sent by [email protected] and contained a link, which Zhongli had happily pressed. And thus, his email was lost to the grips of hackers.

(3) Find the dictation and voice note feature, which is great. He gives you encyclopaedic updates to his day, which you read or listen to with genuine enthusiasm. This was what you bought him the phone for at the end of the day, right? The extra chance to connect with your husband?

(4) Get into the habit of sending you pictures of things that make him happy or that remind him of you. Which is essentially the same thing as far as he is concerned. You’ve also got used to sending them back.

(5) Make an Instagram account. He’s not great at it, but with some guidance, he manages to post some of the pictures he sends you.

(6) Accidentally message the group chat (you, Xiao, Ganyu, Madame Ping and some others use it to invite each other to dignified tea parties and movie marathons) his shopping list. The shopping list included all the things he was getting for you as part of your anniversary gift, so Xiao had to teach him how to delete the message so you wouldn’t see it.

But by the time your next anniversary comes around, he’s actually really good with it—he can use instagram better than you can (though he read the terms and conditions from start to finish and became very careful about how he uses it), orders things from amazon at least three times a week, and has a facebook group for fellow birdwatchers with about two hundred people in it.

Yes, he has all of his icons and text at the largest size possible, and yes, he refuses to use TikTok and favours Instagram reels, but when he’s on work trips or you’re visiting friends elsewhere in the world, it’s nice to be able to video call him and not feel as distant as you used to.

“I think this phone might have been the best gift you’ve ever gotten me, dearest.” he says one night, after discovering the kindle app, where he can find all the classic novels he loves so much without having to clear out bookshelf space.

You sit in bed together, simply talking about your respective days, both your phones banished to charge in another room. Of course, being able to use a phone doesn’t mean that you should at all times—the phone banishment rule had initially just existed for you, but the rules had to accommodate the new technical whiz in the house.

“What about the gift that is me?” you counter, nuzzling into his chest gleefully. He kisses you deeply, a smile on his lips as he pulls away.

“Nothing on this earth is better than the gift that is you.”

“Not even your group of birdwatchers?”

“I did get to see a wonderful example of a nearly extinct sparrow with beautiful colouring last week,” he teases. “But no, they could never be better than my beloved.”

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: you all have cael to thank for this hilarious prompt idea. this is why you should always make friends with people on tumblr they always slay.

taglist: @medusuu @aixaingela @thelonelyarchon @ainescribe

[thesparklingwriter]

to love a dragon

Perhaps, he thinks to himself, there’s more than one dragon in this house.

tags: established relationship, gn!reader, zhongli is half dragon i have warned you, fluff, literally no plot to this sorry

masterlist | ao3 link | taglist | next

You’ve already settled yourself in the living room when Zhongli finally returns home. He’s been needed over the past few nights for the funeral of a high-ranking dignitary, and despite his protests, you like to stay up waiting for him, using the time to catch up on a new novel. Of course, he can’t deny that he enjoys coming home to see you waiting patiently for him, your head tilted to the side as you tear through your book. 

“I’m home,” Zhongli mutters as he crosses the threshold, taking his shoes off. You watch over the top of your book as he takes off his coat and blazer. His movements are graceful but wearier than usual, his perfect posture ever so slightly slumped, and his amber eyes laced with exhaustion.

“Long day?” You ask him as he approaches you, raising your head to kiss him lightly. Zhongli nods.

“It’s been…troublesome at best,” he chuckles lightly, sinking into the seat beside you as you open your arms and tug him closer to you. “How has your day been, love?”

You laugh. Your day hasn’t been particularly easy either, but you’re loath to bothering him with petty problems, especially when it pertains to hillichurls. “It’s been a day,” you respond, gently guiding his head to your shoulder so you can run your hands through his hair. “You seem tired.”

You feel him sigh, as he wraps his arms around you, his clawed nails slightly digging into your sides. His expression is blissful as he shifts his head to rest against your chest. It makes you laugh when he’s like this, on the rare days where he doesn’t feel like talking and just wants to be in the same space as you. It also goes straight to your head. The esteemed, educated consultant of the funeral parlour comes home from work to shove his face in his beloved’s chest and complain about his ‘troublesome’ day.

“My, my, how unseemly.” you tease, gently dragging your nails against his scalp. Any attempt to move away from him results in his tail shamelessly grabbing at you before settling around your waist again, gently rubbing circles into your side.

“I sincerely apologise,” Zhongli replies, but you can’t detect any remorse in his tone as he relaxes even more into your touch. “You smell like hilichurls.”

“Possibly because I’ve been fighting them all day.” You shift your hands as you feel his horns erupt from his head, focussing your fingers elsewhere. “Does that offend you?” You could easily stay like this for hours on end without a single care in the world.

He nods. “Take your jumper off.”

“How would the people of Liyue react to seeing their archon in such a state?” You smile, as you oblige him. Regardless of how much you tease him, you know how sensitive he is to scents, especially when they aren’t yours. He gives a satisfied hum before returning to where he was before with an indulgent sigh.

“Given how much you tease me, I’d hope that they’d have pity on me.”

You chuckle again, kissing the top of his head. “I doubt it. Has the smell of the hilichurls gone away or are you going to request that I take my shirt off too?”

“Is that an offer?” he asks, the hopeful tone in his voice impossible to miss.

“No.”

“Then I suppose I shall have to cope with it.” He grumbles. You laugh at him then, unable to hold back your amusement.

“Tell me more about your day. What’s made you feel so downbeat that your only cure is treating me like your personal pillow?”

Of course, Zhongli could have told you that he dropped his pen, and that would have been sufficient evidence for his current behaviour to you. As much as you tease him, you’d give him anything he asked of you in a heartbeat. He begins to tell you about the day he’s had, the deep timbre of his voice a soothing lullaby for your exhausted mind. Being around him always seems to make you feel sleepy, as well the gentle purring that’s coming from his chest.

“Am I boring you, love?” He asks upon noticing that your fingers have stopped moving and your breathing has slowed slightly. You don’t respond, a half-formed snore bubbling in your throat. He smiles softly at the way you’ve dozed off, conflicted as to whether he should risk waking you up for the sake of your neck. He decides it is more important that you wake up without aches and pains, moving his arm to gently sit up, but you tighten your grip on him despite being fast asleep.

Perhaps, he thinks to himself, there’s more than one dragon in this house.

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: cael was texting me as i was queueing this. this damn post took me like half an hour to set up. don't say i do work hard for you guys. i can not believe its gonna be september when this is posted wow

taglist: @ainescribe @thelonelyarchon @aixaingela @medusuu

[thesparklingwriter]

a world of our own

“At least allow me to wake up properly first.”

tags: established relationship, fem!reader, fluff, reincarnation, zhongli is napping!!!!! how strange!!!!!

masterlist | ao3 link | taglist | next

The god of contracts is a man of routine. There is a correct time for him to eat, a correct time for him to sleep, and it has been this way for years. For centuries at a time, he indulges himself in the comfort of consistency and routine. If you asked him about it, he would tell you that there’s a lot to be said for discipline, especially when its self imposed. But the truth of it is entirely different.

The routine distracts him from the fact that you are not around and he relishes in the comfort that comes from it. He can reminisce about you and the time you had together, while he goes about his day, without getting paralysed by the thoughts.

When you come back to him, however, after years of him waiting for you to be reincarnated, the routine seems to change. Instead of him heading to bed immediately as the clock strikes ten, you might find him waiting a little longer so that he can to drag you to bed. And even if, by a stroke of luck, you both manage to be in bed by ten, he can never resist asking you about your day and listening to you recount it in detail. Sure, he might wake up at seven in the morning every day without fail, but he often finds himself smiling at you as you sleep, and before he knows it, time has run away from him, and you’re waking up and bringing him along with your morning routine.

You would never truly know the extent of the routines Zhongli has stored in his head, and he makes sure of that, because he would never want you to change the way you live to humour him. Maybe he finds eating dinner at nine pm strange, but he’ll ignore it for you.

But when you’re out running errands on a weekend and Zhongli finds himself in a empty house, he might find himself instinctively heading to kitchen for his four o clock tea, or tempted to pick up a book as six pm draws near.

“Zhongli?” You call out, pulling the door shut with your foot. “I got the lea leaves you said we were out of,” when you don’t hear a response, you assume he’s in his study, or perhaps in the garden, so you set to putting your purchases away. But it’s strange—Zhongli always notices when you return home. He almost always comes to find you immediately. So the silence is strange. You go into your room to change, and then pass by the living room on your way to his study, and find him sat on his armchair with a book on his lap.

“There you are,” You smile, leaning over the back of the chair and kissing the top of his head softly. It takes you a second to realise that he’s not ignoring you because he’s reading.

He’s napping.

The thought makes you laugh. Never in the years you’ve been married to him have you ever caught your husband mid nap, and even though the sight is strange, it also makes sense. His posture remains as perfect as it when he’s awake, and his head doesn't even droop slightly as he breathes in and out slowly.

You pause. What do you do in this situation? You circle around the chair to face him, laughing quietly at the somewhat stern expression that graces his sleeping face. 

“Deus Auri,” you say quietly in a teasing voice. “What would the people of Liyue think if they saw you now, hmm?”

You gently cradle his face in your hand and decide that if you don’t convince him to lie down, he’ll wake up in pain somewhere.

“Come on, up you get,” you say softly, gently tugging at his hands. He opens his eyes ever so slightly, smiling when he gets a glimpse of you.

“You’ve returned,” he says.

“I have.” you reply, and he smiles a little more. “Come.”

Zhongli clears his throat as you take his book off his lap and rises to his feet. Of course, you would never truly receive the pleasure of having him lean on you even slightly, for despite his sleepy disposition, he thinks it would be rude of him to expect that of you.

“Where are we going, beloved?” He asks. His voice betrays him, the slightest edge of sleepiness audible in the way he ever so slightly slurs the end of his words.

“I’m taking you to bed.” You say simply.

“At least allow me to wake up properly first.”

You stare slack jawed at Zhongli, surprised that even in his half asleep state he can find the energy to make such jokes. He stares back at you, a devious glint in his eyes.

“That’s not necessary.” You laugh, opening the door to your shared room and ushering him in. “If you’re going to sleep, for the sake of your neck, please lie down first.”

“I had no intentions of sleeping originally,” Zhongli replies, humouring the way you fuss and fret over him and tuck him into bed, muttering questions about how an archon, someone who was entrusted to take care of a whole nation, could not take care of himself. For a brief second he thinks this is hyperbole on your part, but says nothing.

“Whether you had intentions of sleeping or not, my point still stands.” You kiss his forehead softly, and he uses the action to take your hand.

“You’re not staying.”

“I’m not. I—”

“Stay.” And maybe if your husband didn’t have such a hold on you, you might have told him that you had plans for the rest of your evening, or that you wanted to shower. You might have declined and told him to get the rest he clearly needed. But when he looks at you with those deep amber eyes, eyes you’ve stared into a thousand times yet could never get tired of, you cave.

“Ten minutes. And then I’m going back to the other things I need to do.” You reply, avoiding his gaze.

“Ten minutes,” Zhongli concedes, pulling back the covers and allowing you to pull him into your arms. His daily routine has already been thrown off for the day, so what’s ten more minutes when it’s with the person he loves?

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: hi drops this leaves again, i spent so long trying to think about how zhongli falls asleep and i've decided he doesn't drift off he just... BOOM falls asleep and he wakes up in the same way. i also dont think he'd be a napper but i think his body would get used to having a solid 8 hours of sleep so if that gets disrupted his body automatically try to get the time back somehow out of habit but basically this means no sleepy zhongli. maybe if he was ill. maybe if he was dying. maybe i will test my theory. how far would i go to test this theory? idk i feel like bringing chaos this year

taglist: @thelonelyarchon @aixaingela @medusuu