woozistrophygroom

[woozistrophygroom]

babygirl your enormous eyebags and just barely noticeable tremor have captivated me

[woozistrophygroom]

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

[woozistrophygroom]

you'll just be minding ur business and then suddenly the air smells like an august evening in 2005

[woozistrophygroom]

[woozistrophygroom]

you can’t be a gay icon if you leave your shopping cart in the middle of the fucking parking lot

[woozistrophygroom]

To YOU it’s bad writing. To ME it’s a very nuanced piece of work that explores subtle intricacies without outright saying it. And also it’s bad writing

#me

[woozistrophygroom]

would u let me grow on u like moss or no

[woozistrophygroom]

shoutout to friends btw. best thing earth has to offer

[woozistrophygroom]

#smol

[woozistrophygroom]

#pretty

[woozistrophygroom]

I hate how tumblr memes are so localized to this site i cant fucking find anything

#lol #mood

[woozistrophygroom]

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

[woozistrophygroom]

slime teacher: I want this essay in 12 point font Slimes New Roman

[woozistrophygroom]

im gods weakest faggot

[woozistrophygroom]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[woozistrophygroom]

Over 100 anti Israeli posts but not a single one condemning Hamas 🤔

That's because I don't. Hope that clears things up for you

[woozistrophygroom]

The current state of pop girlies is so funny like

Ariana Grande: getting dragged for homewrecking with the guy who played SpongeBob in the SpongeBob musical

Taylor Swift: dropping her worst album in years about how deeply obsessed she is with Matty Healy

Billie Eilish, for some reason: