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trashpandato · 9 days
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I LOVE being alive so I can be mediocre at SO many different hobbies
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trashpandato · 23 days
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fic: come what may
a/n: this is a continuation of THIS post which was inspired by the fanart. please give that fanart some love if you haven't, it was so very compelling to me and that's why we're here.
anyway read the first part and then come back to this lol
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Lena retreated to the single stall washroom after graciously thanking everyone around her for their applause and cheering. In the quiet of the small space, she was able to think about the last five minutes of her life. 
It had been a week since she had spoken last with the caped hero, the word ‘villain’ rang in Lena’s ears still to this day. 
It had stung her, lanced through her more like. But in this world, she had no choice but to keep moving forward if only to survive. She knew that reintegrating Lex back into her life was a risk, but what was the alternative? To let back in the one person she’d trusted with so much of herself only to be the same one who broke Lena irreparably? It figured that they would be one in the same. Supergirl had a habit of being duplicitous, after all. 
Despite all of these thoughts, the dance had been more than she anticipated. For a brief moment in time, her world narrowed to the size of the dance floor when she and her former best friend twirled and glided across the space, held close to one another, swaying to the beat of the song.
Until Supergirl called out to her, the tenor of her voice bringing up a world long gone, the time together but a distant memory. Only to then ask her, “what’s your plan here, Lena?” 
The illusion broke through and shattered all around them, and her eyes darkened, her heart hardened. 
“You will never trust me,” she announced finally when she looked at Kara’s beautiful face, her equally beautiful blue eyes. Now, an enemy. “I can see it in your eyes.” 
She pulled away and turned, not sure she could look at that face again, anymore. Still, she would admit that it was enough consolation to see Supergirl on edge, to put her on her red-booted back foot.
She recalled turning her head slightly and caught enough of Supergirl's departure from the middle of the dance floor and into the evening sky. It gave her some satisfaction, but not nearly enough to placate the ache in her chest. 
Lena stared at her reflection; her makeup remained impeccably applied, impeccably in place despite the exertion of their dancing. The heat of Kara’s hands lingered all over her body, the warmth of those hands pressed into her, holding her in the illusion of safety as the song notes progressed. Her former best friend was clumsy in her movements, at least at first. It would have delighted Lena plenty to see Supergirl stumble her way through her movements. Yet, she held her own and led the two of them throughout the dance floor in an acceptable tango. On any other day, any other moment, she would have been charmed by it, let herself be led around so long as they stayed in each other's arms.
But those moments were no longer accessible to them. 
She returned to her guests and maneuvered through the compliments and conversations, but every now and again, she glanced up into the open sky. Just in case.
In the end, Lex was defeated and rid of once and for all. The details of it were fuzzy to her now, but none of it mattered. Simply that he was gone from her life for good, that he would no longer be a terror to anyone and everyone, to those she loved. 
Once again, however, she was left to pick up what remained of his ruinous rampage, if only to be surrounded by something beyond her isolation. 
It was just a few scant weeks ago that she’d reached a truce with Kara and her Superfriends (nevermind that she’d once thought of them as her own friends, as well). Now here she stood weeks later: alone. 
Lena had run out of options or excuses and finally sought out help from Kara without hope or expectation for true reconciliation or forgiveness, from either of them. They’d drawn their lines from one another so long ago, she’d considered them carved in stone. 
Now she stood on her empty balcony overlooking the city just after the sun had set and the sky was now engulfed in dark blue. 
Without a brother, a mother, a father. An orphan, twice over. It seemed that she was destined to live in solitude. They say no man was an island, yet perhaps Luthors were. 
She gazed at the last remnants of the setting sun across the horizon, not giving away that she heard the sound of a cape billowing at the far end of the balcony. She made no move to say or do anything, simply took a sip of the amber liquid in her glass. If Supergirl had anything to say, then Lena was not going to stop her. 
“How are you?” Kara finally said, after minutes trickled past them. 
She scoffed, unable to help herself. She glanced over her shoulder and watched as Kara hovered outside of the balcony. She simply took another sip of her drink. 
Kara, never one to leave well enough alone, moved so that her feet touched the ground and she stood somewhere behind her. Lena closed her eyes and took a swig of all of her remaining drink. 
“You’re trespassing.” 
“I know.” 
“I can have you arrested.” 
“That’s fine.” 
“What do you want from me?” 
“A dance.” 
Lena quickly turned around, Kara standing only a few feet away, her arm outstretched. She glanced up and met blue eyes, an ocean of patience. 
Resigned, Lena unfurled the fist by her side and placed it in the offered hand. She took a step forward until their bodies were almost flush with one another, Kara’s other hand placed on the small of her back. An easy fit between them. A thought that Lena shoved into a box for rumination and reflection later on. 
“There’s no music,” she commented needlessly even as she put her free hand on Kara’s shoulder, her nerves manifesting in lightly scratching the fabric of the supersuit under her fingertips. 
“There’s always music.” Just then, Kara pulled her phone from a hidden compartment behind her and pressed the screen until soft music started playing. It was the final duet in Moulin Rouge between the two leads, where she and Kara shed a tear or two when they watched it in the past—a distant lifetime ago. They were now extraordinarily different people from those versions of themselves. 
“This musical was a tragedy.” 
The superhero shrugged, her eyes focused past Lena’s head. “I know.” 
“Are you trying to tell me something?” 
Kara eventually returned her attention until their eyes met and Lena waited. She watched as Kara took a deep breath and offered Lena a cautious smile, resignation plastered on her own face. “I’m trying to tell you a lot of somethings.”
She studied Kara’s face, wanted to glean any kind of information from her features alone, but Kara betrayed nothing. “Start with one.” 
“I’ve been practicing.” When she furrowed her brows in confusion, Kara clarified by twirling Lena out of her embrace only to pull her back into her orbit once again. This time without bumbling through any of the movements nor without a stutter in her steps.  
The move surprised Lena enough to take her breath away, her senses suddenly alight as she considered what any of it meant. When? How? Why?
“Tell me another,” she whispered, her hands grasping tighter onto Kara just as the song started to swell. 
“I want to start over.” 
Lena stopped in her tracks so Kara did, too. Distantly, Lena observed that neither released their holds of one another.
“Why? We’ll only hurt each other.” 
“Maybe. Probably,” Kara supplied before tugging Lena back closer to her and swayed side to side to encourage Lena to do the same. “But life without you in it is infinitely worse, I think. So if it’s all the same to you, I’ll take my chances.” 
Lena’s heart felt like it was getting catapulted across time and space. And maybe it was actually getting catapulted along with every sway she took with Kara. Still, she couldn’t help but push. “Even with a villain?” 
Kara grimaced slightly before flashing an apologetic smile. “Sure, Lena. Even with a villain.” 
“I was one, you know,” she offered, watching for Kara’s response. She was complicit, had gotten her own hands dirty. She owned up to that. 
“I know.” But Kara simply shrugged and brought them closer. “Believe it or not, I’ve been one, too. You’re not exactly very special in that department, Lena.” 
A small laugh that bubbled out of her caught her off guard, and Kara smiled at her before spinning her away and back together again until Lena hid her face against the crook of Kara’s neck until the song finally ended. 
They parted from each other, Kara taking a step back until she was a few feet away, her hands clasped in front of her. 
“Thanks for the dance,” Kara said. 
“You’ve gotten better.” 
“I appreciate that. It means the practice has been paying off.” As if nodding to herself, Kara gave her a smile and began to turn so as to take off into the night sky, but Lena stopped her. 
“Tell me one more,” she urged, realizing she didn’t want their interaction to end quite yet. 
Kara then looked over her shoulder. “Can I come back tomorrow?” 
“If you’d like.” 
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” 
“I’ll hold you to it.” 
Kara’s body twisted so she was looking at Lena more fully. “Goodnight, Lena.” 
“Goodnight, Kara.” 
Lena watched as she took off into the sky, disappearing into the night. She’d stayed out there for a little while longer, the heat of her drink coursing through her veins while the moment between them warmed her against the cool breeze that passed through. 
Nothing had yet been fixed, and there was a long road ahead of them. But something in her caged heart had loosened, allowing her to breathe again. That was a start.
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trashpandato · 24 days
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ficlet: thrice over
the first way to fall in love is exactly how you think it goes. imagine two people across the room from one another, eyes drawn up, searching without realizing, until they finally, fatefully, meet. a sea of people they don't even notice because, well, how could they? sparks, the cosmos, fate aligned. all the good shit. it's remarkable, sure. but conventional.
the second way to fall in love is also exactly how you think it goes. slow, slow, slow. then all at once. it's a seed being planted in soil and watering it regularly, sunlight streaming through the window. it sprouts and it grows, steady. then, one day you get back from vacation, you glance at the bloom of petals and flowers. it sneaks right up at you until it's enveloping you in its urgency and now that you notice it, you can't unnotice it. can't unknow it. can't take it back. it's there now, like a new freckle drawn on your skin. this one is quite common, too.
the third way to fall in love is not rare, either. and if you guessed that it happens when one singular instance, a speck of a moment in time, really--sometimes innocuous, sometimes revelatory--happens and the ground beneath you shifts while you hover in place just a few minuscule millimeters off the ground, and changes your perception entirely that you ever wonder how in the hell you ever missed it, then you'd be correct.
which brings us to kara.
who, somehow, fell not once, not twice, but thrice over for her sworn enemy: lena luthor.
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trashpandato · 2 months
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What do you think would be lena's courage gaunlet test
therapy
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trashpandato · 2 months
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trashpandato · 2 months
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trashpandato · 2 months
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ATTENTION ARTISTS OF TUMBLR
since tumblr is going to start scraping blogs to train ai be sure to glaze and nightshade your art!! Not only will both of these programs protect your art from being copied but nightshade also poisons any ai that tries to steal it
here is some more info on these tools and where you can download them:
Nightshade: Protecting Copyright (uchicago.edu)
Nightshade: Downloads (uchicago.edu)
Glaze - What is Glaze (uchicago.edu)
Glaze - Downloads (uchicago.edu)
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trashpandato · 2 months
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They are already selling data to midjourney, and it's very likely your work is already being used to train their models because you have to OPT OUT of this, not opt in. Very scummy of them to roll this out unannounced.
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trashpandato · 2 months
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LGBT more like. Let’s Go To Bed. Let’s go bed to. Let’s. It’s bedtime.
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trashpandato · 2 months
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I’ve known Lena a long time, and I have never seen her like this.
She wants everyone to think she’s so tough.
Yeah, but she is mush on the inside.
Sam Arias Appreciation Week 2021 - Day 2: Favourite Dynamic(s)
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trashpandato · 3 months
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Hero (Kara character study. Angsty but gets better.)
I can save this world.
Kara looked herself over in the mirror, her chest puffing in silent pride at the symbol that lay across it. I am the last daughter of the House of El, she thought to herself. I am the last daughter of Krypton, and no one will ever forget it.
Her mind drifted to watching her cousin’s feats from her living room. Collapsed bridges, raging floods, villains - human and alien alike - who sought to cause harm. How he stood in the way, the El family crest on his chest, cape snapping in the wind. 
She couldn’t save her world, but she could save this one. She could make herself worthy of the House of El.
I can save this world.
She could still hear the screams from across the city, from the child she couldn’t get to on time. The fire had spread so rapidly that the mere minute it took for her to come up with an excuse and run away had cost a child his life. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, but there were others in the building she could still save.
She thought of asking Kal how he handled it, the loss of a single precious life that might still have been here had she been just a little better, just a little faster. But maybe he didn’t really deal with that - maybe she was just the failure he wasn’t. She had failed to be there for him, after all.
Then the news of her father’s involvement in Medusa came to light, and Kara stopped knowing how to feel about the sigil on her chest.
I can’t save this world.
It was the last conscious thought she had, as Reign’s hand loosened. She remembered starting to fall, but she couldn’t remember landing.
She was trapped - trapped in her own mind, away from everyone. Unable to escape. But she wasn’t damaged. She was stuck because… she was afraid? Because she was a failure. Because Reign represented everything she couldn’t be. How could she try to save the world, when destruction was so much easier than creation?
I can’t save this world.
What is it the man had said? “They’re not like you. You’re a superhero.” As though her cape made her any less a refugee who came here for safety, a child sent across skies to protect and be protected.
How does one fight a villain that lives in everyone’s soul, a piece of darkness and fear that turns outward with suspicion and hatred towards those that are different? Even if she was a shining example of the best of her kind, she would simply be discounted. “You’re one of the good ones,” they would tell her. Because hate was easy when there was fear.
I can save her.
Kara’s chest fluttered in panic as Lena held Myriad in her hand. It had been too easy, how quickly their relationship had recovered from Kara’s own cruelty. She never wanted the other shoe to drop. She hid, she always hid, hiding would always be easier than acknowledging the possibility of loss.
She thought she had lost enough in her life, but as the kryptonite encased her in the last remnant of her home, she could only feel a new type of regret.
I can’t save her.
Kara’s fists clenched as she stared down Lena on the balcony. You act like a villain, I’ll treat you like one, she thought to herself, hating herself every moment. She knew the torn woman in front of her was an adversary she had created. But she had tried, Rao, she had tried to do the right thing.
She didn’t know how she could live with the string of failure that had followed her ever since she had picked up the cape. But at the same time, she knew there came a point where - whatever she had created - she still needed to do what was right. 
Even if it meant giving up any hope of being with the woman she loved.
I can’t even save myself.
She could still feel the softness of Lena’s hand in her own when they reconciled. There was still so much they needed to talk about in the aftermath, something else she needed to confess. The bridge was there for them to cross, once it was all over.
But then the only option became to risk her own life. Her soul tore at Lena’s longing gaze when she left the Fortress, and Kara wondered if they would ever get the chance.
It was a twisted comfort, knowing that Lena cared, even in the midst of their fallout, even as Kara faced her eternity in the Phantom Zone.
They saved me.
Kara broke down sobbing when Alex shoved her under the sunlamp, feeling the painful tingling of her cells remembering how to process sunlight. Everything screamed at her - the thundering sound of the light breeze outside, and choking scent of motor oil from the passing cars, and the hammering of all her friends’ heartbeats from the Tower’s mainroom.
Her body screamed like she was 13 again, panic and joy overwhelming her, because the pain wasn’t tied to the loss like it was all those years ago. It was a second chance, with everyone she loved.
We can save the world. 
There was this exhilaration to being back, to seeing the blue oceans and red sunrises and green grass. Maybe it’s easy to get carried away, when you can forget what made everything so hard.
Her father was going to save this world from its own destruction. She was going to absorb the sun. It was easy to seek easy solutions for everything, only for it to solve nothing at all.
We can save the world, sometimes.
It felt so odd to smile and cry, as Lena pulled her into her arms. Kara’s mind jumped from seeing her sister so happy with Kelly as they danced, to the words that were missing. The words Kara needed to say to her best friend.
She knew in the night - once they were out of their wedding clothes and in their pajamas, curled up on Lena’s couch - the words would finally tumble out.
But as Lena stood in front of her, reminding her that the world wasn’t on her shoulders alone, Kara took the moment to pause. She thought of her old cape, torn up and folded neatly in her closet at home. The day she put it on, she never thought she’d need more than feats of strength to save the world.
But how could strength defeat masses manipulated into bigotry? How could strength defeat magic? How could strength defeat the best friend she had betrayed? She wasn’t here through strength alone, but through connection, and truth. As Lena reminded her, the only salve against the darkness was in standing together.
We can save each other.
A small smile crossed Kara’s face, as she watched Lena snooze next to her in the morning light, hearing her voice from the day before. “You can’t always be our savior, Kara. You shine your light and inspire others to shine theirs.” She could never save everyone. No one could. But that’s not what hope was about, as much as cynicism said otherwise. 
As Kara reached up to brush hair away from Lena’s face, she remembered the lyrical sound of her family motto falling from Lena’s lips. With each person who stood next to another, the spark grew. Perhaps they could someday create enough light.
Kara lowered her head, placing her forehead against Lena’s as she slept. As Kara listened to Lena's peaceful heartbeats and calm breaths, she found herself praying to Rao. Thank you for this spark.
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trashpandato · 3 months
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trashpandato · 3 months
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trashpandato · 3 months
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two days ago i discovered that Procreate offers some simple animation options and i’ve been waiting for an idea to help me try it out—and then the wonderful & generous @stnballoon asked (only when pressed!) for something related to “Liar Liar Plants On Fire”… for a drawing: Lena’s reaction when the door opens and she realizes “Supergirl!”
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trashpandato · 3 months
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love is stored in the friend who reads your fanfiction
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trashpandato · 4 months
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i agree so hard with your tweet. lena knows kara's favorite, sometimes even before kara knows them. that's why it's difficult even for lena's self-hate to deny kara's love for her. deep down she knows she's the favorite
The tweet in question:
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trashpandato · 4 months
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