witch-the-writer

[witch-the-writer]

I've been doing a lot of reflection recently. I am going through the process of unmasking my autism and figuring out who I am beyond the mask, and I had a profound realization yesterday.

Do y'all remember that game kids play on car or bus rides where they hold their breath going through the tunnel? Masking is a lot like that game to me. Sometimes the tunnels are short, and sometimes they're a mile long, but you can't breathe out or you'll lose the game, and you can't lose the game; otherwise, people won't like you and you won't be accepted!

The recovery time after the tunnel varies just as much. Shorter tunnels tend to mean only a breath or two, and you're fine, BUT, if you don't take a large enough breath before, then you can still end up hyperventilating. Longer tunnels, or if your friends try to do things to make you laugh or breathe too soon, mean it might take a minute for you to get back to a normal breathing rhythm. Each scenario requires recovery, but not every one is the same. Once you start understanding what situations are the long and short tunnels, it can be easier to identify when you need to take a step away and take that breath. You don't have to hold it through the entire thing. You are allowed to breathe.

#autism #mental health #mentalheathawareness #masking #autistic unmasking