traitors-and-threats

[traitors-and-threats]

This is so beautifully written that tears uncontrollably escaped my eyes. This is truly magnificent.

Moonlight & Shadows (aleksander morozova x fem!moon summoner!reader)

READ PART 1 HERE

AUTHOR’S NOTE: this is the requested part two to another request i had gotten previously so PLEASE read that first. it’ll make it easier for you to understand this one :) apologies in advance for how long this is… i got very carried away.

requested by: @sloppyzengarden

as always.. PLEASE SEND ME YOUR LOVELY REQUESTS <33

warnings: major character death, spoilers for season 2, canon typical violence, mentions of blood. slightly (?) ooc (?) mal

word count: 17.5k

-

Tendrils of shadow weaved themselves between your glowing fingers and you tapped them, watching as the darkness of the shadows fizzled into a soft silvery shower of tiny sparks.

Your delicate hand was clasped tightly in Aleksander’s much larger, scarred one. A black mark covered the back of his hand where the bone of the stag used to sit, fused into his skin.

With your free hand and his, the two of you absentmindedly messed around with your powers, something the two of you did often. He claimed you should use it often and that’s why he did it, but you suspected it was because he enjoyed watching your light consume his shadows and turn them into silvery, moonlit sparks.

You sat on one of his thighs while your legs were draped across the other and you laid your head down on his shoulder. Every now and then, he’d turn to press a kiss to the side of your face. Despite the situation you were in, the pressures you both were under, you’d never felt so adored.

You pulled back just a bit to look up at his face to admire him. Black scars now decorated his beautiful face and there was a different roughness to him ever since you had found him, emerging from The Fold.

He didn’t like his scars, but to you, they were just another part of the man you loved so dearly. Every part of him was so beautiful to you.

As if sensing your stare, he slowly turned his head downwards and gazed at you through his half-lidded, tired eyes.

“What’re you staring at, little one?” He asked and reached down to run just the tips of his calloused fingers over your cheek.

“Just you. What else?” You answered honestly, and he simply let out a short laugh.

He didn’t respond in any other way, instead deciding to wrap both of his arms around your waist. You laid your hands on his chest and rested your cheek against his collarbone, eyes falling shut slowly. Comfort washed over you like a warm rain and you gathered the lapels of his kefta in your fists, holding yourself as close to him as you possibly could.

Most of your nights ended like this, together. Ever since you had found him, crawling out of The Fold with his nichevo'ya following behind him, he’d held you just a little bit tighter when he got the chance to. He hadn’t allowed you to board the skiff with him and Alina on that fateful day where everything went terribly wrong. He’d instead had Ivan put you to sleep and left you in his tent back at the army encampment. When you woke, you could feel him. All of him. All of his pain, his suffering, and most of all, you could feel the way he was calling for you. You heard it in your mind, and it led you all the way to the edge of The Fold. When he came stumbling out, you ran to him, taking him into your capable arms.

When you promised him forever, you meant just that.

You’d always known there was a darkness within Aleksander. A darkness that was more than just the shadows he controlled.

A darkness that you’d taken in whole and accepted as part of the man you loved.

There was much unspoken between the two of you, much that was unnecessary to speak. He knew you better than you knew yourself, and at this point, you liked to believe that you knew him better than he did.

“You ought to be getting some sleep, my precious Saint.” He whispered and placed a kiss against the side of your head.

“I do not wish to, not yet.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I am comfortable here with you.” You replied and looked up at him. His face was soft, a sight you’d seldom seen before his emergence from The Fold. You felt a twinge of sadness in your stomach and he must have noticed it on your face, because he cupped your face with one hand and leaned down towards you.

“Oh, my love. None of that. Do not pity me. I am alive and I am well. You are mine, I am yours, we will emerge victorious through it all, all is right. All is well.” he cooed in a tone that could’ve convinced you that the sky was green rather than blue.

His warm lips pressed themselves against your temple and he drew you in closer to himself until you were completely covered in him.

“My beautiful Saint of the Moon, sleep now. I will not let go of you.” he promised in that same velvet tone, and it was enough to make you close your eyes.

“But you need your sleep, too, moi soverenyi.” you whispered to him, but you felt his finger tap your lips.

“I will sleep once I know you have comfortably fallen into your very own slumber. As I do every night.” he replied and you nuzzled your face into the side of his chest.

You listened to the shallow beating of his heart underneath your cheek and you focused on the rise and fall of his chest, never wanting to move from the spot you’d taken up residency in for the night. The distant sound of his heart lulled you to sleep, slowly at first, and then your exhaustion came down on you like an avalanche, pulling you down into its clutches.

-

“Do you think perhaps once we find the last amplifier that I could have a bit of it, too?” you asked softly, watching as Aleksander flipped through a leather bound book on the table in front of the two of you.

Vladim, a small Alkemi pushed another book towards Aleksander and he let out a discontented hum.

“But of course, my little moonbeam. Anything you would like shall be yours.” he mumbled distractedly and you heard a snort from the other side of the room. You glanced over at Baghra who sat in her cage, eyeing you with contempt.

“Feeling like a little house kitten yet, Miss y/l/n?” Baghra asked and Aleksander’s head perked up.

“Speak not to my Moon Summoner, woman. Keep your spite to yourself and rot with it, mother.” he said sharply and then as if he had to apologize, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “Do ignore her. She couldn’t possibly understand the capacity of that which I love you.” he murmured and then picked up another book.

“Please. You know little of love, Aleksander. You’ll have your fun with your pet and then once the novelty wears off, you’ll want another. Something else to gain.” she said with a sense of pride that made you curl your fingers into fists.

“Last I checked, Baghra, I was not the one collared and chained to a skiff. My presence is entirely voluntary.” you snapped, referring to Alina.

“Voluntary because you choose to show him what tricks you’ve learned. Because you derive your pride and pleasures on making him proud. Proud of the tricks he taught you. You-“

“Enough!” Aleksander yelled and turned towards Baghra, “Bitter hag. Make your assumptions to yourself, for you know little of what you speak.” he snapped and the room fell entirely silent.

His arm wrapped around your middle and he pulled you into his side tightly.

“You can have whatever you like. If you desire The Firebird, then I shall give it to you on a silver platter.” he repeated and then stared down at you, his eyes steely, “A queen deserves that much.”

A warm feeling, much akin to drunkenness, filled your chest as you looked up at Aleksander and he trailed his eyes away from the journal in his hands. He looked down upon your face and then he sighed.

“Stop gazing at me like that. We have things to do today and if I catch your affectionate stare once more, I will want nothing else but to stare back.” He replied and then he set the journal down and clutched your hands in his.

He gave you a soft smile and then he ducked down to place a delicate kiss on your cheekbone.

“My dear girl, would you be so kind as to fetch me the notebook that is in our room?” He asked softly and you looked up at him, giving his hands a soft squeeze.

“Of course. Give me a moment, I’ll be right back.” You promised and he moved in to give you one more peck on the side of your face and you felt your cheeks heat up.

Once he had released your hands and turned back to his work with Vladim, you walked out into the hallway, humming quite contently to yourself.

You rounded the corner to your bedroom when a hand closed itself around your arm. You spun around urgently only to see Genya standing behind you, her lips pursed in a frown.

“Y/n,” she began, speaking in a tone not much louder than a simple breath, “I am hoping you will find it within yourself to help me.”

You gazed into the red headed girl’s eyes and you blinked a couple of times, reaching up to gently lay your hand on her forearm.

“You look ever so frightened, Genya.”

“I need your help-“

“Yes but you are shaking.” You protested, cutting her off.

“That is why I need your help!” She exclaimed and then she leaned her face into her hands, “I did not mean to raise my voice to you, I apologize, y/n.”

You’d never seen her act so skittish before and it struck a chord of worry deep within you.

“Oh, please no. Don’t apologize. Just tell me what you need, darling.” You breathed, trying to be as soft and kind as you could be to the anxiety ridden girl.

“David and I-“ Once again, the girl was cut off by a bloodcurdling scream behind the two of you, and you slowly turned around.

The scream resonated in your bones, it nearly made you shiver with its proximity. You’d heard that kind of scream many times before; someone was in great pain.

Determined footsteps followed just a moment later and they echoed down the hall, coming closer to the two of you.

Genya let go of your arm instantly and she turned the opposite corner and took off in a fast walk, leaving you standing in confusion. Just as you went to walk to your bedroom, another hand caught your arm and you looked up to see Aleksander.

He did not look down at you this time. His face, though stoic, had a burning fury bubbling just underneath the skin, and you could see this through his dark eyes. His jaw was set so tightly you thought he might shatter each and every one of his teeth. You had not been around an angry Aleksander before. Either he displayed his anger elsewhere, or he was just very skilled at keeping it at bay. Whatever the case may have been, the apoplectic glint in his eyes made you frown and you wanted to make yourself very small in that moment.

“My love?” You whispered and reached up to place your hand on top of his as he held your upper arm.

His restraint was impressive. For someone who had eons rage just beneath the surface, he held your arm so gently that you would have believed him to be much happier if you’d felt his touch without seeing his face.

After just a moment, he tipped his head down towards you and he gave you a very, very tense look.

“I have acquired amplifiers for you and I.” He said simply and then he let his fingers fall away from your arm before he gently brushed past you and strode down the hall.

You wondered where he could have found an amplifier so instantaneously and you turned around and made your way back into the room he had just left.

Vladimi stood at his table with a semi-disgusted look on his face and you stared at him for a moment before you dared to look over at Baghra, who had her hand cradled against her chest. Blood slipped through her fingers at a rapid rate and dribbled onto the floor beneath her. You questioned what had happened and turned to Vladim to ask, though, you wished you hadn’t, because the boy held a dish with one severed finger sitting upon it.

Your mouth fell open and you looked between Vladim and Baghra rapidly before you retreated out of the room, feeling rather sick to your stomach.

-

You hadn’t seen Aleksander all day. Not since he informed you that you now had an amplifier. The thought made you shiver.

You had never been fond of Baghra, in fact, the two of you had a very tumultuous acquaintanceship. She was very well aware of the fact that you stood with her son at all times, completely devoted to him. Just as you were well aware she was completely devoted to his downfall. The two beliefs didn’t match up, and neither did the two of you. That didn’t necessarily mean you wanted her to be dismembered in the name of your own gain.

It wasn’t as if you were angry with Aleksander, though. Truth be told, you were a bit afraid of him at the moment. You had never seen the man angry before. He was smart, he played his cards right, and he was cautious to never show you his anger, his contempt. Perhaps it was because he knew just how terrifying he could be. He didn’t need a gun, he didn’t need weaponry of any kind, he didn’t even need to raise his voice. All Aleksander needed to invoke fear was a simple change in his eyes, and the look in them earlier was enough to send a biting chill down to your very bones. And you weren’t even the subject of his anger.

You finished your ninth slow lap around the grounds of the sanctuary and you rubbed your cold nose a few times, letting out a little sigh. You’d been outside walking for quite some time now, trying to decide what to do next. You wanted to thank Aleksander for the amplifier, but you also wanted to ask him why. You wanted to go inside and sit on his thigh while he pondered by his window, but you didn’t want to see his anger. So you instead went for your tenth circle around the grounds, only getting started before someone cleared their throat near you.

You turned your head to see David walking alongside you now and you gave him a little smile. He didn’t smile back.

“Is there anything I can do for you, David?” You asked, keeping the polite smile on your face as you spoke to him.

“Yes. I need to ask something of you. I would never ask if I wasn’t completely desperate.” He mumbled and then looked away from you.

“Ask.” You instructed, and you were almost surprised with how your tone resembled Aleksander’s.

David must have thought the same thing because his eyes shot towards you and he studied your face for a moment before he shook his head.

“I am… leaving. With Genya. I need you to keep The Darkling… occupied. For the evening. Please, y/n. I know very well of your devotion to him, I know what I risk by asking this of you, but I saw your eyes today, when you realized what he’d done to Baghra. You are afraid of him. So are we. Please, I beg you to let us go. Let us escape. Buy us some time.” He explained, not bothering to hide the desperation in his voice.

You eyed him and pursed your lips. A bit of your own anger began to build and you let out a little scoff.

“Do you realize what you ask of me? You want me to deceive the man who protects me? Who protects you? All of us? David, he saved Genya. He saved you, and all you can do to repay him is run?” You asked incredulously, your eyes narrowing.

“He is no man! He is evil in its truest form. He commands wicked things, horrible things. He inspires nothing a man who saves his people should inspire. He inspires fear! Pure fear!” David protested and then stopped walking, causing you to stop as well.

You looked the Durast up and down in disgust and you clenched your hands into fists.

“You only fear what you don’t understand. Just because you cannot see the beauty in his nature does not mean it isn’t there. You and Genya are ingrates. You should be ashamed of yourselves. He saved you, took you in, gives you purpose and a shelter in a country where Grisha are being hunted every single day-“

“And why are they being hunted now?” David asked sharply, cutting you off.

“Because they fear what they don’t understand!” You exclaimed, “Just as you do! Just as Genya does! My answer is no. I will not aid in your abandonment. If you wish to run, do so at your own risk. I hide nothing from my Darkling.” You hissed, squaring your shoulders as you stared up at David.

The mild-mannered man looked down at you in a sort of disbelief and then he shook his head.

“I cannot have you tell him what we have planned.” He said somberly and reached out for your arm, but you jumped back as quickly as he moved forward.

“I will tell him what I please!” You shrieked and held your hand up threateningly, the silvery light of the moon glowing just beneath your skin, “It would do you well to not try and stop me, David Kostyk.” You warned before you stepped back once more. You stared at him for just a moment longer before you took off back towards the sanctuary, running with intent. You looked back just once to see him running in the opposite direction. Frustration filled your chest and you ran even faster up to the doors. You flung them open once you reached them and dashed inside. It took all the self control you had not to scream Aleksander’s name, and as soon as you came running through the halls, Genya went running past you and you gasped.

You ran down the hall to your bedroom, your footsteps graceless and loud as you stampeded towards the room and you pushed the door open.

Aleksander sat in his chair and when the door flew open, he slowly looked up at you.

If he was angry still, there was no trace of it left on his face and in his eyes. Instead he looked exhausted, pained, regretful.

You let out a loud cry of frustration and you pointed towards the hall, out of breath.

“Genya and David are deserting!” You cried out.

That got his attention and he stood as quickly as you got the words out. He grabbed his cloak from off of the table it laid on and he nodded towards the door.

“Come then.” He commanded simply and he stormed out of the room and you followed behind him, your chest heaving.

He pulled his cloak on as he walked and then reached back to grab your wrist and pull you closer to him.

“How do you know they are deserting?” He asked you as the pair of you made your way outside towards his horse.

“David. He asked me to keep you distracted while he ran with Genya.” You admitted and Aleksander looked down at you with wide eyes.

“Then I suppose we will have to put a stop to that, won’t we?” He asked in a hum.

As soon as you reached his horse, he hoisted you up onto the animal and climbed on behind you and kicked the horse in the side, getting it to move.

You looked out across the clearing before you and you saw Genya’s head bobbing above and beneath the tops of shrubbery and twiggy bushes.

“There.” You said and pointed towards the distance, and Aleksander didn’t waste any time in steering his horse in that same direction.

You placed your hands on top of his gently and you let out a very quiet sigh.

“I am sorry, my love.” You whispered and you could feel him shake his head behind you.

“This is not your doing, I will not have you apologetic for the actions of others.” He replied and simply urged his horse on faster until the only sound you heard was the thundering of the animal’s hooves.

The two of you chased the girl up a few paths until you rounded a corner and he called out for her viciously.

“Stand and answer me!” He shouted determinedly.

Genya was cornered. There was nowhere else for her to run now that she was stuck between some old ruins and you and Aleksander. Your lover threw himself off of the horse and you stayed up on its back, staring down at him as he stalked towards her.

His hood hung over his head ominously, and the ground beneath his feet blackened in little tendrils, all radiating out from him. Genya was shaking like a frightened animal and her eyes darted between you and Aleksander in terror.

Normally, you probably would’ve felt pity for the scared girl, but all you felt in that moment was a white hot twinge of frustration .

How dare she so easily abandon the man who saved her life? The man who wanted nothing but peace for his people.

You stared coldly at the girl and you straightened up your shoulders, your jaw setting sternly.

Aleksander pushed his hood off of his head as he approached the Tailor and he looked around the small clearing.

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked lowly, still approaching Genya, “I rescue you from certain death, yet you abandon me.” His tone was calm, so soft that it was eerie.

She looked up at you as if you might save her from her fate, but you simply watched her as if this was nothing but a show put on for your own entertainment, a silly little attempt at your amusement.

Her face became one of anger and she whipped her head towards Aleksander.

“You used me to satisfy a king. I should be your greatest shame,” she replied, her voice trembling just as hard as she was, “Please,” she began, tears forming in her wide blue eyes, “just let me go.” She wasn’t begging, she wasn’t asking. She was trying to reason with him.

She turned towards you and then she let out a fragment of a gasp.

“And you! Who have you become? You were my friend!” She cried and pointed at you shakily.

You raised an eyebrow and then let out a long sigh. You tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear and you shifted on the horse.

“You speak of things you have no possible capacity of knowing.” You replied in an even tone.

“Please, just let me go.” She repeated, eyes still on you as if you were going to speak up on her behalf.

You weren’t.

“I’m afraid not.” Aleksander spoke, and you tore your eyes away from Genya just in time to see one of his nichevo'ya rise up from the ground at his side, “I need you, Genya.” He added, approaching her with small steps, his side half consumed by the cyclonic billowing of shadows that made up his new creatures of nothing.

Genya jammed her hand into her coat and yanked out a gun, and without hesitation, shot into the nichevo'ya. The misshapen humanlike form of shadow moved toward her, followed by Aleksander and she made one last look up at you before the nichevo'ya wrapped itself around her and she let out a gut twisting scream.

You averted your eyes from the scene in front of you and pushed down the little sliver of guilt that prodded at your throat.

She deserved it. She was going to desert you. She betrayed Aleksander, she would have gone straight to Alina.

You closed your eyes and took a few slow breaths before you opened them again and exhaled slowly. You kept your eyes on your hands now as Genya continued to scream and for only a second, you thought you tasted but a lick of the fear that compelled Genya and David.

-

Aleksander was nearly doubled over coughing when you entered your room. You approached him with caution to make sure you didn’t startle him, and you laid your hand gently on his back, passing him a handkerchief from the pocket of your kefta.

He took it from you very gently and held it over his mouth as he continued to cough. After a few moments of this, he straightened up slowly and lowered the handkerchief. He dropped it on the chair he was clutching onto and you didn’t dare look at it, afraid of what you might find.

His eyes found your face and he reached out for you, his hand sliding gently around your neck as he pulled you into his chest.

“I know that look. I’ve told you not to pity me.” He mumbled and tucked your head against his chest. His voice was hoarse and he sounded exhausted, but you let him pull you close nonetheless and wrapped your arms around him tightly.

“Aleksander, I do not pity you. I worry for you. Grisha do not get sick, yet you cough and are burdened with headaches. I have the right to worry. I lo…” you slowly trailed off and let out a small huff. You didn’t let yourself finish, instead, you pressed your face against his kefta and closed your eyes tightly.

Many of the emotional things between you and Aleksander went unspoken, and it had always been this way. You weren’t doubtful that he loved you, just as he wasn’t doubtful that you loved him. Nonetheless, it was a word that fell into the realm of the unspoken.

You never knew why.

Perhaps it was that it had a deeper meaning than just the affection you two held for one another. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to proclaim your love for him in verbal form. But he never did. Not in such a direct way. For you, not telling Aleksander that you loved him was simply because he never did either, but for him, you theorized that it was much deeper. Maybe it was because he didn’t love you- which you didn’t believe for one moment- or maybe it was because the last time he claimed love for someone, they were murdered before his very eyes. Or perhaps it was because the moment he said it aloud, he would give up the very thing that kept him impenetrable to his enemies: he would give up his supposed invincibility.

To his enemies, The Darkling didn’t have weaknesses. He didn’t falter, and he didn’t hesitate.

To most of them at least. It was no secret that you two were close, and Alina knew that much. Though, you didn’t fear Alina. Neither did he.

But you were his weakness, just as he was yours. You admittedly had many more weaknesses than he, your so few years on this earth leaving you with soft spots that had yet to harden. He had the luxury of having those soft spots hidden behind walls and steel and stone.

His hand slid away from your neck and up into your hair as you stood silently in your thoughts, and his fingers curled protectively against your scalp.

“You worry for such trivial things, angel.” He replied quietly.

It wasn’t trivial.

Not to you.

If he didn’t get the third amplifier before Alina did, you knew that his use of merzost freely would poison him until his heart finally did stop for the first time in over five hundred years.

You didn’t say anything more. You just kept your face hidden against his chest and you clung to him, desperate to have him as close to you as possible. Especially tonight. Especially after Genya.

The two of you hadn’t said a word on the matter, and you knew it was because Aleksander knew he’d frightened you, even if you did try to mask it with a replica of the hard facade of his that you coveted so deeply at times.

A knock on the door broke your silence and pulled you away from your wondering thoughts and Aleksander gently pulled your head away from his chest with the grip he had on your hair. He leaned down and pressed one delicate kiss to your lips before he let go of you and cleared his throat.

“Yes?” He called and the door opened briskly.

His unofficial right hand, Fruzsi stepped into the room and she approached the two of you instantly.

“General, Miss y/l/n.” She greeted with reverence.

Aleksander hardly acknowledged her greeting and instead turned his body towards her and let out a quiet wheeze before he spoke.

“The moment Genya is conscious, let’s take her and make sure the others understand what awaits them if they are disloyal.” He instructed and you bit the inside of your cheek. You didn’t want to be part of that.

“With pleasure.” Fruzsi replied obediently and clutched her hands in front of her as she bowed her head just slightly at Aleksander.

He turned back around and faced you now, reaching out to carefully adjust your kefta, straightening it and dusting it off just a bit.

“I’ll admit disappointment,” he began and then he tidied up the collar of your kefta, and though he was fiddling with your clothing, you knew he was speaking to Fruzsi, “I always felt an affinity for her. And David,” he continued before he turned back towards the other girl in the room.

“Morozova’s journal is missing.” She blurted and you stiffened.

The journal was the only thing you all had with the information that was needed to possibly cure Aleksander’s ailment that he’d dragged out of The Fold with himself.

His shoulders stiffened and you reached out to grasp his forearm, and though he didn’t acknowledge you, he was thankful that your hand was on his arm.

Your touch grounded him.

“Vladim believes David took it.” Fruzsi continued on, a look of worry ghosting over her features.

Aleksander didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds and you brushed your thumb soothingly over the sleeve of his kefta, even though you were sure he didn’t feel it through the thick material.

Of course David would take it. The one thing that you needed. The betrayal of Aleksander by two people he claimed to trust sent a stab of sickness up through your stomach.

“And with it, any possibility of understanding my… condition.” he slowly turned towards you, his face colorless. The same anger from earlier boiled just beneath his skin and his eyes seemed to glow with the same fury.

You practically cowered underneath his indignant stare.

His lip curled back just slightly and you let out a shaking breath, your hand tightening around his arm, mouth forming his name.

You had never been one for anger before. It took a great deal to get you to the point of rage, and even then, you kept yourself as calm as you could. You had to. All of your life, you had to. You could tell by the look in your lover’s eyes, that he reached his breaking point. There was no masking his anger now, his mask had fallen, and there was no amount of patience now that could compel him to slip the mask back on.

“Leave.” He hissed over his shoulder at Fruzsi.

The girl glanced worriedly at him and then at you before she bowed her head once more and scurried out of the room.

Aleksander yanked his arm from your grip and you gasped softly.

“Aleksander, my love-“ you began but he held up a hand to silence you.

You fell silent, your heart hammering anxiously against your chest now.

He breathed heavily for a moment before he launched his arms down upon his desk and sent everything atop it flying, a loud, mangled cry leaving his mouth. He turned his back on you and leaned up against the desk as he continued to scream, and you brought your hands up to your mouth, tears gathering in your eyes.

The sound of his yells and the clattering of objects flying off the desk made you jump and you stumbled backwards just a bit, a tiny cry escaping your lips. You held your hands tightly over your mouth and watched him as he lifted a shaking hand and turned it over, staring at the remnants of his and Alina’s shared amplifier.

You watched him in shock and you shook your head, lowering your hands from your mouth.

You knew very well of the tether Aleksander shared with Alina, and you also knew of the dangers that came with it. He loved to have the last word, loved to toy with the girl as if she was a mouse caught by only her tail and he was the cat the held her in place.

“My love, do not call on her, you’ll only grow angrier.” You whispered and stepped towards him.

But he already had.

-

You had barely left your room for a week now. You’d barely found the will to speak along with your desire to not leave the room.

Aleksander knew very well that he had scared you the night the journal was reported missing, and though he didn’t come out and apologize aloud yet, he’d spent a considerable amount of time with his arms around you. He would hold you against his chest and he’d coo sweet little things in your ears and he’d rock you back and forth like he was comforting a baby.

His guilt was eating him alive, perhaps more rapidly than the merzost was.

Tonight in particular pained him more than the others.

You were sat at his desk and stacked his papers carefully after arranging them. He wasn’t angry, he didn’t even mean to stand up so fast and so aggressively, but he rose rapidly from his favored chair and you jumped backwards, eyes wide as you looked up at him.

You stood up quickly and tried to play it off as just getting up, but he’d seen the way you’d flinched.

“Y/n,” he whispered and slowly moved towards you. When he was only a foot away from you, you looked up at him and gave him a watery smile and shook your head.

“No, Aleksander I’m just fine. It’s okay.” You insisted and held your hands out to dismiss whatever he was about to say. You knew the look on his face well. He was stricken.

“You are not fine. You walk on eggshells around me. You have ever since Genya.” He stated and you swallowed nervously, shaking your head in protest.

“I don’t, I promise.” You insisted, your voice getting stuck in your throat nearly at the end.

“What do you call this, then? You jumping at my abrupt movements, your newfound anxiety in my presence. Just seven days ago, I brought you comfort. I know this has to do with her and my outburst and I am sorry that-“

“No! No! Please, Aleksander! You have nothing to apologize for-“

“I am sorry that I allowed myself to act that-“

“Please, no-“ you cut him off again, only to be cut off in return.

“Will you just listen? It was no way for me to behave. Especially in front of you. Because if I don’t have your devotion and your trust then I have nothing.” He said firmly and reached down to cup your face in his hands.

His touch was feather-light and he held your face carefully as if you were thin, breakable glass.

“You have my devotion and all of my trust. It was just… new. Genya has nothing to do with it. I’ve just never seen you so… angry. It startled me.” You admitted in a whisper and Aleksander leaned down to rest his forehead against yours.

“My sweet little angel, I do apologize for startling you. Please know that my anger will never be turned on you, it will never be directed towards you. How could I be angry with you? You stand by me so adamantly and so loyally. That is a wonder. A beautiful wonder. I’ve not known such unconditional devotion.”

“That’s because it’s not only unconditional devotion, Aleksander.” You whispered and closed your eyes, your lips trembling under the weight of the words you wished to speak.

“What else is it, then?”

“I am devoted to you, that is the truth. But I don’t regard you with only devotion, Aleksander. This unconditional devotion you speak of is not devotion at all. It is love.” Your voice broke at the end and a single tear rolled down your cheek, “It is love Aleksander. Unconditional love. And I know you don’t wish to say that aloud, but it’s-“

He cut you off yet again, this time with his lips crashing down upon your own.

You received his kiss with a type of reverence that could only be comparable to the kind you give to a God and you returned his action by kissing him back. His fingers curled into your hair and held your face to his as you he kissed you with the same reverence, and you could feel past his apology, past the shared reverence. You felt his sorrow and his fear and his devotion to you, all in his kiss. When he finally pulled back to take in a breath of air, he let out the tiniest cry you had ever heard out of his mouth and he clenched his jaw painfully tight.

“What have you done to me, woman?” He asked breathlessly, squeezing his eyes shut.

You opened your mouth to answer but you never got the chance to, because he spoke again before you could.

“I don’t fear things. I am the one to be feared. But I fear losing you. It rattles me down to my very skeleton. I fear losing you the way I should fear death. Tell me what you’ve done to me. Tell me what curse you’ve put on me to leave me in such a haze. Tell me why you have me on my knees for your love. Oh, I want it. I need it. I crave it. Oh, how I want you. I need you. I crave you. You are the light that belongs to the darkness. The Moon needs the shadows to shine. You were meant for me, just as I was meant for you. And oh, my beautiful saint, how I love you.”

You gasped at his words softly and he nudged his nose against your own, and you didn’t notice that you were crying until he was wiping your cheeks dry with his thumbs.

“When we win, when we get out of this victorious and I rise as King, I will make you my queen. I will have you for life. I will marry you, underneath that pretty willow behind the Little Palace, in the dead of night where we can be surrounded by nothing but shadows and moonlight. Isn’t that what we are? Shadows and moonlight?” His tone was hushed and it was devout, as if he were a prophet reading you his favorite scripture.

You brought your own hands up to Aleksander’s face and you cupped it the same way he cupped yours. You wanted to speak, but you weren’t sure if anything would leave your mouth except for sobs, so you let him continue.

“I fall at your feet, Sankta y/n. You are my very own saint to worship, and I will make sure that one day, you are the one they scrawl into the history books and sacred texts. Sankta y/n, summoner of the Moon. My love, my life. You are the one thing that makes me stronger while simultaneously making me weak.”

“That is love, my dear Aleksander.” You cried and he shushed you with a handful of light kisses over your trembling lips.

“That is love.” He echoed, his lips so close to yours that they brushed your bottom lip when he spoke.

The two of you stood in silence for a long time, and he wiped your tears when they fell and you brushed your thumb over the soft skin underneath his eyes.

Finally, he pulled his face away from yours and he looked down into your eyes with an intensity he’d not looked at you with before.

“I mean it. I will make you my queen and marry you underneath the willow behind the Little Palace. Surrounded and adored by Grisha. We will liberate our people and I will spend eternity by your side. My queen of the Moon, the love of my life.”

You nodded once, a small smile tugging the corners of your lips upwards.

“Eternity sounds nice.”

-

In the days following your heart to heart with your Darkling, Aleksander had a Durast make you a ring infused with his mother’s finger bones. Your very own amplifier. He’d slid the dainty gold ring onto your little finger, too, murmuring the entire time about how he’d get you a prettier ring one day and how this one was just a reminder of his promise to marry you. And then he held up his own hand to show you his own little gold ring, sitting upon his little finger as well.

It was a pretty ring. Really. It was gold and made to look like a willow branch, fashioned after the tree he vowed to marry you underneath. He always was one for symbolism.

You sat and admired the metal on your finger while sitting atop the desk in yours and Aleksander’s shared bedroom. Most of the other Grisha that were usually around were out on a mission, and Aleksander was hiding out somewhere, using the tether to provoke Alina, as he so often did. The sound of metal clattering startled you and you slowly climbed off of the desk and walked to your door. You pushed it open and looked around the hallway. No one was there, and no one should have been there to make something fall, that was for certain. You stepped out of your bedroom and eyed the halls once more suspiciously before you shook your head.

“Hello?” You called out, expecting exactly what you got in return, which was silence. You stepped out further into the hall and you began to slowly walk towards the makeshift laboratory to find Vladim, who had likely stayed behind, not one for the organized attack on the Lantsovs. The sudden sound of glass smashing and things clattering to the floor made you freeze in the middle of the hall and you raised your hands up, the unforgivingly cold light of the moon beginning to light up your hands. The strong electric feeling that came along with your new amplifier travelled up your spine and out towards your fingers, sending a bright surge of light up through them.

Out from around the corner, Baghra and Genya walked towards you in tandem. Baghra looked complacent while on the other hand, Genya looked furious. You hadn’t directly looked at Genya since she’d been maimed by the nichevo'ya, and now that you were looking directly at her, you felt a small bit of pity fill your head.

“Stop right there!” You called at the two of them.

Baghra did. Genya did not. Instead, the Tailor marched towards you and you raised your hand up higher as if you were loading an arrow with one hand.

“Genya, I do not want to use my power on you. Stop where you are, now.” You commanded, standing your ground.

She did not reply, and she did not stop, either, until she was nearly three feet away from you.

“Look at me,” She seethed and pointed at her face, “Look at me and know this is your doing. I never thought you’d lose your compassion. Your kindness. But every single day that passes, you become more and more like your Darkling.” She growled and you shook your head.

“You are a fool, Genya Safin.” You breathed and then lowered your hand just a bit, “You are the only one to blame for your misfortune. And when we find David, you’ll be the only one to blame for his misfortunes, too.” You chided and watched a look of worry cross her face.

“You’ve lost your heart.” She said harshly and then jabbed you in the chest with her finger, “You have allowed The Darkling to rip it from your chest and blacken it. We grew up together, Y/n! We served the Queen together! How could you have just turned your back on me? I needed you!” She shouted and you lowered both of your hands entirely.

“My heart is as bountiful as it needs to be. Blackened or not. You betrayed and abandoned Aleksander, therefore you have betrayed and abandoned me.” You said flatly, gazing at her with the same look you’d give a non-compliant child.

“You love a made up man. He will never love you back. He is using you. The same way he used Alina, you’re just too arrogant to believe that you’re being played with. You are but a piece in his infinite game of power.”

She wanted you to doubt him. But you knew better. You saw sides of him that no one else got to, that no one else needed to.

“Don’t make me maim you further, Genya. You might have to find a strength greater than your beauty if you keep pushing me.” You said coldly.

This had her eyes blazing angrily and she reached for you, grabbing onto the lapels of your kefta.

You brought your hand up to shoot a beam of moonlight through her chest, but you were stopped, something cold and clammy tugging your wrist backwards. You looked up to see a thick tendril of shadow around your wrist and you looked at Baghra who now had her own hands raised. You furrowed your brow angrily as you watched the old woman and you went to raise your other hand, and in the struggle you didn’t even see Genya reach up to grab the side of your head until you felt her fingers in your hair. She swung your head near the wall and you pushed back with all your might, but she kept trying to make contact between your head and the wall. You growled in frustration and tried to fight her off with your free hand, but another shadow wrapped itself around your free wrist, and before you could even protest, your head was being slammed ferociously into the wall, and blackness consumed your vision.

-

You weren’t sure how long you had been unconscious, and furthermore, you weren’t even sure of where you were, because when you woke up, you were behind iron bars on a gravel floor. The room around you was dim, and it looked like it had been carved out from a cave. You went to touch the side of your head that throbbed painfully, only to find that your hands were bound and separated by a beam of wood. You let out a frustrated groan and you slammed the wood between your hands against the bars, but it hardly even dented.

“There is absolutely no point in trying, girl. You are getting a taste of what it’s like to be a prisoner.”

You groaned again and lifted your head to see Baghra walk shakily into the space beyond the bars in front of you.

“Mm, abduction is your thing now?” You asked sardonically as you looked up at the scraggly haired woman. A sharp pain shot through the side of your head where you’d been hit and you winced slightly, your vision blurring just temporarily.

“I wasn’t fond of the idea but sometimes we have to do things we aren’t fond of in the name of what’s right.” She answered with a shrug and she sat down on a stool about six feet away from you, and you loathed how there were bars in your way of tackling the woman to the ground.

“So your grand idea is keeping me locked up? And then what? I’m not the threat you think I am.”

“No, not a threat. More like… bait. But I wouldn’t expect you to recognize when you’re being used. You haven’t thus far, why start now?” Baghra droned and your lips twitched angrily.

“Your plan is listless. Aleksander will tear you and anyone else apart to ensure my safe return.”

“You overestimate your importance to my son.”

“On the contrary. I think I underestimate it at times.”

The two of you were locked in an intense stare for a long time before she finally waved her hand dismissively.

“Well, only time can tell.” She conceded and slowly stood up. She didn’t say another word as she exited the room, and you didn’t care to speak either, so instead you watched as she left, sneering in her wake.

You were unsure of how long you sat in silence in that dim little room, but it surely had been a few hours before you heard gravel crunching underneath a pair of footsteps. You looked up spitefully to see Alina standing across the room with a deep frown on her lips, and at her side was unmistakably her little orphan friend, Mal. You eyed the two of them contemptuously and said nothing as Alina approached you. Instead of using the stool Baghra sat upon, the girl knelt in front of the bars and she placed her hands against them, a sadness pooling within her eyes.

“I remember when you saved my life. I’ve always so admired you for that.” She said quietly, wrapping her fingers around the shabby iron bars between the two of you.

You didn’t say anything in return. Instead, you shifted your gaze to the wall adjacent to you and you shook your head once.

“Y/n, I know this is hard to hear, it was for me as well, but you are being used. You are being manipulated. You’re stronger than this, look at you. You harness the power of the moon. Our powers are supposed to work in tandem. We are supposed to work in tandem. Please don’t let your potential be reduced to just another thing Kirigan desecrates and throws aside.” Alina whispered and reached through the bars to touch your arm.

You shied away from her fingers and you looked up at her, staring her down as if she were as maimed as Genya.

“It’s okay to be scared. But I really need you to trust me.” She added and pulled her arm back to her side.

“How long have I been here?” You asked her, looking down at your sore wrists. Surely they were raw by now.

“Almost a week. We had to keep you unconscious until we were sure you were securely… locked up.” She said with a frown.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, laying your bound hands out across your thighs.

“This is ridiculous. You are begging for a death sentence.” You mumbled.

“Right. And so are you and The Darkling. Trust me when I say, we will deliver.” Mal snapped, and it was the first time you’d heard him speak. You eyed the tall, dark haired boy and your lips curled upwards into a little smirk.

“Try, otkazat'sya.” You challenged and you watched Mal’s face darken as he took a step forward.

“She’s hopeless, Alina. He’s fried her head. Whatever friend you knew now belongs to Kirigan. Just do as the old woman says and get her out so we can get going. She won’t help us willingly so she can follow us as our leverage.” Mal remarked stuffily and he crossed his arms over his chest, his dark eyes raking over you in disdain.

“And just where do you think I’ll be following you?” You asked rigidly, looking to Alina this time.

She hesitated in answering, her eyes shifting down to the gravel floor. You could tell she didn’t want to be in this mess, and neither did you. However, you’d be more inclined to be kind to her if her main objective wasn’t to kill your lover.

“We are going to find Morozova’s workshop, and you are coming with us. We hoped as an ally, but Baghra warned us that you might not be so interested in being an ally.”

“Ah. Well, I’ll have to politely decline. I will not be going with you.” You drawled and dug your heels into the gravel beneath your feet.

“You don’t really get a say in the matter.” Mal snapped and you looked up at him through narrowed eyes.

“You sure talk bravely for someone so mortal.” You replied and he took another step forward and raised his thick brows.

“And you sure act like you’re important enough for Kirigan to smite me over so perhaps we are both wrong.” he replied and you watched as Alina reached up and placed a hand on his leg to silence him.

She gave him a sad look and then shook her head a few times.

“Mal.” She warned and then nodded back at you, “She’s not the enemy.”

But you were… weren’t you?

It was probably best for them to keep believing you weren’t, though. Keep yourself unassuming and secure feeling.

You glanced down at your hand and almost let out a breath of relief when you saw your ring still sitting around your finger. The only explanation you had was that they didn’t know it was your amplifier, and if that was the case, you had to keep it that way.

To keep yourself unassuming, indeed.

-

The next few days were uneventful. You had spent most of your time on a horse, your hands still held apart. Your entire body was stiff and at the end of the day when you were allowed off of the horse, walking was a daunting task all on its own.

Hardly anyone said anything important around you, and the journey was quiet and awkward. However, the night before last- the first night of your journey- you had heard Alina speaking to Mal and Baghra when they believed you to be asleep. It wasn’t of much importance, but she did say that Aleksander had been the most unstable she’d ever seen him the last time she reached out to him through the tether. Baghra had assured her that they were not going to be stopped by him, but Alina seemed on edge and quietly tried to suggest leaving you behind to find your way back to him.

That was the night you had started trying to create your own tether with Aleksander. It’s mostly all you had put your energy into for the last few days, desperate to hear his voice at the very least. You weren’t afraid that anyone was going to hurt you. Alina wouldn’t in spite of her big heart, Baghra wouldn’t because you knew deep down she knew you cared fiercely for her son, and Mal… you weren’t sure about. But he didn’t scare you. If anything, he just vexed you beyond all reason.

The two others led their horses on foot while Mal was pulling the one you were on. He hadn’t so much as looked at you once that day. Bitter little orphan.

“You know, if you spent even half as much time smiling as you did brooding and being a grump, you might actually start to have the inkling of a personality.” You remarked down at the boy. At first you thought he was going to ignore you some more, but you watched in surprise as he shook his head.

“I’ll take brooding and grumpy over being The Darkling’s zealot, time and time again.” He replied, not looking over his shoulder at you once.

You rolled your eyes and wished you could kick him in the back, and you willed him to come a little closer to the horse so that you could. But he never did, much to your disappointment.

“I believe my feelings for him to be no different than your own for Alina. I mean, we’re both putting our trust and loyalty into something otherworldly. The only difference is, this side of the world has never scared me as it has you.” You remarked, feeling a sense of accomplishment when you watched his fist tighten on the reins.

He said nothing for a while, the only sound now was Baghra and Alina chatting ahead and the sound of twigs and gravel crunching underneath your horse’s hooves. You didn’t expect him to speak again, so you closed your eyes and prepared yourself to connect with Aleksander once again.

Mal’s voice stopped you.

“At the risk of feeding into your delusion, I believe that we are entirely different. Look, I know you aren’t a bad person. His crimes aren’t on your hands, Alina tells me of your kindness when she came to the palace. How could you have betrayed her after saving her life?”

“I didn’t betray Alina. I simply chose my side, just as she chose hers. That doesn’t… I don’t have to justify myself to you, boy. You know as well as I do that when you care deeply for someone, a lot of things such as reason or morality tend to fade into grey little lines that are easily blurred.” You remarked.

This time he really didn’t answer. And you were fine with that.

You closed your eyes again and went back into your mind, doing everything you could to find a way to Aleksander. You almost groaned with frustration nearly half an hour later when nothing had happened.

You both had Baghra’s bones as an amplifier. You both wore the same thin gold rings on your littlest fingers. Surely that had to be enough.

It didn’t seem as if it was, though.

You wanted to reach for your ring, but the bar between your hands stopped you and you frowned and clenched your fists tightly, balling them up against your thighs. You took a deep breath and decided to try again.

You closed your eyes slowly and focused on the band around your pinky finger. You focused on how it was cold, how the patterns on it pressed against the side of your ring finger. You felt a small buzz at the very back of your mind and you grit your teeth and chased it, breathing heavily. You focused on him. The thought of him, the feeling of his hand against yours, the sound of his voice, and the starless black glittering of his eyes. The blankness behind your eyes began to shift into something blurry and misshapen. It focused and refocused hundreds of times before the picture in your mind became the blurry from your shared bedroom.

Your stomach filled with warm anticipation and you took a long, deep breath and willed yourself into the room. The second you moved forward into the room, it was as if everything around you changed. You could no longer feel your sore body nor could you feel the horse beneath you. The air felt warm and soothing against your cheeks, and it was a different feeling than the chilly air that had been biting at your face for the past few days. Your steps were soundless as you moved further into the room and your eyes fell on Aleksander as he stood by his window. His hands were gripping the windowsill so tightly that the skin over his knuckles was pulled taut and colored white. His hands shook underneath the intense pressure of which he held the windowsill with and you didn’t have to see his face to know his jaw was clenched.

You spoke his name, but the sound seemed to get lost, because you didn’t hear it, and he didn’t seem to either. You felt a twinge of disappointment and you took a long breath and refocused completely on him, speaking his name again.

This time, you could hear it. It sounded like a faint, distorted echo. One that he still couldn’t seem to hear.

You clenched your fists as tightly as you could and you focused on the ring on your finger, on the man in front of you, on the very emotional connection you two shared, and you finally spoke his name one more time.

Your voice was fully audible to your own ears now, and you had definitely gotten his attention, because he spun around from the window and his eyes fixed themselves on you. There was a vast collection of emotions that flickered through his eyes, ranging from surprise, to relief, worry, anger, and then finally something else that you couldn’t name at first but you eventually came to recognize it as guilt and sadness.

“Y/n.” He breathed and strode towards you determinedly. He reached out to pull you towards him, but his hand only went right through you.

It took him just a moment to recover from the confused look that painted itself over his face, but when he did, his eyes flooded with realization.

“You aren’t here. Not really.” He whispered sadly, his big, dark eyes glossing over with a layer of unshed tears.

“No. But I’ve been trying to reach out to you this way for days, and I haven’t been able to. This is the first time it’s worked!” You exclaimed excitedly and then you smiled up at him.

He did his best to give you a proud smile, but you could see there was a heavy sorrow lingering in his eyes.

“Oh, you’re such an intelligent girl. So gifted.” He said softly.

You wanted to touch him. You wanted him to take you in his arms. You missed him.

“Aleksander, I don’t like being away from you.” You whispered and you watched him shatter before you with those words.

He closed his eyes and reached up to rub them with the sides of his hands and he let out a slow sigh.

“My darling, where are you? I will find you and I will bring you home. I will kill anyone who stands in my way; anyone who tries to stop me.” His face was almost pained and you frowned.

“I don’t know where we are. I just know we have set out to find Morozova’s workshop.” You stated.

Exhaustion started to seep into your head and you were finding it hard to keep the connection going. You knew you were not as powerful as Alina and Aleksander, and this was taking almost all of the energy and power you had, and it didn’t help that you couldn’t even use your hands.

“We? Who is we? Who is with you?” He asked sharply and he leaned closer to you. His eyes studied your face and he frowned, “Angel, you look so tired. You need your rest, this must be taking so much out of you.” He whispered and you shook your head.

You struggled to piece your thoughts together so that you could answer him, but eventually you pushed through and were able to elaborate.

“We… Alina, Mal, Baghra.” You mumbled.

He gave you a little nod and then he frowned even more. He looked as if your struggle pained him.

And it did.

Seeing you this way pained him more than he cared to admit, and the week without you had been one of the hardest of his entire life. It was as if he could feel every single second passing. All he could do is hope that his Grisha would find you, hope that you were safe, and then fantasize about how he would enact painful revenge on anyone who dared lay their hands on you. He would have his revenge on those who took you away from him.

“Darling, stop trying to keep the connection going. You’ve done so much already, and I am so proud of you. Seeing that you are unharmed is the greatest relief to me at this moment. Rest now, don’t exhaust yourself. I will find you, everything is going to be alright. Do you trust me?” He asked softly and gazed down upon your face.

You gave him a nod and he gave you a watery smile in return.

“Sweet little girl, you have made me so proud today. I love you. Know that I will find you. I swear it.” He vowed in a whisper and you looked into his eyes one last time before you felt the connection slip.

It was like a rope, pulled in two different directions being cut in the middle. Your eyes snapped open instantly and you gasped, nearly falling off of the horse. You steadied yourself quickly and you had to readjust to the brightness of the outdoors. You blinked a few times and looked around to see that you had stopped moving, and Mal was staring up at you, along with Baghra and Alina.

Alina looked a bit paler and she turned to Baghra with a worried expression.

“I knew this was not a good idea, Baghra. I-“

Baghra cut her off with a wave of her hand and she eyed you contemptuously, her beady eyes fixing themselves on you in an accusatory way.

“You, too, can connect with my son it seems.”

You didn’t respond, instead you jutted your chin out as if you were an indignant child and you looked away from them, gazing off over to your left.

“Foolish girl. You think he’s going to save you? He won’t give himself up, even for you.” Baghra said haughtily and you shook your head once, not saying anything.

“Look, we need to get inside.” Mal stated and then looked up at you, “But she can’t come. If she’s able to speak with Kirigan then she can’t be anywhere near whatever is in there. Then whatever we find out, so does he.”

You snorted and looked back over at the three of them.

“What was the point in bringing me, then? This was easily a three person job. I think, Baghra, that deep down, you did expect Aleksander to come for me. You wanted to isolate him from his Grisha out in the middle of nowhere, then you would’ve had your chance to stop him. But now that he hasn’t come, you are flailing.” You theorized and then you shook your head with contempt.

No one said anything for a long time. You knew you were right. They knew you were right. No one wanted to speak. Baghra didn’t want to admit her idea had been a farce, Alina was anxious, and perhaps Mal just had nothing to say.

But as usual, the boy finally did find something to say.

“Get down.” He commanded and you held your hands up and shook them a few times.

“Can’t really dismount a horse on my own without my hands.” You said in a bored tone, and Mal scoffed in annoyance, but his irritation didn’t stop him from reaching up and grabbing your waist. He easily lifted you off of the horse, and instead of setting you on your feet, he gingerly dropped you before making sure you were steady.

You fell onto your knees in the fallen leaves and the dirt and you winced. You didn’t have even a moment to recover and stand before Mal grabbed you by your upper arms and dragged you to a tree next to a large rock. He pushed your side up against the tree and you yelped, the rough bark biting into your cheek.

“Give me the rope.” He instructed and Alina hesitated for a moment before she reluctantly untied one of the ropes from one of the horses and brought it over to Mal.

You looked up at the tall, lanky boy and you shook your head.

“Just let me go. You don’t need me, I don’t need any of you. Please.” You said exasperatedly and he gave you a hard look before he pushed you down onto your knees. Your knee collided with one of the tree’s protruding roots and you groaned quietly, leaning your head up against the side of the tree.

Mal looped the end of the rope up underneath one of your shackles and knotted it many times before he tied the other end around the slender tree. He gave the rope a hard tug and when it didn’t budge, he stepped back and looked down at you with disgust.

You mirrored his expression to a T and then sneered.

Your eyes wandered past him and you looked at what seemed to be large rock formation on the side of a hill, but upon closer examination, there was a door. It was much like the stone doors you’d find at a tomb, and there were branches and vines shrouding the entryway. Small stone steps led up to the door and your three delightful travel companions slowly turned away from you and walked towards the workshop.

You looked down at your raw wrists and you gave the rope a few sharp little tugs before you let out a grunt and leaned your back up against the tree. You needed Aleksander. You needed to speak to him again. If only you weren’t so damn exhausted.

Your entire body ached and you could hear Baghra speaking faintly behind you. You closed your eyes as tightly as you could and tried to muster enough energy to connect with your lover once again.

You couldn’t.

You opened your eyes after a while and realized that you couldn’t hear anyone any longer, and you turned to look over your shoulder to see that Mal, Alina, and Baghra had disappeared. Likely into the workshop. You scooted over in the dirt and leaves until you were up against the rock and you laid your arms down on top of it and laid your head against your arms as if you were laying your head upon a desk. You stretched your hand out a bit and then felt something sharp catch your palm.

“Ouch!” You hissed and sat up. You glanced down at a rather sharp edge on the rock and then looked down at your now bleeding palm that had been sliced open. You slowly turned your head back towards the sharp, serrated edge of the rock and then you glanced at your shackles. You quickly rose up on your knees and leaned over the side of the rock and brought the middle of the wooden beam down on the sharp edge of the rock. You pushed down against it with all of your might and began to drag it back and forth rapidly, trying to saw through the wood. After a few grueling moments of this, you stopped and let out a little whimper.

Your wrists were raw and sore against their metal shackles and your arms ached terribly. But you had made some progress. The rock had indeed began to cut into the wood and there was a small split in the wooden beam, about one quarter of an inch deep. Staring at the split in the wood filled you with determination and you brought the beam back down on the edge of the rock and continued to drag it back and forth as hard and as fast as you could. Your wrists protested with every movement, but you didn’t stop.

You had almost gotten past cutting halfway through the beam when the scraping of stone stopped you. You quickly scrambled back down on the ground as if you were sitting there the entire time and you stayed still and silent. After a moment, you turned to see Mal and Baghra standing in front of the workshop. Baghra passed Mal a blade and you tried to make out what they were saying but couldn’t hear anything more than their faint vocal tones. You watched as Baghra cut Mal on his hand and he slowly turned and pressed his hand against the stone door, which slid shut. Mal jumped back, startled, and he slowly stepped away from Baghra and the door, looking frantic.

You turned your attention away from the two of them and instead looked back at the wooden beam that held your hands apart. You pursed your lips and you put the beam over your knee and tried to snap it, pulling your wrists down as hard as you could before you let out a shriek and stopped immediately, your wrists now bleeding from all of the friction against your raw skin.

You heard Alina cry out from inside the workshop and you turned to watch Mal dash inside. Baghra didn’t follow. Instead she came towards you hurriedly. She used the blade in her hands to cut the rope off of the tree and she grabbed your arm.

“Come with me, girl.” She said flatly and pulled you to your feet.

You complied silently and glanced at the severance in the wooden beam. All you had to do was wait for the right moment. You followed Baghra inside of the workshop and the two of you joined Mal in the doorway to one of the rooms.

Mal went to run for Alina, but with the hand she didn’t have on you, Baghra grabbed onto Mal with and she shook her head.

“Don’t break the connection!” She commanded.

“You said she’s not strong enough to face him!” Mal protested.

You looked past Mal to see Alina surrounded by an electric blue light and you widened your eyes. Aleksander was here.

“Exactly.” Baghra said to Mal calmly and stepped in front of him, leaving you behind.

You eyed Baghra warily as she grabbed a torch off of the wall and walked towards Alina, who was struggling against the wall, held there by the telepathic presence of Aleksander.

“I will end this once and for all. Once I’ve killed my son, my time here is done.” Baghra said sternly and tossed the torch into a bin of scrolls, “All this goes with me.” She finished and you let out a wail.

“You’re heartless!” You cried out, realizing what she was about to attempt to do, “He is your son, Baghra!” You screamed and tried to run at her, but Mal stopped you and pushed you down to the floor, where you landed in a graceless heap of limbs.

“You know what you have to do. And close the door on your way out.” Baghra said to Mal as the room began to go up in flames, “And leave the Moon Summoner here with me.”

Baghra approached Alina and you slowly sat up and turned to the shackles on your wrists. You had to break out of them, there was no question about it now. You began to slam the split in the wood against the rock walls and you let out a scream that was born of pain and determination.

Alina dashed past you, and you assumed Baghra had freed her from Aleksander, and Mal was now dragging her out of the workshop, trying to convince her to leave Baghra behind. The old woman now stood at the far side of the room in a trance, her head tipped upwards in focus.

“The Firebird!” Alina said in a panic and jumped towards the burning table.

“I know where the Firebird is!” Mal shouted, “We have to go!” He said and yanked her towards the door.

“No! Y/n, Mal we can’t leave her!” She cried and you looked up at Alina who was standing a few yards away from you, trying to break free of Mal’s grasp.

“Alina, cut your losses. She is not your friend, we need to go!”

You eyed her sadly and you let out a little sniffle, looking up at her. The room grew hotter as the flames grew closer to you and you shook your head once, looking down at the floor.

“Mal, she’s innocent, please!”

But her begging was futile, because Mal only gave you one last look, a cocky little sneer, and then yanked Alina from the workshop.

You heard the scraping of stone and knew that the door had been closed.

You cried out in frustration, tears pooling in your eyes and you banged the wooden beam against the wall, even harder now. You didn’t realize you were screaming until your throat felt hoarse and you coughed, smoke filling your lungs.

This couldn’t be how you died. You refused. But your body had different plans. Exhaustion washed over you, trying to pull you into its sea. You were so tired. Everything hurt. You were almost tempted to lay down and let the warm flames consume you until you remembered Baghra. She was aiming to kill Aleksander.

With one final burst of determined energy, you slammed the beam down on the jagged edge of the wall a few more times before you heard a snap. You looked down at your hands to find them separated. Still shackled, but separated.

Quickly, you scrambled upwards with a burst of adrenaline just in time to see Baghra collapse. She turned her head slowly and her eyes met yours, blood dribbling from the corner of her lips.

“Stupid girl. Though it will never be enough, thank you for loving my stupid boy.” She murmured, and you could hardly hear her over the roar of the fire.

You looked down at her in disgust and you shook your head.

“One of us had to.” You spat and then you brought your right hand up to your lips. You placed a little kiss on the gold ring upon your little finger and then you let out an ear shattering yell, bringing your hands together in a sharp clap that resonated even louder than the fire.

Silver light flooded the entire workshop and turned each flame into a blazing beam of the moon. You held your hands together and squinted to see, but within seconds, there was nothing but bright, bright light and then an earth shaking crash.

You fell to your knees dizzily, unsure of what just happened and your eyes rolled backwards into your head as you slumped sideways and finally let your exhaustion drag you away from the present.

-

There was a loud ringing in your ears, and you could feel a cool breeze dusting across your cheeks. Your throat was dry and your tongue was like sandpaper against the top of your mouth. You willed yourself to open your eyes and you stared straight up at the grey sky above you.

Your body was sore everywhere, but you couldn’t ignore the tingling, electric sensation that coursed through your veins. You weakly pushed yourself up and felt rubble tumble off of your chest as you did. The workshop laid in ruins around you and there were still little traces of silvery light, fizzling out slowly like smothered flames. You took in the ruin around you and you blinked a few times.

You did this. You had destroyed this entire cavelike workshop. You would’ve been a bit more giddy if you weren’t covered in bleeding cuts and sensitive bruises. A strange sense of pride swelled in your chest and you very slowly hoisted yourself up with a grunt, grabbing onto a fragment that remained of the wall to steady yourself. You looked around the mess slowly and your eyes settled on a hand that protruded out from underneath a pile of stone.

Baghra.

You stared down at her for a long time and then finally you tore your eyes away from her rock burial.

If she was dead, it could mean two things. Aleksander’s mother had killed him, or he had killed his mother.

With a grunt, you walked away from the ruins of the workshop and approached the nearest tree. You leaned heavily up against it and took a few long, deep breaths before you closed your eyes and reached up awkwardly to hold onto your ring with your opposite hand.

It was much easier this time to establish a connection with Aleksander, you simply pictured him in your mind and let your power do the rest. When you opened your eyes, you stood behind him in what appeared to be a tent. He was hunched over on his knees and seemed to be in pain, but you couldn’t deny the relief you felt to know that he was alive.

“Aleksander.” You breathed.

You knew he had heard you by the way his head perked up a bit, but he didn’t turn towards you.

“Sweet Moon Saint. Are you really there or have you come back through my head?” He asked in a low, ragged tone.

“I’m not there. Not yet. I just had to know if you were alive.” You said quietly and watched as his shoulders rolled back a bit. He never did turn around, though.

“Mm, alive, yes. I was very worried about you. My mother told me you were going to die for my sins. It seems ironic to me that now she’s the only one that’s perished for them.” He said in a deadpan.

“My love, where can I find you?” You asked softly and he let out a sigh.

“You sound terrible. You sound tired. You sound hoarse. What have they done to you?” He asked, hanging his head.

“I am fine, Aleksander. Please, I need to come to you. Tell me where you are.” You pleaded and he very slowly turned his head toward you.

“Keramzin. You’ll find my encampment. Please, please my love, do not leave me alone on this earth. Fight tooth and nail if you must, but return to me. You must return to me.”

“I will.” You promised.

Always.

-

The journey to Keramzin had been a brief one, and you were thankful for that. You weren’t sure how your body hadn’t given out, but after hobbling through the mountains for nearly a day, you came across a little farm and stole a horse from its stables.

After that, it was a straight shot. You made it to Keramzin in only six days and it was easy to locate Aleksander’s camp. You slowly rode up on your horse towards the camp, and two large Heartrenders ran towards you to stop you before recognition crossed their faces. They both bowed their heads to you and whispered your name.

Sankta Y/n.

Your hair was in tangles and your face was polluted with dried blood and dirt and your kefta and dress were torn and caked with mud. You looked terrible.

But you also looked formidable.

Perched high upon your horse, broken shackles still around your wrists, wounded, but sitting straight with your shoulders squared nonetheless.

“Take me to The General.” You commanded and slid off of the horse, landing on your feet, a painful shock going through your entire body as you hit the ground.

You followed the two Heartrenders through the field and around a handful of tents before you saw him. His back was turned to you and he stood at the precipice of a dead little meadow, and across from this meadow was a shabby home. Likely an orphanage or an inn, you reasoned. Fruzsi stood a few paces behind him, and as you approached, she turned around and let out a gasp. Your eyes met hers and she bowed her head immediately.

“You’ve returned.” She said softly, relief evident in her tone.

“I always will.” You said gauntly and then stepped past her.

You continued on towards Aleksander, and when you reached him, you slid your hands around his arm and fastened yourself to his side before you completely leaned against him, your legs giving out.

He didn’t even need to look at you, he recognized your touch the second you grabbed his arm. He turned towards you and in one swift movement, hooked an arm underneath your knees and lifted you off of the ground and into his arms.

Silently, you wrapped your arms around his neck and tucked your face in the spot between his shoulder and his throat, breathing in his scent. He wordlessly tightened his grip on you and he buried his face in your hair. The two of you stayed like that for a very long time, silent. The only sounds between the two of you were sighs, sharp inhales, and exhales.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Aleksander moved his face away from your hair and he gazed down at you as you laid in his arms, weary.

“I love you.” He whispered, dipping his head down so that he was close to your face.

You turned your head so that you could look up at him properly and you leaned up to nudge your nose against his.

“Aleksander.” You whimpered and he nodded once.

“I know. Never again. You will never be away from my side again.” He promised and you gave him a little nod, your eyelids growing heavy.

He watched as you fought to stay awake in his arms and he turned towards the crowd of his Grisha. He glanced at Fruzsi and then he jerked his head towards his tent, “Draw the Moon Summoner a bath immediately. Have an Inferni heat it. Get me a Durast so we can get these dreadful things off of her wrists. Waste no time, she is in pain.” He ordered and Fruzsi ran off in a frenzy.

Within only half an hour, you already had a Durast remove the shackles from your wrists safely and you now sat in a deep metal bathtub, filled with hot water. Aleksander knelt by the side of the tub and kept his eyes on you the entire time you laid in the water. You looked over at him and he reached up towards you slowly to tuck a piece of damp hair behind your ear.

“Aleksander, what did your mother do? When she claimed she was going to kill you.” You asked quietly.

He sucked in a deep breath for a long time before he blew it out and then he gave you a very small, very sad smile.

“She told me she was going to burn you alive, then she… permanently severed the connection between Alina and I.” He answered and then held up his right hand.

It was deep grey and glinted metallically in the low light of his tent. You stared at it for a moment before you looked up at him, a little frown tugging your lips downwards.

“I should have stopped her, Aleksander, I’m so sorry-“

“Do not. No. You will not apologize. You couldn’t have done anything. Judging from your state now and even when you called on me the second time, you were in no condition to stop her. I am simply grateful that you are alive and you have returned to me.” He explained in a soft voice and you reached out of the tub to gently take his new hand in your own.

You intertwined your fingers with his and you closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the edge of the metal tub. He allowed you to hold his hand for only a few minutes before he pulled away from you and stood up. You opened your eyes and looked up at him as he shed his kefta and a few other layers until he was only in his base shirt, a loose fitting black shirt made of silk. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and he knelt back down next to you and he held his hand out to you and nodded towards it.

“Hand me the cloth, my dear.” He instructed softly and you reached down into the water to search for the cloth that had been in the tub with you. You found it a moment later and then brought it out of the water, wringing the excess water out of it, and you dropped it in his hand.

He made a pleased humming sound and he grabbed your arm and lifted it up towards him. With a touch as soft and light as the silk of his shirt, he began to clean your skin with the cloth.

You watched his scarred face as he bathed you, and the sight broke your heart in the best way. He looked so serene and so peaceful, making his features softer and you swore you had caught a glimpse of boyish innocence in the sincerity on his face. The world had been so cruel to him for five centuries, and despite it all, he’d allowed himself to love you; allowed you to love him.

Your eyes glittered with tears and they began to fall freely down your cheeks while you watched him wash your arms and your legs, being especially tender with the places that had little bruises or scrapes. His touches were usually selfish, driven by his own need to have you close to him, but as he touched you now, there was nothing but selflessness behind his actions. When he moved up with the intent to clean your face, your tears made his face fall as he shook his head.

“As beautifully as you cry, I have half a mind to let you continue, however, the sight breaks my heart. What pains you?” He asked softly and reached up with the cloth to very carefully wipe at your face.

“It is not pain. You are my greatest accomplishment.” You whispered and leaned into his hand as he wiped your cheek, “You are the best thing that I will have ever known in this life.” You added, your lips trembling as you forced them up into a smile.

He stilled his movement and he looked down into your eyes and simply shook his head before he went back to washing you. Once he had finished cleaning you up and washing your hair, he stood up and rolled his sleeves back down. He pulled all of his shed clothes back on, along with his kefta and he grabbed a large, thick towel off of the table he stood near. He came back to the tub and held it open, looking down at you.

“Can you stand, darling?” He asked softly and you nodded. You grabbed the edges of the tub and very slowly pulled yourself up.

Before you could even step out of the tub, Aleksander wrapped the towel around your upper body and lifted you out of the water. Your bare legs broke out in goosebumps and you held onto his shoulders as he carried you to his bed. Once he sat you down, he readjusted the towel around your body and he knelt in front of you.

“You claim I am your greatest accomplishment. The best thing you’ll know. But you are mine. My greatest accomplishment, the best thing I’ll ever know. My peace. My sweet peace in the middle of the turmoil and chaos that is my long life. You are the truest kindness I’ve ever been shown, and whatever sent you to me knows I don’t deserve you, but Saints, I will try everyday.” He murmured and laid his head down against your thighs as he knelt before you.

You reached up and threaded your fingers through his hair and stroked it gently.

You looked down at him as he laid on your thighs and your chest ached with adoration for the man that was before you. No one else mattered anymore, how could they?

Alina had told you that you and her were meant to operate in tandem, but the sunlight is no place for the moon, and moonlight has no business with the sun.

No, you and the Sun Summoner had no business working alongside one another, because Aleksander had been right when he said that the moon needs the darkness to shine.

Moonlight needs shadows.

-

In all your life, you’d never imagined your death.

You’d never felt as if you’d die.

But you probably wouldn’t ever have imagined it would happen this way.

You stood by Aleksander’s side in the middle of The Fold. Alina and Mal had created a bubble around them, keeping the volcra out. Keeping the darkness out. Your hand was tightly closed around Aleksander’s and you held a bright beam of moonlight in your other hand, eyes fixed on Mal and Alina.

It all had happened so fast.

One moment Aleksander was pulling you against his side and Mal was shooting at the creatures of darkness that threatened to come in and wreak havoc inside the little bubble of light. The next moment, you were making eye contact with Mal. His face twisted in a feral anger, and he spun his gun towards you and shot it just as Aleksander dropped your hand to summon his Cut.

You didn’t even realize you’d been shot until warmth began to spread over your chest. You looked down to see the silver embroidery on your black kefta turning red with your blood, and that’s when you felt the pain. A hot, sharp ache bloomed through your chest and you fell backwards, head thumping against the sand. You’d been shot in the place between both of your collarbones, between the tiniest opening in your bulletproof kefta.

How capricious this universe can be, you thought.

Everything around you seemed like it was happening underwater, and you felt something shift next to you. You very slowly turned your head to see Aleksander on the ground next to you, clutching his side. He had been wounded, too. By what? You weren’t sure.

You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing- if you could even call it that. Every breath you took felt shorter and shorter and you were losing awareness rapidly.

It took you a moment to register that your name was being screamed and you opened your eyes to see a blurry Aleksander knelt over you. Light of pink and blue was swirling around everywhere and he pulled you up into his arms as if you were a child and he cradled you against his chest as he rose to his feet. The world became brighter and brighter around you until there was no trace of shadow.

The Fold had fallen.

You weakly grabbed at Aleksander’s kefta as he held you and your eyes grew hot and burned with fat tears.

“Aleksander,” you whispered weakly and let out a pathetic, weak sounding sob, “Please do not let me die, I don’t want to die. Please, I don’t want to die.” You begged, and you watched his face contort painfully.

He ground his teeth together as he looked down at you and his own tears threatened to fall.

“You are not going to die, do you hear me? Everything will be alright. You’ll still be my queen, wed under the willow at midnight. Remember?”

You did remember and you wanted to tell him you remembered but your mouth didn’t seem to want to form the words and your head didn’t move when you willed yourself to nod.

He let out a broken choking noise and he shook his head rigorously.

“Don’t you dare. Do not leave me alone on this earth. Y/n! Don’t do it!” He called and sunk to his knees.

Your head weakly rolled backwards and he grabbed your jaw gently, forcing you to look up at him.

“Please. Do not go this way, my love. It is not your time to go.” He whimpered and you shakily reached up and laid your hand on top of his as he held your jaw.

“You… are my greatest accomplishment. The best thing that I have ever known in this life.” You mumbled and gave him a weak smile.

“Your life is not over!” He protested and then he pulled your head up to his, resting his forehead against yours, “You are too young, my love. You are meant to live centuries at my side. Please, I know you’re strong, I need you to…” he trailed off and stared down at you as you cried. He wanted to beg you to fight, but the look on your face stopped him.

Your face was full of fear and you were shaking in his arms.

He knew you weren’t going to survive, and filling you with that false hope was not fair. Was he even going to survive? Likely not. He was a selfish person, but he couldn’t be selfish with you. Letting you die in fear because he begged you to hold on wasn’t fair. He couldn’t be selfish now. Not while you slipped away in his arms. His chest ached in a way he never wished to feel again, and hopefully he wouldn’t have to. He placed one kiss against your lips and bumped the tip of his nose against yours.

“It’s okay, my beautiful moonbeam. You can let go. Close your eyes, angel. Close your eyes and let go, it’s okay. I won’t let go of you.” He whispered, his own tears falling onto your cheeks.

“I love you. I’m so proud of you.” You breathed, your hand weakly falling away from his.

“And I love you, little love. Rest now. No one can ever hurt you again. It’s okay to just rest.” He said, barely above a whisper. Your tears and his mixed together on your face and you closed your eyes slowly.

With the last bit of strength you had in your body, you moved up just slightly and pressed your lips against his, and you did your best to muffle the sob that came from his mouth with your own.

A bittersweet smile crossed your lips as you moved away from his lips and you laid your head comfortably against his arm.

“My love, my life.” You murmured and he took a sharp intake of air to prevent himself from crying more.

He knelt there on the sanded ground with you until he watched you draw your last breath and he leaned down to kiss your forehead, painfully aware of all of the eyes on his back.

“My love, my life.” He repeated against your skin.

He very carefully laid your body out over the sand and rose to his feet, turning to stare at Alina blankly. He looked over at Mal as he laid unmoving and Aleksander held his hand over his wound as he stood straight up.

“Now… you know sacrifice.” He breathed and watched Alina carefully.

Alina eyed him and then glanced at your lifeless body on the ground.

“I believe you do, too.” She spoke in a firm tone, “And look what said sacrifice did.”

“Indeed.” Aleksander replied blankly, willing himself to keep his eyes off of you, “Look what it did.”

Tears gathered in her eyes and she nodded once at him.

“Mal and I changed the world.” She said tearfully, a little smile on her face, “We tore down your Shadow Fold.”

“You have my sympathies for what comes next. When you realize that what you’ve done solves nothing. The world doesn’t need a Saint to protect it-“

“But you needed one. You just had to have a Saint. And look where it got her. Perhaps the world doesn’t need a Saint, but look what you have done to yours.” Alina shouted and pointed at you.

His eyes wandered towards you and he shook his head, holding his hand over the gash in his side caused by Alina’s Cut.

“Your Firebird did this. Not I.”

“No, she is dead because of the choices you made.” Alina stated, shaking her head just once.

“Choices you, too, will make in time.”

Alina jutted her chin up into the air and she balled her fists at her sides.

“I will never walk your path. And if you hadn’t carried her down it, she would never have walked yours either.”

“I know you believe that now-“ Aleksander stepped forward and let out a groan, holding his side with both hands, “But soon, you’ll have no equal. The years spent alone will grind you down, they will harden you. And who will be there to shield you from it? Who will be there to save you? I could have. Y/n could have.“

There was a long pause shared between the two of them, and Alina grasped his shoulder when Aleksander approached her unsteadily, still clasping his wound.

“I will save myself. Your legacy is already written. It always has been. No amount of love for or from a girl could save you from that truth. There is no redemption.” She gave his shoulder a hard shove and he fell to his knees in pain.

He let out a long, gasping growl, and one of his nichevo'ya poured out from his back, taking on a sinister form behind his kneeling body.

The creature grabbed Alina, by the throat and lifted her up and when Aleksander tried to stop it, the creature flung him backwards.

A blade came flying through the air and pierced the shadow form, sending it scattering into the air, and Alina fell from its grip. Aleksander pulled himself up off of the ground at the same time as Alina rose to her knees and he grunted.

He walked towards her and offered her his hand.

“You can’t control them, can you?” She asked shakily, “You can’t control any of it.”

“I thought I could control it all once.” He spoke and Alina eyed his outstretched hand as if it were a venomous snake and he continued on, a tear rolling down his cheek, “Find peace. And for a moment…” his eyes fell shut and he tipped his face up towards the sky, “I swear I did.”

He inhaled shakily and his mind flickered to you. Every little moment with you seemed to rise to the forefront of his mind. The first night he held you and lulled you to sleep, the night of the winter fete when you promised to stand with him forever, the afternoon just mere weeks ago when you two had whispered your first and most meaningful “i love you”s. Tears were steadily falling down his cheeks now, slipping through his closed eyelids while your sweet voice filled his ears, calling his name, singing him praises. In his mind, you weren’t laying on the sand with a bullet in your chest. Instead you were laying underneath the moonlit, starry sky with him, in a world where forever meant forever.

Not here. Not in this cruel place where you had to be the atonement for all his wrongdoing; the price he paid for the sins he committed.

This world was no place for you. He swore you were his Saint but as he imagined felt your touch on his face there in the middle of what used to be his Fold, he began to wonder if really you were an embodiment of The Moon itself. Graceful and beautiful in all endeavors.

He could hear you calling for him and he leaned forward to meet your call, further, further…

Until he could lean further no more because a blade had pierced his abdomen.

He laid his hands on top of Alina’s as she held the sword in his stomach and he looked up into her eyes as black blood fell from his lips.

“Thank you.” He mouthed.

She gave him one nod and withdrew her blade, sending him falling backwards onto the sand next to you.

He heard you call for him again, and you were closer this time, and he was ready to answer your call.

Alina stood over him and he let out a little cough before he sucked in whatever breath he could to speak.

“Alina. You make sure there is nothing left of me. But her… please see to it that she is buried underneath the willow tree just behind the Little Palace. Please. She deserves that much. Make sure she’s remembered as a Saint.” He begged, giving the Sun Summoner a little nod.

She gave him one nod in return and pursed her lips.

“For her, Aleksander. Not for you.” She whispered and he gave her a weak smile before he looked past her, up at the sky above.

“I hear her.” He breathed. And it was true. Your voice rang in his ears, singing his name.

“Go to her.” Alina commanded quietly, her voice softening only slightly.

So he did.

[traitors-and-threats]

Hello! It's been a while since I've ever posted in here, but I will be releasing a new fic and it's about BigBang, it's also a yandere fic

It made me wanna write BigBang because I've started to get into them more

I don't really have a bias but I'm leaning toward t.o.p since my first fic is about him

I'm current writing it and it's one of my longest one

I hope you guys would support me:)

#bigbang #gdragon #kwon jiyong #t.o.p bigbang #t.o.p #choi seunghyun #taeyang #daesung #dlite #kang daesung #dong youngbae #yandere #yandere kpop #yandere au

[traitors-and-threats]

imagine smoking weed with aouad characters preference *if i didn’t do a character you want done just let me know, i only did characters i knew the best. this wasn’t requested im just a stoner and wanted this 😂*

warnings: marijuana use, implied smut

gyeong su

“hey.. y/n/n.” he looked over at me with a silly grin on his face. he was sitting next me on the grass. it was evening time after school, we had walked to an abandoned home close to the street we lived on.

“what?” i said turning my head to look at him. i was smiling while trying to contain a giggle. we had just smoked a joint i successfully snuck into school and made it through the day without getting caught. gyeong su had never smoked before but told me he wanted to try it.. so me being the bestest best friend in the world risked some shit to make that happen.

“it might just be the weed but… i always thought you were kind of hot.” he shrugged nonchalantly and looked away from me still keeping a goofy grin on his face. “even if you’re the #1 shit head in my life.” he added making me smack the back of his head. “ow! what the fuck?” he groaned. “i just said you were hot..asshole.”

lee cheong san

“you’re so pretty.” cheong san admired me with hazy eyes. i blushed and looked away, packing another bowl. i had been having a bad day, i was ignoring his texts and calls so he waited til night time to come surprise me cause he knows i always sneak out to my back yard after my parents sleep to smoke a few bowls before bed. “it’s true.” the thc in his veins eliminating his nerves. “even if you didn’t get me high i would say the same thing.” he joked knowing it was his idea to smoke with me not mine.

“talk to me tomorrow and then we’ll see stoney.” i winked at him before flaming the bowl and inhaling, making him groan in annoyance.

“why do you have to pretty AND stubborn?”

yoon gwi nam

“i think i like this.” i sighed happily and layed next gwi nam in my bed. my parents had left for vacation so of course that meant i was gonna do everything i wasn’t supposed to. gwi nam put the blunt back between his lips and deeply inhaled. i was on my side watching him. he looked so relaxed for once.

“what?” he spoke while exhaling the smoke. “me being in your bed?” he spoke slyly with a big smirk on his face. his eyes were closed but he knew he ruined the moment without seeing my expression.

“no dummy.” i couldn’t help but giggle. “seeing you calm.” i grinned at him and took the blunt he was passing to me.

he snickered and threw a lazy arm over my hip and snuggled his cheek into the pillow under his head. with his eyes still closed he causally replied. “you like my calm huh? well you better savor it because as soon as this blunts gone i’m taking full advantage of being able to make you scream in a parentless house.”

jang woo jin

“stoooop.” i whined trying to contain my laughter and wiggle away from his non stop tickling.

“say it.” he said trying to be serious, but not succeeding. he wrapped an arm around my stomach to keep me in his lap while his other hand continued to poke me making me giggle uncontrollably.

“no!” i squealed when he poked me in a sensitive spot. “you’re an idiot.” his tickling got stronger and i couldn’t take it anymore. “ok ok!!” woo Jin still didn’t give me a break. “you roll better blunts than me!” i gave in hoping he’d stop but he continued to torture me with a big, lazy grin on his face. “and you’re sexy!” i added Making his pokes on me stop immediately.

“finally…” he sighed and dropped his head in my shoulder. “you said something smart.” he joked making me flick his forehead.

“buzz kill.”

lee suhyeok

i finally convinced my boyfriend to smoke with me and i think it’s the best idea I’ve ever had.

we were snuggled up on the couch in my parents basement. they liked suhyeok so much they actually allowed me to have him stay the night, but warned if they heard and funny business it was done. they were already asleep so we snuck out and smoked a joint outside before coming in to watch a movie. he was laying on his back and i was on top of him, my eyes half open and watching the movie in front of us. i felt him staring into my face. “what?” i glanced up at him and saw his hooded eyes and little smile on his face.

“you’re so soft..” he spoke sweetly while slowly grazing his hands up and down my back, his hands under my shirt feeling my skin. “how’d i get so lucky?” he spoke genuinely and i’m sure my cheeks turned bright red.

“shush.” i smiled and hid my face in his neck. “you’re just high.”

“yeeeah…highly in love with you.” he retorted and flipped me over so he was on top of me and my back was on the couch. not giving me time to respond he pressed his lips against mine in a passionate kiss. hopefully we don’t get caught in any ‘funny business’ cause i want him with me every night.

[traitors-and-threats]

My writing skills after not writing for a year: 📉📉📉📉📉📉

I somehow lost passion for it at some point last year, but I'm glad that I regained it again so I have to practice again and again

#writing skills

[traitors-and-threats]

I'm planning on making a yandere halfbie suhyeok x male reader but if you want you could have the idea, you have a much better writing than I do and if you want I could try to help you with the summary and if you want suhyeok to not be a hambie than it's ok ^•^

the lack of male!reader content for the aouad boys 😭 makes me so sad but i get so happy whenever i find one

(and if there are those reqs sent in i will most likely finish them first)

[traitors-and-threats]

Masterlist

Author's note: I only post on tumblr at the moment, I dont write in any other platforms but I used to write in Wattpad..

Please refrain from copying my work if you're inspired in writing your own, is ok to take a little inspiration but not too much to the point your work is like mine but add a lil words

F-fluff

A-angst

S-smut

D-dark

All of us are dead

Choi namra:

"only thing we share is one last name pt 1"-🖤

Lee suhyeok:

.....

Nam on-jo

.....

Lee-cheong san

....

Jang wu-jin

....

Jang ha-ri

...

Squid game:

-am not writing at the moment

Hwang junho:

The one condition- D

Salesman/gongyoo:

The lifeless doll- A and D

Harry Potter:

-am not writing at the moment

Tom riddle:

Husband Tom riddle x wife reader- F

My little Ravenclaw- D and F

Headcanons:

Harry Potter and fantastic beasts reaction to Ravenclaw reader struggling to solve the riddle at their dormitory

#all of us are dead x reader #aouad x reader #aouad imagines #choi namra x reader #squid game x reader #hwang junho #hwang junho x reader #choi nam ra #the salesman x reader #yandere tom riddle #tom riddle x y/n #tom riddle fluff

[traitors-and-threats]

"only thing we share is one last name" || **Choi namra x brother reader

 Summary: "oh don't you find it strange?.. only thing we share is one last name.... Did I beat you in your own game?" 

Notes: family issues, violence, betrayal, gore etc.

Genre: angst

"Oh don't you find it strange?.."

I was running through the hallways, panting, sweating and out of breathe...

I looked behind me and saw zombies closely chasing me, I quickly looked away and ran faster, ignoring the ache through my body

I suddenly lose my footing and tripped...

Hard

I tried getting up but the pain was too much, I looked towards my older sister pleading for help but she looked at me emotionless as if she was contemplating if she should help me or not..

But one look at the monsters behind me.. that was all it took for her to continue running leaving me in complete shock..

I knew me and her never had a close family relationship.. hell! The last thing we will ever be is siblings but I never would have thought she would leave me in complete helplessness and despair..

I was left completely flabbergasted, that I didn't even fight back when a hand grabbed the ankle..

I didn't even fought back when I felt multiple teeth sinking into my skin, thighs, shoulders, stomach, arms, back,hands, legs...

It felt like shit, of course

But it didn't compared to the pain I felt in my chest... The heavy feeling as I felt a lump in my throat, stings in my eyes..

I closed my eyes as a tear fell, letting the zombies devour me

As a certain memory began to play..

"he's not my brother.." the 8 year old girl said staring right back at her classmate..

I looked towards at the ground as if I heard nothing but in reality I felt shattered and complete defeated as tears begun to build up..

I don't understand... I've done everything I could for her to view me as a brother or atleast see me something worth more than a dead plant...

"only thing we share is one last name" the little girl said loud and clear.. I would always remember feeling the huge stab on my heart repeatedly

Before it all went black...

-

I felt pain overtook my body as I contorted upwards with a gasp.... I looked up on my surroundings and saw that I was still in the hallway with blood and zombies all over it

confusion went through me as I was wondering why the fuck I didn’t turn into one of them or why they haven’t bitten me again while they could see  me clearly

 I first thought was that I was in heaven but quickly get rid of the thought, thinking there’s no way I’ll be in heaven with crimes I committed.

“yeah fucking hell no” I muttered grabbing the zombies’ attention as they hissed at you 

“Don’t hissed at me you fucking cunt” I yelled at them making them hissed more.

annoyed and angry I grabbed the nearby mop stick that cheong-san dropped and stabbed a zombie right through the mouth..

I quickly pulled it back and stabbed it multiple times angrily 

“I.. said.. don’t..fucking..hissed.at ME, YOU FUCKING CUNT” I yelled angrily..

I stabbed the zombie one last time making the stick break..

I felt my bone started to crack and let out a sigh of relief

“oh~ that felt good” I whispered as I felt my scars and bruises starting to heal...

I stared blankly at the zombie who is now laying on the floor twitching.. I started to remember what happened and felt the same anger all over again

I stomped at zombie’s head or rather smashing it with my foot as a tear fell on my eyes..

“I will fucking kill you choi namra!” I yelled and stomped the zombie over and over again only thinking of one thing

I will fucking kill namra whatever the fuck it takes

#all of us are dead x reader #choi namra x reader #aouad imagines #aouad x reader

[traitors-and-threats]

O-O

❝ WHEN DAWN BREAKS ❞ masterlist

SYNOPSIS ➢ a zombie apocalypse breaks out at hyosan high school and puts the students in danger. however, these students each have a past that will bond them together to fight back for once. oh, and they arent asking for permission.

PAIRING ➢ lee suhyeok x male!reader

AU ➢ enemies-to-lovers au!

RATING ➢ 18+ [do not read if you are a minor]

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ before you read!! : PLEASE FINISH THE SHOW BEFORE READING!! {it contains spoilers!} this series takes place in south korea, where it is known their mindsets arent as open minded as other countries. hence, you will be seeing homophobia take place, quite often. however true friends remain true friends no matter what, so maybe dont leave just yet!

CHAPTERS !

chapter one : being an outcast seems to be apart of the school experience.

chapter two : coming soon

© all rights reserved to “justice4gyeongsu”. please do not plagiarize, steal, repost w/o credit for momentary gain.

[traitors-and-threats]

Hiii could you maybe write love triangle between ( Lee Suhyeok x reader and Gwinam.) Like in the middle of apocalypse. Gwinam being a dickhead wanted to take reader with him but Suhyeok won't let him.

I had this dream ☺but couldn't complete it my mom woke me up🤐

Second request fulfilled! Really trying hard to get as many as possible done but, asides from that, I hope this is okay.

I was currently in quite the predicament. On one side of me was Gwi nam and on the other side was Su-Hyeok. They were both arguing whether I should stay or leave.

“She’s not going anywhere with you” Su-hyeok says with a glare. Gwi Nam scoffs as he gives a sarcastic smile and walks up closer to Su-hyeok. “You don’t get to make those decisions, shithead” he says. Su-Hyeok pulls me in his direction and puts an arm in front of me protectively. I hear a scowl come from Gwi Nam along with him pulling me in his direction.

The two stare at each other for a few seconds before Su-hyeok attempted to pull me back to him. Gwi nam stops his arm from reaching me and shoves it away. “Move” I hear Su-hyeok say. No movement is made and this sets something off in him because he pushes Gwi nam and pulls me back. Gwi Nam laughs dryly before running at Su-hyeok like some sort of bull.

Su-hyeok manages to move away in time and pushes me away. That’s when things went downhill. They started to throw punches at each other even going as far to headbutt the other person and it was insane. It was as if I was watching some sort of anime fight without the magical abilities part. Blood had started to run down their faces and the number of zombies in the area increased. I attempted to stop them but they wouldn’t listen to any of my yells.

I silenced myself when I heard the sound of glass cracking. I slowly turned my head and realized what was happening. I started to panic and ran at them, trying to pull them away from each other. “The zombies are gonna get through you idiots!” I scream.

The sound of glass breaking echoes across the room and their fighting stops. Suddenly, both boys step in front of me clearly ready to beat the shit out of the zombies. Both still glaring at each other and clearly ready to prove who’s better than the other. Whether it's to gain my trust is a mystery but it could be more than just that.

[traitors-and-threats]

MY FIRST GIRL CRUSH !

— na-yeon has always been jealous of gyeong-su, so when she saw an opportunity she took it and only then did she realize that it will always be you and him against the world

pairing! han gyeong-su x f! reader

warnings! violence, murder, zombies, spoilers if u haven't watched the episodes, death

note! i just thought that what if the reason na-yeon doesn't like gyeong-su is bc she likes gyeong-su's gf 😳

sung y/n. she's na-yeon's first girl crush. ever since the start of the year but y/n is gyeong-su's girlfriend, she has walked in on the two making out in different places of the school and has heard a lot about them from other students and she hates it.

when she first pointed out gyeong-su's scratch y/n immediately defended the man saying how she saw everything and that he wasn't infected.

while gyeong-su was inside the room, na-yeon did try to talk to y/n but she was too busy worrying about gyeong-su's condition. when half an hour passed by she entered even with na-yeon trying to warn her not to go inside. while gyeong-su was happy too see his girlfriend, na-yeon was raging in jealousy and that's when she decided to put her plan into action

when gyeong-su came out of the room y/n hugged him saying how glad she was that he wasn't infected.

"babe...if i turn into one of those will you stay by my side?" gyeong-su asked out of the blue, y/n responded with a "of course! i'll even let you bite me if needed"

cheong-san playfully rolls his eyes with a scoff "oh quit flirting already! we're in a middle of a crisis right now" he huffs while su-hyeok laughs

and that's when gyeong-su's nose started to bleed, na-yeon panicked so y/n took her boyfriend's tie off and tied it around their wrists

"here! i'll be the one bitten if he turns now stop panicking!"

y/n wiped gyeong-su's nose, looking deep into his eyes with a soft smile on her face. when the man started to feel weird he warned y/n and told her to take the tie off but y/n refused to do so

while gyeong-su was walking towards the door y/n was coming along with him

"y/n...i want you to live, i'll leave by myself ok?" but y/n shook her head "no! i told you didn't i? i'll stay by your side even if you turn into them"

"y/n let's just go! he'll-" y/n cuts na-yeon off "oh shut up! he wasn't like this until you came in"

gyeong-su started to cry and begged to stop and y/n immediately knew what he was talking about, the nights where he'd call her while crying and saying that he had nightmares of cheong-san and the others making fun of him all replayed back in her head

she tried to comfort him but he stopped and the sound of bones cracking replaced his sobs, with all his strenght he forced himself to look up at his girlfriend, y/n "i love you" he says before he completely lost himself

when he turned gyeong-su immediately bit y/n, it hurts, y/n thought but she didn't fight him

she opened the door with her strenght remaining and sent a smile to the others "stay alive for us" she says and dragged gyeong-su who was still biting her neck out of the room

a bunch of zombies launched towards her and bit her neck and shoulders but y/n could care less about that she just wanted to stay with the love of her life, han gyeong-su

© c0rpsefairii on tumblr | do not steal, copy, translate or repost

[traitors-and-threats]

Idk which one to choose-

A story of broken heart 💔 💔💔 and broken promise

[traitors-and-threats]

Istg-

Sang-woo: We are all equals in this team.

Also Sang-woo: Yo we got too many vaginas in this team wtf

[traitors-and-threats]

Second Thought

A/N: So, i’ve been out of the writing game for a long time, but after i watched Squid Game, i had the inspiration to do a little piece. I also used the actors name to fill in for Salesman’s lack of a name

I am not fully back into writing, but i would be more than happy to do some headcannons for Squid Game characters. I will do any headcannons, including NSFW. Not completely back in the writing game, but these would be something fun to work on in my free time. Thank you and let me know what you think!! 

Warnings: None other than some OOC for Salesman and unedited writing 

Word Count: 1,222

~~~~~~~~~

Gong- Yoo had always been a simple man, he thought. He knew what he wanted, he knew what he was, and he had no problems with any of it. And when he was on the clock, toying with the helpless, slapping the broken, he didn’t have a second thought. ‘It’s only how the world is’, he thought, ‘Can’t control what was obviously intended.’ But when he came around to his next intended client, he was forced to take a second thought.

Keep reading

[traitors-and-threats]

"The lifeless doll"

Salesman x reader

Summary based on this request

Warning: angsty, brainwashed, trauma, Major PTSD, lost of verbal communication associate with trauma, depression, self-harm, mental issues, and attempted suicide

Author notes: This request was actually from @writeformesinpie 's fan and when I read all like parts and the fanfic,I wanted to write what's the downside of the salesman's plan when he sent his wife in the games

IT WAS GOING WELL FOR GONG YOO, you have stopped protesting or disobeying or even question him..

But it didn't last when your condition has gotten worse.

even though you haven't spoken a word ever since you've gotten out of the games, you would still cook, bath, eat and the other things to take care of yourself and your husband..

But as time passed you slowly yet quickly started to get worse, your habit of zoning in into deep thoughts has prevented you to care of yourself.

It started by you forgetting to do chores and bath but it has gotten worse to the point that you have forgotten to eat and sleep.

You would just stare into blank space..

At first your husband didn't think much of it until he noticed how you haven't budge a muscle while you two were at the dinner table eating.

He slowly leaned forward in front of your face and wave a hand..

Once he saw that you didn't even acknowledge him, he dropped the butter knife from his other hands and gently grabbed your shoulders shaking you..

"darlin?... Come back" he whispered softly making you snapped out..

Your reflexes caused you to grabbed the butter knife and attempt to slit his throat but lucky for him he manages to dodge at the very last moment..

You pointed the knife at him, breathing heavily through your wobbly mouth, your whole entire body was shaking with fear, grief, regret and anger..

That was when your husband knew that he had gotten way too far..

--

It have gotten way worse as time flew..

You would stay in bed all day not moving at all and stared at the blank space.

Your husband had to bring you food and snapped you out to remind you to bathe, eat and sleep..

All that your husband felt was pure regret..

Something he definitely didn't expect to feel but he couldn't do anything about it.

This was his fault that you ended up being in this state and at this point you needed sleeping pills or drugs to fall asleep.

And if you did you would wake up howling, scratching anything and your throat as if you were being choked.

Your husband had to tie you u to prevent you of hurting yourself and him.

And he just stood there, watching you in a possessed like state

And once again he couldn't do anything about it but drown in sorrow and regret.

He should have just went with plan c....

@writeformesinpie- here I'm done, I'm sorry if it's short.. this is seriously one of the shortest fics I've ever written but I literally wrote this at 4:57 am- OK??

#squid game x reader #the salesman #gong yoo #salesman x reader

[traitors-and-threats]

“The One Condition”

(Yandere hwang junho x reader).

Summary:

"Come with me,brother" In-ho said with an offering hand

"I'll come with you....With one condition"

Warning: yandere behavior, dubcon/noncon themes, Dom/sub duo mentions of gunshots, blood and violence, drugging and more..

A/N: hi! This is my first squid game one-shot and I just would like to say that there is a time difference, I change the time where junho was caught by inho

-♡-

Junho never intended to fall for a player.. 

junho viewed them all as pathetic and no good, his intentions were to only find his brother and bring him back home nothing more, nothing less..

But that all changed when the 2nd round begun. 

he was looking around observing what was happening. 

the players all hunched over their dalgona trying sweating and internally panicking. 

not so long, sound of whimpers and pleads for another chance following by a gun shot making other people stop and gasps at the scene..

and then another gunshot was heard. 

and another.. 

sounds of guns, screams and whimpers could be heard.. 

until it all suddenly stop making the players panic more.. fearing of being next one to lay dead a pool of their own blood. 

it continued like that for 2 minutes.. 

until. The sound of an object swinging through the air has a very distinct swoosh sound.. 

players and some guards including junho looked at the direction where the sound came from.. 

 and long behold player 99 sitting in the swing and swinging like she wasn’t in a fucked up game with a silver container that contained the dalgona.. 

she finished quickly despite picking the most difficult shape.. 

she used to carve out the shape ever since she was little so she could get another one for free.. 

it was a strategy she use to get meals when she was little and had no money to afford a meal.. 

the scene was quite amusing.. 

Amusing enough to amuse the front man and that doesn't happen really often.

The metal clicking and clacking was the only thing that could be heard.

Players thought that she have gotten insane.

She looked so carefree and innocent, something that is DEFINITELY not seen often, especially in this game.

Suddenly the silence finally stopped as the triangle mask guard walked near her before speaking

"player 99, Have you finished your task?" The guard asked quickly snapping 99 out of her thoughts..

She calmly nodded before opening the lid and showing the perfectly cut umbrella to the guard..

Suddenly a female voice announced that she passed, so she stood up from the swing and walked towards the door as another gunshot was heard..

And that's how junho's obsession started

-♡-

Junho's obsession grew each time he watched you. It didn't matter what you were doing, wether you were eating, sitting, talking or zoning out it didn't matter what you did it still made his obsession grew.

You were now sitting quietly beside player 067..

The stone cold girl took a liking with your presence..

She found your presence relaxing and kinda enjoyable..

You didn't talk much which the stone girl find it quite enjoyable since she herself does not like loud noises or noises in any general..

Whenever you do talk it didn't annoyed her either..

It was 30 minutes before bed time and a middle aged looking man started approaching both of you..

You didn't really care as you didn't bother to acknowledge him and seems like Kang sae byeok didn't either..

"hey pickpocket and mute girl" the man spoke making Kang sae byeok look at him but you didn't instead you just sat there and listen to whatever he has to say

"will you two be alright?" The man ask

"especially pickpocket, looks like you and that thug over there aren't in good terms" the man continued as you went back and zone out, thinking about a plan on how you would survive once the riot began..

You took the plan on blending with the shadows.. it seemed like it would be the best for you..

You weren't really good at fighting and you have no one.. well you did have sae-byeok but you were sure that she wouldn't really help you.

And when the riot began..

You did exactly what you planned..

The lights were flickering which made you realized that this was all planned.. that was apart of the game.

You were panicking internally as you ran to the nearest corner to hide but as you were near you saw a metal bar making its way towards, almost hitting you if you didn't dodge it.

You slapped him into the face and while he was still recovering from the slap you gave him, you kicked him in the shin making him trip and hit his head on the bed bunk.. hard

You quickly went under the bed while looking around making sure that no one could spot you.

Suddenly a voiced which belong to an old screamed saying that in this case we all would just die.

Making it all stop..

Junho was the one behind the square mask and was immediately trying to look for you and once you stepped out from under the bed he couldn't help but let out relief sigh which was of course unnoticeable..

He then realized that your life is gonna be more in danger if you kept playing.

And definitely couldn't let that happen in any circumstances..

But he had no idea how to get you out..

You were all being monitored 24/7, the only place that didn't have any cameras was the bathroom but it won't work either because they won't see you two come out..

So he couldn't do anything but wait..

-♡-

Junho was now at the edge of the cliff, a gun raised pointing towards the man with black masked..

"take off your mask" he ordered, and surprisingly the man did.

And he couldn't believe who was behind it.

The man behind it.. was his brother.

The brother he was searching for over 4 years.

The man raised his hand as sign of an offer

"come with me, brother" in-ho said with an offering hand.

Junho was in an immediate conflict, deciding if he should accept or not.

He though of the out come of he would denied the offer..

If he denied the offer, he would die and what In-ho said was true, no matter how much he hated it

The Korean police would never care and he would end up dead..

So he lowered his gun and nodded before speaking

"I'll come with you... With one condition" junho stated

In-ho slowly nodded as a sign to continue

" I want player 99 out of the game, alive and unharmed.."

In-ho of coursed hesitated knowing that his condition wasn't just something that could've be done easily..

But nonetheless he agreed with nod of his head making junho shoulders slumped as relief drew over him. 

“we’ll have her sent back to her home with 5 million won-” in-ho was suddenly cut off the moment when he mentioned about sending the player where she came from. 

“no! I don’t want her to go back where she came from” junho said making inho blinked in confusion, brows slightly furrowing as junho took it as a sign to continue.. 

“I want her brought to me.... and keep her as a peace offering” junho elaborated as in-ho caught what he meant. and his reaction was quite the same as before when he was interrupted by junho.. 

Why was she so important to him? why did he wanted the girl out of the game? in-ho questioned but agreed once again with the nod of his head.. 

“we’ll take her out of the game” in-ho spoke sternly..

-♡-

You were sitting beside kang sae byeok and a girl you had no idea what her name is but her presence was kinda enjoyable.

After the breakout the next game started, you were recruited by Kang sae byeok and gi-hun with of course the protest belong to sangwoo saying that they should only bring strong men which made you dislike sangwoo already..

Gi-hun and sae byeok immediate defended you by saying that you might be in good use, seeing how you easily completed and pass the second game..

You were also quite the ninja, how you easily hid in the break out fight, how resourceful you were as you manage to kill one of the thug's goon by kicking him near his shin making him fall and hit his head.. hard, and how you also easily stole someone's soda without leaving a trace..

Sangwoo hesitated but finally agreed..

The third game revealed to be tug of war..

You all were sure that you would lose and die just how the first team did..

But when the old man suggested a method he used all the time way back and stated that he hardly ever lose..

You all decided that it was best to try..

And it worked, you were pulling the hardest you could but the opponents managed to get back on their feet and pulled your team..

You all were sweating, panting and screamed. You then manage to find a plan yelling out

"on 3 we have to take three steps forward!"

which immediately followed by a protest from the crazy lady yelling that your plan was bullshit..

Sangwoo then yelled that you all have to, seeing that it was the only chance you guys would win..

And you did..

It worked as soon as they tripped you all started to push again,causing your opponents to fall and nearly dragged you all to it..

But to your relief the blade finally hits the rope, cutting it.

You all lay on the floor panting and gasping for air..

You felt like dying like everything was burning as you feel your chest tightened but atleast you survived..

You snapped at out your thoughts when you heard a irritating voice reached to your ears, wincing at it..

You looked where the sound came from and saw the crazy old lady speaking and exaggerating what happened earlier.

You obviously weren't in the mood and didn't want to deal with her bullshit, so you stood up and left your corn on the stair as you walked towards the exit..

Knocking on it, you saw a square guard opened the window..

" restroom" you said tiredly, all of that pulling seemed to tire you out and all you want is some good night sleep without any voices or any sounds to disturb you..

The guard nodded as he opened the door, you made your way through the bathroom but Half way there you suddenly felt a pinch at your neck..

Quickly turning around, you tried to fight back but the drug left you in a sleepy and hazy state making you collapse on the ground..

The last thing you saw was the guard speaking at radio..

-♡-

The next thing you felt was a very soft and fine blanket around you but the quickly followed by a pain shooting through your whole body and head making you wince quietly..

As you quickly recovered from it, you looked around panicking as you try to find out where were you and why you were here.

Unfortunately, you were wearing a blindfold preventing you to see anything, you tried taking it off but surprise surprise, your hands are tied as well..

Letting out a huff you tried to shake off the blindfold.

It was pain in the head but you manage to take it off.

Before you could untie your hands, you were met by a man..

Immediately you thought that you were sold to some rich man and panic trying to get away as far as possible and untying your hands..

The man immediately came to you to stop your struggling..

He grabs both of your hands and try to pull them off your chest..

"hey! Shh.. shhh" the man cooed trying to ease your panic but it only worsen as you screamed

"who are you?! What do you want from me?! Where am I?!" You screamed as the man tried refraining you from hurting yourself or escaping from the ropes..

"hey it's okay! It's okay! Just relax-" he continued but you cut him off by hanging your forehead towards his nose making him stumble back from the sudden impact..

As he was still recovering you tried standing up but failed as you felt the ropes digging into your skin.

"Enough!" The man yelled making you flinch back and stood quiet as scenarios cross through your mind, flooding it..

"I'm wasn't planning on hurting you but if you keep on pressing buttons I just might" the man spoke sternly and you knew he wasn't joking..

"where am I?.."

"it's better if you don't know" he answered

"why?? And what do you want from me?" You asked again, he sat down on the edge of the bed making his face more visible.

You take a good look on him and observed his behavior, he was undeniably handsome, maybe even the most handsome man you've ever met but that wasn't your priority here.

Your priority here is to get the fuck out of this shit hole with the money so you could finally eat proper meals not just some expired leftovers, free dalgona candy, some sips of water from the bathroom sinks that you were sure we're contaminated and a warm place to sleep in..

The closest thing you could get from those things were the first meal given in this game and the warmest place you've ever slept on was the bed on these games..

And the finest clothes you've ever wore was the tracksuit.

You had to live through that for 19 years..

And when the man with a Gray suit offered you an opportunity that could give you all you've ever wanted, you of course agreed.

You glared at him while your hands were on your chest as if you were naked but you were the farthest of being naked.

You were wearing a victorian nightgown with the finest cloth you've ever felt and the duvet that was wrapped around your lower half was the warmest and the softest you've ever felt..

His behavior was something else though, he looked paranoid and was very weird.

"the games? What happened?! Has the games been terminated? But that's unfair! I've risked my life multiple times to get that money-" the man cuts your angry and disbelief rant by stating

"no the games weren't terminated, you were pulled out in the games but the other players is still playing" he informed and ready himself for the furious reaction he was gonna get.

"what?! Why?" You screamed at him clearly furious and frustrated

"because I wanted you to" the man said calmly

"what do you mean just cause you wanted to? That money I risked my life for could have given me Everytime I wanted! Proper meals!, A warm place!, And A fucking chance for me to restart my life!" You were in the brink of having a breakdown, you were so fucking close only three games and you were done!

"and you will get that!" He said rather loudly as he ascends towards you making you back away as if you could get any further.

"w-what do you mean by I could get those? I don't have any money for those and that game was my only chance-" the man once again cuts you off but this time it seems like he was losing his patience.

"I could give you all of that and all you can do is accept my love and be mine!" The man screamed angrily resulting to you looking at him as if he grew 16 heads..

"l-love? What the fuck are you talking about, I don't even know who you are or never have once encountered you til now and you're saying that you love me??" You fought back and this made him rub his hands on his face before releasing out a huge sigh..

"we've encountered multiple times just without you knowing" he said before continuing.

" I was guard 29 and the superior through out the games" he informed and you looked at him with no emotion.. well your face didn't show any type or form of emotions but inside you were dealing with at least 10 emotions..

The man then again sighed before walking towards the door and pressed the button and let his face be scanned.

A female robotic voice announced that he was verified and the doors where opened..

"you'll understand soon....." A silence fell over as he turned his head towards you

"hwang junho.. that's who I am" he said before walking out, leaving his very confused and mixed feelings darling behind..

@neocatty - here it is, sorry it took so long but I've already completed it days ago I just were deciding if I should post it or not but I did cause what could I lose, I think I'll do a pt.2 but idk

#yandere junho #hwang junho x reader #yandere #hwang junho

[traitors-and-threats]

🛐

stockholm syndrome ➳ do-sik (midnight)

wc: 3.3k, genre: angst, smut, warnings: kidnapping, knife mentions, past trauma, sympathizing a psychopath, car sex. the smut scene is pure filth i was blushing while writing it and i don't blush. i do not justify or condone the acts of psychopaths this is just fiction.

you don’t know what you did wrong in your life to deserve all the unfortunate events that keep happening to you, how was it hard to have a nice life after all the hell you have been through? you thought your life was getting better when you moved cities and got a nice job, not this only, but one of your co-workers set you up on a blind date to find yourself a boyfriend.

it all changed that night, your date stood you up and your pathetic self thought it was okay to have some drink and leave on your own. you were a little tipsy and of course, when you saw a nice looking man offering you to drive you home, thinking you were gonna get laid, you agreed, not knowing that you made a deal with the devil.

so here you were, your limbs tied together making it impossible for you to move, your tears dried up and your eyes red and puffy. you stared in fear at the man sitting on the chair in front of you watching you intently making you feel even more frightened of his next move.

“you were my easiest target, didn’t your mother ever tell you about stranger danger?” he smirked and you looked at him shaking your head, tilting his head to the side he mocked a confused look. “oh, why not? is she also easy like you?” he asked smirking at how your body trembled as you cried silently closing your eyes scared.

he stood up looking at the sharp objects spread on the table, you couldn’t see him but the clinking of the objects was a giveaway. your eyes widened in fear as he turned around holding up a knife in front of his face waving it. you tried getting away from him but it was in vain, he sat on his knees running the knife on your face and causing you to close your eyes giving in to your fate.

you made him confused, genuinely. every other victim fought against him, but you were ready to let him do whatever he wanted to you. it was almost as if you were like him. standing up, he glared at you putting the knife away leaving the basement he kept you on leaving you all confused and scared.

***

you don’t know how long you’ve been locked in this basement, all your kidnapper did was give you water little food for you to survive on. you didn’t understand why he kept you alive all this time, you think maybe he just wanted to play a game of cat and mouse and if that was the case he was going to win, you don’t stand a chance.

you tried thinking of a way to escape, but there wasn’t any way out of this hellhole. you wonder if anyone ever looked for you, did they even realise you were missing? you were surely fired from your job.

the door of the basement burst open and you looked at it in terror seeing your captor walking inside holding a tray of food. you looked at him and saw that he was bleeding a lot, his face had cuts and bruises were already forming. you gasped at the sight of him like this.

“who did this to you?” you whispered and he looked at you glaring harshly as he slammed the food down on the floor.

“that’s none of your business, just shut up.” do-sik hissed holding onto his side and you saw the blood was soaking his shirt.

“you’ve to go to the hospital, you could die,” you said worriedly. he looked at you surprised but managed to hide it.

“i told you before, none of your business, get it through your thick head.” he growled and you glared at him feeling brave for the first time.

“if you don’t want to cure it then i will, just grab some first aid kit.” you demanded and he looked at you angrily because you raised your voice at him.

but do-sik was too hurt to say anything, so he headed to the small cupboard he had in the basement taking the first-aid kit bag out walking back to you again. he put it on the floor and you put your hands up asking for him to untie you.

“i can’t touch you with my hands like this you might get infected.” you said and he sighed uniting your hands.

your winced rubbing your wrists soothing the pain you felt from the rope that kept rubbing against them. you grabbed the bottle of alcohol pouring some on your hands rubbing them together.

“lift your shirt,” you instructed softly as he listened to you feeling a little weak from the amount of blood he lost.

when you saw the gash on his side you gasped silently pouring some alcohol on the cotton cleaning the area around the gash. when you got to the bleeding area you grabbed clean cotton pouring some alcohol on it and looked at him mouthing a sorry before managing to clean it up.

he hissed loudly gritting his teeth at the burning feeling, you cleaned it up and saw it was still bleeding, you grabbed the dressing putting it over his wound pressing on it firmly.

“your injury is superficial, you’ll be okay but you need to rest.” you muttered grabbing the gauze roller to bandage his wound up.

“why are you doing this?” he asked confused but you didn’t dare to meet his eyes, “i kidnapped you, i literally took away your freedom.” he stated still looking at you.

“it was taken from me a long time ago.”

you answered sanitizing your hands before going to clean up the cuts on his face. you tried not to meet his eyes but it was hard when he was looking at you that way.

“remember when you asked why didn’t my mother warn me from strangers?” you asked and he looked at you waiting for your response. “because she died, she died when i was ten. leaving me with my father.” you said and for the first time, he felt guilty.

do-sik felt guilty because you seemed to be close to your mother, but the world was harsh and took her away from you. you finally met his eyes and he saw the tears that were threatening to spill.

“my father killed her, he was always spending our money and always came home drunk, he was high once and shot her. then i had to go to an orphanage because he was sent to prison. it wasn’t kind to me either.” you narrated lifting your shirt showing him your scars.

do-sik stared at your scars horrified, he was right. you too were broken just like him but the difference was that you remained innocent and he turned into a monster.

“so you see, you keeping me here locked up doesn’t make much difference. and even if you were to kill me, i’m not going to stop you.” you said putting adhesive bandages on his cuts.

“i’m not going to kill you.” he answered quickly shaking his head. he sighed looking at you. “you saved my life just now, it wouldn’t be nice if i killed you.” he said grabbing one of the pain killers in the bag swallowing it.

do-sik stood up feeling a little sour from the pain, you sat back looking at the floor. he looked down at you feeling bad for making you even miserable. he wanted to give you the chance that was robbed from him.

“i’m letting you go. i don’t think you should be here anymore, but if you tell the police i might just kill you.” he said and you looked at him surprised but smiled.

“trust me if i wanted to take you down i’d have stabbed you with the scissors.” you said and he gave a small smile uniting your legs.

you rubbed your legs waiting for a few minutes until you stood up feeling your back ache slightly, you stared at do-sik who felt saddened by letting you go but he couldn’t be selfish and keep you here.

“don’t go home again with strangers, miss.” he said and you looked at his handsome features finally able to see him properly.

“what’s your name?”

“do-sik.”

***

it’s been four weeks since do-sik let you go, you returned to your old life, your co-workers asked where you disappeared and you told them it was because a relative close to you passed away, and it was a believable reason for your boss to get your job back. although everything went back to normal, you couldn’t move on from him.

you missed him, you craved him, it was like he was a drug and you got addicted to him, his little gestures of trying to keep you alive was enough to spark your interest in him. but you knew you wanted him when he let you go. you know that wasn’t right or healthy, but you couldn’t help yourself, you were drowning in him.

you were walking home after having dinner outside, you wanted to treat yourself a nice meal. you felt someone following you like you were being watched, you felt scared and decided to just pick up your pace. you stood in the middle of the road acting as if you were looking for something.

“looking for this?”

you heard a deep voice and you whipped your head around seeing do-sik standing there with your necklace in his hand. you smiled as he walked over to you a small smile playing on his lips. he handed you back your necklace and you looked at it then looked up at him again.

“were you stalking me?” you asked wiggling your eyebrows playfully and he smirked.

“maybe? i had to know you were okay, besides you forgot this and i don’t even know how you managed to.” he said and you smiled nodding your head.

“yeah, me neither, but thank you so much, do-sik.” you said putting the necklace in your bag. “you going somewhere?” you asked and he shrugged.

“no, not really, i just wanted to mess with you, that’s all.” he replied and you shook your head, “i parked my car close, do you need a ride?” he asked and you looked at him crossing your arms over your chest.

“are you going to take me again?” you asked and his smirk widened shrugging.

“if only you insist.”

you laughed as the two of you walked to his car, you opened the door jumping in the passenger seat and do-sik sat in the driver’s seat. he looked at you with a strange look that you couldn’t understand.

“why are you nice to me? i made your life a living hell, and when you saw me you looked happy, and here you are sitting with me in the car as if i’m an old friend of yours.” he laughed sarcastically and your eyebrows furrowed not knowing where this all was coming from.

“do-sik what are you saying? you’re not as bad as you think you are.” you stated firmly and he smirked raising his left eyebrow.

“i kill people, y/n, i’m a fucking psychopath!” he laughed maniacally and you placed your hands on his face holding him in place.

“you’re not a bad person, do-sik, if you were you would’ve killed me when you had the chance. it’s not your fault whoever did this to you and made you become this. they’re the real monsters, not you.” you said looking deeply into his eyes making sure that every word sank into his mind.

he looked at you feeling comforted by your words, your words have awoken something dead inside him, he was finally showing emotion, he was feeling them. he too once was innocent but the world was harsh to him, they turned him into a monster and he didn’t fight back, he just let it beat him up.

you stared deeply into his eyes not holding back anymore you crashed your lips to his. do-sik didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you bringing you closer to him kissing you with much force. your hands were still holding his face while he was holding your side.

he grabbed you by your arm and without breaking the kiss, you jumped onto his lap the steering wheel glued to your back. you put your hands on his neck as his hands held your hips firmly, his tongue tickled your lips and you opened your mouth letting him explore your mouth and suck at your tongue.

you moaned grinding yourself against his crotch trying to create some friction to fulfil the desire burning up in your core. do-sik let go of your lips kissing all the way down to your neck sucking marks to claim you as his.

“if i have you, there’s no way out.” he whispered looking into your eyes stopping all his movements, you smiled kissing his lips mumbling against them.

“i don’t want out.”

that was his permission to go, he pulled away from you getting you off his lap and you understood that he wanted to move you to the backseat and so you did. you jumped in the back taking your dress off throwing it to the ground laying on the backseat.

do-sik took his shirt off jumping on top of you attacking your neck once again, it felt so much better feeling him now, you ran your hands all over his chest feeling his muscles. he pulled away looking at you his eyes filled with lust and desire. he got off you pulling you on his lap once again.

“ride my thigh, baby.” he whispered tearing your panties holding you by your hips grinding you against his thigh.

you moaned at the sensation of him guiding you, your clit rubbed against the rough fabric of his jeans making you jolt forward in pleasure, he smirked when he saw you getting the pace right wrapping your arms around his neck grinding your pussy against his covered thigh as he flexed it to give you more pleasure.

“oh fuck, do-sik, feels so good,” you said throwing your head back and he smirked pulling you down more against his thigh causing you to let out a scream.

the sight of your fucked out expression was enough to get him rock hard in his pants. your eyes closed, your mouth open moans slipping out exciting him more, your flushed face and messy hair as your breasts bounced slightly, he pulled your bra down attacking your chest with kisses and lovebites. he took one of your nipples in his mouth sucking on it grazing his teeth of the sensitive nub teasing you.

the pleasure was taking over your body, you were rocking your hips desperately chasing your high, your clit was throbbing and you needed to cum so bad, and having do-sik sucking your nipples added to the pleasure.

“do-sik, oh god, i’m gonna cum.” you whined moaning loudly feeling yourself clench around nothing throwing your head back feeling your orgasm crash over you.

do-sik swore he would’ve come in his pants just by looking at you cumming, you looked so ethereal, loud moans of his name falling from your lips, and the pleasure you were feeling appeared on your face making you look even more beautiful.

do-sik couldn’t hold back anymore, he pushed you back against the backseat getting on top of you unzipping his pants unrestrained his cock slipping inside of you with ease.

you moaned loudly feeling your walls stretching because of his cock, he didn’t give you time to adjust, he pounded inside of you in and out abusing your clit. your nails were digging down his back as he moaned at the feeling of pain and pleasure you were giving him.

“you feel so good around me, baby,” he groaned throwing your legs over his shoulder to go deeper inside you.

“you’re making me feel so good, so full.” you moaned tears falling from the corner in your eyes due to the overwhelming pleasure you were receiving.

“i want to fuck you all day and night, this pussy is mine, only i can be the one making you feel good. right? is it mine?” he asked pinching your clit slightly causing you to moan clench around him.

“yes, yes, do-sik, only you can make me feel this good. my pussy is only yours.” you cried out the pit in your stomach tightening.

do-sik let go of himself pounding hard inside you at an incredible speed, he could feel his orgasm approaching and you clenching your walls around him like a fist wasn’t helping only triggering his orgasm.

you let out a loud cry of pleasure cumming all over his cock, he moaned at how tight your walls were around him as he chased his high his hips snapping against yours as he snapped stilling for a moment cumming inside of you.

slowly, do-sik was thrusting himself inside of you causing you to moan feeling too sensitive, you felt his cock softening and he pulled out of you and you winced at how empty you felt without him. he used his finger to push the cum that was dripping down your thigh back in your pussy and you whined at the feeling.

“please, no more,” you begged pathetically and he cooed at you kissing your lips.

“did i tire you out?” he asked and you nodded getting up as he sat back letting you on his lap.

you laid your head down on his chest and he wrapped his arm around your body letting you snuggle to him.

“don’t leave, please, stay with me.” you whispered and he looked down at you pushing your hair back kissing your forehead.

“i don’t think that’s possible, not after that mind-blowing sex,” he laughed causing you to blush and hit his chest playfully.

“shut up,” you murmured and he pulled you away from his chest moving your hair behind your ear leaning down kissing you softly on the lips. when he pulled away he looked at you lacing your fingers with his and said,

“i don’t think i can be away from you anymore, i don’t know what you did to me or my heart, but i know that i’m willing to bring you the whole universe just to make you happy, i’d burn down the world if someone dared and took you away from me. for the first time you made me feel sane, you keep me grounded and i want to make you happy all the time, i want to make you proud of me, i want to show you off rubbing it in everyone’s face that you’re mine, i want to be a better person for you. i want to love you like you deserve it.”

you looked at him feeling tears of happiness pool in your eyes, you held his face in your hands kissing him on his lips passionately like your life was depending on it.

the both of you were smiling through the kiss and you pulled away wiping your tears feeling over the moon with his confession.

“i have never cried in my life because i was happy, i lost hope that i was going to find someone that would love me how i wanted to be loved. you changed that, do-sik. i don’t want you bringing me the universe, i don’t want anything but you with me. i love you.” you confessed and he smiled kissing the back of your hand.

“i love you too, and i promise i’m not going anywhere.”

- requests are open!

[traitors-and-threats]

Tell me all the ways to stay away.....

Hand pictures are from my friend @sirnoalol