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         for once in his many years, loki kept his mouth shut. thor would never understand the titan’s power until he was forced to face against him -- a day that loki hoped would never come. instead, he focused on his mistake. the word that felt thick and stale on his tongue, yet had rolled off with more ease than he cared to admit. the beginnings of a grimace danced over his lips and he attempted to avert his gaze. but then thor’s smile caught his attention; a mere curl of his lips and loki felt his heart pick up its pace. 

and then it DROPPED. 

“no,” was his first reaction. out of instinct he leaned away, body rigid with reluctance. but thor’s hands were on him, his eyes expressing his determination, reinforcing his demand request. his lips parted in preparation for further protest, but a small voice in the corners of his mind reminded him it was futile. if thor wanted to see, he would persist until he did. loki could refuse, he could put up a struggle and resist. but he was no less exhausted than he had been before, and if this was thor’s only term, and it would keep him from doing anything rash ( even temporarily )...

casting a hesitant glance in the blonde’s direction, loki mustered a weak, “fine. but you’ll only be upsetting yourself, you foolish MASOCHIST.” reluctantly he shrugged away from thor’s touch, positioning himself so that his back was twisted toward the other and his face was turned away. he didn’t want to see the expression on thor’s face, nor reveal anything through his own. his fingers tugged at the fabric of his shirt as though at a loss before finally, albeit with trembling hands and stiff arms, he pulled it over his head. holding his breath, loki shut his eyes, fighting to ignore his mind’s protestant screams. there was cool air on his back, though it did nothing to soothe him. he could feel them -- each one. the residuum of every welt, incision and burn--now EXPOSED. 

once again, thor had to bite down on his tongue to keep himself from retaliating with more of his own hubris. reeling in his temper and doing his best to think rationally, albeit not without a scowl, he said, “there must be something we can do, some way to defeat him. have you not learned of any weaknesses to exploit by now?” surely loki, of all people, was clever enough to have already devised some sort of strategy. unless, of course, this foe truly was that powerful –– but damn it, thor didn’t want to believe that. anyone could be beaten.

once upon a time, he hadn’t been a stranger to loki’s touch. for as long as he could remember, he had been free with physical affection where he tended to be reserved with verbal sentiments, and loki had fallen victim to that tendency more than anyone else, even reciprocating more often than not. yet it occurred to him now, as loki’s fingers slipped down his arm and left a trail of goosebumps in their wake, just how long it had been since those days. strangely, he found it difficult to follow what loki was saying until the word brother snatched his full attention. ( and made his heart sing, just a little. )

“i have missed seeing you so concerned for my wellbeing.” the corners of lips curved into a teasing grin, the likes of which he hadn’t aimed in loki’s direction in far too long. all too soon, however, it faded. “i don’t want to make that promise. as i said, they deserve punishment for their crimes, but…” but he couldn’t stand the lingering desperation in loki’s eyes, needed to erase it, even if only for now. “i will promise, if you allow me something in exchange.” his fingertips slid down loki’s neck, pausing on his chest as thor’s gaze flicked briefly over his torso. “let me see them.” an impetuous, morbid sort of curiosity, one that may only serve to make him even angrier, but a curiosity nonetheless.

#❝ never doubt that i love you. ❞ & with thor. | CLOSED ♛ #♔— interactions. #mjolniiir

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      loki spared a brief glance in the other’s direction, brow lifted in mild vexation. “i was ATTEMPTING to, yes.” his gaze drifted to the computer and he tilted the bottle in its direction. “you know, there are libraries and cafes within walking distance.”

Jin was currently tapping away on his laptop in the corner of the bar. His apartment currently had no wifi and this bar was the closest building that had decent food and free wifi. Hearing someone talking to him he looked up “Sorry? Are you talking to me?”

#♔— interactions. #jintrick #thank you for kim jongin

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Thor is confused tell him you want to have sex with him?

“thor is always confused, if you’ve yet to notice. and as strange and indescribably confusing as this is… SURE, WHY NOT??“

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       he didn’t understand. of course he didn’t. loki’s panic, though it  remained, was suddenly combined with familiar frustration. “you have no idea,” he whispered. “you have no idea what you’d be up against. this isn’t a scuffle on vanaheim---this isn’t comparable to jotunheim where you were outnumbered and your friend almost died. you’ve never gone up against someone like him. i don’t doubt your strengths, but he would have your head before you could lift your hammer.”

it was a brief moment before the two men shared a similar expression. damn, loki’s mind supplied. he’d surprised himself with his sudden perturbation. all over thor’s life. a life he’d once sworn to take. loki’s shaky concern drifted back into mortification and he attempted to lean back. but thor was, surprisingly, one step ahead. his hands kept loki in place, to the younger’s chagrin, forcing him to look into blue pools of probity. 

thor believed him. that in itself was enough to steal loki’s voice away. he swallowed his words -- what was he to say? thor was... admitting his faults. he was---apologizing? loki’s eyes widened, reality seeming to waver. thor was sorry. thor, the mighty, brave, perfect thor odinson was apologizing. to him. there was something odd about it. loki had longed for those words to leave thor’s lips for so long, yet this was something painful and raw.

when thor finished, loki knew he was expected to say something. to do something. “you’re--” thor’s hand felt warm on his neck, and though it wasn’t any less distracting, it had lost it’s previous sense of intrusiveness. ( gods, he was beginning to feel lightheaded again. ) “you’re--sorry,” he repeated; the words still feeling like the remnants of a dream. “then---so am i. but if we are to be genuine, at least promise--” loki swallowed, his hand sliding down thor’s bicep. “--promise me that you won’t seek them out. not now. please, brother.”

shame and regret surfaced at last, slumping his shoulders and crushing what remained of his internal emotional barrier with all the utmost ease of a tidal wave engulfing the sand. if this was not mere manipulation –– and how could it be? ( look at his eyes, the unfamiliar but undeniable sincerity shining through ) –– then thor should have been there for him. should have seen the ache for attention in his younger brother rather than allow himself to be so absorbed with his own pride all throughout their youth. worthless, he’d said. loki had thought of himself as worthless, and where had thor been? fighting unnecessary battles and risking his comrades’ lives in the name of proving himself a great warrior? i am a fool.

still frozen with horror, thor’s reflexes failed to prepare him for when loki dove at him. impulse compelled him to grasp loki in return, fingers locking around his arms to prevent him from distancing himself again. “do you think me that weak?” he snapped, his rage only building over the mere thought. “i won’t let them kill me. not before i rip them apart, limb by limb, make them pay for harming a son of odin––” 

the significance behind loki’s protests dawned on him at the last second. the revelation was not unlike diving into freezing cold water, cooling his anger just enough to prevent him from taking it out on loki any further. he cared. he still cared about whether thor lived or died. if that did not convince him that loki was not beyond redemption, nothing ever would.

“i believe you,” he dared to admit. one hand slid up loki’s arm, curling around the side of his neck. in a much softer tone, he said, “i believe what you speak is the truth. but you cannot convince me to stand idly by and do nothing about this. i have to…” he hesitated, thumb brushing absently over loki’s skin as he thought over what he needed to say. “––listen to me. you were never worthless. all throughout our lives, your quick-thinking saved my comrades and i from my own rash foolishness more times than i care to admit. while i played king-to-be and allowed my arrogance to blind me, you were my voice of reason. i… for the part i played in all of this, for not being there––” a strained exhale, pain flickering across his face. “i’m so sorry.”

#❝ never doubt that i love you. ❞ & with thor. | CLOSED ♛ #♔— interactions. #mjolniiir #oH YOU WANNA USE THAT GIF ?? #TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME MOTHER FUCKER #it's ok 2 be gay everybody #when we've plotted the angstiest of the angst #and then on an every day basis loki is 2 busy listening to katy perry to care about a damn thing

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‘shut up and drive’ a loki laufeyson roadtrip playlist - oo2

i. tik tok -- ke$ha ii. dude looks like a lady -- aerosmith iii. starships -- nicki minaj iv. can’t be tamed -- miley cyrus v.  wannabe  -- spice girls vi. g.d.f.r -- flo rida vii. careless whisper -- george michael ( gotta set the mood somehow, right? ) viii. rap god -- eminem ix. cake by the ocean -- dnce x. relax, take it easy -- mika i through x -- various tchaikovsky and beethoven compilations.  because that’s what everyone expects, right??

#civilwartask002 #and i'm done #y'all think i'm kidding but i'm not #come into my ims and i will Explain to u what kind of Trash this child is #also literally eminem says 'asgard' what do u want from me

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alright, so i didn’t mean to take this so seriously but.. HERE is part three of the task. i’d really, really appreciate it if you guys listened to it all the way through because there’s some quality stuff right here. i’m pretty sure the person its to, and the feelings involved are pretty straightforward. just.. prepare yourselves.

#civilwartask002 #i... should not have done this

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Honesty hour. Nothing will be deleted. Come ask me questions. 😊

#s...ure #maybe .... not about... thorki ... #idk why im doi ng this tbh i'm conforming 2 society #followin everyone else #stickin tot he status quo

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‘ now you see me ’ -- loki laufeyson playlist -- oo1

i. see what i’ve become -- zack hemsey ii. orca -- wintersleep iii. counting bodies like sheep to the rhythm of the war drums - a perfect circle iv. warriors -- imagine dragons v. female robbery -- the neighbourhood vi. silver -- the neighbourhood vii. castle (the huntsman: winters war version) -- halsey viii. burn -- papa roach ix. sweet dreams are made of this -- emily browning x. control -- halsey

#civilwartask002 #is he emo or what #ok but i love #u guys pls love my child he needs it #'nat ur being biased what about tony' #well tony gets laid all the time #that's all i have #but i really love this playlist u guys dont understand how often i listen to it #the original is 23 songs so u h...

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         loki wrapped his arms around himself, an unconscious cringe pushing him further away from thor as he spoke. tortured. the word itself brought pain. punishment, they’d called it. reminding you of your place. in time, loki learned to believe them. it was far easier to swallow -- the concept of being molded into something new. but, really, thor spoke the truth. that was what it was -- incessant, sadistic, incomparable TORTURE. 

“i had desire, thor.” his voice was barely above a whisper. “but can you truly blame me? i was left to rot in nothing; my only company being my thoughts. i had just learned that my entire life was a lie. i know you are incapable of truly understanding, but do try.” an air of defense had slipped into his countenance, a sourness dripping fro his words. “can you not see how i may have lusted for revenge? a small part of me did believe that, as your brother, i deserved whatever you did. you, who was to be king. you, the first born---the ONLY born of odin. the prince who was loved by all.” an instinctive scowl settled on his lips and he looked away. “if you thought to listen to my explanation on your archer friend’s experience---the gem’s purpose is not solely to control, but to impress. whatever hatred, envy... longing i had was only amplified. and had i not believed i was worthless to start---” ---i did when they were finished. “i thought the only way for you to understand was for your world to break and crumble around you.”

his voice trailed off, eyes suddenly widening in pure horror at the quick comment. of course thor would be so dull -- so eager to fight. but no, he couldn’t. not against him. the army that attacked manhattan was only the beginning; a sliver, a glimpse. no, his allies were plenty. thor was strong, even loki could easily admit so. even his avenging friends were surprisingly capable. but none of them were capable enough to thwart him. no, should they even so much as suggest it, he would know. he would come and should loki’s previous experiences be anything to go on, he would make sure that this time all of earth was destroyed. he would kill thor’s friends, and then he would kill thor and---

“no.” something snapped in his mind, a familiar sensation though this time his thoughts were clouded with panic. thor was still talking, undoubtedly oblivious to loki’s terrified whisper. loki wasn’t listening, mind occupied with the image of thor being strung up as he had been, being killed because of him. and here loki was trying to fix things, trying to make them better -- yet thor would still be hurt.

“take it back.” before he could fully process his actions, loki lunged forward. chilled hands landed on thor’s shoulders, gripping them with shocking desperation. “don’t even think---they’ll kill you, you idiot. do you understand? TAKE IT BACK.” 

listen, he told himself. a silent mantra spinning around in his head, granting him what small bit of patience he could manage to cling to in the wake of more anger than he could recall feeling in who knew how long. ( since frigga. ) he had to divide his concentration between breathing steadily and paying careful attention to what loki was saying, eyes locked onto him and refusing to turn away. loki’s unwillingness to hold that eye contact, the distance he put between them, the defensiveness in his posture all spoke loudly of one thing. one astonishing thing that thor hadn’t yet realized was, in fact, not solely one-sided: distrust. he didn’t trust him. didn’t trust him, as if thor was the one who might let him down. ( hadn’t he already, as it turned out? )

new york. his allies from new york. thor’s mind latched onto that information with enthusiasm before stumbling over what followed –– when i fell. the ensuing bombardment of memories ( ‘i didn’t do it for him.’ ) finally tore his gaze away, where it fell to study the slim hands tugging at loki’s shirt. “i see.” did he see, really? loki was unraveling truths before him that he didn’t seem to think thor would believe, and thor himself didn’t know if he should. or could. but oh, as he glanced at loki’s sincere ( ? ) expression, there was hope again, that old enemy who refused to leave his side. 

“what, then?” his voice sounded strained even to his own ears, prompting a scowl to form. “am i to assume they… tortured you into doing what you attempted to do to this realm? that none of it was born from any desire of your own?” loki’s staff warped minds, a part of him whispered. perhaps they did the same to him. he’d even been trapped in the void, alone for an undetermined amount of time. couldn’t that break any man, given enough time?

thor found himself leaning forward slightly, dragging his eyes up to meet loki’s once more. “you speak of them in the present tense. where are the beasts who dared do this to you? how do i find––?” something finally clicked. the more he had tried to process everything loki had said, the more one sentence in particular jumped out at him, making itself known when he otherwise might have missed it. his breath left him in a rush, as though he had just taken another sharp blow to the abdomen. hardly above a whisper, he said, “what was your intent, loki? what… do you mean… you didn’t think you would survive?”

#❝ never doubt that i love you. ❞ & with thor. | CLOSED ♛ #♔— interactions. #mjolniiir #i'm weak .. . i'm weak ??? i'm weak #the unspoken kaynat game of who can write the longest response #then come back w the shortest #round 2

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      briefly surprised at the woman’s laugh, loki emitted one of his own.  “judgment and bad hygiene," he echoed, going for yet another bottle. "sounds oddly familiar. seems like quite the time to be alive, if you ask me." he rolled his eyes, taking another drink. "honestly, it still baffles me that your race has lasted this long. i still find myself waiting for the--what is it? oh yes, zombie apocalypse. doesn't seem incredibly far fetched.”

    “ at least you tried. ” rose ward couldn’t help but let out a light CHUCKLE at him. for the god of mischief, he was far more goodnatured in this moment than she’d expected a drunk one to be. “ it’s an old saying. more people back there judged a lot, were often homophobic, and probably didn’t wash their hands: bottom line, they were idiots. but the saying stuck. ”

#♔— interactions. #wardsthcrn #ok but... same... #and i on ly hav 2 #and none of my replies make sense ever #rose n loki: starts w sex #moves on to zombies #good talk

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            it’s only me. right -- it’s only thor. and thor wouldn’t--but he would. no, he should. the thought alone had loki pushing himself up with his elbows, creating as much distance between he and thor as possible. his back hit the headboard and a choked wince left his lips. truthfully the scars had stopped hurting long ago, but the memories were still so vivid that even now he felt his flesh searing. 

his eyes darted to thor briefly, reluctance evident on his features. at first, he shook his head. thor had changed, but not to that extent. loki recognized his expression; the clench of his jaw -- he was ready to fight. but this wasn’t an enemy he could overtake. the thought of thor even attempting to--at some point loki’s breath had quickened and he fought to steady it. hiding this from thor would not last, not when unending persistence was in his nature. 

 “new york---” loki began slowly, “---my allies.” and oh, if that term wasn’t the real lie. “when i fell, i did so with the intent of--” he swallowed the rest, averting his gaze as he had no desire to see thor’s expression. “i didn’t think that i would survive. the void, it was---there was nothing, thor. it was just a constant state of dark... emptiness.” had he not wished for death in the beginning, he certainly wished for it after even a short time left alone to his thoughts. “i don’t know how long i was there before they found me.” 

hesitantly, he brought his eyes to thor’s, hoping to convey a sincerity often lacked. “new york was a mistake. initially i didn’t---i didn’t want a throne. ( i told you. ) after what happened before, how could i possibly--?” his lips quirked, forming a bitter sneer. “but you do not reject him. he offers, you accept, no matter the consequences. you refuse?” his fingers again drifted to his shirt, bunching up the fabric and tugging it further. “his allies are so very persuasive.”

scars meant pain. scars were the remnants of injuries so significant that the body could not forget them, therefore showcasing the lasting impressions of blades or burns or anything damaging enough to leave a mark. scars meant that, at one point in time, loki had felt an unknown amount of pain an unknown number of times ( thor was still counting how many of them there were, fury making his hand tremble with each new number ) delivered by an unknown assailant. ( and he hadn’t been there, thor hadn’t been there. ) he didn’t want to think it, wished it would stop, but it looked like–– like–– torture, his brain supplied again, oh-so-helpfully.

a blow to his abdomen startled him enough to knock the wind out of him. thor reeled back as loki scrambled away, the wild, terrorized look in his eyes not unlike that of prey being cornered by a predator. “it’s all right.” despite his outrage, thor’s voice held a dangerous sense of calm as he lowered himself to his knees at the edge of the bed. maybe if he made himself smaller, if he stayed on loki’s level, it would help ease that damned heart-wrenching fear. “it’s only me.” 

he wouldn’t hurt him. loki knew that, right? thor fell quiet for a moment, gaze flicking up and down the other man’s body as though a new wound might suddenly appear if he didn’t pay enough attention. he wanted to reach out again, but instead he forced his hands down, clutched at his own knees until his knuckles bleached white. “tell me?” it was supposed to be an insistent demand, but it came out as a request, softened by the expression on loki’s face. “please. those are scars; someone hurt you. something happened to you, and i want –– i need to know what it was. please.” he shut his mouth, a tense muscle in his jaw flexing.

#❝ never doubt that i love you. ❞ & with thor. | CLOSED ♛ #♔— interactions. #mjolniiir

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                 “alright---fair enough.” he offered a shrug, brows furrowing slightly. “though i think it would be best to be more direct on the matter. you could always use a cucumber and---actually, i’m not sure what food accurately represents the female genitalia. maybe... a dinner roll? a ham sandwich? ...maybe birds and bees are actually your safest bet.”

Harley stared at the man in wonder. “I um…. I don’t think giving the kids coloring books of the human anatomy… especially during that, would go over very well?” Harley shook her head. “People just… want to explain it in a way that’s not explicit, in a way that kids can understand… but it is a really weird way to try to sell the idea.”

#♔— interactions. #asskickerharley #i gi ve up

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           “well, yes, but i’m having a ridiculously hard time focusing on anything you’ve said when you have toothpaste on the corner of your mouth. i mean—that is toothpaste, yes? if not, i have a whole new question, completely unrelated to the fact that you’re blue.”

“– staring is considered impolite and rude. I would think that you would’ve been raised with better manners. “

#♔— interactions. #notyourbozo #i said i would and i did #i am agood father

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         after a few jostles, loki’s consciousness slowly returned. he vaguely registered that he was being carried---but surely not by thor. then, who else? he attempted to look up, but only succeeded in turning his head slightly so his face unintentionally nuzzled into the person’s chest. okay, definitely thor. thor was carrying him and he was too weak to protest. 

at some point he passed out again, as when his awareness returned he was on--a bed? it certainly wasn’t his. was it thor’s bed? he still felt so lethargic, limbs unwilling to cooperate. how embarrassing, his mind supplied. to have shown his deteriorating state to thor of all people. though surely this proved that there was more going on -- that loki was in no position to cause any trouble. but how humiliating. 

thor’s hands were on him again; loki recognized the rough pads and clumsy touches. he began drifting again, the cushion beneath him proving to be surprisingly comforting. almost as much as the warmth on his back. 

                                      warmth.              on his back. 

                                         know your place, boy.

               do you still feel like a prince, asgardian?      he’s no prince.

                      and he’s not of asgard.     make the little jotun scream. 

it took a moment before loki realized that thor was touching him. that thor had lifted his shirt, which meant he’d---he’d seen. to confirm his horror, he heard thor speak; voice quiet and yet full of pure rage. ( you think you know pain? ) loki fought to regain his strength, and even when he did, he only managed to rear his elbow back, knocking into what he assumed was thor’s abdomen. “get off of me!” he demanded, voice hoarse. he was able to turn himself on his side, fingers immediately going to tug at the hem of his shirt, covering the ugly remnants. “don’t touch me!” at that, he found his voice, though even as he wished for them to have been lodged in a menacing hiss, they came out as a shriek. one dripping with humiliation and fear. 

thor bit down on his own tongue to prevent himself from gracing that accusation with a retort he may later come to regret. loki was the true dense one if he couldn’t understand why he was keeping himself guarded from showing any weaknesses. between the two of them, it was not thor who had a history of deception, manipulation, exploitation. ( nor was it loki who had so much to lose. )

yet for all his attempts at remaining at least somewhat stoic, loki seemed downright determined to ruin his progress. an apprehensive gaze tracked loki’s every movement as strained words left his lips. the guilt he’d already been trying not to feel intensified, clawing its way through his unstable defenses when loki cut himself off with a wince. he really was hurting. why? and when did it start? before thor could ask, the hand against his chest grew slack and he swiftly lunged forward, arms enveloping the smaller man before he could hit the ground. “loki!” panic almost blinded him, his hand reaching for his brother’s neck, feeling for the pulse at his throat –– and breathing out a relieved exhale when he found it still beating steadily. “what has happened to you?” offering a few gawking passersby a sideways glance, he proceeded to lift loki into his arms. without delivering an explanation or words of reassurance, he strode away in search of… what, exactly, he didn’t yet know.

–––– a hotel wasn’t the most ideal place to take a ( former? ) homicidal psychopath, he knew, but it was close by, private, and nowhere near asgard, so it would have to suffice. kicking the door shut behind him, he carried loki to the large bed and unceremoniously dumped him onto it. the exhausted man ended up on his stomach, the impact causing his shirt to ride up and expose a flash of pale skin. thor sighed. “you truly are a sword in my side,” he muttered, bending over to at least adjust him into a position that wouldn’t end in a cramped neck. his eyes skimmed over that strip of skin as he did so, only to snap back to and fix on one spot in particular. a discolored sliver of raised flesh, marring what he once knew to be smooth and whole.

a scar. his brain supplied the word for him, and he wanted nothing more than to reject it. a scar. where had it come from? ( and did he even want to know? ) against his better judgement, thor brought his hand down to the fabric covering loki’s back, bunching it up to reveal –– more scars, too many of them. breath catching in his throat, his fingers moved as if against his will, brushing over the disfigured flesh with more gentleness than he usually ever applied to… well, anything. “who did this?” he breathed out, nearly choking on the sentence. whoever had, he would refuse to show mercy.

#❝ never doubt that i love you. ❞ & with thor. | CLOSED ♛ #♔— interactions. #mmm...hm #does this need a tw #i dont even kno #im that far in #that Deep #deeper than thor in loki's ass

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➳ do you love thor?

        “my feelings for thor shouldn’t be in question. his for me, on the other hand…”

#` responded. #...that's um.... .. #that's a yes #Anonymous

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➳ if you could save anyone you lost in your life, who would it be?

#` responded. #because i don't think he can verbally answer this #g OOd lord my heart #Anonymous

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do you really blame thor for frigga's death?

        “... --- i never truly blamed thor directly. i know he would have… saved her, if he could have. i do blame him for bringing his mortal WHORE into asgard. if she hadn’t been there—this question wouldn’t need to be asked.”

#` responded. #loki loves jane... #wys .. #Anonymous