transcotard

[transcotard]

just remembered im alive . . ! this sucks

[transcotard]

i didn ' t do makeup this morning . . . i will tomorrow

[transcotard]

doing more research about cotards delusion and writing about it in my rq notebook . . .

[transcotard]

#need #goals

[transcotard]

[transcotard]

trigger warning : sh

i hate how our main coping mech , cutting , always makes us feel worse . looking past the guilt and shame we feel , it upsets us because it reminds us we are alive . the pain, yes , but mainly the blood . seeing warm blood flow feom our body reminds us we are alive and our heart is still pumping blood . it sucks . might just start holding ice against our skin instead

#tw sh #vent #kind of ? #tw self harm

[transcotard]

maybe the reason we ' ve always been attracted to the idea or rot and decay , dying and being grotesque is because of our desire to be undead . our desire to believe we are a walking corse . for fucks sake our system name is decayed minds . one of our names is rot .

[transcotard]

doing my makeup again . . .

[transcotard]

i hope my boyfriend supports me . i logically know he does and shes stated she doesnt care but the gnawing thought that he finds this weird is still there . . .

#vent

[transcotard]

post for myself so i can look back to convince myself of these things . tw for sui mentions

i died after od'ing and slitting my wrists , and because of my lack of faith i was put in limbo , the state between the typical heaven and hell .

however this place isnt like people describe it , its individual for each person . for me, its like i was brought back to life and put in a shitty house . they made my life have good parts too though, to balance it out . so i am a walking corpse in a place where i am only truely happy temporarily.

my body is always aching and i am in constant pain because my joins and muscles are breakinf down from the lack of bloodflow and feom beinf dead . this causes my joints to rub against bone and muscle , displacing things and making everything hurt

i have twitches , aka tics , because my brain is deteriorating and sending off random signals as a side affect

i am a mecrophile because im attracted to my fellow dead beings .

#tw sui #tw sui mention

[transcotard]

rate the layout . . .

[transcotard]

main @necropedia

side blog to vent about transID dysphoria & transition progress / goals

transcotard & transdead

will tag appropriate things with "tw [subject]" however i wont tag anything relating to death bc thats the whole blog theme .

reference post

#transdead #transcotard #transdeath #transid