darkstarnetwork43
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Blonde joke
A blind man walks into a pub and finds himself a seat at the bar, he orders a pint and the barman brings it to him.
He says to the barman “do you want to hear a good dumb blonde joke?”
The barman says “look mate, I know you can’t see, but I’m six foot seven, and I’m an ex pro wrestler and I’m blonde. The guy sat to your left is my mate John who’s an ex heavyweight boxer and he’s blonde. The guy…
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Engineering choices
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, ‘Where did you get such a great bike?’
The second engineer replied,
‘Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, ‘Take what you want.’
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said,
‘Good…
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To think "flashing was a thing" :)))
Actually, I must credit my sister for an awesome “comeback,” back in the mid 1970’s when she had a job at the local mall’s Cinema tearing tickets, serving concessions, etc.
This was also an era of “flashing,” where a man wearing a trench coat (…and nothing else under it!) would “flash” an unsuspecting female (usually) and then run off. Well, one summer Saturday evening, my sister Sam(antha) is…
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Einstein vs train ticket.
“One day, Einstein was traveling by train from Princeton, when a train conductor passed through the corridor, stamping the tickets of all the passengers. When he arrived in front of Einstein, the scientist searched for the ticket in his vest pocket, but didn’t find it; it wasn’t even there in the pants pockets; so he looked in the briefcase, but he couldn’t find it.
The driver said, “Doctor…
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new hearing aid
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. “State of the Art,” he said,
“It cost me a fortune.”
I asked: “Awesome what type is it?
“He said: “Two thirty.”
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DNA Tests
I have no faith in those so called DNA tests, which allegedly, from a simple blood sample, can tell you where you are from, so i did a test on my pet frog.
I discovered the frog was 70% British, 20% French, 7% Italian, 2% Dutch and a tad Pole.
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If lawyers
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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The great "Pun"dits say
The person who invented the door knock won the No-bell prize.
I couldn’t work out how to fasten my seat belt. Then it clicked.
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Fellows.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Singing in…
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The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night
The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter.
In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was a cute way for her to buy new clothes, etc.
Arriving home around noon one day, she found her husband in a very drunken…
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A sixteen-year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150.
His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!”
“I bought it today,” he says.
“With what money?” says his mother.
They knew what a new F150 cost.
“Well,” he says, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.”
The father looks at him like he’s crazy.
“Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?” he says.
“It was the lady up the street,” says the boy. “I don’t…
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A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink.
Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen.
He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.
“Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!” he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one…
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Rabbits
What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards.
Receding hair line.
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Donkey Dreams
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. He tells the doctor that he has been having really strange dreams for a month, and they are driving him crazy. He says he is watching a hockey tournament but it’s donkeys that are playing.The doctor writes the guy a prescription and tells him to take 2 pills that evening before going to bed, and that he won’t have those dreams any longer.”The guy says “Doc, can I…
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Bringing Back a Certain Time
There was a time when i maintained a jokes site. i always thought i’d make it big and get traffic and so on, but then again, i didn’t realize that the whole process of curating jokes for 20-30 minutes every day, was actually making my life better, because … well, you get to read jokes and have at least 20-30 minutes of laughter every day, regardless of how your day goes. So i am bringing back…
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i had this thought about Pinocchio and AI these days.
i mean i kept thinking about the story and sort of how we generally pull strings in order for AI to do anything right? If you think about it in this context, nothing really happens without humans making a prompt and getting a somewhat of a response in return.So extrapolating this and looking at the bigger picture, it would sort of seem that the majority of humans involved in AI, are sort of…
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A Few Theories About Gardening
i have been having these conversations with my significant other about the lawn in our garden, and she keeps telling me that the grass is not looking properly, we should hire someone to take care of it, that it’s not all uniform and good looking. And i agree to a certain extent, however i have come to the conclusion that all she cares about is how it looks on the surface, for her own pleasure and…
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We
We, as humans, we don’t really know what others think. And when i say others, i mean other animals.You know, we’ve probably gone in nature and seen other animals eat each other and we thought “hey that’s okay, i should do it too”.We’ve never considered if we should do it though. We take it for granted. That is how it is, that is how it’s done.i wonder, i just wonder, how would it be that when…
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